Night after night since our feud, Camila and I slept with our backs facing each other with not a single word shared. She kept on avoiding me and kept on staying in our room as if she was sick, walk around the house, read her books over and over, ignored her friends who visited her, if she continued to be like this I would have completely lost the woman I married. We were lying in bed pretending to be asleep while staring blankly by the ceiling on that cold spring night, rain was pouring outside. Then like the rain, Camila broke down and cried.

"Pancho, I can't stop thinking about what you said that night." She finally said, breaking the silence of the room.

"Pancho, I was really deeply hurt when you told me that I was to blame when I lost Cristian." She said.

"I was thinking about a lot of things this past few months. I kept on thinking about Cristian, and what if he survived? I kept on thinking about you. If how much time I have left staying as your wife before you leave me for some younger girl." She added. I faced her and her eyes looked different. Her eyes spoke of pure sadness and lifelessness. She took a leave from the museum and stayed home for several months now.

"I'm sorry if I acted that way that night. My head was just full with a lot of things." I replied.

She wasn't responding to my apologies. I tried to apologize to her a lot of times, and she just kept on ignoring me. So I gave her space and thought that ignoring me would help her, but it didn't. It just made things worse. We never felt more distant to each other in the longest time despite of staying under the same roof, and sleeping on the same bed.

"If you want to end this, then we can end it. I will talk to my lawyer tomorrow and settle all of this. Then I will move out and settle in a new apartment." She said.

"No Camila. Don't talk like that." I said. Then I wrapped her hands with mine hoping that what she's saying is not true.

"I cannot be with someone who treated me like that for something that I didn't want to happen. Nobody wanted to lose our son, Pancho." She said. I moved in closer and placed her hands on my face and kissed them. I cannot lose her. I started cry when she sounded serious about ending our marriage.

"No, no. I cannot let that happen. I was wrong and I can't take back what I said. But please don't leave me." I said. Camila wasn't responding to anything that I say.

"I don't want to lose you. You have my heart and soul. Please don't take that away from me." I added.

"Tell me what's bothering you. I think you have more problem than what happened to our son." Camila said then she sat by the edge of her bed and stood up. I stood up and followed her around like a puppy trying to seek forgiveness.

"You're not telling me everything Pancho so that we can fix it. Tell me what's inside your heart! Tell me what you feel! Don't keep it to yourself then later blame it all on me!" She said, as she pokes my heart and cried before resting her head on my chest.

"Yes you're right! It's not just about Cristian. It's about pápa and that fancy art world of yours! People are saying that you are the one wearing the pants in this family just because you make more with your art commissions and fashion gigs. Everyone made me feel that I cannot provide us with the same things that you had growing up." I said.

"That's not my problem Pancho. You made me feel like I was the only one who had a problem in this marriage. It is not my job to make you feel that you're a man by making sure that I make less than you. I won't be like my máma. You know that. If my job makes you insecure then maybe they're all right. Maybe you cannot provide for us." She said. I sat down by the edge of the bed realizing my mistakes, burying my head over my hands.

"Camila I am doing my best, but still I am a boring and poor young man from Manila who just made it here because of his wife." I replied.

"Do you think I care about those things? I married you Pancho because of the strong man I thought you were. You're smart, you're open minded. You are a man who was modern and would understand my dream to work and be an inspiration to young women of the younger generations. I don't know if I can still see those traits in you and if problems like this brings out the worst in you, then I see no problem in ending this up." She said. Then walked away from me.

"If you will listen to those people and the bad things that they say about you then you're just like my father, and yours too." She said.

She's right. It's not her right to make me feel like a man when she now makes more than I do. It's all my fault. I made the situation worse. I'm thirty-one years old and might be divorced soon.

"Camila, I love you. You know that." I said.

"No you don't. All you think about is yourself." She replied. While tossing me my pillow and my blanket gesturing me to sleep on the floor.

"Okay, if this is what you want." I said. Holding on to the pillows and blanket. I wasn't able to sleep that night and thought about all of my mistakes. I heard her breathing and the soft sounds that she makes whenever she's asleep. I don't know how my life would be without those things.

The next morning after our feud and disagreement. I woke up early to make her breakfast with Rubi, our cook and her lady's maid. I made her coffee just how she liked it, with a little sugar and milk. That's how I always do, I will make her coffee first before I make mine.

She went down and hugged me when I was making my own cup of coffee. She was not saying a word but I know what it meant. Until she said something.

"I'm sorry Pancho for last night. I know I haven't been myself lately." She said.

"I'm sorry too. It's all my fault my love." I replied then faced her. Her eyes gazing at me. Then I hugged her back and kissed her forehead. I hugged her for more than a minute and never let her go from my arms. I heard her soft sobs and hushed all her doubts away. Even without words, we knew what we were telling to each other.