Andres went home after his duty for three whole months, so did I. The war changed him. He doesn't look like the way he did before. He looked older and looks like he hasn't been able to sleep for a while. But he's trying his best to look okay and smile at us to make us not worry about him.

It was surprising that Papa instructed us that we can't eat on our dining room like we did before. Instead we ate in the small servants' table beside the kitchen. We didn't resist because he said that the electricity is now scarce so he wanted to save it by having less light on the house.  

We talked about the things that made us happy before this war like polo, horses, cars and even music. But it only lasted as we talked about it. The war is still with us. The light above us was flickering and may be gone soon, so we prepared candles and lit them up. 

Pápa received a telegram during dinner. What could it be? It's from Uncle Poldo. Pápa's brother. He is inviting us to stay with him. He got an insider news that the Japs are now taking over houses in Manila.

Pápa agreed, saying that the Almeida house which was empty since Emily's family left has been seized by the Japs. Pápa showed allegiance with the Japanese just so that he could keep the house and his business.

"Don't you see that these people are killing people? Why would you show allegiance to them? Was that the reason why you instructed us to change our clothes first before going home, and to go in using the back doors? Are you scared that they will see that your sons are working with the Americans?" I said, slightly banging the table. My pápa was just silent realizing that I have a point.

"Hijo, you don't understand that if I won't do it they will get everything that we have. Everything that your grandfathers built! I don't expect you to understand me now but I think you will soon." He replied. I was holding on to my glass and shattered it with my hand.

Andres stood up and patted my shoulder to comfort me. He grabbed my hand to check on it. It's already bleeding. He learned first aid in his training and put some medicine and gauze on my wounded hand. It's a good thing that the cuts weren't deep.

"Emily's father was killed when he didn't agree to work with them." Papa said.

I wasn't able to say anything after that. We begged Papa to go to Uncle Poldo's estate in Rizal, east of Manila. He would be much safer there. We all did some arrangements just so that he can sneak away from here. 

Later that night, I saw Andres smoking beside our bedroom window. He still looks so bothered. I asked him for a stick. He grinned at me.

"I forgot that you smoke." He said.

"I can't sleep. Maybe this will help." I replied.

"How are you? You look so different." I added. Puffing the cigarette I just lit.

"I don't know how I am. I killed a lot of men Pancho. If you only saw and heard it. You would also not fall asleep." He replied.

"But it all still look the same right? It was a good thing that this part of Manila wasn't hit badly as the others." He added, took in another puff and looked over our window view which had several lights that made our streets beautiful. I transferred to sit on the window pane that was covered in grilles and continued smoking. 

"Why does it have to happen right now? I thought we won't experience war since we left Madrid earlier. But here we are, fighting another one we don't want to happen in the first place." I replied. I coughed a little after puffing my cigarette. Andres laughed and said that he got American cigarettes that are stronger.

"Promise me Pancho that you will take care of our family in case my plane goes down." He said.

"Please don't talk like that. You are the heir, not me." I replied.

"You're an architect like Pápa. I am just a person who is meant to sit on a desk the whole day." I added. I am just a plan B or a backup in case something happens to him. That has always been my place so I am used to Pápa always have the eyes on Andres. Specially that we were just a year apart from each other.  Andres was always doing something better, something valuable than I am. I'm used to it and accepted the fact that Andres will always be Pápa's favorite son. No matter what I do, he won't notice me. 

"Yes I know that. But like what you said, nothing is certain now. We need to be prepared." He is now using my own words against me.

"When all of this is over, let's go ride horses again! I can't wait for it." He said. I laughed and nodded along his idea. 

"Yes! Let's go on racing, polo with the boys and do some archery as well." I replied. Then Andres lost his smile and enthusiasm upon realizing that it will take us a long time before we can ride horses again. 

"Who am I kidding. Everyday more and more Japanese troops are attacking Manila and we have to prevent it from happening. So I am not sure if it is still possible." He added. He lost hope that we will win this war.

"Don't say that please." I replied. I am holding my words that I think they are all making me a coward by detaining me in the mailroom and make a hero among themselves, while I just fade in into the background. 

"It's hard that while you were all out there, I am just inside the mailroom sorting mails like a coward. I want to get out there and be one of you." I added. Andres looked like he was thinking about something.

"I think I can help you with that. The Americans are in need of a translator of Nihongo and you can still do it right? You still have the books that Hiro gave you?" Andres said. Despite of what I feel, Andres never failed to uplift me and make me think good of myself. 

"I think I do. Tell me how can I apply." I replied enthusiastically.

"My superior has a friend in your camp. His name is O'Hara, an American and I think he can help you." He said.

"In that case, I can't wait to tell him that." I replied. Then we smoked another cigarette and stared outside hoping that one day everything will be back to normal.

We both left the house the next day after Pápa left our home. Pápa was able to exit Manila because he hid in a vegetable delivery truck. He was covered with vegetables that was supposed to be delivered to Rizal. It was a good thing that he wasn't spotted by any Japs and arrived in Rizal safely. He sent me a telegram in my office stating that he arrived safe.

After reporting for duty in the camp, I immediately seek Capt. O'Hara. He's the one Andres was talking about. There were only two guys in the office now, Jose and I. Ignacio enlisted in the army when I left and was sent to the front. He was so eager to fight and now they placed a young woman in the office. She looked like she was my age. Her name was Carmen, and she was an actress before the war. That's why she looked familiar.

I reached Capt. O'Hara's office. Where I heard him talking over the phone. I talked to O'Hara about being an interpreter and he immediately agreed to it.

"How well do you know Japanese, son?" He asked me as he lit his cigarette.

"Conversational sir, and in case I won't understand some words I have a book with me. I was thirteen sir when I learned how to speak it with the help of our gardener. I can interpret their messages that I will get on my radio." I said.

"Interesting, Pancho is it? We will be assigning you to man the radio and listen and record everything you hear from it. I want a report every two hours." He said.

"You can count on me sir!" I replied. I smiled and can't help to feel happy because finally I will do something for my country.

"But I don't want my father to know that I am involved in this." I added.

"Well that would be easy. We will give you a new identity if that's what you want and will be assigned in a discreet office around the corner." He said.

"But I should inform you that we might have a mobile office soon since we have surrendered and we're planning our next move. Your service would be of big help, son." He added. He stood up and shook my hand.

Later that day they left a folder on my table containing my new identity. From now on, I will be Samuel Carter. A son of a Filipino American professor of Asian Culture. Samuel studied history and knows Nihongo since his father teaches it as well.

 I went to O'Hara's office to submit my first report of the day. Nothing too special, they were just about the locations of the warships that Japan had. 

"Capt. O'Hara, I would like to thank you for this opportunity sir." I said.

"Mr. Carter, you were briefed on the tasks that you should do and report everything to me. You may be assigned to go on undercover on restaurants or bars where the Japanese stay and just listen to what they are talking about. Manila is now an open city expect them to be everywhere." He said.

"So sir do you want me to spy on them?" I asked him, I felt a little surprised by my new job aside from listening to the radios.

"Of course. Of course. We need to move fast in order to win this war." He replied.

"But you going there would be a big risk and it would be our last option." He added.

My first week in my new job went by smoothly, and I am enjoying it. I know that freedom comes with a price. If I need to contribute to that amount, I would do it. Jose handed me a telegram while I was transcribing something from Morse Code. It's from Connie, Emily's sister.

The contents of the telegram shattered my whole world apart. It was about Emily. Her house was raided by the Japanese and killed her whole family, thinking that they were housing guerillas. Connie was the only one who survived the murder. 

Emily was so young to be gone. She just turned eighteen. I can't believe what I read. I grabbed my wallet and looked at the photo I took of her last year. I was right, nothing's certain now. Everything can change in a blink of an eye. I can still remember how I felt that day and can't explain it.

We may not be married but it's like I just lost a wife. The worst thing is that I wasn't able to do anything for her safety since she was so far away from me.

I wanted to go to the funeral but it's impossible now. The train going north is not operating for passenger use. All I could do is to pray for her, grieve alone, and accept everything. 

Note: I will put the view from Pancho and Andres' bedroom. (Photo not mine. Photo from Las Casas de Filipinas de Acuzar) The Fàbregas residence is by one of the canals that managed the flooding of Manila in the 1940s.