TRIGGER WARNING: suicide mentions, weed mentions

     "A sleepover?"

     "Yeah! Y'know... You and Jared come over and... sleep! And other things of course but-"

     "I like how you still call it a sleepover. That's cute."

      "What else am I supposed to call it?" Evan spoke defensively. Connor smiled and kissed his cheek, holding the boy tight in his arms before they had to walk on stage. 

     "I don't know, just, hang out? I guess." Connor murmured into Evan's hair. Evan blushed, playing with Connor's hand in his own.

      "Whatever, do you want to?"

     "Of course, no weed, right?"

     "Right. It's bad for you! Your mind is still developing." Evan stated, smiling as he saw the director motion for them to walk down. The boys walked together giggling, the rest of the cast standing lazily on stage. 

     "Meant to be Yours... We're going to try to "hang" Ronnie today, crew?" The director called out in a hurry. Evan gulped and Connor's face went white. 

     "Can I do it? Please?" Connor quickly mentioned to a crew member holding the bed sheet. He got a shrug and the sheet thrown at him in response. The sheet was simple and white, yet the fact that Evan was going to hanging from it terrified Connor. He had a rough past with suicidal tendencies, his fists were turning white around the sheet.

     "Connor....? We kinda have to... Do it... Now..." Evan mumbled, pulling the sheet away from Connor only to have it tugged back from him. He looked at Connor scared, seeing his expression blank.

     "I'll be careful. Tell me if I touch anything, okay?" Evan nodded as Connor's hands gently reached under his costume, tying it tightly around his waist. He reached up to Evan's neck and shakily tied a very loose knot, his lips traveling to Evan's to kiss them for just a moment. 

     "Hey, I'm okay. It's only fake." He gripped Connor's hand before the crew whisked him away to be someone suspended in the air with a bunch of different technical wires. Connor darted off stage to go find his trench coat, tears lining his eyes as he tried to choke them back. He stood at the side of the stage, waiting for the music to start.

     "All is forgiven baby! Come on, get dressed. You're my date to the prep rally tonight!" As the song started he did everything he could to avoid looking to Evan, his blocking becoming messy as he refused to enter the side of the stage he was hanging from. He nearly ran into the ensemble waiting behind him a few times, blushing embarrassedly. 

      "We, the students of Westerburg High, will die." Connor was rushing ahead, his words mismatching with the group of singers behind him. He winced as he made eye contact with the disappointed director.

     "Ronnie, don't make me come in there! I'm gonna count to three! One! Two! Fuck it-" He mimed out crashing a door open and he saw his boyfriend hung midair. He almost gasped, falling back a few steps. He tried to improvise to make it look like his blocking, but he fell to the ground in some panic. He was breathing heavily, trying to hold out for the last few notes of the song.

      "You were all I could trust, I can't do this alone, still I will if I must!" As the song stopped the lights went out and Connor sprinted the few steps to get to Evan. He looked frantically to the crew lowering him, and he saw his boyfriend smile as his feet reconnected to the stage. Connor rushed to Evan's side, holding him tightly in his arms as he unwrapped the bed sheets. Hot tears streamed down his face as he took Evan's hand and pulled him off stage to the empty hallway. 

     "Connor, I'm here. I'm okay. I'm not dead, see? I'm talking to you right now, can you take a few deep breaths for me?" Evan sat the boy down, climbing into his lap to look directly into his soft eyes. Connor gasped for a breath of air, hiding his face in Evan's hair. 

     "I-I can't stand to se-see you looking like you're... de-dead..." Connor was shaking and Evan tried his best to engulf Connor in as much of his grip as he could. The boys were cuddled close to each other, their bodies so entangled there was no space for anything to exist in between them. 

     "But I'm right here..." Evan looked at Connor scared of what could possibly be causing this attack for him. He continued to try to convince Connor he was okay by giving him soft kisses all over his face. 

      "I can't help it. I ju-just remember it... I tried to a-about a year ago now. To ki-kill myself. To end my life. And remembering how it fe-felt to have the rope around my neck... I don't want that to ever happen to you, Evan." Connor slurred out, his tears interrupting his voice. Evan melted even further into Connor's arms, feeling them close tightly around his shoulders. 

     "With you by my side, I don't think I'll ever consider that. I don't want to leave you... I love you, Connor." Evan spoke softly against Connor's neck. 

     "I love you too..." Connor managed to speak out, the couple going silent as they embraced each other. For just a moment, they felt completely safe in each others arms in the dusty school hallway. After a minute, the door slammed open and Jared walked out. 

     "Hey, my second favorite queers. Rehearsal is almost over but they want you to just sing Meant to be Yours again, Connor. You okay by the way? You booked it pretty fast-" Evan looked to Jared to get him to stop talking. Connor nodded and picked himself up, reaching out his hand for Evan to get up as well. 

     "I can do that, thanks you smelly gay." Connor smiled to Jared, the trio walking back into the auditorium. The director glared at Connor but Evan held his hand defensive of his boyfriend.

     "Just sing the last bit again, Murphy, and then we can all go home." They sat at the edge of the stage together as the music skipped to the last part of the song.

     "I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! I can't do this alone! Finish what we've begun! You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need! You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed!" Connor managed to bellow out the last few chords and Evan smiled proudly. The music cut and Evan leaned over to give him a dramatic kiss, and as they pulled away Connor saw Will wink at him from the corner of his eye. 

      "We still on for tonight?" Jared said as he played with the trench coat on Connor. Evan nodded, grabbing the boys on either side of him by their hands. 

     "Definitely. Ready to go?"

     "Yup. You sure you don't want me to bring some weed...?"

      "My mom's a nurse, Connor."

     "...Oh."

//

a.n: hihi! i'm back from my shitty trip hahah fuck me slowly with a chainsaw enjoy this crap