"Old

habits

die

hard."

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(Warning: Vomit , drug abuse including needles and graphic discriptions on this chapter.)

Chapter 10: The Relapse

Liam woke up with his head pouding.

It was rare for him to awake with a strong hangover, he usually didn't get those. But that morning, his head was throbbing in agonizing pain.

The room around him stenched. Booze and smoke and some other nasty smell, acidic, horrible, mixed in a combo that made Liam sick to his stomach.

He slowly tried to get up, feeling all of his limbs hurt, trying his best not to open his eyes completely after realising he had left his blinds open, and the sun was shinning in like a bitch. He sat up slowly, noticing the lack of clothes on his body, and the amount of people snoring around his bedroom. Did he have sex with all of them?

He couldn't remember. Most of last night's party was a blur.

All he remebered was a pretty eyed boy, and how he took him to the roof and trully tried to console him.

And then he got angry and stormed off. Boy, that was stupid!

Liam didn't want to think about his ridiculous behavior. It killed him to think of how selfish he was. He wouldn't come to terms with it. But he was sure that sooner or later he'd realise in full extent what he had done to his dad, to his best friend, to his past boyfriend, to his sister, to his mom. To all the people in his life that he either pushed away or made them hate him.

And that day would be the worse day of his pathetic life. Worse then when his dad died.

So Liam crawled out of bed, his head making him dizzy, his stomach twirling and a gag reflex made him run to the adjoined bathroom and get his head on the toilet to release what was probably the worst tasting liquid ever.

The chunky and colorful puke flew out of him, making Liam cringe and feel dirty and disgusting. Liam thought he was going to die. His eyes pressed shut as another gag reflex kicked in making him open his mouth to expel more of it.

Liam wasn't sure if he had passed out during it, or if it was so bad his brain blocked the memory immediately.

Either way he slowly got up feeling lightheaded as he stumbled his way to the bathroom's sink cleaning his mouth with water, before taking some in his hands and splashing it cold against his face.

"Fuck!" He hissed at the stinging feeling before regaining his strengh and looking down to search for an aspirin in the drawers bellow the sink.

Finally, he found the pills and took two with a sip of water before walking out of the room.

Every one was still asleep and he managed to get to the kitchen without falling over something, even though his mind lacked clarity.

Who had fucking opened every single blind in the fucking apartment?

Liam took lazy steps to the fridge and opening it's doors, he grabbed the carton of orange juice, his hand coming in contact with the cold, making Liam shiver. He opened the carton and drank furiously from it before shoving it back in it's place and shutting the fridge closed.

His head was still thobbing. He wanted to die just to stop suffering like a bitch. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the fridge, baring the pain, feeling the horrid smell that the party he threw last night had left still.

The door burst open, and like most days in came Niall, his laptop in his hands, and his glasses shinning from reflecting the screen of the computer.

"What the fuck happened here?" Niall abruptly stopped when he walked in closing the door, actually disconnecting his eyes from the screen. Which was rare.

Liam didn't even want to talk. Every smell felt enhanced, every noise was louder, like he got hypersensitive, but in a way that everything was profusely hurtful.

"Why are there people scattered everywhere?"

"Shut up!" Liam wanted to scream in pain, but all he did was roughly whisper with a hoarse morning voice.

"See your partying adiction finally showing it's downs? In no time, you'll be growing a beer belly and showing signs of an STD." Niall remarked, setting his computer down on the counter and starting to open kitchen drawers ramdomly. But Liam was in no condition to ask what he was doing.

"I'm not in a mood for irony, Niall!" Liam took a hand to his temple and, closing his eyes, he rubbbed it, trying to calm down his fucking headache.

After a suspicious while of silent, a deadly bang erupted and then another and another. Liam opened his eyes to see Niall with a frying pan and a wood spoon banging away close to the people sleeping. "Wake up! Go sleep in your own houses, come on!"

●

"Here is some hot coffee and water. You gotta drink a tone of water to cure that dehydration!"

The aspirin Liam took was starting to kick in, but still not enough that Liam felt he had energy to make a smart remark about how you don't cure dehydration.

Plus Niall had managed to kick everyone out while Liam comtemplated his own death as a viable solution to end his pain, and got dressed in something warmer that just boxers.

He felt the couch sink lightly beside him , as Niall scootted closer after bringing his computer over and starting to type away.

"Thank you." Liam quietly said before grabbing the steaming mug and taking a sip of it carefully not to burn his tongue.

"What happened last night? This place is a mess!" Niall was right. Cups, bottles and cigarette butts scattered around the place, and there was probably puke somewhere.

"Things got out of hand. Where were you?" Liam asked, his voice still failing on him.

"I went to visit my brother. He is in town." Niall answered.

Liam drank his coffee in silence. He felt slightly better and everything about last night was coming to him slowly.

"Do you think I'm selfish?" Liam said out of the blue, as he laid back in the fluffly couch.

Niall raised his eyesbrows, and stopped what he was doing, afraid to look to Liam directly. "Sincerely?"

Liam frowned, immediately taken aback. "What do you mean 'sincerely'?" Niall couldn't miss the defensive tone. He rubbed his hands together and took in a deep breathe. "Just give me an honest answer!"

"Look,-" Niall turned around and looked his best bud in the eyes. He didn't want to ofend Liam, but he also saw an oppotunity to be truthful. "I remember how you were before our dads died. I remembered how responsible and selfless you were..."

"I don't care about that crap, Niall. I'm saying now. How am I now?"

"Well, you are wounded. You have immense pain and you are trying your best to deal with it. But it wouldn't hurt to do what I said and see a therapist."

"Thanks for your honesty." Liam remarked sarcastically.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. Forget it!"

"Lehumm- Tell me what is bothering you!" Niall stayed wide eyed and pressured for the other to talk. A sweet but determined look like Niall was extending his hand to help Liam out of the hole he fell on.

"It's just-... you dealt so well with it. Like you were ready to see your dad die or something..." Liam looked lost in thought. That was probably why that slipped off his lips.

"That is a horrible thing to say." Niall's eyes turned glossy. He was, most assuredly, offended.

"No! What I meant was... sometimes I feel like my relationship with my dad was not... just.." and Liam couldn't phrase it. He couldn't talk about this subject in clear light.

"Liam, just tell me... what is it?" Niall put an arm around Liam's back, giving him a brotherly hold, hoping it would feel like consolation.

A phone started ringing and it called to Liam's attention. He got up, making Niall roll his eyes that he just left, vanishing into the bedroom.

"We need to hire a cleaning lady to came save this place." Niall said to himself as he looked around waiting for Liam's appearence.

Liam got to his room and found his ringing phone in the drawer where he had hid it last night.

He picked it up, to see an unknown number call, and even though finding it weird he picked up.

"Hello?" Liam spoke into the phone pressed against his ear.

"Liam?" The voice was high pitched and sound overly stressed.

"Louie?" Liam guessed.

"Yeah, look you were with Zayn last night right?" Louie was rushed, he was clearly worried and it made Liam feel worried as well.

"Yeah, why? What's wrong?" Liam asked.

"Look if you see him, please give me call. He didn't came home last night and I'm really worried."

"Are you sure you need to be worried?"

"Yes. When Zayn doesn't came home something bad has happened." Louie's voice carried a deep emotional weight that Liam couldn't put a finger on.

"Well, have you searched for him?"

"Most the places he usually is in."

"Okay, don't freak out. We'll find him, Louie."

"If you do find him, and he is passed out or something take him immediately to the hospital to get checked out."

"What do you mean checked out?" Liam slowly made his way to the living room, a hand on his hip and frown on his face.

"Just see if he needs to get his stomach pumped or anything."

"O-kay..." Stomach pump?

"Let me know if you find him." Louie said quickly before Liam heard the beep, indicating the end of the call.

"What's the matter?" Niall asked from the couch.

"I don't know. I thought he was just sad cuz he loved Louie." Liam scratched his head. Things didn't make sense. "Fuck!" He yelled in frustation.

"What?"

"I have to go. Where are my car keys?" And Liam proceeded to walk into the bedroom again.

What was going on? Niall couldn't cut through the layer of nonsense.

He ran to Liam's door and peeked inside to watch him search through the drawers next to his bed, furiously. He looked out of himself, whispering words that lacked any nexus.

"Liam, what is going on? You are worrying me!"

"I'm so fucking dumb!" A tinkling sound erupted and Liam grabbed the keys he found hid under some pairs of socks.

He walked in decisiveness, not even minding the boy with the glasses that follow behind, his heart racing.

Liam grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, swinging the door open in front of him vorasciously.

"Where are you going in your pijamas?" Niall ran to stop Liam from exiting the flat.

"To find Zayn."

"Who's Zayn?" Niall frowned, before Liam pushed him aside, walking out, phone and keys in hand.

●

Driving around with nowhere to go, not only sounded meaningless, it was starting to get on Liam's nerves. His veins popped out, texturing his neck and his breathing heightened.

He pulled his hair back with his fingers as he looked beyond his car's windows to the streets, before he snatched his phone from his pocket, dialling Louis's number.

It went to voicemail. "Have you found him yet? Call me." Liam didn't even care that his tone sounded rude. He threw the phone to the passenger seat next to him carelessly.

This was all his fault. He had unknowingly played a boy in a delicate situation.

Liam closed himself off before Zayn leaving the boy with no one else to support him.

He left him alone, and unprotected.

How could he have done that? Who had he become? Zayn opened up to him, trusted him and he broke that trust, shattered it beyond mend. Had he done this with everyone? Had he broke everyone's trust?

Shit, fucking shit.

The phone laying on the seat started to ring and Liam picked it up without even checking the caller.

"What?"

"Liam?" Louis's soft voice came through.

"Have you found him?"

"I haven't yet but a few people saw him last night. I think I know where he is." He didn't sound so confident about what he was saying, Liam thought-

"Well where?"

"I'll just- go search in there and if I spot him I'll tell you." He sounded hesitant.

"Louie! No, wait! I want to go as well, where are you?" Liam persisted as he kept on driving through the empty streets, one hand on the steering wheel.

"Why are you even searching for him anyway?"

Liam didn't know what to answer, he wasn't aout to lay in detail his motives. "I'm worried."

"Worried, hah?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I'd like to know where your worry was last night!" Louis yelled.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had been more careful as well."

"I bet you don't even know what you have to be worried about!"

"What do you even mean, Louie?"

"I mean you don't even know anything about Zayn!" Louie hissed making Liam wince.

"I know enough."

"So you pals now, hah?" There was something petty in the calm tone that Louie used to question Liam.

"What do you care?" Liam found it odd, as he remembered about Zayn's confession about his unreciprocated love for Louie.

"I don't!" He quickly bit back.

Liam closed his eyes, and huffed in frustration lightly annoyed. "Whatever. Back to the point. Look, I'll come pick you up and we'll go there together."

"Why do you have to come pick me up?" Louis was being so unflexible and stubborn.

"I have a car, you dumbass!" Liam yelled.

"Ow." Everything went silent for while. "Meet me close the Black Café, in the road that crosses the Blaze Tattoo parlour in five."

●

"Took you long enough." Louis hopped in the passangers side, shutting close the car's door with unnecessary force, creating a loud thud.

He sported a sullen look, and after buckling his seatbelt he crossed his arms looking ahead.

"You are in a mood." Liam raised his eyebrows while saying that after turning his focus away from the whole tantrum Louie threw and back to the road, starting the car.

"I'm sorry. Let me try to remain calm annd collected while my best friend is putting his life at risk-" Louie had this bitchy tone going on that almost made Liam zone out, had he not heard that.

"His life?" Those two words slipped off his lips, and even thought unsafe, he turned his face to look at the other boy.

Louie was caught off guard. Liam noticed how his eyes glistened with water, before turning his gaze away to his side window.

"I thought he just got drunk and lost." Liam turned back to driving with attention, his tone shifting completelly, his voice lower and deeper.

Louie didn't answer, didn't move. The tension grew thicker.

"What is it, Louie? You can tell me."

After a sniff was heard Louie spoke in the deepest tone Liam had ever heard Louie speak. "He'll tell you if he wants to."

●

"Pull up here." Louie had not look in any direction, other than the window the whole time they drived. He had only given directions.

"Here?" Liam found it odd that they were pulling up into an old parking lot surrounded by rotting abandoned houses.

Quickly they parked and walked out, being met with the chilli wind as they did. Although the sunny day, it was not warm at all and they walked with their hands stuffed inside the pockets and their chins downs, trying to avoid the cold.

"Louie, this place is giving me a weird vibe." Liam expressed, looking around the place with a sting on the pit of his stomach.

"Follow me." He said, starting to walk away, his steps crunchy against the deserted lot. It was not clean whatsoever.

Liam tagged along, doubting it at first, but soon catching up to Louis' pace.

Louie was heading to one of the houses in specific, just next to the parking lot. The outside of the house, as Liam deducted, was probably white. But with time it got dirty, and people had painted over it, and even exposed brick showed here and there.

The door was knocked down and the window were either broken and shattered or closed completly. So only a few rays of light shone to the inside as you could see from outside.

Louie gave a firm glace back to Liam one last time before making his way into the house. Liam frowned but quickly followed.

"Louie!" He hissed as he stepped through the door.

Immediately the putrid smell hit his nostril and Liam winced, covering his mouth and nose with his oversized sleeve.

He looked up to find Louis looking around. Someone, that looked more dead than alive as he smoked a cigarette, laying on the dirty and dusty ground.

Liam soon realised this was a junkies' house. He was immediately scared of what state he would find Zayn in.

Louis and Liam walked further, as this was just the entrance of the house, and into a hall that led to more rooms. They turned right to an empty one. In that room the smell was worse.

His house's smell this morning was like a scented candle compared to the shit that hellhole was. About six, seven people spread around. Some slept and others did crack, and there were a couple further in the corner with needles, injecting who stared back at the intrusers with eyes of despair. It made Liam uncomfortable. The room had two cracks on the window and it was poorly lit. It was disgusting and Liam was trying to avoid touching anything.

Liam stood shocked at everything happening, while Louis searched for Zayn's face.

Nothing. He wasn't in this room at least. He looked back at Liam, moving his head to indicate to go the other way. Liam did so as he walked to another room in the left corner.

Here more people slept on the dirty floor.

Liam followed Louis's lead and got through the room. The faces that he saw looked beyond mend, unrecognizable. Where was Zayn and why would he come to such a place?

And then he saw him the right corner, passed out. His lips in a pout like an infant, his eyes closed. Liam didn't even gave it a second. He ran to the boy, who slept on the bare ground.

"Zayn." He called quietly as he kneeled beside him, grabbing him up. A glass pointy object rolled out of his grasp. Liam looked closer at it. "What the hell?"

"It's a needle." Liam frowned as he looked back. Louie stood on his feet, right next to him. His expression was undescribable. Was it guilt? Pure disapointement? Intense pain?

His eyes were glossy and his jaw was tense. His hands were clenched in fists.

Liam looked back. Zayn was clearly breathing and drool poured out of his mouth.

And Liam realised...

Zayn had a problem. A problem that he couldn't mend. He was ready to give Zayn everything he needed but it would never be enough.

That was the look in Louie's eyes. It was hope and immense sacrifice being rendered as completely useless right before Louie's eyes.

Liam picked the boy up, before dusting off the dirt his body got covered in. He almost felt weak to do so, and Zayn was light as a feather. "Do you take him to the hospital?"

"Nah, he shot it up. We take him home and let him sober up." Liam nodded and followed Louie out of there, with Zayn in his arms.

●

Even thought Zayn was passed out, and would probably be for a while after what he took, Louis and Liam strip him naked and gave him a shower, managed to dress him in some pajamas and put him to bed.

To Louie it felt like going back to the dark times, where Zayn would pull something like this every other week. Where he was trully hooked. Louie swore he would never come to that again. But he lost his wit. Things seemed normal. He should've knowned better.

To Liam, on the other hand, it was all new. He avoided looking at Zayn's body and everything, while Louie practically did all the work with a ill-tempered look on his face. Liam could have sworn he had done this a million times and was used to doing it alone.

Now, they were both in the living room, silent. Drinking tea Louis had made.

Liam had a million questions, but he wasn't about to ask.

Louie just seemed like he was about to explode, as he was so calm and collected through all of this. Liam could almost see it coming.

But... Louie didn't shift at all. And when he finally moved, he did so with tension. Setting his steaming mug on the living room's table before he walked to the adjoined kitchen, and pouring some hot tea in another cup.

Louie didn't know if Zayn would awake up or not but he was more than ready to say what he had to say. He walked to Zayn's door and opened, without knocking, and closing it. He turned on the lights off the bedroom making Zayn grunt as Louie set down the mug on the bedside table and sitting on the bed.

"Good. You're awake." He spoke loudly, startling the other boy who slowly opened his eyes.

"Louie..." his raspy voice whispered.

"Let me talk. Listen carefully." He spoke in the same volume, his tone keen and decisive.

Zayn gathered his strengh, as he sat up slowly.

"This is the last time." Louie gulped but his voice didn't crack, although the words looked like they were forced. "The last opportunity. The last chance. Ever. I'm done. I feel you crawling back down that hellhole you were in last year. No more coke, no more heroin, no more crack, no more pills, no more alcohol, no more smoking weed. Nothing that will set your addiction off. You desobey this, and I will move out and you'll never see me again. You understand?"

Louie wasn't sure what came over him but he managed to pull through without cracking, unlike Zayn who had tears slipping down his eyes.

"Now, I know it is difficult for you to control it. But if you get the thirst for it, you come to me. You can't relapse. You can't. Unless you want to loose me."

"Louie..." He whispered again, cleaning tears with his fingertips.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Zayn nodded.

"Is it clear to you what I mean?"

Zayn nodded again.

"Great." Louie got up and walked out of the room, not sure of what he had just done.

"Louie." The other boy called louder then before.

He turned around to watch as Zayn opened one of the drawers next to him, and pull out a little bag with white powder.

Louie closed his eyes, breathing loudly. He was fucking furious.

"Give me that." He snatched it off his hands. "Is there any more?"

"I still have weed."

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QUESTION #1: Name all the motives that caused Zayn to relapse.

QUESTION #2: What is going on inside Liam's head? Clarify and simplify.

QUESTION #3: What made Louie come to such measures?

A/N: Heyah! As many of you know I will be now doing longer chapters. But not as long as I predicted. I am just no longer gonna have the mind set 2000 words a chapter, cuz I felt like that was limiting my work. I do that all the time. Put limitations on things I have absolute control over... but that iss no longer so all is cool and chill.

Z2 is announced.... i... just....

Also I made a cover shop! If you want a cover for your book, hit me upp!

So... I hit 3k reads. THIS IS INSANE! I'm shooketh! THANK U! I'M DYING.

Funny story: When I noticed it hit 3k I was so excited and told my sister and she literally, with the most annoyingly expressionless face, she said: I don't care.

She has also threatned to create a wattpad acc and come spoil everything for you guys cuz she knows the ending of the story... she is a bitch.

See you next chapter!