WPOV

In my head, I can still hear the way I slammed the car door shut. How it vibrated between my ears. 

"Will wait, let's talk this out!"

I was done talking. Had not a single word left to spit out, looked at the boy who sprinted after me and knew that if he couldn't walk into that building to lay down a claim, I would. 

"Wait, wait, Will!"

His hand clammed around my arm. I kept on marching over the pavement. I only had eyes for the building before me as I tried to ignore the tugging and bargaining of Nico. He pushed his own body flush against mine, if only to slow down my pace. His black hair tickled against my cheek. He cupped my face in his hands and I noticed how his fingers were shaking. 

"Will, think about this reasonably. Nath will lose his job if you barge into the police station with a false claim like that." 

I hate the way he always says 'Nath'. Like it's something special, like he, is something special, something loveable. 

I almost know for sure,

Nathan is not, something loveable.

Nico's dark eyes pleadingly bored into mine. My own hands wrapped around his and gently tugged them away.

"If he has nothing to hide than he won't be in trouble. It's as easy as that."

He shook his head with a desperate little laugh, taking a step away. 

"You're being selfish. When we prove it's false, his reputation will still, be ruined. Who wants to hire a man who molested a minor?" 

I stayed silent. His fingers dug into my lower arms.

"Will look at me," I blinked a few times before gazing up, "he's innocent. He'd never hurt me." 

The fierceness in his voice made me doubt my own reasoning. I scoffed silently.

"We'll let a professional decide over that."

And with that I walked past him, onto the wide stairs with only the entrance on my mind. 

"Will, come on." His voice cracked as if he were a twelve year old going through puberty again. I could smell the sweat trickling off of him. I could hear him wreck his brain behind me but in the end he let me walk. Defeated. Something he never used to be, but tends to be a lot lately. 

What are you so nervous about Nico?

I almost said it out loud. 

But It would have been cruel.

And I'd never be cruel to him. 

He walked behind me, trying to blend away in my shadow, glancing at the security cameras on the walls. A cop was standing outside with a sandwich in his hand. Munching away contently with his face to the sun. I marched towards the stocky man, he had broad shoulders, looked about forty years old, had short brown hair and when I approached, light green eyes found me.

"Everything alright young man?" He smiled between bites. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't place him. His accent surely wasn't one I was used hearing around here. 

"Not really, I'm here to report a case of abuse on a minor." My jaw tightened with every word. Saying it out loud made my chest itch and my palms sweaty. It felt unreal. I couldn't believe I was actually standing there with Nico.

The man's jaw stopped chewing as he glanced me over before quirking a brow. 

"Don't get me wrong boy but what kind of abuse or we talking about?" He asked as he nodded to my unblemished arms and legs. I opened my mouth but he waved me away. 

"I'm still on a break right now but I'm sure Sandra is inside, she's a nice, young lady with black curls. You'll know who I mean when you see her. She'll be able to help you."

He smiled broadly as a finch hopped over the ground to steal some of his crumbs. I cleared my throat.

"Okay thank you mister..." I squinted my eyes in an attempt to spot the name tag in the folds of his uniform, "Kurt Miller," I read out loud. 

Miller?

"I got to say kid, you appear pretty unwavering for somebody who went through the hell of abuse. I applaud that." He granted me a smile.

Where have I heard that before?

"Oh it's not for me," I mumbled absentmindedly as I nodded over my shoulder. The cop leaned a bit to his side to look at the figure behind me. His light pupils nearly got swallowed by the white of his eyes. 

Miller.

"Nico!" He laughed while spreading his arms, "how's my favourite son-in-law?"

My heart stopped beating. For a solid two minutes I forgot what it was like to breath as Nico walked into the embrace of Nathan's dad. The ground fell beneath my feet. His slender arms wrapped around the broad back of the man and he smiled slightly. 

I wanted to smash my head against the very wall I was standing next.

It's his dad. It's freaking Nathan's dad. Nath has a cop for a dad. Of course. Of course he has.

"How's Nathan? I haven't seen either of you for a while."

Nico looked so pale in the sunlight. He smiled tiredly, "Yeah we're sorry about that but Nath has been very busy with his job and all, you know what he's like." He shrugged and the man gave a belly laugh while wiggling his eyebrows at Nico.

"I sure do, he's a handful."

"A handful?" the words were already out before I could stop them. They both turned to me. Nico shaking his head slightly but I ignored it, "who do you think we're accusing?" 

Kurt glanced between the two of us in confusion. Nico grabbed the man's hands in an assuring manner while talking in that charm speak talk of his; "We're not accusing anyone. Will over there is an extremely jealous ex of mine, everything he says is utter nonsense." It might have came out as humorous if his eyes didn't refuse to meet mine. 

"Aah." Kurt nodded in understanding. Broad, Buddha smile back on his face, "Exes what are you going to do about em, right?"

"Exactly," Nico agreed.

"Your 'handful' whacked Nico against a concrete wall!" I gestured wildly at the boy before me. My heart was beating so fast against my chest it hurt. 

"He's exaggerating." Nico retorted just as fast, "of course it was concrete, what else would a wall be made out of?"

I wanted to rip the curls from my head.

"That still doesn't mean he had to smack you against it! Besides, I got proof." 

"You've got nothing!" Nico was right in my face, "some drug abused kids that claim to be witnesses? Is that would you got, Will?" 

I tried to hold myself back from telling him about the tape. 

He didn't need to know that yet.

"Because tomorrow I'll give them a new flavour of pills and they'll tell you whatever story I'd like!" 

His chest was heaving up and down. Warm puffs of air made the black strands before his eyes flutter before he took a deep breath and turned himself back to Kurt Miller. 

"It was just a push, don't worry about it." 

Tired.

So dead tired, he sounded and looked. 

"It was still rough." I argued on automatism. Kurt sighed as he wrapped his arm over Nico's shoulder and pulled him against him. Nico's eyes stayed glued on the ground. 

"What can I say," he chuckled while gazing at me, "boys will be boys right?" 

My whole stomach caught fire as I stood there. I wanted to slam my fists against the bricks, I wanted to wrap my arms around Nico and sob into his neck. 

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

"Don't let them do this to you Nico." a last plead. My fists were shaking with rage.

Kurt frowned. "Kid that's quite enough. I know being love sick hurts but you're really upsetting Nico. If I hear one more complaint about you, I'm getting you a nice restriction order as a gift." 

My mouth opened, then closed, then opened, then closed again. Like a fish on the dry. Completely lost in what it should do. 

"Ain't that right Nico?" He grinned as he shook his shoulder. Nico smiled politely, "right." the light in his eyes had dimmed out. 

Dead.

I fist my fingers into my hair, replaying the scene over and over in my head. I want to bury my face in my hands so I never have to look at Nico again. I made such a mess. With every little puzzle piece falling into place, the cramps in my stomach only get harder. I'm going to vomit out my heart but it doesn't even matter because he doesn't want any place in it anymore. Not after the stunt I had pulled. 

When sherif Miller walked back inside, Nico stormed off the stairs, fuming with rage. 

I chased after him between the parked cars.

He kept hurling insults left and right over his shoulder until my feet slowly lost their pace. 

"What's wrong with you Will?!" he nearly cried out. 

I wanted to drive him back home but he insisted on walking himself. I stood there with a heart in my throat. Knowing he'd go a lot of places right now, but 'home' wasn't one of them.

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NPOV

The flesh underneath my skin is burning. It's burning so warmly and so devastatingly hard that I might have confused it for love. 

The heat makes me want to tear out of my own body. The wind ruffles through my hair and I zip my jacket open to let it blow through my hollow chest. I sigh out a laugh as I feel myself shiver from cold or heat. I don't know anymore. It's a bit like love and devastation, after a while you don't recognise anymore which is which. 

It doesn't matter that my fingertips started tingling an hour ago or that the muscles in my face feel like goo from laughing. The warmth courses through my veins and paralyses them at once. 

I smile. 

"Amico, you sure you don't want anything softer?" The voice of the delivery boy sounds somewhere vaguely far away. I hold my hands up in front of me in an attempt to catch it. Wind blows through my fingers and all I ever catch is emptiness. 

"You haven't used in a while and I don't want Percy beating my ass."

"He won't. I heard you came back from the hospital yesterday after the surgery on your appendix,"

I whirl around towards the sound of my own voice. Cars pass by and in the bluish autumn hue, their headlights just seem to melt into the grey sky. 

 "mention Percy as my babysitter one more time and I'll sent you right back."

I make another spin around myself and nearly fall over my own feet as I see my own shadow on the pavement. 

The boy whistled between his yellowish teeth. The sound invades my mind from every corner like a teapot steaming above gas. I push my hands against my head and try to squeeze out the unfading sound. 

"What you need it so badly for, huh? Riddle me that."

His face hidden under the darkness of his cap. I can't even form his features in my memory if I wanted to.

"I thought you were a social worker, trying to get kids of the streets. What did you think, change it up Tuesday? Let's be a drug user today?"

His laugh thunders around me. I feel my mouth open but can't even hear the murmuring leaving my own lips. 

"The more drugs I take, the less the kids can buy from you, how about that?"

Something of a smirk graced his tanned face. 

"You're a quick one Di Angelo, I'll give you that."

He took out a small bag of faint blue powder and wiggled it before my nose. I remember the way my limbs burned at the sight of it. Even after all those months of not using, my body still remembered the taste very well, yearned for it even. I shuddered before him.

"What's that?"

He dipped his finger in the bag and held it before my mouth. Before I could stop myself, my lips were already around it. He chuckled faintly and I wish I could forget the expression on his face.

"You need it so badly huh? It's angel dust, only seems appropriate for a Di Angelo like you." 

"It's too warm," my voice doesn't even come from my own throat. I reach for my neck and clasp my hand around it. I try to speak again but my fingers are so numb from tingling that I can't feel the skin under my tips vibrate. 

"It's too warm," I try again but it's like my shadow spoke instead of me. I stumble a few steps further over the street. I rip my jacket from my arms and toss it onto the road. A car swirls around me with loud honking but it's just a boll of light racing through the dark in my eyes. 

I laugh while breathing heavily. My limbs are shaking, my head spins on its backbone. Another laugh joins me. Lighter, it comes from my right, no my left, no-

Too late to put my hands in front of myself, I clash into the pavement in front of me. Since when does the road move vertically? Oh no wait, I did. 

I roll onto my back while little pebbles dig into my hands. The laugh swells louder. I tilt my head and there she is. Upside down, sitting on the road before me in jeans and a flashy green crop top, the sky embracing her slender frame. 

"Fratellino, you shouldn't be playing with stuff for grown ups." her voice warps everywhere around me.

Bianca.

She smiles but I can see the redness in her eyes and the paleness of her skin. More alive than when I saw her laying on the autopsy table but more dead than the big sister who drank coffee in the kitchen with me. She didn't even change her clothes. Didn't even undo her braid from the last time she ran out of our door. 

"Who are you to say," I huff out while rolling onto my stomach. My hands are shaking and my wrists are itching,"I'm just following my big sister's amazing example."

She shakes her head with a huff and black strands fall into her face, the same black strands I get to look at every day in the mirror. 

"I made some bad choices, I admit but that never meant you had to follow me."

I moan out in pain as a certain movement makes me put pressure on my bruised chest. Blood rushes to my head again as I slowly crawl up in a kneeling position. Bianca's figure no longer upside down floating in a grey ocean sky. 

"You knew damn well, I followed you wherever you went," I wipe the tiny pebbles from my scrawny hands. Red blotches on my pale skin. I didn't even feel the hit my nose took until a certain wetness drips down my chin. My face is still warm with numbness and as I wipe the droplets with a heavy arm away, the skin there just feels like a mask pulled over my skull that isn't even mine to touch. Bi opens her mouth to say something but I cut her off.

"No no!"I bark out a laugh," a bad choice is watching tiktok for three hours when you have a math test the next day, your choices however, ended with you dead in a ditch!" 

She turns her head away from me. Cars race past us, ignoring the two teenagers sitting casually at the side of a road. Some wary glances are thrown from behind misty windows but they're all just skin coloured blotches fading in and out to me. 

"And your choices?"

My chest is heaving up and down. Her skin changes colour every time I blink.  A new trail of slippery red trickles out of my nose as I look back at her. Her face is purple in the watery sunlight.

"what?" I pant out. My hands firmly gripping in my upper legs, if only to confirm that I'm really stuck in this wrecked body. These legs that cary me to places I don't even want to go.

Her eyes bore into mine and for the first time since she threw the kitchen table onto its side before my dad's feet, with all its shattering coffee mugs, they aren't clouded with the haze of cocaine. 

"Where will you end up with your choices?" 

Her eyes grow larger the longer I stare at her. She fishes a cigarette out of the pocket of her washed up jeans. 

"Got a lighter?"

I stay quiet. With blue, shaking fingers, I dig into my jacket before hurling a black lighter with a white skull at her. She catches it without looking. 

"I thought you didn't smoke?" she sounds smug. 

I look at the red drips mixing onto the harsh ground beneath me. Fascinated. I can't even feel the pain. 

"I don't," I respond, "but Baby does, so I always cary one around for him."

Bianca hums as she lights op the cig with a flick of her thumb, "What a caring friend you are." 

I can taste her sarcasm on my tongue. 

"As if you deserve an award. I remember driving Zoë to rehab, fun trip you didn't come along with," I immediately retort. The words come out in a gurgle of anger and blood. 

The cig glows like a burning point in her carved face. Smoke unnaturally circles around her. I cough and catch red splatters with the back of my hand. Bianca laughs in that arrogant way of hers. 

"I told you not to play with grown ups' stuff," she says while pointing at the redly coloured salvia on the pavement. 

Overdose.

The word rings in my head as my eyes widen.

I try to wipe the blood of my lips but I only smear more red over my cheeks. I dig my face into my bare arms.  For the first time, I notice the absence of my jacket. 

"Where's my jacket?" I try to push myself up but only fall over my own feet again. Bianca's figure is almost completely shrouded in smoke. The orange burning cig dances before my eyes

"looks like you can't handle it," her voice taunts from behind me, "as usual, little Nico." 

The warmth inside me catches fire. With burning limbs I get to my feet and lurch at the silhouette evaporating in the smoke. I hold out my hands to grip her at her shoulders and drag her down with me, take a fistful of cloth of that hideous flashy green top of hers and topple her onto the ground. How dare she sit here and chide me on this God awful road? As if she wasn't too shaken up with drugs herself to come back to Italy. As if I didn't join the half-blood house to save stupid girls like her. 

I'm not sure if I screamed but by the time I thought my body would clash with hers, I'm just falling through an empty cloud of smoke. My head bangs against something unmovingly hard. So fast that it makes me fall flat back onto my buttocks. It takes me a moment to squint my eyes open again to see a tree trunk in front of me. 

I scramble up onto my knees, glancing around like a wild animal searching for a hunter. 

"Bianca?" I call out hoarsely. 

I feel around at the ground where she sat but no sting of smoldering cigarette ashes ever prickles my fingers. Not even a single wisp of smoke is still floating up into the air. Like she was never even there at all. As always. I feel something running down over my cheek but I can't tell if it's blood or tears. 

My jacket lays a few meters further next to the road as if it were a rabbit hit by a car. 

"Bianca?!"

Cars loudly drive by. I wring my hands into my hair and didn't notice I started sobbing until the tears splashed down on the ground to mix with the red. 

"Bianca!"

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