"I'm learning how to be content with simply not knowing, and be at peace with the notion that everything does not need an explanation."

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Chapter 5: The Niall

Niall looked down at his father's grave, with his hands freezing and his eyes watering.

It was easy to ignore the fact that dad was gone when he wasn't confronting the literal imagine of his passing, but when stood right in front of it, it desarmed him.

The skies were grey and threatning to pour rain that cold September morning. The smell of freshly cut grass filled the thick air and it was difficult to see too far due to the foggy ambience, but the graveyard seemed empty, deadly silent.

Niall wished Liam had come with him, but he didn't know if it was a good idea or not duo to Liam's latest lash outs. So Niall tried his best to feel safe on his own, even though the painful feeling of loss invaded him.

He closed his eyes letting a tear roll down his cheek. After a deep breath, he opened his eyes again and leaned down to touch the polished stone. "I miss you so much." He whispered to wind.

He let his body fall on the ground and seat, leaning his back against the dark marble as he tried to relax.

His tense breathing made his whole body tense, or maybe it was the other way around, Niall didn't notice as he was ravelled in thought and...

The noise of a branch breaking, like a sign from beyond, caught Niall's attention and he turned his head to the right quickly.

"Eileen." He called and she turned her head, feeling like she saw a ghost.

His eyes could never misplace that face, but it had been so long since he saw it he almost couldn't believe it. There she was, wearing a white dress, with a purple tulip in her hand, in front of her grandmother's grave.

Niall remembered when they used to visit it together.

She looked like an angel. Pure, untouched and perfect.

But surprisingly, she let the flower fall, and her tiny princess feet made a sprint to get away from him. Niall frowned confused and then got up and chased after her.

Soon he spotted her figure hiding behind a tree. "I can see you." A smile brightened his face. "Why are you doing that?"

Niall walked up to her, right around the tree, and looked closer at her face. She was leaning agaisnt the trunk, and her hands to her face, closing her eyes.

Niall chuckled at her reaction, softly taking his hand to hers and dragging them away from her face.

"Hi." She mumbled after her lids opened revealing her warm gaze, her beautiful dark eyes.

"Hey." Niall said, a sense of satisfaction in his chest and a small smile resting on his lips.

"I'm sorry, I haven't seen you in so long." Eileen whispered as she looked back in Niall's blue eyes.

Too long, Niall thought. "You look beautiful." He said instead.

She gazed down at her fidgetting fingers, her sweet smile showing. "I still think about you." She admited for no apparent reason.

Niall gulped hearably. He looked down as well, scared of what to say next.

"You really hurt me." Niall let out as he glared up. Obviously he was still so hung up on her, but maybe it was because the pain didn't let him forget.

"I know. I'm sorry." She said making her eyes glisten with water, her chest churn.

A thunder sounded making them both look up at the sky. And the first drop fell on her cheek. And quickly, it was pouring.

Niall grabbed her hand. It was his first instinct: to protect her.

They ran towards the exit together and leaned against a bus stop that had cover from the rain.

Running out of breath, he looked down at their joined hands. "You're shaking." He noticed.

Niall took off his jacket and put it around her. It wasn't much, but he didn't like the thought that she was cold. "Thank you." She said.

Her hair was dripping wet, her cheeks were rosy from running and her chest rose and fell rapidly.

"Niall." Eileen called to obtain his focus. He looked up, his pupils dialated, his skin humid, he smelled of the same thing he always did. Clean laundry, that fresh, nice and fuzzy scent. It was inviting. "Come home with me?"

Her vunerability did not go unnoticed, her voice was weak and she sounded like she was pleading. Niall didn't know what made her hurt so much, in the back of his head he was wishing it was all because of him, which was egotistical but he couldn't help it.

He hadn't even thought of her request until it hit him what she was asking. Niall wanted to go. He wanted to touch her so badly. But then he remembered what Liam used to say when he was learning about the nervous system in medical school. 'Pain is the way our bodies let us know there is something wrong and that we should stop with said action that is causing us pain.'

"I can't." Niall answered making eye contact and she immediately looked away, trying not to look pathetic as she was being rejected.

"I understand." She fake smiled, her eyes always turned to her surroundings.

"I don't think you do." He answered back, not angrily, just frowning and decisive about it. It was true. If she did she wouldn't be asking him that. "I opened my heart for you, and you ran away. I hadn't felt like myself for so long, and then my dad died. Me and Liam lost everything and you still wouldn't return my calls."

"I'm so sorry." Tears quickly rolled down her eyes, as she said it slowly. Niall knew she meant it.

"I still don't feel like myself." Niall insisted on that. It was all true. That was the reality. "I know you regret it, but you are just going to have to forgive yourself. I can't do that for you."

"I know."

"I really can't." He persisted.

"I know." She repeated, making small nods with her head.

"I should go." Niall said.

And Eileen didn't want him to go, but she knew he should. So he left, and she didn't remind him that she still had his coat wrapped around her.

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Niall knocked heavily on the door, like he was drunk and had no notion of what he was doing but in reality he was just tired, and he couldn't stop crying for fuck's sake.

"Niall!" Liam said when he opened the door, before a frown fell upon his face when he examined the boy who was dripping wet and sad. "You're crying?"

"Stop being a shitty friend, Liam. I know you are angry but that doesn't give the right to take it out on me." He screamed. He rarely got angry. His face was all red and scrunched up.

"Oh, ugh-... you're right. I'm sorry." Liam said.

"Good. Now, make us some tea! I'm cold."

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Niall sat on the couch dressed in comfy pajamas he stole from Liam after the bath he took. A blanket wrapped his body and he held a hot cup of tea in between his hands. But he didn't feel so relaxed.

"I'm so stupid, my god!" He groaned out in frustration. He felt like hitting himself.

"Stop beating youself over it." Liam dragged, walking with his own mug of tea to sit next to his best friend.

"She was just there, standing there! Perfect! Begging for me to come home with her! And I said no?" The more he said it the more he surprised himself with his stupidity.

"See it from the bright side, you haven't cried like this in months! You are finally letting it out!" Liam patted his back before turning on the television, rolling his eyes.

"Are you listening to me? I rejected her! There is no way in hell I'm gonna have that chonce again!" Niall tried to grab Liam's attention.

"Look,..." He faced Niall with his body to show that he was indeed listening. "If it was for the sex, then there are literally a thousands girls out you could replace her with, and if it wasn't then I think you did good. She hurt you. It's time you move on!"

"You don't think I want to move on?" Niall raised his voice and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yesterday, you showed up here with her facebook account hacked! The day before that you hacked into her phone to errase her boyfriend's number-"

"He's not her boyfriend!" Niall pointed a finger.

"See what I'm talking about?" Liam raised his voice even more. "You have to ignore these thoughts about her."

Niall leaned back, defeated. "I just don't see how I can move past this."

"Niall, don't be naive! Nobody is ever trully cured from a broken heart."

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QUESTION #1: What did Eileen do to hurt Niall? Theories?

QUESTION #2: What do you think of Niall's decision to turn down Eileen? Was it wise or stupid?

QUESTION #3: What do you think of Niall's change in behaviour from the last chapter to this chapter?

QUESTION #4: Why is Niall not able to move on?

QUESTION #5: Do you think Niall is mature compared to Liam?

A/N: Heyah! (BTW Niall and Liam aren't blood brothers, it's just both of their dads died. The why is coming soon ;).) Niall's chapter(I'm such a Niall's girl)!!! All the main characters are finally fully introduced. My stats say 3% readers are boys.

See you next time!