The next thirty seconds pass by like they’re in slow motion. I’m still holding the woman’s second bag while she tries to maneuver the first one, bulging with cans, into it. I can’t just drop it on her, even as my whole body screams to do just that. The customer moves in negative speed. Meanwhile, Simon and Arvo are completely unaffected by time’s choice to flow backwards and are rapidly approaching Connor. 

The woman finally gets the dog food in the bag and I’m gone before she can say thank you. I have to get to Connor first. I’ll tell him about an emergency somewhere else and then make Simon and Arvo go away.

But I’m too late. As I skitter to a stop in front of Connor, the cultists have already gotten his attention. It’s hard not to with the shirt Simon’s wearing. In that moment, I’m convinced it’s the only shirt he owns. His closet is full of exact replicas. He has never worn anything else and never will.

“Connor!” My voice comes out in a squeak. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Arvo is already talking over me. “Are you one of the managers here?”

“No!” I yelp, at the same time that Connor says, “Yes.”

Connor looks at me strangely. He has no idea how much stranger this is going to get.

I turn to the boys. “I am literally begging you, please don’t—” 

Simon doesn’t even spare me a glance. “We just thought you’d want to know that you have an extraterrestrial in your employ.”

I groan and cover my face with my hands so I don’t have to see Connor’s expression. He probably thinks these are friends of mine pulling some prank. I’m going to get a strike or maybe even fired—fired from Walmart. I’ll have to live the rest of my life with that knowledge. The shame will follow me into my grave. 

“Extraterrestrial?” I hear Connor repeat.

“This creature right here, though it appears to be a normal woman, is actually a life form from another planet that has taken the skin of a human and sewn itself inside.”

I wish I were an alien. Maybe then I’d have some cool ability like erasing this memory from Connor’s mind. Or melting Simon into a puddle of goo. 

“The mark is clearly shown behind its right ear,” Arvo adds. “Scholars in the field currently hold with the theory that invaders from other planets possess advanced scientific equipment that allows them to preserve the corpse after removing the organs. It’s unsure if they retain the skeleton or not.”

Peeking out through my fingers, I see Arvo looking at me expectantly, like he’s waiting for me to answer this question. I almost want to say, No, we use the bones as musical instruments. I play an excellent ribcage. 

Instead, I turn to Connor. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know these guys. Well, I mean, I do, but not really. I was just living with them—not them, but their cult sister, I guess? I’m not in the cult, though. Not that there’s anything wrong with cults! Except, you know, the ones that kill people.” 

I’m making this so much worse.

My manager looks like his brain’s gone into overdrive to try and understand this conversation. I want to tell him, same. I won’t even blame him when he fires me. Connor doesn’t get paid enough to put up with this crap. 

It’s Jamie’s fault. I can’t believe he would sink so low. Doesn’t he realize this job is the only thing I’ve got going for me right now? Without it, forget the phone bill. I won’t be able to afford food. If I have to become one of those costumed sign twirlers just to put bread on the table, I’ll devote the rest of my life to ruining him. 

But by some miracle, Connor turns to Simon and Arvo and says, “Please don’t harass my employees while they’re on the job, or I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

I could weep with gratitude. Simon shoots me a dirty look and drags Arvo away, muttering about the conspiracy ‘going deeper than they thought’. I have to hold myself back from copying Whitney and jumping into Connor’s arms.

“Thank you so much, I’m so so sorry about that,” I babble.

“It’s okay. You’re a good employee.” And then he grins, in a way that is totally not like the Connor I’m used to. “That cult story sounds interesting though.”

I let out a relieved laugh. “You have no idea.”

“You’ll have to tell it to me sometime.” He hesitates. “Maybe… over dinner?”

From the aisle behind us, I hear a gasp, followed by someone who sounds suspiciously like Whitney hissing, “Shhh, I can’t hear!” 

I’d like to think that, if he’d asked at any other time, I would’ve actually thought before answering Connor. But after almost losing my job because of Jamie’s idea of a good joke, my morals have abandoned me. All I want is to take him down—by any means necessary. 

With Summer’s promise of emotional damage dancing through my head, I give Connor my brightest smile. “I’d love to.”