Chapter 54
Capricorn
Chapter 54
Water Element's Positive/Negative Effects -
Chinese Astrology Water Signs (Rat, Ox, Pig)
* artistic/illogical
* expressive/fearful
* nurturing/stressed
* sensitive/nervous
* sympathetic/subjective
* gentle/manipulative
* flexible/passive
*
Not too long after, the storm had passed but left chaos in all five boroughs. It left humidity and no power. It helped fix one disaster, and the heavy rain helped put out the electrical fire it caused on the roof of a building across town. Luckily; luckily it was an office building, and everyone had already gone home. The Empire State Building has been struck by lightning countless times. The City spent years making it lightning-proof. The firefighters that helped take care of the rest were all heroes.
Hopefully, for more than one night.
A lot of bad things can happen in the dark. It was like the Purge movie. A riot even. Objects were being thrown to break glass windows so people could get in and take what they needed. Some stores were hip to it and had burglar-proofed windows or workers brave enough to hide inside to see who would break the law. That didn't last long, though. No one was dying over a smart tv.
The streets were just as chaotic, and some parts looked like a set in an Avengers movie. Crashed cars, people screaming, and people trying to run or get to where they were initially heading. It was very wet out, and the technology they depended on struggled like they were.
Adena stared into the darkness and continued to eat her ice cream. She felt helpless. Taye had gotten her home just in time. If not, she would have been on the subway. "Those poor people..."
"They'll be alright," Taye said. "If they're smart."
"The ones on the subway. I could have been stuck there if you didn't get a taxi here." They were lucky and had great timing. A lot of people weren't so fortunate. "Oh! Lulu! They were probably still driving. What if they crashed?"
"Dena, don't worry yourself-" Taye said but stopped when he saw her texting at a pace so fast he was honestly surprised.
"I can't call anyone, and I don't know if my texts are going through."
"You tried, but you can't worry about them right now. There's nothing we can do. Besides, you need to save as much battery as possible, just in case this takes longer than we anticipate," he said to her. He had been through a blackout before. He was young, though. Luckily they were all home too. A few of his friends were overplaying video games, so the blackout ruined that. They made the best of it by telling scary stories like they were camping. He remembered his mom making it bearable for them. When it happened, he never thought about what was going through her mind as an adult, alone with three kids.
"I can't just sit here," Adena said, getting worried, imagining the worst-case scenario: the taxi Dave and Lulu were in crashing, catching fire, and none survived. "I feel like a rich person on the Titanic. Sitting safe in a lifeboat while people freeze to death around me."
"As long as you weren't one of those dumbasses playing violins and sank with the ship," he scoffed. He hated that movie. It was 3 hours of torture. He wasn't into those movies with random love storylines that would never happen in real life. "Just don't think about it, Dena. You'll get yourself worked up. You're safer here. The baby is safer here. We're all safe here," he said as calmly as he could. Adena rarely freaked out during crises. She was always getting things done to fix whatever it was immediately. He looked at her. Marriage changed her, divorce changed her, and this baby was changing her.
She put down the empty takeout dish and walked toward the window. Soon her silhouette was glowing while the moonlight was spotlighting her. He couldn't help but stare. He felt like they were on a set, and she was the damsel in one of those black-and-white film noir movies. He didn't know how long he was in the trance when Adena snapped him out of it, "Taye, are you asleep?!"
"No, sorry, I'm here," he said as he blinked his eyes. Instead of the dreamy, moonlit angel he fantasized about, soon a teary-eyed and scared soon-to-be mom replaced her as she paced back and forth in front of the window. "Dena-"
"I don't know if I can do this," she said as tears rolled down her face.
"Dena, do what?-"
"All of it! Everything. Every word I just said," she said as she stopped pacing. "Never mind, you weren't listening-"
"No, no, I heard. I'm just trying to keep up with you. Adena, you can do anything. You're one of the strongest people I know," he said to her sincerely, but he still didn't know what the hell they were talking about.
"I can't be good at everything," Adena said in despair, and he was grasping at straws, trying to figure out the conversation he just missed. "I am nowhere near prepared to be a mother! I'd be freaking out in the dark if the baby were here now—no candles, no lighter, no cooler. I have to think for two people now!" she said. "And what if I were on the subway? Stuck underground in a subway train, no less for who knows how long. The baby wouldn't be able to breathe!"
"Dena, where is all this coming from?"
"Now, here, right now!"
"You're thinking of all the worst-case scenarios, and I know at the very moment, you'll know exactly what to do. We won't know what'll happen. Stop thinking if's. Adena, I used to repeat this time and time, and I still believe it, you're going to be the best mother and the most beautiful. Ever." Unfortunately, he wasn't around to tell her that anymore. DJ Boy was gone too.
Then he understood.
Once he told her that, she covered her face with her hands and cried. He adjusted the towel around his waist and was at her side in less than a second. He held her close, and she didn't push him away this time. "Shh. Shh. You're going to do fine," he said repeatedly. Then he heard her wince and held her stomach. "What's wrong?"
"Cramps," she said to him.
"Your heart rate is fast," he said as he held her wrist. "Come on, sit down." Due to the cramps, she didn't fight him. He read up on this. Pregnancy paranoia. It was normal unless the fear became too powerful to bear, sometimes causing panic attacks. He had quite a few this year, right before he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. "We gotta slow your heart rate, and you can't stress out. It-"
"I know it will be bad for the baby," Adena told him.
"It'll be bad for you too."
"Everything is bad for both of us. That's why I can't do this," she said. He helped her lie down on the leather couch. He sat on the floor facing her while she lay on the sofa. He ran his fingers gently up and down her arms, trying to calm her, whispering and reminding her of what they learned in class.
Just breathe.
Soon her cries turned into sniffles, tears drying, and instead of gasping for air, she sighed. "Just rest. You're tired," he said and then paused. "It's Donatella, isn't it? She's working you to the bone. She doesn't know you're pregnant?! Or she doesn't care-"
"It's not Donatella," Adena said quietly, trying to breathe normally while dealing with the cramps simultaneously. "She's worried about me. She's threatened to put me on leave again if I don't start slowing down."
"Wow," Taye said. "She's right, though. Working so hard has tired you so much that you're anxious and paranoid. She must be getting some. Why is she making sense and being nice?"
Adena let out a small laugh. "You know, I think so too. She almost didn't come back from Paris, and she's always smiling while on her phone, blinds closed. Longer lunches. Leaving early."
"Wow, the ice queen is thawing," he said. He sighed; he remembered the days when all they argued about was how she worked so much. That was the only problem. He would get home at 5. She at 7, sometimes 8, though she left slightly earlier than he did. She only had an hour or maybe 2 to relax before she wanted to pass out because she had to do it again the next day. She had no time for him. He was clingy as hell.
What happened?
Taye sighed as he rubbed her arms again. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered to her. However, he kept repeating it over and over. She realized he wasn't just sorry that she was stressed out. He was sorry about everything. She laid still and breathed as he poured his heart out to her. Now they switched places. Now she was in another world and barely listening. "...You hear me? Adena? Dena-"
Adena winced at another cramp. "Yes." However, when she looked at his face, he looked at her like she had three heads. "What?"
"Either you just made me the happiest man in the world, or you weren't listening to a word I said," Taye chuckled.
"I'm sorry, these cramps are annoying-"
"I know- but you won't have to worry anymore. I'll do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, in this world to make all the pain I've caused go away. I love you, Dena. I fucked up. Everything you did in retaliation, I forgive you. I hurt you. I should have expected it, and I should've known better. I did know better but didn't do it. I don't care if you hate me. That doesn't change my feelings for you. I'll wait as long as it takes and work as hard as it takes. I'm still in love with you, Adena Brielle Capricorn." She looked at him with wide eyes. Tears filled them again. She sat up and wiped her face. The next thing she knew, her legs were draped over his lap, and he sat beside her like they used to. "So that's why I asked will you make me the happiest man in the world, in the middle of all this literal chaos- if you wouldn't mind trying again, we'll go as slow as you want. Then you said 'Yes.'"
*
According to Chinese Astrology, Capricorns born under the sign of the Dog have a strict sense of duty and responsibility and are very moralistic. They take those things seriously.
*
Taye grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it. She was doing it again, cracking those damn knuckles, so he massaged it. Now she was staring at him like he had three heads. While she tried to comprehend, Taye grabbed her other hand and massaged it. Then he kissed both of her hands. He knew her weaknesses and was using all of them against her. He moved her long hair out of her face. It was still pitch black and dark, but the candles made his sex pack glow.
Do you mean SIX pack??
He moved her hair off the other side of her face, tucked it behind her ear, and caressed her cheek. He moved in closer. "You're in shock. I know. You don't have to answer now. Like I said, I'll wait as long as it takes. I want the chance to make it all up to you and then some. I'll do it. Seriously, no questions asked." She closed her eyes, looking into his, and hearing this made her feel like she was dizzy, or was she dizzy?
She could feel it. She didn't have to open her eyes because she knew it was coming. She felt him getting closer until she felt his lips on hers. When was the last time she was kissed? When was the last time they kissed? For some reason, her body went back into autopilot and returned it, getting lost in his fantasy right along with him. He then continued to talk in between kisses.
"Remember? This time? Last year? We were on the beach? You remember? Saying that I made you the happiest girl in the world? And you just? Wanted peace?" he said between kissing her, and soon those kisses were on her face. Chin, cheek, temple, then her ear. Then slowly kissing along her neck. "I'll give you that. I'll take you back there. You want to go back?"
She felt weak when a small voice in her head asked, WHY? Hell, if she knew. His kisses on the most sensitive part of her neck put her under a spell. She felt like he was the vampire, and she was the confused damsel who somehow couldn't resist him.
The small voice warned that maybe because he is draining the LIFE out of you.
Look, she was stressed out. She could let herself have this. This was probably a weird pregnancy dream she'll wake up from anyway because it felt surreal.
He whispered between kisses as he kissed down and across her collarbone. Then her shoulder. All while holding her hands. She forgot all the pain she was feeling, physical, emotional, and mental. Then he whispered, "Even though the baby isn't mine. I'll love them just the same."
Then the soul that had left her body fell back in. She woke up from the dream she thought she was in, crashing back into reality. The physical pain came back, another cramp. The emotional pain came back, remembering how this all started with a lipstick stain and every twist and turn that came with it. The mental pain came back because who was he fooling? She was still alone in this.
All alone.
"What?" she said as she pulled away from him and let go of his hands. "What did you say?"
"I don't know, what was the last thing you heard?" he said as he massaged her hand and kissed it again.
The power was out, which meant the air conditioning wasn't working. "It's hot in here. You're not hot?"
"You alright?" he asked as she struggled to escape him. He helped her by standing up and readjusting the towel around his waist.
"Am I alright? No, I'm not alright!" she said to him as she got up. The moon was now shining through the windows well enough that they could move around the living room freely. She started to pace. "I'm feeling all of this BECAUSE OF YOU! I'm living alone in this expensive ass two-bedroom BECAUSE OF YOU! I don't have peace on a beach BECAUSE OF YOU! My best friend is no longer my best friend BECAUSE OF YOU! You're no longer my best friend, my husband, my confidante, my everything BECAUSE OF YOU! My heart has continued to break BECAUSE OF YOU! And you better get it through your thick ass fucking skull that I am PREGNANT BECAUSE OF YOU!!"
Taye let her yell so she could get it all out. All out. He was expecting it. He was prepared for it. As he said, he didn't care if she hated him. He still loved her. Her hurtful words weren't as strong as his love for her. He was going to do whatever it took. "These feelings, this heartbreak, all this anxiety is because you still love me! You can have me. We can be that family-"
"No, all these feelings, heartbreak, and anxiety result from you not loving me LIKE I DESERVED!" she said to him. "You knew better and still did it. Who does that?? Someone who doesn't care! That's who. And you know what? I may be alone and stressed out in this expensive ass two-bedroom, but I would rather be here where I am now instead of the place we both used to call home, stressed out with you! I can do bad all by myself! And if this is my version of bad," she said as she raised her hands. " I'm just fine with it. Moving on and moving on up on my own is my version of bad. I did that! Me! By myself!"
"Ok," he said calmly and nodded. Again he was prepared for this. He was letting her get it all out. However, it came off as flippant.
"Don't 'ok' me! I'm serious! This is serious! You caused some serious fucking damage, Taye! Listen, and believe me when I say we are never ever getting back together. Despite this baby being yours, I will never be. Never again. This baby is only yours by blood, and it'll never be yours either because you never believed me and still don't, so I'll do you a favor and say: you are off the hook. Live your life. Go live your life, but it won't have me in it. It won't have US in it. We three will never be family. Blood is not thicker than water in your case. Because that involves being LOYAL. I was the only LOYAL ONE. NOW I'M BEING LOYAL TO MYSELF!"
Taye sighed and sat down, knowing he'll be here for a minute.
"Oh, don't get comfortable. Get up!" He looked down at the floor, taking a deep breath. She then took off her sandal and threw it at his head. He jumped up.
"Look, Adena, I love you, but all this violence has gotta stop. You've slapped me countless times, and now-"
"Aww, so you're hurt? You seem to be doing just fine anyway. Yours is just physical. Mine is emotional and mental, and it has given me so many trust issues that I ran him off! Again, BECAUSE OF YOU!"
Taye paused and then looked at her. "What did you just say? You ran off who?"
"You know who. 'DJ Boy' to you."
"No, babe, you did all that by yourself, remember? You just screamed that at me, so which is it?"
"Is your baby yours or not yours because you just don't want it to be? Which is it? Ugh, it makes me sick when you act like an upstanding father in my Lamaze classes, but you don't care about the baby we're taking the class for! I'm sick of being your Billie Jean!"
"I will love MY flesh and blood. I will care about anyone with MY flesh and blood," he said to her. He wanted to clarify, "I'm sorry, I won't bring up the paternity ever again. I'll just have to trust you on this one."
"You'll say anything, talk around it all you want, but you know I'm right. You know I'm being honest. Just admit that I'm right!" she said to him. "Stop stalling, Maury; say it! YOU ARE THE FATHER!"
Taye took a deep breath and let it out. "I trust you," he said. He couldn't know she was right just yet because he still had doubts and couldn't ignore them.
"Say I'm right! Now you trust me? You only think I was running around on you because you were doing it to me. That never made sense to me-"
"No, you were literally running around town, partying it up with that psychopath. You were shacking up with him while we were still married. But I'll let that go."
"You fucked that bitch IN MY BED, you actually fucked my best friend IN MY BED while we were still married, but I'll let that go," she mocked him. He sighed. They stood there, across the room from each other, in silence. He hoped it was because she was done and would calm down. But she had one more thing to say:
"You know what? I wish this baby weren't yours either, but here we are. Let's both let this all go and live in delusion. Because for a while there, this baby was HIS. And you know what? I wish it were! Every single day!"
In a flash, Taye was on her side of the room. He grabbed her by both arms and wanted to shake the shit out of her, but when she winced and cringed back, he shook himself out of it.
"You're gonna hit me now?" she said in a dark tone. However, it came off as fearful. He stepped back from her and let her go. He was also afraid now because he was so close to doing it. Too close.
*
Famous Capricorn Dog: Elvis Presley (Singer); b. Jan. 8th, 1935
*
Missy paused as she tried to catch her breath. She thought she was hearing things. She soon realized she was right and wished she didn't hear it. A flashlight distracted her and made her come back to reality. She started walking. "Turn around," she said to Ron as he approached her.
"What? Why?"
"Just turn around-"
"Missy, you know how many stairs we had to climb because the elevators don't work? I'm not turning around until you tell me why I just wasted my literal time and energy-"
Missy pointed her flashlight down the hall. "Where is he?" she whispered.
Ron turned around, "He was just behind me-"
"Good, go. Turn around before he gets here and loses his shit."
"Wait, because she's actually in there, isn't she-"
"And not alone, and not only that, she's with HIM." Ron stared at her in shock. "Don't ask me why-"
The door to the emergency staircase opened, and Craig limped and dragged his body through, thankful that he made it without dying. He bent over and put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Soon, Missy and Ron were approaching him. "Wait, what's going on?"
"Just like we hoped," Missy said, "She ain't there."
"How do you know-"
"I went in and quickly searched, but she wasn't there. Thank God, she's probably with her parents," Missy made up quickly. What was Taye doing here anyway? When did he start coming around? She's slowly been staying with Ron again, not disturbing Adena when she returns from the bar drunk. It's only been a couple of days.
Craig groaned in pain when he realized they climbed dozens of staircases for nothing. He took a deep breath, then that feeling was replaced with relief. "So that means she's ok?"
"Yep, let's go," Missy said as she and Ron walked back down the stairs.
"Wait, are you serious?" Craig asked as he followed them through the door and stood atop the staircase. "Guys, seriously?"
"She's not here-"
"I heard that, but you guys aren't hearing me not being able to breathe."
"The faster we get down, the faster we'll be back outside where we can get fresh air," Ron said as he followed Missy down, praying he would give in.
"No," he said, and they both stopped. He closed the door leading down the hallways, slumped down, and sat on the steps. "If I try to go down those stairs now, I'm gonna fall and keep falling." Missy and Ron paused. They had to get the fuck out of dodge, though. "5 minutes, please," he said as he leaned his head against the cemented wall. They walked up, and they sat a few steps below him.
"You need to go to the gym," Ron told him.
"DJing is a workout all on its own," Craig said as he removed his shirt and wiped his face with it, trying to catch his breath. A few minutes later, he lit a blunt from his pocket.
"Yeah, that'll help. I thought you couldn't breathe," Missy snorted.
"I need motivation to move because I will sleep the fuck right here," Craig said.
"She's right," Ron said, and Craig only shrugged. "You gonna hog it, or you gonna pass it?"
Craig started coughing, trying not to laugh. The two guys laughed, and Missy shook her head. Shit, she might as well have some too. It was going to be a long walk back. But first...
"Ok, come on, it's been 5 minutes. Adena is not here, which has to mean she's safe. She's on Long Island or at work," Missy said as she got up.
"But you said she had a Lamaze class today, remember? Maybe we need to go there. Maybe she never left," Craig said as his strength came back. Just because she wasn't here didn't mean she was ok. It just left him with more questions.
"Craig, we tried calling her, we tried texting her, we ran across town, almost had a tv thrown at us, then had to climb 20 flights of stairs to find she's not here. We're no good to her if we die trying to find her. It's a fucking blackout. We gotta wait until morning and hope and pray in the meantime," Ron said, then he inhaled and exhaled with a sigh.
"Fine, you guys head back. I'll go check."
"We can't just leave you, Craig. It's a fucking blackout," Missy said. "You could get hurt."
Then they were interrupted by someone running up and down the hallway, banging on doors. "HELP! HELP! WE NEED A DOCTOR, PLEASE!"
*
Following the Dog, the next and last animal sign in the Chinese Zodiac is the Pig. They are associated with fertility and a strong sex drive. Having children in the Year of the Pig is considered very lucky. They will most likely be happy and honest.
*
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