He wants to scream.

He wants to bump his head into the wall, hoping it will help him forget about his own idiocy. How he wishes he was just sleeping. How he wishes it were all a dream.

But the memories are too vivid to be unreal. He is fully awake now and perfectly aware of what he did.

Sitting up on his bed, Poll hugs his plush toy tightly. He blankly stares at the floor with wide, incredulous eyes, as he recalls what took place after Eujae found him at the overpass last night. He doesn't know what came over him to make him behave the way he did around that guy. All he knows is that he was overwhelmed with fear because of what happened to his mother, but he didn't want anyone, least of all his family, to know how terrified he was, and Eujae was the person who was there with him the whole time.

When he made an excuse to go outside, he just wanted to be alone and ease off his discomfiture. He wanted to find a place where he could release the heaviness that he'd been carrying within him, and before he knew it, he was up on the pedestrian bridge.

He made sure to go somewhere far from the hospital so no one could follow him, and no one could see him being weak. While he was watching the different lights from buildings and cars on the road below, a thought occurred to him. He was used to hiding this part of himself, but at that moment, he thought how nice it would be if he could actually show his vulnerability to someone. He might have been used to bottling up his fears and pains, but that didn't mean he never felt lonely doing that. It was not like he never wished for even just a single person to be with him at times like those.

And then, he remembered Gaele. His online friend might have been the one closest to being his confidante. He might have never seen Poll, but he always listened whenever the male twin needed someone to vent to. More often than not, he was there for him at the perfect time. Still, Poll couldn't help but think it would have been a lot better if Gaele was someone he knew in real life.

Just as he was considering chatting with Gaele, he suddenly heard a familiar voice that made him feel different emotions.

The surprise was a given, but at the same time, he felt reassured—grateful even—when he looked at the person's face. He'd wanted to disappear from everyone earlier, but when Eujae found him, there was no denying how relieved he was.

Right there and then, his rationality went out the window, as all he wanted was to feel someone's comfort. That was why he didn't think twice when he leaned on the guy, seeking to be consoled, and told him what he really felt. Poll just did what felt right then.

Eujae Nigel was the bane of his existence, he knew, but at that moment, the truth didn't matter.

Eujae wasn't Gaele, but just for the day, Poll wished he was.

Now with a clear mind, Poll realizes how embarrassing his behavior last night was. What in the world was going through his mind that he thought it was okay to act defenseless? With that guy, of all people?

And why did Eujae just let it happen? Why didn't he call Poll out for acting strange? Then again, they were equally weird with each other during that time.

Poll feels himself blush when he remembers how close they were standing to each other at the overpass. He can't forget the calming scent of mint that the man gave off, can't forget the gentle brush of his hand against his head as Eujae tried to comfort him.

Eujae smelled nice. His touches felt nice.

Shut up, mind, why don't you fucking shut up? Poll shakes his head furiously as if to get rid of the thoughts. Heat spreads across his whole body and the urge to scream becomes stronger. Why is he suddenly feeling like this? It's terrible enough that he did something insane around that guy, and the way he is reacting to the memory of what happened is not helping him have any clarity at all.

It's a good thing he took the day off from school today because he wouldn't know what to do if he ran into that certain person on campus. He doesn't know how to face him after last night.

This is absurd. He's never felt unnerved around Eujae, but right now, just hearing his name is enough for Poll to send his heart racing, to make him feel things. And he doesn't get it. He can't figure out what's going on with him. This feeling is beyond him—something that he's never experienced before.

Poll roughly ruffles his hair in confusion. Try as he might, he can't understand what is happening to him. Burying his face on his stuffed toy, he lets out a muffled cry.

What am I supposed to do if I see him tomorrow?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Gaele: How have you been?

Sent yesterday at 12:34 p.m.

Eujae scowls at the screen of his phone, rereading his message that has been left on read since yesterday. He has not seen the Torres twins since he left them at the hospital the other night. Tem and Poll took a leave from school yesterday because they wanted to look after their mother after her discharge.

He wanted to know how they had been, especially Poll, considering how he seemed vulnerable that day. He wanted to check on him but remembered he didn't have his personal email or number. He couldn't muster the courage to ask Tem, and he didn't think it was a good idea to contact him through his social media accounts as there was a possibility Poll might not be able to see his message request since they didn't follow each other.

In the end, Eujae used the guise of Gaele to ask how Poll was doing, but until now, he has not received any reply.

His expression brightens when a new message from Ten-Ten pops up in the chat box.

Ten2: i'm so so so sorry for not replying sooner. it's that i have been preoccupied with things these past few days, so i could not find a good time to check my messages, i'm really sorry. i have been good. something terrible happened the other day and i wasn't able to go to school yesterday. but it's all good now. we're on the way to our uni. hbu?

Gaele: There's no need to apologize. We have lives outside after all, and I am just relieved to know that you've been doing well. Things have been going fine with me too.

"Is that your girlfriend, Eujae?"

Eujae looks up at the older woman in the car's front passenger's seat, who is now peering over her shoulder to stare at him. They are currently on the way to the university in Lia's parents' car as his uncle and aunt insisted that they drop them off today.

Smiling, he tells her, "It's just a friend, Auntie Ada."

The woman lifts a brow, looking unconvinced by her nephew's answer. "That's what they always say at first. Just a friend. But the way you're looking at your phone doesn't seem 'just a friend' to me, dear."

Eujae glances at the person beside him in the backseat. Lia looks like she is busy reviewing her notes on mini flashcards, but Eujae can tell that his cousin's concentration is not on what she's looking at.

"I don't think it's a good idea to read your notes while you're in the car. You'll easily strain your eyes that way," he points out with a quirk of his brow.

There's not even a pause as Lia immediately drops the act and beams at Eujae. "Coming from someone who can't get his eyes off his phone the whole time he's in the car," she quips, words contrasting her sweet smile and voice, "And you're saying it's 'just a friend.'"

The mischievous twinkle in the young woman's eyes is so contagious that Eujae can't help but grin. Shaking his head, he turns back to his auntie and answers both women at once. "Then let's just say, it's a special friend, but it's not really a girlfriend, Auntie. There's no way that will be the case. For one thing, this person is a guy."

"Oh? A boyfriend then?" Ada reckons without missing a beat.

Eujae chuckles and Lia giggles while the older woman keeps on talking, "I mean, we're in the twenty-first century so people should be more open about it now. It's fine, dear, you can go on liking whomever you like."

His chuckles turn into a warm smile, gratified by his aunt's remark. Even Lia stops giggling, and Eujae suspects she's feeling the same thing about what her mother said.

"Thank you for saying that, Auntie. Really, I'm glad to hear something like that from you," Eujae says softly, and then returns his eyes to his phone, smiling wistfully, "But he's just really a friend."

Well, Ten-Ten is a friend. He can't even say the same thing to the real person, though he wonders if the distance between them has shrunk at all since last night.

As he stares at his phone, he realizes that Ten-Ten has already replied.

Ten2: oh that's good to know. anyway, there's something i wanna ask you but please dont laugh at me okay? promise me okay?

Gaele: Even if I do laugh at you, it's not like you'll be able to see it so what are you worried about?

Ten2: just dont make fun of me

Eujae looks at the message with a sympathetic smile. He doesn't have any guesses as to what this is all about, but he can feel Poll's seriousness through his text. He also sounds apprehensive. Much as he loves teasing him, Eujae gathers that this is not the time for it.

Gaele: Alright, Li'l Ten-Ten. I'm listening. And I won't make fun of you. Promise.

Ten2: no you're not listening. you're reading

He chuckles, knowing the guy is trying to calm his nerves. He notices the stares that the women in the car give him, but ignores them as he waits for Ten-Ten's follow-up text.

Ten2: so uhm... what does it usually mean when you know... you feel this fluttering in your stomach for no reason. i know this is a stupid question but just... i wanna know people's views about it, even though it sounds really stupid...

Eujae blinks, unsure how to interpret the text. He can infer two different meanings from it, but he is not sure which one Poll is referring to. He has yet to fully comprehend it when he receives another message.

Ten2: no, actually forget about it. jeez i realized it was really a stupid thing to ask. i feel stupid right now.

Eujae reads the previous text again before typing his reply.

Gaele: No. Not gonna lie, I don't understand it exactly but if I'm going to read it literally, then I do think it's something that you should take seriously. I'm not an expert in the medical field though.

He has a hunch that Poll is speaking about its other meaning—no wonder he thinks it's something foolish—but Eujae wants him to talk about it specifically. His suspicion is confirmed when Poll replies after a minute.

Ten2: i dont mean that. that's why i said it's stupid, okay scratch what i said about it happening for no reason. the truth is i'm starting to feel like this every time i think of someone and i just dont get it coz i've never felt like this before so i'm confused. i wanna ask my friends about it but i was afraid they were just gonna make fun of me coz i know it's ridiculous. so i just kinda thought telling it to you because it's you but now even i am feeling embarrassed that i asked you about it

Gaele: I figured that's the case. And nah, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. So you feel like that about a certain person, yeah? Doesn't it only mean li'l Ten-Ten is having a crush on them?

Eujae sends the reply and then frowns at his phone, suddenly realizing what the last line implies.

Ten-Ten has a crush on someone. That means Poll has a crush on someone.

That should not come as a surprise, but what baffles him is the realization that he feels uneasy about the idea. So what if Poll has someone he likes? What does it have to do with him?

He considers that maybe his overprotectiveness is at play again. Ten-Ten means to him just as much as Lia does; that's why he cares about who they like, and that's why he has the urge to know who those people are.

However, he is aware that this feeling is different from overprotectiveness. And he knows that his concern is not really about Ten-Ten, but about Poll.

"Ah, I feel like these kids have grown too fast. Even my Lia has learned to keep secrets from me and won't tell me about the person she likes," Eujae hears his auntie speaks again, the last statement piquing his interest.

He takes his gaze off his phone and sends his cousin an inquisitive look. "You like someone? This is the first time I'm hearing it. Do I know that person?" He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible, but deep inside, he's wondering why he is suddenly discovering about people around him having a crush today.

He looks back at his phone to check if Ten-Ten has replied, but there's nothing yet.

"I bet you do. That person is one of our friends, after all. It's someone who likes to watch anime."

His hand freezes around his phone upon hearing his cousin's reply. Eyes snapping back to the young woman beside him, he blurts out, "Who?"

A smile slowly spreads on Lia's lips. "That's for me to know and for you to find out." She winks at her cousin before going back to reading her notes on flashcards.

Staring incredulously, Eujae puzzles over what she said about the person.

Someone from their circle of friends. One who likes anime.

He can think of two people who fit the description.

Poll and Nick.

Eujae realizes he's fine with the latter since he knows that Nick is a good guy despite being talkative and whiny sometimes. It's much better for Eujae if the person his cousin likes is one of their friends, as he can be sure it's someone who genuinely cares for Lia. Plus, if it's Nick, he knows the guy will never dare play around with Lia because he's intimidated by the overprotective cousin.

As for Poll, it's not the same. Eujae can't bring himself to be as receptive.

He slowly returns his attention to his phone and stares at the screen vacantly. There's no reason he shouldn't be fine with Poll as well. The guy may be childish, he may have been arguing with him for years, but he can also be caring and sweet when it comes to Lia. It is not like Eujae isn't aware of that, but the image of his cousin and Poll together still doesn't sit comfortably with him.

"There you go again with being protective of your cousin, young lad," the driver remarks.

Eujae looks up to see his uncle studying him through the front mirror. "I can't help it, uncle. She's my only cousin, and she's also like an only sister to me."

He gives the older man an awkward smile, feeling guilty about the fact that he is not being completely honest with them. And with himself.

This is definitely not overprotectiveness; he can tell that now. He recognizes this ugly, prickly feeling, but he is afraid to put a name to it.

Looking out through the car's window, he tries to divert his mind.

They reach the university after a while, and before getting out of the car, Eujae checks his phone one more time. There is still no response from Ten-Ten, much to his disappointment.

While he and his cousin are walking to campus, they run into the Torres twins and Risa. Eujae quickly thrusts his phone into his jeans' pocket upon seeing Poll.

On the other hand, the male twin makes a strange reaction when he sees him and Lia. Poll's eyes widen and his cheeks flush as he looks at the Castillo cousins. The shift on his expression doesn't go unnoticed by Eujae.

Before any of them can issue their greeting, Poll grabs Lia's arm, declaring, "We need to go to our first class soon."

"W-we do?" Lia looks at her friend with a dubious expression.

Poll doesn't reply, and then, he's pulling the young woman away from the rest of their friends.

The three remaining people watch them leave, all looking confused at what is happening.

Once the two art students are out of their sight, Risa turns to Eujae. "What was that?"

Even Tem is looking at him curiously.

Equally bemused, Eujae shrugs and shakes his head. "Beats me."

Risa gives him a doubtful look for a few seconds, before letting it go, as she switches the subject. "Anyway, we were just talking about this before you and L.A. arrived, but would you guys prefer the mountain or beach for our getaway this weekend?"

"Even if I say I want to go to the mountains, I'm pretty sure you guys have already decided on the beach, right?" Eujae wants to know.

In response, Risa grins, making Eujae roll his eyes.

The women keep talking to each other as they walk to their college building, but Eujae's mind is too preoccupied with something else to understand their conversation. There are a lot of questions running through his head.

What is up with Poll and Lia? Why did the guy react like that when he saw his cousin? What was that blush for?

Who does Lia like? Is it Nick or Poll? What is he going to do if it turns out to be Poll?

Is Poll really starting to have a crush on someone? Is it Lia?

Ten-Ten told him before that he only likes Lia as a friend. It is not like Eujae thinks Poll was lying, but that was an answer from the past. People's feelings can easily change.

In any case, what the hell does he care?

Absentmindedly, Eujae pulls out his phone from his pocket. When he sees that Ten-Ten has already answered, he immediately opens the game chat.

Seeing the message, a deep frown crosses his face as it causes for more questions to arise.

Ten2: no i don't think that's possible... i mean, i've known this person for years so i know there's just no way. how do i say it, the thing is... that person is someone from our circle of friends.

Eujae grips his phone tightly as he fixes his eyes on the last line. The person that Poll may like is also someone from their group.

What in the world is going on here?

He begins falling behind his friends. He comes to a halt and looks back over his shoulder to see where they came from, particularly where Lia and Poll disappeared to.

There is the unpleasant feeling that's starting to gnaw at him again. He wonders if he is just overthinking, but the little knowledge that he learned about those two today is really bothering him.

All these speculations that he's come up with; Eujae hopes he's got it all wrong.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AN: Thanks so much for the 5k reads. This chapter should have come earlier, but I haven't been feeling well for a few weeks. Thank you for reading. See you next chapter.