smut warning and self harm reference/mention   

     "Evan... We don't have to do this." Connor reassured the boy, reaching his hand out to him only to be grabbed into another heated kiss. He pulled away, smiling but a little worried about the other.

      "I want to do this... Don't you?"

      "I don't want to hurt you-"

      "You won't." Evan offered a look of confirmation to Connor, watching as the other became more relaxed. They stumbled to Evan's room, their bodies in a messy tangle. The couple collapsed onto the bed, kissing each other deeply. Evan pulled away to take off Connor's sweatshirt, looking quickly to his wrists and smiling as the marks were fading. He took off Connor's shirt and started unbuttoning his pants when Connor stopped to take Evan's shirt off of him, watching the smaller boy blush. 

      "Your body is so fucking hot." Connor whispered as he trailed his hands over the parts Evan said were okay to touch. Evan went back to fumbling with Connor's pants, managing to unbutton and pull them down, kissing down Connor's chest to the hem of his boxers. Connor moaned softly, pulling Evan up to meet his height. He kissed the boy deeply, holding his face in one hand while the other pulled down his pants. Evan straddled Connor between his legs, leaning over him as he attached his lips to his neck. He bit down on Connor's pale skin and left a neat trail of hickeys down to his chest. Connor gripped Evan's shoulders, flipping them over so he was on top. He kissed from his lips down to his stomach, earning a small moan from Evan. Connor pulled on the hem of Evan's light blue boxers, looking up to him a little scared.

     "Please." Evan mumbled, prompting Connor to go farther. He took off his boxers carefully, Evan doing the same to Connor. Evan reached over to a table, grabbing a condom and lube packet. He handed it to Connor blushing, trying not to make eye contact. Connor almost laughed as he rolled on the condom and put lube on his length. He lined up to Evan, looking at the boy sincerely.

    "This is okay?"

    "More than okay. Fuck me, Connor." Evan said confidently. Connor was surprised at his authority, but pushed into him slowly. Evan moaned, tightening around Connor's dick. 

     "F-Fuck... Go faster." Evan wasn't new to sex, but this was one of the first times it felt like someone cared about him and not just the pleasure he provided. Connor thrusted into the boy faster, feeling Evan's hands make their way up to around his back. His fingers scrapped against Connor's back, leaving hot red scratches as their bodies moved together. 

      "You look so good babe..." Connor whispered through a moan, gasping as he felt Evan hold him. Evan panted as Connor sped up and gripped tighter onto his back. Evan felt himself warm up as Connor started to hit his prostate. He let out a quiet moan as he could tell Connor felt him tightening around his dick, earning a moan from the taller boy as well. 

    "I'm... I'm gonna come." Evan panted, squeezing his eyes closed as Connor pounded into him. He released with a gasp, his cum spraying onto Connor's stomach and the bed sheets around them. Connor moaned deeply, thrusting into Evan a few more times as he came inside the boy. He pulled out panting, collapsing next to Evan as he wrapped up the condom and threw it out. 

     "I'm so proud of you." Connor said against Evan's neck, his lips resting against Evan's soft skin as he peppered him in kisses. Both boys were breathing heavily, but Evan still reached out his arm over Connor's stomach.

     "I-I can't believe... I didn't think after Will I would ever... You're fucking incredible, Con." Evan blushed as he moved closer to Connor so that the other could feel his breathing. 

     "You deserve to be treated right. I-I didn't hurt you, did I?" Connor said worried but relaxing a bit as Evan laughed lightly.

     "No, you were amazing. I'm usually cautious with everyone but... With you I feel okay. I... Trust you. Because I love you. So much." Evan said the last few words in between sloppy kisses, Connor wrapping his arms tightly around the other. 

     "I fucking love you so much, Evan Hansen." Connor mumbled, stroking Evan's chest softly. Evan leaned further into Connor, blinking and then pulling up his boxers with a small blush. He always felt more conscious of his body after sex, but Connor frowned a little. He did the same though, so that Evan would feel more comfortable. Evan looked to him a little surprised, but hugging Connor tightly.

      "T-Thank you." He murmured as Connor hugged him back, kissing the side of his face softly. 

      "I should be thanking you."

      "Shut up." The boys stayed cuddled together in bed for what seemed like forever, grumbling as they heard Evan's alarm wake them both up in the morning. Evan threw on an old shirt with some shorts and took Connor's sweatshirt from the ground, smiling as he threw it over his shoulders. Connor refused to get up until Evan promised food. He borrowed some of Evan's clothing, a simple black tank top a little too small for him and a pair of oversized sweatpants. They did their best to clean the sheets and hide the mess they had made the night before. He kissed Evan almost lazily as the couple headed to the kitchen, Evan looking shocked as he saw his mother.

     "Evan I'm so sorry I was out so late last night, I went right to bed since I didn't want to wake you and- Oh. Who's this?" 

     "It's fine and this is C-Connor Murphy. He's JD in the play... H-He wanted to sleep over so we could practice." Evan managed to stutter out, nervously eating a bowl of cereal and motioning for Connor to find something to eat as well.

     "Hi Connor! I'm Heidi. I'm so excited to see you and Evan perform together. I'm glad you two are getting along." Heidi gave Connor a warm smile as she went back to getting ready for her day. Evan grabbed his bag and hugged his mom before dragging Connor out the door.

     "I like her." Connor stated as he smiled to his boyfriend, throwing his arm around Evan's shoulders as they walked to school.

     "She's great. Like you." Evan said giggling, kicking a rock as they walked along the sidewalk.

     "That's pretty gay, Evan."

      "You're a pretty gay." Evan said teasingly, Connor kissing his cheek roughly. They met up with Jared as they walked into the school. Jared noticed the hickeys, smiling suggestively to Evan. He almost laughed as the boy lit up bright red, shoving Jared playfully. Jared was happy that his friend finally felt safe, as he had watched him struggle for so long with any physical contact or any interaction. It was amazing to see him around Connor, he was suddenly so open and so radiant. Connor and Jared had first period together, so Jared took initiative to approach him before class started.

     "Hey... I know we aren't that close but I wanted to thank you."

     "What for?"

      "F-For saving Evan. I was so fucking scared... H-He's so happy around you, s-so don't you dare hurt him. Sorry. R-Really, thank you for helping him when I... I couldn't." Jared's voice was breaking as he spoke quietly to Connor. Tears were on the verge of his eyes as Connor smiled and put his hand on Jared's knee.

     "I'll take care of him. He really loves you too, Jared. I can tell." Connor nodded, directing his attention to the teacher as the bell rang. As soon as the class let out, Jared gave Connor a hug before rushing out the door a mess of tears.

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a.n: i fucking love jared,, why do people make him the villain in fics so much i don't understand??? aight sorry for the lame smut but,, i tried. ily all thank you so much for the comments n votes n reads... i had no idea it would go this far and it means a lot to me <333