The American troops dominated the Japanese as the day passed by. . Until one day they dropped a bomb at Nagasaki and Hiroshima which damaged the nation. Japan is in the brink of surrendering. The newspapers have said that the war will be over soon but they said the same thing a week ago, a month ago. We just want everything back to normal.

December 1939

Andres and I just came back from Spain for good, it was a long journey. Transferring to several flights, I can't even feel my legs. They're so tired. One transfer from Madrid to Athens, then to Istanbul, to Karachi, to Kolkata, to Bangkok and finally to Manila. Air travel was just new but at least the travel time was cut from months at sea to just a few days. The colder Manila air made me feel I was in a summer in Madrid, but at least the weather isn't boiling here. 

We weren't planning on going back to Madrid anytime. The war is over and the nationalist fascists government of Francisco Franco took over Spain. Madrid looked different from what I was used to. Several buildings were destroyed and everyone looked different. The sad thing is that they were killing each other just because of political beliefs, believing that one belief is better than the other. Families, friends, and even lovers turned against each other. Pápa arranged that we must leave Madrid immediately as the bombings have started, we stayed in his cousin's estate in a small town of Tavira in Portugal near the Spanish border. In 1939 we came back to Madrid for our flight home. We left Madrid a few weeks before Christmas but it doesn't look like Christmas at all. The toy stores, department stores, and clothing stores were closed. The luxury hotel near our apartment was seized by the fascists and their flag is drawn on the balcony. The freezing winter weather made me want to wrap myself with five layers of coat and then light it on fire just to make myself warm. 

A week just before we left Madrid when the war started, a Spaniard classmate and friend of mine named Diego was executed by the nationalists for espionage, he was nineteen at the time. His girlfriend, a daughter of the nationalists discovered that Diego has been using the information he learned during the social gatherings that her father threw. Diego was giving it to the republicans. Until one day, we found Diego hanging from a tree in a plaza near our apartment. We all knew who did it.

I was on brink of joining the other youngsters who left school and joined the army to fight for the republic but I realized that my country will need me more in case a war breaks out there too. There has been rumors around here that another war might be coming, the whole world might be included, and not just Europe. Germany, and Italy gained a new ally in Asia, which is the Empire of Japan.

The first second I set foot in Manila I realized that a lot has changed since I was here three years ago. Andres and I will be staying here now, no matter how different our life was in Madrid. We were independent there, without any servant to follow us everywhere and treated us like princes. I just feel a little useless here.

Our house was still in its glory. The Narra wooden dining table was filled with enormous amounts of food. Most are Hispano-Filipino classics like Caldereta and Paella ala Valencia, Rosa made flan, some rice cakes and finally, rice. I haven't eaten any rice the same with Manila's rice for the past three years.

While having lunch, the table was filled with laughter, we had several stories to tell to our parents on how Madrid looked before and after the civi war and they  were so enthusiastic upon our arrival home. Máma  cried  when she heard how we escaped Madrid. She was crying on how her hijos survived such a tragedy, we lived better in Tavira in our uncle's estate, but still wasn't good as the pre-war days of Madrid. Patricia, my youngest sister can't stop talking about how excited she is to go to Europe when she's older.

I told them about school of course, on how women in Madrid started to join the workforce, and during the war, they joined the resistance. Filipino artists made names in Madrid art scene. Those were just the stories that I can tell them.

Some are just secrets that I can't tell. Like the time when I dated a daughter of a vineyard heir, named Ivana. One morning Andres hinted on what happened the night before I went home, he laughed on my face knowing what happened and told me that I am now a grown man. In Madrid people are modern and more free than the people at home. All the conservatism that we all still have in Manila were a thing of the past there.  He even told me that he did it when he was younger than me. I guess that would just be our secrets. 

_______

Present day 1945

Just remembering that lunch that we had made me smile, I can still here the music playing in Papa's phonograph records and I can still  see everyone's smiles, Andres looking good, Patricia's still alive and beautiful, Pápa was still looking like a kind but snobbish Spaniard that he is and not like a worried old man today. Máma was the old fashioned religious mestiza woman that she was who crochets, knits, and embroiders new decorative fabric. I wish everything will be back to just the way they were four years ago. But I know that's impossible now. Nothing will be the same again. Our house was in ruins, Patricia passed, Andres is still unwell. I don't know what will happen after all of these damages.

Camila and I went to see each other more and done things that she wants like volunteering for the children and civilians' home. O'Hara was thinking if he should send me to Cebu and Davao, the last provinces that the Japs hold, and make me do my job there. But most of his colleagues disagree and said that there's no need. The Japanese might surrender soon. They're now planning on what to do with Manila right after the war.

Camila was still working in the hospital when I visited Andres who looked healthier now. A nurse brought him his food as he is now able to eat by himself. I approached him and sat by the chair beside his bed.

"How are you doing?" I asked him.

"I am better now Pancho. Your girlfriend takes good care of us here." He replied. Referring to all of the soldiers in his unit.

"That's good to hear. You look well now." I said. When a doctor approached us.

"Hi, good afternoon. I'm Doctor Sanchez, and I treated your brother." He said shaking my hand.

"Very nice to meet you sir." I replied.

"Can we talk outside for a while?" The doctor said.

"Andres, excuse us for a moment." He added. Doc Sanchez and I walked outside their room.

"I'm going to be honest with you. Your brother experienced severe trauma in the camp and said that he witnessed things that he wished he wasn't able to see. So there are times that he just remembers it all and just shouts and covers his head out of the blue." He said. I wasn't shocked to hear this but is he saying that Andres has a problem? 

"I'm afraid that even if he's well now, he might be staying under medication for his trauma and depression. He might stay here for another month." He added. We went back to Andres and he's expecting that the doctor talked to me about his release soon.

Just an hour before the sunset, I took Andres out of his room and walked with him in the open space with potted plants to make it look like a park.

"I'm dying for a cigarette, Pancho. Please give me one." He said as we sat by the bench. I handed him one of mine. He deserves it. He's a hero. He smiled ear to ear when he tasted his first puff of cigarette after a very long time. 

We sat there and he told me about the book that he was reading, the comics that the Americans gave them, and the stories he heard on radio. He seemed like he really needed someone to talk to and I can't do anything to take him home. This is not his home. His home is with us. I haven't told him about Patricia yet. I am concerned on how he will take the news. Andres was still clueless on how were they saved. All he knew was that he woke up in a hospital after doing some work. Maybe that's what the Doctor said. He chose not to remember what happened during his stay there that's why his memory can't recall anything at all. He said that it would just be temporary and may have flashbacks soon and that we must be prepared.

A nurse was passing by us when she accidentally lost her grip of the metal tray she's holding which made a loud banging noise that resembled a grenade. I didn't know that it was one of Andres's triggers so when he heard it he shouted that the Japs are here. No one should surrender. He covered his ears and went down the grass.

I calmed him down, pat his back and said that they cannot do anything to him because I am here and he's safe and everything will be alright. He then realized that his reaction was a little too much, went back to sitting beside me and just continued talking to me as if nothing happened. He needs to stay here for a month, our parents cannot see their eldest son like this having episodes of his traumatic past. 

I walked him back to his room and said goodbye. The doctor said that it's best that he doesn't know that he's staying here for a month more.  Andres said that I should visit him next week. I wish I could but I made my decision. I need to join the last mission to Davao.