Tears stream down my face as I try to be quiet with my sobs. A nightmare has plagued my dream, and I am upset with how much it is affecting me.

I appear to have failed in my attempts to keep to myself. Garroth has woken up from a nearby bed and is stirring up into a sitting position. He looks over to me, rubbing his eyes.

"Alex? What's going on?" He asks after rubbing away from his sleep.

My eyes widen, sucking in a breath. "I-I'm sorry, Garroth," I stutter out, trying my best to stop right then and then. I shrink further into my blankets, upset. "I didn't mean to wake you. It's nothing really. Please, go back to sleep."

He slowly gets out of bed and sits at the foot of mine. I hide my face from him, ashamed of myself. Garroth sighs, "Alex, people don't cry without reason. What happened?"

I begin to feel silly in his presence. Just hours before, he twirled me around in my long dress. I smiled from the joy of being in his arms. Now I'm crying in the comfort of my bed, and I feel distant from him at this very moment.

Garroth yawns, looking down at me with a saddened expression. He seems disappointed in me for not speaking. "I suppose I deserve this. I didn't speak to you before the war."

I stop for a moment to reflect upon that memory. It's a sad memory, but I felt just as confused as the others. I hadn't fallen in love with Garroth at that point yet. It wasn't until he was in the Irene Dimension that I fell in love with him.

I begin to inch up in my bed until I'm sitting. I place my hands in my lap and look down at them. "I had a nightmare. A horrible one."

It seems his shoulders relax now that I've confessed what has been troubling me. He runs his fingers through his hair. "A nightmare? I haven't had one of those in a while. But why did it cause you to cry?"

I fall silent. I don't want to remember that nightmare. I don't want to talk about it because I'll remember it. I'll think about it. I won't be able to go back to sleep, and it'll keep me up for the rest of the night. I won't be rested for our journey back tomorrow.

"When I had nightmares before, Laurance was always there. He'd hold me in my arms and cuddle me until I'd calm down. I'd cry to him about why my nightmare upset me. He can't do that now, I suppose. I haven't had a nightmare like this since you were still in the Irene Dimension."

After falling in love with Garroth, nightmares rose. I envied Aphmau greatly for being able to communicate with Garroth. For being able to see him. For even being able to feel the warmth that radiates his body. While she saw him in truth, I saw him through lies. Each lie different from the other, but they all start the same. They all start in the Irene Dimension with Zane. But how they end. . . That's different. Each time I watched Garroth die in some new way and for some new reason. For a while, it was hard for me. It's hard, even if it's not real, to watch that happen to someone who you love.

Garroth stands from his spot, walking over to my side and sitting down. He pulls me to his chest, sleepily. I'm held there in his embrace. "I know I'm not Laurance, but I can try my best to do what he did. You know, when I was little and the twins and Zane had nightmares, I did what I could to comfort them. Zane was resistant at times, but he always gave in at the end. . . Would you be willing to tell me what happened?"

I explained it all. My nightmare brought me back to Meteli burning. I was standing there frozen, watching it all happen. I stood in the midst of the fires, hearing screams and cries of pain. They were burning around me. This was my home village, but I let it burn. The villages accused me of being a traitor and carrying out Zane's dirty work.

But then he came.

Laurance came rushing over to Meteli, trying what he could to help those around him to get away from the fire and aid those hurt. He ran into me, spitting hateful words until he had nothing else to say. I've never seen him that way.

He soon runs off after hearing a mother cry from a window. She was having trouble getting out, and she was concerned for her child. Laurance ran into the burning building to save them.

I watched as the child ran out free, and there was a moment of nothing but the sound of burning before the mother quickly exited. But before Laurance can get out, the exit is inflamed in fire. He screams for me to help him, all the while he curses at me for doing it to him. The roof caves in, and Laurance goes silent.

Then, I woke up.

"That's not how it happened, and you know it," he tells me, running his hand through my hair like a brush. I'm held firmly to his chest. I hadn't noticed I was crying through my explanation.

"But what if it had? What if they weren't loading the boat and the villagers were doomed? What if Laurance went over there to stop it? I stood on the other side of the water and watched it burn down Garroth. I did nothing to stop it!"

He squeezes my body, making "shhh" "shhh" noises to quiet me down. "There was nothing you could do, Alex. There was nothing any of us could've done. The damage was already done and beyond repair by the time we got to the water."

This continued for minutes on end. Soon, it was silent in the room. He continued to stroke my head as my eyelids began to grow heavy. At this point, I was sitting in his lap, cuddled up in a small ball.

It feels like what Laurance used to do. I feel loved.