*

Janiah adjusted her shades as she walked down the sidewalks of Historic Pointe. Historic Pointe was a side of the island stuck in the past so to speak, deeply nostalgic, and reminded you of the simple life before technology came and changed everything. The crowd was eclectic and mixed. Hipsters in their 20s, Rastafarians still stuck in the '70s and worshipped Bob Marley or locals who were here since the beginning. 

This side of the island was mostly left empty until the 60s, then apartments, shops, and restaurants were built and this area grew. Bob Marley himself held a reggae festival here and it's basically been stuck in the Woodstock age ever since. Tenants may have moved out and moved on but homes were never renovated, businesses closed or went bankrupt but other businesses just moved in and made the best of it. It was looked down upon if you wanted to renovate anything unless it was a hazard. The potholes were the worst on this side of town. The roads were old, crumbling concrete, some of it was rocks and gravel and some of it was simply dirt or sand. 

If you wanted the touristy, glamorous, modern experience, this was not the place for you. But if you wanted some authentic and original Bermudian lifestyle, this was the perfect place. Like Old San Juan in Puerto Rico, some called it 'Old Bermuda.' The houses and apartment buildings were all different colors, if the homeowners wanted to, they would repaint the house so it would look brighter, but that was the only thing new about the place. It was beautiful. Houses were every color you imagined from orange to purple, to pink to green. The more colorful the better. 

The shops were even vintage. There was one old carwash, one gas station, and one bus stop. All of the businesses were family-run or small businesses; no chains or big corporations here. There were a couple of mom-and-pop stores and restaurants, a malt shop run by an American, a couple of hole-in-the-wall bars and lounges that still had live bands, old-school jukeboxes, and cigarette vending machines, a couple of 'coin only' laundromats, a butcher shop, a fish and farmer's market. Small beaches and the best music festivals. The favorites in the area were the drive-in theater, the many thrift shops, and the only record store on the island, Vinnie's Records.

Gentrification hasn't reached this side of the island yet, which had its advantages but unfortunately, disadvantages too. One advantage was having the cheapest rent on the island but it was still a safe area. The disadvantage was every apartment and home was full and there was a waiting list to live there.

Janiah sighed, she was one of the many who wanted to live on this side of the island. It was a no-brainer with the cheap rent and all but she also loved the vibe. Everyone loved the vibe. 

She switched her hips as she walked and licked on her chocolate ice cream cone. She looked at her watch and had a couple of hours to kill before going to that god-forsaken strip club. She walked, continuing to ignore anyone who tried to get her attention. She paused when she saw Vinnie's Records.

She's been meaning to come here ever since she moved here but never had the time. 

She did now.

She opened the door and walked in, a bell announcing her presence. A girl with long braids was behind the counter, her back was to her, she glanced back for a second and said, "Lemme know if you need anything" as she continued doing whatever she was doing. 

Janiah walked around looking at their selection as Bob Marley played. A group of regulars walked in and Janiah could tell because the girl behind the counter said, "What's up guys? It's been a minute."

Janiah sighed, they had a great selection but she didn't have a record player. They had a shelf of record players and she didn't know that they still even made them. She checked the price tag of some of them and they were out of her price range. All the expensive record players had 5-star ratings. She saw a small cute one that was about $80 but it only had 3 stars. Figures. "Don't buy that one" one of the regulars said to her. "They suck. Trust me."

"Leave her alone, man. You don't work here" the girl behind the counter said.

"No one deserves a shitty record player," the guy said with a shrug.

"Thanks," Janiah said to him. She continued making her way around the store. She saw a selection of black light posters and she smiled. She loved black lights. A lot of them were vintage, made in the 70s. She looked through the rack when she heard a couple of people laughing. She took a couple of steps over and noticed a short hallway that led outside behind the shop. Two guys were playing hacky sack. One had grease stains on his tank top and white pants. The other had a loose tank with high-waisted bell bottoms and a long knitted scarf around his neck that went down to his knees. Wasn't he hot wearing that? Bermuda didn't have winters here per se but summer was just around the corner and it was hot out. She shrugged and went back to browsing and minding her business.

"Whoa cool tattoo," the random regular said to her. She snapped her head toward him. 

"Excuse me?" she asked him, looking him up and down. The perv.

"The drumsticks," he continued. "Are you a drummer?"

"Oh," Janiah said with a sigh of relief. She had quite a few tattoos and some were in explicit places, not too trashy though but if you looked hard enough you can see them. "Yeah, yes I am."

"Seriously?" he asked her in shock. 

"Lemme guess you've never seen a girl drummer before," Janiah said with a sigh as she put her hands on her hips. "Women can-"

"I have but none that were any good," he said and then raised his hands in surrender. "Just my opinion though. How long you been playing?"

"Since I was 14, I was in my school's drumline and I also play set."

"I wish I could hear something," he said to her. "See what you can do."

"Yo, can you leave her alone?" the girl behind the counter said as she approached them. "I'm sorry, he thinks he works here."

"This is a music shop, you got drumsticks around?" Janiah asked her. This guy only looked half impressed and she wanted to prove him wrong. 

"We just sell records, record players, and random merch like t-shirts, posters, and the like, no musical instruments."

"You got anything resembling drumsticks?" Janiah asked her.

A minute later, Janiah was playing a drum solo with two pencils. One of the regular's friends started beatboxing as Janiah did tricks that Nick Cannon's character from Drumline would be proud of. The beatboxing gave her an idea and she started to freestyle and started banging on the desk with her fists to keep the beat.

"Ok aye aye aye/running up them bands I'm tryna ball til I fall/running from his bitch he gonna come when I call/if it ain't 'bout money then you know I ain't involved/worry about these motherfucking haters no not at all/9 times outta 10 I'm the realest bitch you know/if you ain't wanna pimp then why you fucking with me for/if you ballin' and you know it then let the money show/if he acting scared to spend it I'ma show him to the door/ok now shake with it/shake the shake shake with it/and if the beat live you know that I made it/and when I pop it he get stiffer than some fake titties/and don't be worried who I'm fucking cuz you ain't hit it ahh"

The store exploded in 'Ohhh's!' from the group of regulars, the girl behind the counter, and the two guys playing hacky sack outside. Janiah smiled as they cheered her on and told her how talented she was. 

"Do another one."

"You gotta pay for that," Janiah said with a flip of her hair.

"I know that's right," the girl with the braids said. "No, but sweetie you are amazing! How are you not signed?"

"I ask myself that every single day."

"She does too," the guy with the scarf around his neck said as he wrapped his arm around the girl, which surprised Janiah.

"You rap too?"

"No, I just play bass," she said shyly.

"She also writes some beautiful songs. Don't sell yourself short babe" the scarf guy said to her.

"That's awesome. You got a band?" Janiah asked her.

"No, I've been solo this whole time. A band would be cool but..."

"You should come to our random open mic nights," the scarf guy said to her. "We do it a few times a year, once a quarter really. We set up lights and chairs and a Soundsystem out back and just let people go for it. Glow, the bar a few doors down does karaoke and open mic nights too."

"Sorry, what's your name? My name's Amethyst" the girl with the braids finally revealed as she reached out to shake her hand.

"Amethyst? Like the crystal? That's beautiful, my name's Janiah."

"That's beautiful too," Amethyst said to her. "This is my boyfriend, Henri," she said as she poked Scarf Guy in the side. Janiah looked at him in surprise. "That's Rafael, he's a friend of his," she said nodding her head to the guy in white that was playing hacky sack with Henri.

"He's our roommate babe" Henri added.

"And these nosey fools are Billy, Daisy, Teddy & Warren," she said as she gestured to the regulars.

"I'm not nosey, thanks to me, we discovered a new talent" Warren, the regular who she finally proved wrong said. 

However, she had to hear him say it. "Yeah, what's that shit you were saying about girl drummers being no good?"

"You're an exception girl. You're definitely an exception" Warren said as he looked at her with newfound respect.

Janiah smiled, being respected was something she craved, especially about her rap and drumming skills.

*

A peaceful, calm, and harmonious environment is essential to young Aquarius because he or she is so sensitive to underlying tensions.

*

The respect Janiah felt when she had to leave the record store would make Aretha Franklin proud. But once she got to work at the strip club that all faded away. Her boss was on his usual bullshit and sexual harassment and all she wanted to do was leave. 

She thought that since she loved music and dancing so much that stripping would be a breeze. But since being respected above all else was something she craved, it wasn't very breezy at all. She needed more than good music, twerking to her favorite songs and sneaking alcohol to get through the night.

Also, Mr. Fedora never came back after he disappeared. He was probably married and was caught in a place where he shouldn't have been on vacation. Figures. If anyone wore a fedora she would break her neck to see if they looked like him but they didn't. They never did.

Janiah slid down the pole as the headliner for the night did floor tricks in front of her. She was on auto-pilot, just going through the motions when something made her crash back down into reality. 

No, it couldn't be.

She froze after she squatted down on the floor about to do a pole trick. Unfortunately, she could recognize those blue eyes anywhere. 

The blue eyes she fell in love with...

*

Young Aquarius often looks more confident than he or she is so parental understanding and genuine encouragement are needed.

*

Janiah Renee (she refuses to use her last name) has a story out of a movie. Born to rich parents in Houston, Texas, and the middle of 5 children, like Nadia, Janiah's life was perfect - but only on the outside. The Peterson family had a lot of money, all the children were talented and popular, and beautiful. Every year, the family would spend a week in their beach house in Bermuda over summer break. 

Janiah was the shy and quiet one out of the children, if you can believe it, she felt like the oddball, the lonely shadow. The poster child of the middle child. After all, she was a girly girl who had an interest in drums because of a crush. He never gave her the time of day, but she became very talented at it. Well, until she became line captain of their drumline her senior year. He took her to prom but the more they spent time together, the dreamy guy that she thought he was disappeared and she realized he wasn't such a dream or even a catch after all.

For a second, she thought she might have ruined her own life. She knew nothing about percussion when she joined the drumline but wanting to impress him and have the guys respect her soon became her mission. They started her out on cymbals as she practiced learning how to drum. Good thing she was a fast learner. Soon she was "one of the guys" and all of them had a crush on her, but not the guy she wanted. She would have been on the dance and cheerleading squad and possibly the fashion and cosmetology club if she didn't sign up for the marching band.

Her life would have taken a much different turn if she didn't follow him around.

Maybe her parents would be proud of her. They expected her to be a cheerleader or dancer who was into fashion and cosmetology like her older sister, and a straight-A valedictorian who graduated with Honors, like her older brother. She was none of those.

They judged everything she did. 

99% of her friends were boys, which pissed her father off, and that convinced her parents that she was fast, when in fact, she was a virgin when she graduated high school. She was saving herself for her crush, but then he disappointed her and she was glad she didn't. She and her friends had always talked about starting a rap group, but it never went anywhere past freestyle battles in parking lots and house parties.

She was mostly a straight B student, getting more C's her senior year because she was so busy leading the drumline and had 'senioritis', but she still tried her best. Her parents were convinced that she was lazy and chose to be 'average' because it was 'easier', when in fact, her grades weren't that bad and after some work with the school's guidance counselor, she learned that she was dyslexic and excelled for a student with that learning disability. 

Her parents didn't 'believe' in disabilities. Any problem you had would instantly be solved through prayer or hard work. You could pray and work hard all you wanted but that wasn't a cure for dyslexia. They believed she didn't pray or work hard enough because she was a heathen who hated church and she expected things to be handed to her because they were rich, which in fact, wasn't true. She hated going to church because their pastor was the heathen, he touched her inappropriately during Vacation Bible School when she was 16, and she refused to go to church ever again. She requested her after-school job let her work on Sunday mornings just so she wouldn't have to.

It didn't help that she was 6 feet tall by the time she was 16 and 'developed' early. She was thicker than her sister and her mother and they both judged how she dressed. Everything was too tight or too short, when in fact, she was too tall and thick for all the clothes she liked. Blame the sizing industry, not her.

She felt she would never be good enough.

The summer after she graduated high school, the family came to Bermuda and she and her two older siblings went bar hopping in the City of Hamilton. Janiah felt great finally being able to come along. That's when she met Javier, one of the most beautiful men she has ever seen. He was straight-up Bermudian, light-skinned with the bluest eyes she had ever seen, and had a Bermudian dialect one would die for. A lot of the Black population had blue eyes which foreigners found 'exotic'. 

It started with a dance, drinks and then they spent every waking moment together. However, Javier came from a poor family and her parents didn't approve. Janiah was supposed to attend Howard, as her older brother, mother, and father did. They also would have accepted Spelman, the all-female HBCU in Atlanta, where her older sister was accepted. She was accepted into both but wasn't interested as well as FAMU (Florida A&M University, which had one of the best marching bands and drumlines out of all the American HBCUs). College was never in her plans, she wanted to take a year off to figure out what she wanted to do. Even more so, she was so in love with Javier, she lost her virginity to him and they even talked about marriage. She felt her hesitation on going to school was God telling her that better things, or people, were coming.

The two confronted her parents an hour before the family was going back to Houston. It ended badly. Her father called Javier names, pushing him out of the house while the maids held Janiah hostage in her room and then threw her into the family SUV and sent her on her way. 

Her parents even went as far as shutting off all of her cards so she couldn't afford to go anywhere or disobey them. Janiah promised Javier she would come back. She obediently went to school at Spelman for a year but she yearned for Javier and couldn't enjoy it like she wanted to. She got a job and saved up every penny and then she wrote her family an email saying she was dropping out, how much they ruined her life, and how she wasn't coming back. Ever. 

"I'm going back to the man I love, who loves and accepts me more than you ever have. Javier.' 

She packed up everything and got on the first plane to Bermuda instead of going back to Houston. 

However, the longer it took Janiah to get back, the less Javier trusted that she would. Janiah kept herself busy by joining the band, the dance team, the fashion squad, and any club she had time for to take her mind off of how much she missed him. Soon their conversations went from whispering sweet nothing's to Javier not believing anything she said. 

"Javier, I am coming back-"

"You said that last summer! You said you were dropping out after Christmas and coming straight here. But no, you're on your way to a Valentine's Day dance with another man?"

"For the thousandth time, he's gay!"

"His Instagram doesn't look very gay to me. He's always surrounded by women, including you-"

"Because he's gay!" she repeated.

Soon their daily video chats went from a few times a week, to once a week, to mostly texting, and then both of them not texting back immediately. For her, it was to avoid a fight or she was just busy working her ass off so she could get back to him. 

Days before her trip back, she called him several times a day and he never answered. He barely answered her texts. She almost didn't get on the damn plane but she loved him. She felt that once she saw him in person, everything would be ok again. He blamed all of their arguments on how much he missed her. Now finally, he didn't have to.

When she landed back in Bermuda, instead of open arms, Javier had already found someone else. Heartbroken, she considered going home but her parents never responded, never called. She didn't want to go back to them. She didn't feel like they were her family at all. Her sister reached out to her, drunk and upset, and confirmed that no one in the family supported her and why did she have to make everything so difficult. When she asked her why her parents didn't respond she said, "You're basically dead to them. You disobeyed them. You dropped out of the school they paid for. They don't want to talk to you. No one does but I do, not because I miss you but because you're making a huge mistake. You know nothing about this boy and he's going to break your heart. Daddy's right. You know he is. You'll see."

So she dropped her last name. She didn't want to be a Peterson anymore, they didn't respect her, miss her, encourage her, love her, and worst of all, they never respected her.

However, she and Javier planned to stay with his parents and then get their own place but she was homeless. After only 3 months, her money ran out, she couldn't stay in hotels. She was living out of cars, and a couple of shelters, and now she was living in a storage space which was very illegal but she had no choice. She sold everything she had, even her precious hot pink drum set, so she could move here. She cried herself to sleep every night because Javier moved on and her Dad and her sister were right about him. She hated it.

The fastest way to get money was to strip. Where else can you work and bring home a duffel bag full of money without selling drugs? She finally had enough to move to Historic Pointe, but alas she was on the waiting list. That was the only reason why she worked here.

That last thought made her wake up from her flashback, she blinked her eyes and there he was. Javier was in the front row, seated next to a dark-skinned girl with the longest dreads she's ever seen. He was still with her?

"Girl what is wrong with you?" she heard someone say and she turned to her left. The other backup dancer for the headliner was speaking to her and looking at her weirdly as she twerked. The headliner kept looking back at them wondering what the hell was going on. 

However, she looked back at Javier and then back at her and then said, "I can't do this." She got off the stage as fast as she could. She ran back to the closest bathroom as fast as her stripper heels would let her. She ran into a stall and locked herself in. She collapsed on the toilet seat lid and started to cry. Luckily, all the women in the bathroom and the loud music drowned her out.

She hoped.

"EVERYONE OUT! BATHROOM'S CLOSED! USE THE OTHER WOMEN'S RESTROOM BY THE BAR" she heard her boss shout as he came in. She sighed, goddamn it. As the last few women left, he walked in front of the stall she was in and banged on the door, "NEW GIRL! GET OUTTA THERE RIGHT NOW AND GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THAT STAGE!"

"I don't feel good," she said as she wiped her tears.

"I don't wanna hear that shit-"

"CAN'T A GIRL TAKE A SHIT IN PEACE!" she screamed at him. All of the stress she has endured ever since she moved to Bermuda comes out of her. She just wanted to be left the FUCK ALONE!

"WHAT I TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH NEW GIRL!? FOR EVERY MINUTE YOU'RE IN THIS FUCKING BATHROOM, THAT'S MONEY BEING DEDUCTED FROM YOUR CHECK!" he shouted at her. Then the stall door slammed open, and he smirked at her, thinking that threatening to take her money made her wise up.

"I QUIT!" she shouted at him and stalked out of the bathroom. She walked down the hallway back to the girl's locker rooms as he followed her, screaming at her.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU QUIT!? ARE YOU INSANE!? YOU CAN'T JUST QUIT! I NEED EVERY BITCH IN THIS LOCKER ROOM OUT THERE MAKING MY MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!"

"You said so yourself, there are thousands of girls that wanna take my place. Call one of them. I quit! This shit is beneath me" she said as she threw on some joggers, kicked off her stripper heels, and put them in the bag along with everything else in her locker. She put on her sneakers and argued with him to the back door.

"YOU'LL REGRET THIS! AND DON'T YOU COME BACK EITHER!" he said and slammed the door behind her. She stomped off in anger and then paused. Since she left the performance early, all the money on that stage was going to the headliner and the other backup dancer.

"Shit," she said. She wiped her tears as soon as they started falling again and walked up the alley toward the front of the club. It started to rain and she threw a hoodie over her head. Besides the long extensions, this was all of her real hair and she wasn't getting this shit wet.

"Janiah!?" a voice called as she turned the corner once she reached the main sidewalk. She stopped in her tracks. "Janiah, it's me."

She wanted to just keep walking, to ignore him, but she couldn't. She's been waiting a LONG TIME for him to say her name again. She turned to him and his blue eyes widened when he saw her. Great, he probably pitied her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her.

"Really? What am I doing here? I moved here because I LOVED YOU, Javier. Oh wait, I forgot that YOU FORGOT so quickly."

"I forgot!? I got to the airport and you weren't there!"

"What do you mean I wasn't there!? You weren't there! I waited for an hour for you and then..."

"I waited and waited and waited for you, even though you were on the last flight. I was one of the last people to leave that airport that day-"

"I switched flights idiot! Do you listen to voicemails anymore or do you just ignore mine? They paid me an extra $500 to fly out the next day and I took it."

Javier sighed, "Remember when I told you that I dropped my phone in the fucking ocean-"

"Yeah yeah yeah go ahead with the excuses. That doesn't explain how I saw you and my replacement, who is inside right now, getting pretty close downtown only hours after I landed."

"What?"

"Don't do that. Don't stall. You heard what I said. When were you going to tell me that you had been cheating on me the whole time you were waiting for me?"

"Where the hell did you see us where we were getting 'pretty close'? You sure it was us?"

"It was at OUR FAVORITE COFFEE SHOP! IN HAMILTON! You both were sitting outside on the terrace, hugging and shit and she kisses your fucking forehead and my HEART BROKE, JAVIER!"

He looked down at the ground and shook his head. He then chuckled wryly. She put her hands on her hips, nothing about this was funny and it was starting to rain harder. She sighed and then walked away, that's what she thought. "She was just a friend then" he finally said and she stopped. "She was comforting me about you. I called her upset because I thought you stood me up and I couldn't reach you. She came right away. She was just a friend then, Janiah, I swear."

"And what is she to you now? She didn't see you as a friend then obviously."

"I understand how it looked and I didn't know she had feelings for me. Then you blocked me on everything-"

"Are you with her? Do you love her?" she asked as she turned back to him. 

She wished she didn't ask him that. His answer? "We're engaged, Janiah."

She never ran so fast from anyone. She was never in such a panic over something like this before. She couldn't think and when she approached a liquor store, she bought another bottle to go with the bottle she swiped from behind the bar. She was soaked and drunk by the time a taxi was able to pick her up. Weekends on the Strip will have you waiting for 45 minutes, or maybe even an hour for a taxi. Cruise ships docked here and this was the first street in Bermuda that you saw once you got off and the thousands of people on those boats alone needed a ride somewhere. 

The taxi driver rolled his eyes when he noticed that she was soaking and dripping all over his backseat and smelled of liquor. "Where to?" he asked shortly. 

She almost said the address to her storage unit but then she changed her mind. "2020 Mariposa Avenue, Eastside," she said. 

A half-hour later, the taxi driver dropped her off at the driveway behind a huge beach house. It was raining hard now. He pulled out as fast as he could so he could get back to the Strip where the money was. She ran to the back door and peered inside. The whole house was dark. She fumbled in her bag and found a ring of keys. She tried her key in the lock but the locks were changed. She laughed in frustration, "Are you fucking kidding me!?"

She jiggled the door angrily and then in her drunken stupor, she punched the glass window. Her bleeding hands then reached in and unlocked the door and she quickly walked in and closed the door behind her. The broken glass crunched beneath her feet as she walked down the small hallway that led to the laundry room and then to the kitchen. She looked around in shock. Her soaking-wet sneakers squeaked as she went upstairs and she opened the second door on the right.

She sighed with relief when she walked in. She dropped her bags on the floor and went into the bathroom without bothering to turn on any lights, she knew this place like the back of her hand. She couldn't find a first aid kit anywhere. She sighed and went through her bag and found a t-shirt. She ripped off the sleeves and made herself a makeshift bandage for her hand. She tiredly wrapped her wet tangled hair in a towel after she stripped naked and collapsed in bed.

She missed being home.

*

Like any child, Aquarius needs love, especially in the form of respect, listening, appreciation, and friendship.

*

*lyrics were written by Megan Thee Stallion (Fire In The Booth Part 1)

https://youtu.be/he3DJLXbebI