Capricorn
Chapter 17

Dislikes
* new ideas
* loneliness
* being made to feel useless
* being embarrassed in public

*

Craig blinked his eyes several times once he opened the door. He was expecting his food but he got something better. At least he thought so, for a second. Once he realized it was actually her, he realized that she was crying and had been for who knows how long. "Adena, what's wrong? What happened??" he asked her, opening his door wider so she could come in.

However, she didn't move. She stood there shaking, he was hoping it was just from the cold, freezing weather and not something more traumatic. She's been through enough already. Her teeth were chattering. "I'm...I'm..." she stuttered. He waited as patiently as he could but his face probably didn't convey that. He probably looked like a deer in headlights.

Or how she exactly looked maybe less than a half hour ago.

"I'm sorry..." she said as tears fell down her face. She dropped a plastic bag that she was holding and put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry...I'm...I can't...I-"

He pulled her toward him and held her close. This was the closest they had ever been probably...well besides the time he had to carry her out of the Uber yesterday. She was freezing. "It's ok. It's ok. It's all ok. I got you" he said as she started to cry. What the fuck happened to her? "What did he do?" he asked her. She must've gone home. To him. Her husband. Her crazy ass ex-husband. "Huh? What did he do? Did he hurt you?" he asked as he stepped back from her. She couldn't exactly answer him because she buried her head back in his chest. "What's his name? Tom? Tony? Did he say something? Did he touch you?" he asked her urgently. He looked at her face, it was wet and cold but he didn't see anything else that indicated any sort of domestic altercation.

All she did was shake her head no. But he needed more than that. Ok. What didn't happen? Did he not say something? He didn't touch her? He didn't do anything? Was his name not Tim or whatever his name was?

"Here come on, let's close the door," he said. He picked up the bag and closed and locked the door behind them. Adena just stood there, shaking, her head in her hands. She was starting to scare him. She wasn't just sad or heartbroken. Something else happened. "Adena," he said calmly. "What can I do?" he asked her. His "fix this now" part of his brain was in overdrive. He had to do something to make them both feel better but especially her.

"They all...they all just...tolerate me..." she said sadly. "But you don't?" she asked as she looked up at him.

"Of course not. I love...having you here—"

"It's cold...I gotta use the bathroom" she said as she tossed her purse on his couch and walked quickly away from him to his room.

He stood there helplessly as he watched her. He took a few deep breaths. Wondering if he should make her stay here and let him handle it, handle him. Terry. He wanted to fuck with somebody? He needed to fuck with someone his own size. Like a man. He shook his head. Nah, he's gotta chill. He went over to the fireplace and checked it. He walked into the kitchen and found a lighter and got a paper towel. He set the paper towel on fire and tossed it in the fire. He then closed the small chained curtain or whatever the hell you call it and watched the flames grow. If Adena was freezing, he would give her a sauna. If she felt tolerated, whatever that meant, he would make her feel accepted, no matter what.

Then a loud knocking broke the silence. He turned around to the door. Did Tron follow her here? He looked through the peephole and sighed. He chuckled and opened the door. "Just in time," he said as he dapped the delivery guy up and handed him some cash. He shook his head and closed the door. He looked through the bag, loving the warm smell. He wondered if Adena liked Thai food. "Hey Adena? You wanna eat?" he asked. Another knock came, he smiled and opened the door. "Just in time my man," he said happily as he dapped him up and handed them some cash. He smiled as he took a box of Crown Royal whiskey out of the bag. He knew Adena didn't drink like that but maybe she needed some. It would warm her up and maybe loosen her up so she could relax. "Adena? You wanna drink? I can mix it you know...to make it sweet" he called out. No answer.

He sighed, he was going to let her have her space. When she was ready to talk he'd be here. He took the bottle out of the box and poured himself a shot. "Ahhh," he said as he felt the warm liquid fill him up.

Another knock came at the door and now he felt even happier. "Blaaaaack, my boy," he said as he dapped up his friend. He looked behind him to see if Adena came out yet. He took out his phone, paid him with Cash App, dapped him up again, and just like that he was gone. He was tempted to call for Adena again but he needed to give her her space.

Don't smother her. She obviously trusts you enough to help her if she came back here of all places. She could have gone to one of her girlfriends' places but she chose him. He was still wondering why. He opened the baggie and popped a gummy into his mouth.

Thai food, warm whiskey, and edibles. The perfect trifecta for a snowy Sunday night...

*

Cancer can teach Capricorn how to sense other people's needs and feelings, and how to express his or her own emotions.

*

"So she ain't at her parent's place?!" Missy asked Kim. Missy was out at another club with some friends when Kim called her. Again it was about Adena's "disappearance". Supposedly Taye called her parents and told them everything that happened, which surprised her, only a REAL MAN would do that. Kim and Taye were freaking out even more and Kim was asking her if she had any updates. "Well no girl I haven't seen her, she hasn't called me or anything. She's probably hiding out with someone else."

"Not to be rude Missy, but who else can she run to? I mean who else does she know? I mean you know she only has us as close friends-"

"Well, I don't know Kim. I mean maybe she found a new man? Maybe she ran into an old friend we don't know about and is hiding out with them? Or a cousin? I don't know but obviously, she doesn't want any of us to know" Missy said to her.

"Well, that's rude! And dangerous! It's been 24 hours. We are thinking about calling the police" Kim said worriedly. She was sick of worrying herself sick about this.

"You watch too many true crime shows girl. You probably watching one right now, aren't you? Turn it off, it's making you overreact."

"First of all, I'm not," Kim said as she put 'The First 48' on pause. "But everyone knows about the first 48 hours. She could be dead somewhere!"

"Girl, we promised not to go that far. She's probably got Donatella lying for her. You think about that? None of us know where she lives."

Kim paused, "I mean you could be right..."

"So fuck the police Kim!" Missy said, "Girl it ain't that serious. She's fine. I know she is. She will show up. I mean it's the weekend. She's gonna pop up because she has to go to work tomorrow." Now Missy was slowly trying to convince herself. Every time she got a call now, her confidence dissipated more and more. They were freaking her out. "She could be in Jamaica for all we know," she said, trying to throw out any random place that could make sense. "Remember the other day when you asked if she could disappear to anywhere in the world where would she go? Adena said 'Jamaica'. It's crazy I know but it could be true at this point. Just calm down, wherever she is, she doesn't want us worrying about her" Missy said.

"Well if she does call you, call me, " Kim said sternly.

"Ok girl damn!-"

"No Missy, I'm serious. For some reason, you feel you have no time to worry about her right now. The clubs are more important?"

"I do care, I just ain't freaking out, and don't pull that reverse psychology bullshit on me. I'm not gonna stay at home and put my life on hold because Adena don't wanna be found. I'ma continue to live my life. Maybe you need to come to Brooklyn's with me, get a shot, smoke a joint, and calm the fuck down!"

"Ok..." Kim said as she took a breath. She triggered Missy and she didn't need that. No one needed that, especially if she's been drinking. "I'm sorry, let's reel it in-"

"You reel it in! I'm fine!" Missy said. "If you change your mind, we'll be at Brooklyn's. Don't call me unless you're coming. I'm not talking to you about Adena anymore. She's fine. She's gonna be fine!" She was worried, a little bit, but she had a feeling that wherever Adena was, she was ok. "I need a fucking drink girl," Missy said to Fee-Fee as soon as they hung up.

"I got a shot of Patron right here," Fee-Fee said to her.

"Yeah bitch! Thank you!" Missy said as she downed the shot like a pro. The DJ put on another song and she moved to the music. They both got on the floor and she started dancing with various guys, and girls too, she didn't discriminate. She'd been 'experimenting' since high school. Her phone vibrated a few times and she pulled it out to see what calls she missed. She sighed. Fuck. Adena's mother was calling her now. "Your man ain't playing enough Biggie for me, come on, " Missy said as she dragged Fee-Fee towards the DJ booth to her new boo.

*

Though Cancer's the complementary opposite sign for Capricorn, relationships can still be difficult.

*

Adena pulled herself together and then finally came out of the bathroom. She tried to look as normal and calm as she could as she walked into the living room. Craig was sitting on the couch, sitting in front of the lit fireplace, listening to house music, eating his Thai food, and drinking a glass of brown liquor. Adena tried to not look at that too hard. She didn't want to get sick. That hangover paired with her cold was pretty bad. "Hey."

"Hey..." Craig smiled at her lazily. "You should eat. You wanna eat?"

"I mean I don't want to eat your -"

"Adena, I'm offering it, it's fine."

"Ok," she said, not arguing with him. He got up and walked into the kitchen and got an extra bowl and utensils. Whistling as he did so. Adena couldn't put her finger on it but something was different about him. Or maybe she was truly going crazy.

"You want some whiskey?" he called to her and as she turned back to face him, he winked at her.

She blushed and looked away. "I think I need to stay away from whiskey for a little while," she said as she faced the fireplace.

"Water ok then?" he asked and she nodded. He sat next to her and handed her the glass of water and bowl. He watched as she filled the bowl up partly with Thai noodles. "So...are you ok with talking about what happened? What he did?" he asked her. The gummy had him in a calmer mood already but he hoped he wasn't coming off too aggressive.

"What who did?" she asked him.

"Troy or whatever his name is."

Adena laughed, "First of all, his name is Taye," she said and Craig shrugged, he was going to forget it again anyway. "Second. I didn't even see him. I never made it home..."

"What happened?" he asked her. Why was she all shook up if she didn't see her ex?

Adena sighed and looked at the fire crackling. The aroma and the warmth felt so good after being outside in the cold for too long. "I had an epiphany...I guess" she said. "I just didn't feel comfortable going back to someone who tolerated me...I'm just realizing it. He's probably been doing it for a while."

"You said something about being tolerated. What do you mean?"

"I read somewhere, don't go to the people that just tolerate you, go to the ones that celebrate you."

Craig soon caught the epiphany as well. He chuckled. "Wow, that's deep...where you read that?"

"In a magazine...somewhere..." she lied. She didn't know that saying a mysterious girl in all white with a cardboard sign would help her case right now. "And it was all I could think about."

"Ok but what about your girlfriends? You said they've been trying to help you though right?"

"Yeah but it feels different now. I don't know if it makes me a bitch but I feel they're just tolerating me too. It's like Kim's life stopped as soon as my marriage did. All she does is worry about me. Missy is cool I guess but I don't know...I feel she pities me. She would be too strong to react like this in this situation. I feel kinda embarrassed."

"React like what?"

"Running away. Hiding" she said, "But that's all I know how to do right now. It's the only thing that makes me comfortable. I just...I don't want to talk about the worst thing that's happened in my life right now...or even for a while. I'm just tired of repeating it. It makes me feel like shit."

"You don't need to be embarrassed. You did nothing to fuck up your marriage. He did."

"But he cheated for a reason. It had to be me. I did something to drive him right towards her."

"That's what he wants you to think. He cheated because he's an asshole, a weak one at that. He made a commitment to you right? To never do what he did. He went back on his promise to you. You can't make anyone do anything like that honestly. It may feel like it. But he knew it was wrong and he let it happen. One time is enough."

"It was more than that...and that's what I was afraid of."

"Well, that's even worse. He continued to lie and manipulate you and just left you fending for yourself. Who knows what he's told this other woman? She might not even know he's married. She probably doesn't know anything about you, like you didn't know about her."

"What if she did?"

"She's just as bad as he is. But she followed his lead, he let her know it was ok for her to cross that line. Once a partner starts disrespecting the one they're supposed to love, that person on the side will join in. Why be on your side? He doesn't care about you. Let me talk my shit. She probably thinks it's your fault too. Again, that's what he wants you both to think."

Adena sighed. He made a point. "My head hurts," she said as she shook her head.

"You should eat. I got some ibuprofen-"

"I mean figuratively...everything hurts but my head hurts too."

"I'm sorry," he said as he reached out and held her hand. He noticed the diamond on her ring finger. As soon as he noticed, she did too. He took his hand back and scratched his head instead.

"I just wanna throw this ring in the fire," Adena said as she inspected the ring.

"Nah...I say pawn it and put that money down and get your own place. Better yet, kick his ass out and treat yourself."

"He's on the lease too. I don't know if he'll leave without a fight and I'm tired of fighting."

"Well whatever you do, do what makes YOU comfortable," he said to her. "I gotta say I'm honored you came back here of all places."

"I'm not intruding again am I?"

"Of course not, stay as long as you want."

"Your roommate won't like that."

"He won't care. As you can see he's barely here. He pays rent here just to sleep and do laundry."

Adena chuckled. Well, that kind of put her mind at ease. But she felt stuck in this awful limbo. What the hell was she supposed to do now? They ate in silence. When she finished, she put her bowl down and sighed. "Thank you."

"You like gummies?" he asked her.

"Who doesn't?" she said. He smiled and pulled out a small bag of Sour Patch Kids. She grabbed one and popped it into her mouth. She then frowned as she chewed and then swallowed. "Those taste funny."

"Well duh silly, they're edibles. But these actually have less of that weed taste, which I love-"

"Wait what?"Adena asked him, wide-eyed. The deer in headlights look was back.

Craig looked at her confused, he then gasped and started laughing. "Oh my god, you thought they were actual gummies?"

"Yes!" Adena said as she got up and paced in front of the fireplace. "They're friggin' Sour Patch Kid imposters! Oh my god, that's why you look different. You took one didn't you?"

"Yeah, wait you could tell?"

"Well, you just seemed more laid back. You got that lazy smile going on. Ohmygod."

"You've never had a gummy before huh?" he asked. She shook her head no. "Not even a brownie or a Rice Krispies Treat?"

"They have Rice Krispies Treats?"

"Girllll," he said and she laughed. "They have weed butter. It's its own food group now."

"Ohmygod-"

"Best thing to do is to not freak out. Ok? Come and sit down."

"Easy for you to say," she said. "Am I gonna jump out of a window?"

Craig laughed, "I won't let you. Hey, it might not affect you. It hits people differently, sometimes not at all."

"Well I hope that's what happens," she said as she downed her water and sat down. Maybe the water will dilute it?

"It takes a little while to set in," he said.

An hour later, all Adena felt was sleepy. Once she got used to it, she didn't feel so bad. She felt like she was floating. She leaned back on the couch and then put her head on his shoulder. He smiled lazily. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome." They sat there like that for a while.

Until the front door opened and Ron, Craig's roommate walked in. Adena jumped away from Craig and she sobered up almost immediately. "Ahhh I see our new patient is ok," Ron said and he gave Craig a look. They were looking pretty close there. He hoped he didn't ruin it. He didn't realize when he first saw her how fine she was. "Well don't let me disturb ya'll. The hospital beat my ass the past 48 hours so I'm gonna go pass out" he said and then he disappeared into his room.

Adena and Craig looked at each other and then started laughing.

*

Capricorns can be really shy and awkward with the opposite sex.

*

https://youtu.be/wJlNPk_YVHA