Of course, he wouldn't notice her. The blonde cheerleader felt like a complete imbecile as she was discarding the used tissues into the waste bucket.

For almost three years now she had been trying to catch the eye of Justin Mani. Heck, she even joined those pompous cheerleaders just so she could be no more than a few feet away when he was shirtless on the football field. For years, she had been almost joined to the hip with him. Doing everything and anything that the boy needed to be done for him.

And even with all that, the guy didn't even have the decency to remember her name.

Maybe he just didn't care about anything like that. Justin Mani was known throughout the entire school as the hot jock that didn't date. It's not that he didn't appreciate the company of girls. The blonde cheerleader had known just how skilled he really was a few months past when summer was in full swing. But that never seemed to be enough for Justin.

No matter what the blonde cheerleader did to enhance her beautiful face, no matter how much attention she put to the way she dressed, no matter how much she kept up with the trends, Justin Mani still seemed to be caught up in something else.

Naturally, it had to be another girl.

But he paid no more attention to them as he did to her. In fact, she was lucky enough that he even gave her his summer time. Many of the cheerleaders had already moved on from the enigma that is Justin Mani and found boys who were easier to manipulate. The blonde cheerleader would have most probably had a boyfriend by now with all the love letters she threw in the trash everyday she opened her locker.

But there was something about Justin that she just wanted to understand. It was nothing to do with body pleasures. She had already known what it felt like to have him with her. But she wanted to understand his mind. Understand what exactly he was thinking when he was staring at the air at lunchtime. To know what exactly went through his mind when he would tell her she was beautiful in the summer and completely ignore her in the winter.

But maintaining this life of a cheerleader was a hard one for the blonde cheerleader. The party appearances that needed to be made, the money that needed to be spent on clothes and make up, the attitude that needed to be developed to play the part... It was hard to fake all of that for three years.

Even without Justin's cold shoulder, today had already started horribly. Her mother had refused to leave her room in the morning. Yesterday had been hard on her and the blonde cheerleader knew her mother was a volatile being. But she still needed her. She was the only family the blonde cheerleader had now.

The rest of the day passed with little event. The girls had convinced her that she should not miss the next week's party at one of their number's place. She didn't blame them for being happy on a day she was straining just to grin and refuse the invitation. They didn't know about her problems. And she was not so stupid as to start trying to explain them to these girls.

She got home to find her mother in the kitchen, doing nothing but staring outside the glass doors, a framed picture in her hand. The blonde cheerleader knew better than to disturb her from her grief. The woman had never been particularly active ever since her husband left her in this house alone. It wasn't necessary anyway. She had already learned to live without the attention of her mother.

She did the house chores, made sure she had cleaned the morning's dishes and went to replace her mother's beddings now that she had finally left her room after five straight days in it.

"I'm going to work now," she didn't really expect a response as she came back to the kitchen, dressed in her waitress uniform, "I left some dinner in the microwave incase I'm late again."

There was nothing from the woman that indicated she had heard her daughter speak to her. Sometimes, the blonde cheerleader wondered if the woman was dead already. She did very little anymore other than breathing and existing. It had been a long time since their problems began. It looked like they were not going to solve them any time soon.

The girl had forgotten what her mother's voice sounded like. She couldn't remember what her love felt like either.

"Bye Mama. I love you," she placed a kiss on her forehead and left the house. It seemed more of a cemetery to her than an actual home. But she didn't want to give up on her mother. All they had was each other.

Her mother was the least of her concerns as she was stepping into the coffee shop. She was already six minutes late because of that bus driver who didn't make the 4 pm schedule everyone was used to.

"Someone's in trouble," the girl at the register teased as the blonde cheerleader shrugged off her coat and stashed it out of sight.

"How bad is it?"

"Deductions."

The blonde cheerleader sighed as she went to stamp in. Sure enough, her boss was not in the least bit happy with her arrival time. In the end, she left the office, cussing her out silently and ten dollars less in her paycheck for the day.

"You were right," she spoke to the cashier and got behind the counter to start up the coffee machines.

"It's a gift. I am not proud of it really. Especially when it causes my friend so much heartache,"

The blonde cheerleader smiled at the girl's silly remarks as she went about setting up. It was impossible to be down in the company of her co-worker. She had this sense of always looking to lighten the mood around anywhere she was.

The blonde cheerleader knew the girl from her school but had never once spoken to her. It was a lucky thing that she was friends with her now. These last few months have been hard on the blonde cheerleader to find anything to laugh about.

The hours seemed tolerable as she worked with the girl. They spoke of many things of importance, some that held no reason but to make them laugh, and most just to pass the time.

"So," the cashier spoke as both she and the cheerleader were locking up the coffee shop after hours, "did you talk to him today?"

The blonde cheerleader had always been fascinated by how interested the cashier had been in her love life. Ever since she had seen her together with Justin on a date in their workplace, she had expressed more than once that they were meant for each other.

"Yeah. We talked."

"And?"

"That's it."

There was a silent lull between then as the blonde cheerleader finished locking up and turned to find the cashier looking at her thoughtfully.

"What?"

"You aren't pushing hard enough, Lexi."

The blonde cheerleader wanted to tell her that all she had been doing for the past three years was pushing. That was apparently all Justin wanted from the girls he gave interest in. He demanded so much of people yet he would give nothing at all. He was a mask that probably no girl on this earth would ever get to glimpse what was underneath.

But in the end, she knew she could never stop. She knew that her friend was right. She had to give it her everything before she gave up.

"I know, Gwen."