To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Oh, My Krishna
Paul, look what I found on the You of the Tube.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Oh, My Krishna
George, it's called YouTube, and WHAT IN BLOODY TARNATION DID I JUST WATCH?!?!?!?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Oh, My Krishna
It's obvious whoever made this thinks you and John are gay. Did you not listen to the song?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Oh, My Krishna
I did listen to it, and it's very disturbing.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
John, George sent me a video about you and Paul being gay.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
He sent it to me too, son. Don't feel special.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
What do you think of it?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
The song is pretty catchy.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
And?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
And what? Whoever put it together worked hard.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
You're not going to say that their idea is incorrect?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
No, because everyone's entitled to their opinions, aren't they?

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
Since when did you become so calm? You usually scream at me in all caps.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
I'm currently getting a massage, thank you very much, so I'm reaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyy mellow.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Lordy Lordy Picca Bennicoff
Oh, okay. I'm glad you're calm now, John.

Ten minutes later

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
WHO MADE THIS VIDEO ABOUT US BEING GAY?!?!!!???
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!????
WE'RE NOT GAY
THIS
IS
AN
OUTRAGE
I'M GOING TO FIND THIS PERSON AND PERSONALLY HAVE A WORD WITH THEM

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
John, calm down. It's okay. You don't need to take it personal.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
I CAN AND WILL TAKE IT PERSONAL, MACCA
I AM SO NOT CALM AND ZEN NOW
MY BLOOD PRESSURE JUST WENT THROUGH THE ROOF

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
John, why are you so angry? You're bisexual, if you remember correctly.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re Subject: Jxyxhkamhdggimeaijneyddniandmd
😑