Oh the pain it never goes away,
It reaches the locked away depths of my heart,
It stains my soul ,and everything pure,
In a way that can never be washed away,
It eats away at my heart ,
Making me insane.

Every time the stick meets my skin,
Pain shoots up my skin,
Pain cracks up my heart like glass,
The glass shards trail across my skin,
It pierces my heart.
Tell me mom should I need a heart disease ?
For you break my heart into a thousand pieces ,
Into fine powder,

Pain..It cuts into my feelings,
Thaws at my emotions,
Leaves me bare and naked .

When you hurt me,
You don't know what you do to me,
When you insult me ,
My self confidence burnt to Ashes?
When you hit me ,
You say it's for the greater good,
Tell me is it doing me any good?
For what can I do ,
When my skin is torn ,
And I'm bleeding emotions &pain?
When my limbs are lumpy ,
And I can barely walk?
Because of all the hits it took.

You say I'm the clay and you are the potter,
But do you know that when you roll the clay too much it slips?
That when you burn it too much ,
It breaks?
That when you leave it from a height or beat it too much ,
It breaks like a fragile thing?
Did you know that it was my mind , my soul , my heart and not your clay pot?

I don't want to be your clay pot mom,
I don't to be your pathetic, burnt and broken one either ,
The one that fails you,
But did you know that I had emotions once?
That I loved you once upon a time?
Like everyone did love theirs,
Did you know that I had my ambitions once? My life?

I don't want to be your puppet mom,
I don't want to reach your ambitions,
I don't to be the clay pot that reaches your ambitions ;
Not mine,
Your wishes;
Not mine,
Your respect ;
Not mine,
Your dignity ;
Nit mine,
Your value ;
Not mine,
your limits ;
Not mine,

Why stop at touching the sky,
When you can touch the sun,mom?

Say is this your life or mine?
Is this your mind or Mine?
I had always believed you ,
Should that mean, I should I now?
Now that I have known you.

Every time you hit me ,
I feel the pain ,
At first like hot embers,
Then like all numbing ice,
Then comes the sobs,
Whimpers at first ,
Heart wrenching ones later on,
I slide down the wall ,
Tears staining my cheeks,
My blood painting the floor,
What did I do wrong?
Why are you like this?

But the answer was never there,
So I stopped searching for it,
And learnt to survive ,
Fought to survive,

I do have feeling mom,
The same ones that you destroyed .

So if you see me smiling at your pain next time,
Spare me the curse .
Because you are the one that caused it.
It serves you right.

Every time your hand raises,
I flinch.
A tear across my heart,
With very mark against my skin.

Long since I've known ,
Pleading won't do any good.
Holding in any cries won't do any good,
At least that could make you stop,
Stop , please stop,
But it's never gonna happen is it?
It's never gonna do any good .

One day I shall come for you mom.
And that day u will realize what i felt,
What I suffered ,

One day I'm gonna make my own wings,
Teach myself how to fly,
Because you never did,
And fly to my freedom ,
Till then I intend and I'm determined to wait.
I will fly you out too,
But then I will leave you to rot to death in hell.

____^_____^^^_________

No hard feelings regretted in writing this poem,
All intended.