Chapter Three

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When Alder walks up to me in a masculine form of the outfit I'm wearing, I let out a sigh of relief. "How do you like your stylist?" I ask, smiling. 

He shrugs. "She's pretty cool, I guess. She just joined and she seems at least subtle enough compared to other stylists. Not Cinna, though. Then again, we look like Capital people back home compared to Cinna." We both look at my stylist after that comment and laugh silently. 

"He's actually nice. Apparently he made these outfits after my aunt and Peeta and when my aunt died, he decided to wait for the next perfect tributes."

"Yes, Tressa told me," he said, nodding once. 

"Tressa?" I frown, not recognizing the name. 

"My stylist," he explains. 

I nod. "Oh, sorry," I say. "You never told me her name. Anyways, how awesome do you think these costumes are?"

"Did Cinna show you what they do?" he questioned curiously. "Because she said she wanted what happened to be a surprise for me." 

My eyes widen. He's going to be really surprised. "Yes, he did. You're going to love it. It's literally like we are the coals. It might not sound that pleasing, but trust me when I say it is." I smile before thinking of something else to say. I open my mouth to say it but he cuts me off. 

"I think we're going now," he tells me, looking around at everyone setting up. Just as he says it, the music starts up. 

District 1 tributes start to ride out, a boy named Eero and a girl named Silver. Then district 2 tributes and so on. Eventually it's our turn, and Cinna has turned our suits on. "Make sure to smile," he tells us, grinning. "They're going to love you." 

As we're moving the music is loud and my heart is beating a mile a minute. Alder and I locked eyes for a few seconds before turning our eyes to the crowd, watching them cheer us on. I follow Cinna's advice. I start to grin as the crowd cheers for all of us. I see a picture of us on a large television screen and I almost pass out at how amazing we actually look. I can't believe Cinna has pulled this off. 

I start to think of Posy and how she had reacted while she was in this same spot. How she had cheered and blew kisses to the crowd and how adored she was. I knew that if I wanted to at least get as far as she had, I'd need to start now. So I started to follow her steps, and the cheers grew louder. I don't know what I'm doing, but I will do everything I can think of to help my survival. I won't let Kale grow without his sister. I won't let Laurel be the only girl. I won't let my parents loose a child. 

Flowers are thrown at us, at me, and that makes me grin even more. I think of my aunt, who had gone through the same thing. I remember her catching a rose, and I reach out and catch one too. I follow her steps and blow a kiss to the general direction it came from. I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm doing this. 

Eventually the twelve chariots are in the loop of the city circle, filling it up, and our chariot is pulled up right up to President Snow's mansion. President Snow is a young woman, only around her thirties or fourties. She took control after her grandfather, also known as President Snow, died of old age. According to Peeta she's a better leader than the other President Snow, who he had a few conversations with before the old man had passed, but she's still from the capital and the hunger games are still happening. 

President Snow starts to give a welcome speech from her balcony, which used to belong to her grandfather. Eventually the national anthem plays and the chariot is parading around the circle one more time before going back to the Training Center. I smile at Alder as we we're surrounded by our prep teams who start telling us how well we handled it. 

Cinna and Tressia come find us next. They help us down from the chariot and then our suits are turned off. "You guys did an amazing job," Tressia told us with a grin, and Cinna nodded along with her. 

"I'm very proud of you," Cinna specifically says to me. "I'm sure your mom would be, too." At that my eyes water a little bit. I had never met my aunt, but she touched the lives of everyone I do know, and I just feel like she would have been amazing. I give Cinna a small hug before Tressia pulls him away, talking about some outfit ideas. 

"I can't believe we just did that," I turn to Alder and say. 

He laughs. "Well, believe it." He gulps. "I can't believe that by the end of this week we'll be in some random environment. I don't know how we'll get through the training center with the gamemakers watching us as we train. Can you believe right now they know where we'll be? They know where 23 of us will die? What the location looks like... All the ways we could. It's so strange."

I take a deep breath. "Well, I hope it's not a desert."

**

Elda started to chat away with Alder as we were riding the elevator to our floor, which would be our home for the next week. They were talking strategies and sponsors. I didn't bother saying much, I was stuck in thought about what was really happening. 

"Of course, sponsors are Peeta's job, and he's always been really good at talking them into things, but I just think that it's good I help at least a little bit, considering that I'm the one who lives in the Capital," she said to Alder when we reached the floor. 

Our new 'home' is significantly larger than my house back in District 12. There are buttons everywhere, and I have no idea what any of them mean. I decide the first thing to do is take a shower, and I spend an hour figuring out how to use all the different buttons. Eventually my shower is over and finding clothes is the next thing to do. I almost sigh in relief when I find that the closet can be programmed to have outfits for my own taste. 

Once I'm dressed and done walking around my room, checking all the different buttons or mouth pieces for commands, I'm being called for dinner. The instant food is mentioned, my stomach starts to growl. 

When I get to the dining room, everyone is already sitting down at the table planning strategies. I sit in the open seat between Alder and Peeta, smiling. While our dinner is being served, Peeta starts mentioning my hunting. "So, you're trained in shooting arrows like Katniss, right?"

I nod. "I'm also pretty good with throwing knifes. Sadly, that's all I'm really good with." Soup is placed in front of all of us, and I almost cry out at the amazing smell. I instantly dig in as Peeta starts to reply to my statement. 

"I think that's a really good start. During training I want you to focus on the things you need help with. New skills are more important. I'd refrain from even looking at the training stations for the bow and arrow and the throwing knifes." We continue eating the meal after Peeta says that, and then he starts to talk with Elda about her finding sponsors. 

"I think you two should split apart during the training," Cinna says. My face must show my confusion, so he explains. "It will be easier to gain more alliance members if you get them as singles. Look for other singles, the underdogs."

Peeta joins in. "That's a great idea, Cinna," he says before turning to us. "You guys need to get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow. Rest easy," he waves us off. 

I nod and both Alder and I get up, and he starts to walk me to my room. "Goodnight," he says, smiling. 

I smile back. "Goodnight." I watch him walk away before I go to the elevator. Peeta told me about it, and I figured going up there I could think in peace. I look and see the stairs to climb up, and immediately start to go. 

I look down at the Capitol below me when I reach the roof, and reach my arm out as if I could touch it. Spotting a rock in the corner of my vision, I grab it and toss it easily out there and it bounces out. "Force field," I mutter under my breath before turning around. It's pretty obvious to me there must be at least five cameras watching my every move, so I simply sit down and look over. I notice people walking around, families probably making it home after a great day in paradise or couples coming back from dates. It's weird to think other people have lives separate from yours. 

I might be dead this time next month but I'm sure someone will be getting married next month. Life will go on without me, just like it did for Posy or Katniss. Simply because life doesn't revolve around me. It's something that had been on my mind for a while that was really hitting home right now. "What are you doing up here?" I look over to see Peeta walking up. 

"Thinking," I reply, smiling softly as I turn back to see a woman running down the street in very high heels I would never be able to pull off. "Did you ever go up here with her?" I whisper, my voice barely recognizable. I almost don't want to hear the answer. 

"Once," he replies after a moment of silence. "I mean, we didn't go up together. We just were both up here. She was beautiful."

"Do you ever wonder if it was possible that you two both could have gotten out? Maybe you both would've been happy." I frown. "Maybe I could've met her."

"That's about as likely as Finnick Odair being a virgin," Peeta replied lightly, before realizing who we was talking to. "I'm sorry, sometimes I forget you're twelve with how mature you can be."

I wave him off laughing. "It's fine Peeta." I take a deep breath. "I've probably heard it a thousand times but what was she like?" 

"She was... extraordinary." I look over to see him deep in thought, probably trying to remember. "She had the most amazing voice, you know. And she was strong like you. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as tough as that girl, she never cracked other than when Rue died, I don't think. She was just that type of person." A large smile graced his face. "And she was the most selfless and caring person on the planet. Everything she did was always for those she loved. Volunteering for Prim, hunting for her family, that little tiny funeral for Rue..." he trails off his sentence and I wonder what he's stumbling over before he actually says it. "And sacrificing herself so I could live," he finishes, and I notice him so full of emotion. 

"Peeta," I start but never finish. 

"She always believed that she wasn't a good person, apparently. She thought she wasn't beautiful or that she was not a likable person. She didn't think she was selfless, in fact I'm sure she probably thought that she was selfish. She was so wrong. I honestly think it should've been me who ate those berries that day and I think about this every night." 

"She sounds wonderful," I say, a smile on my face. "But, I'm happy that you're here still." The smile from before slips back on his face, but the smile leaves mine. "Is it gonna hurt when I die?" 

"Who said you're going to die?"

"I'm twelve. No one younger than fourteen maybe fifteen has ever won before. The chances of me winning is zero."

Peeta shakes his head. "No, everyone has a chance. The first step to having a chance is having hope." He looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Never loose that hope. Even when you're there, in the games, there will always be that one spot of hope in your heart. Even when you're on the ground with a leg wound that will never heal," I think of his prosthetic leg and wince, "there will be hope. It doesn't go away. Some people in that arena will think of your hope like a weakness but you need to take that hope and make it your strength. Promise me." 

I nod and stay silent before a thought pops into my head. "If I don't die, and if  win, things still won't be the same ever again, will they?" 

Peeta shakes his head sadly. "No. No, things will never be how they were for you. Everything will change." 

I look to the people in the capital, moving around and living their lives. "I don't want to change." 

Peeta gives me a smile. "Change comes on its own whether you want it or not. Embrace it."