HOW TO CONDENSE THIS(BLURB) INTO AN EVEN SHORTER FORM

You've boiled down the essence of your story into a few paragraphs, but your publisher or a promotion website wants what you have cut down even further. How do you shorten what has already been trimmed and trimmed and trimmed?

First, you must determine the market for your story. Are you selling to a romance reader, a mystery reader, or science fiction reader? The answer to that question helps determine what is the most important information to keep in your book blurb. You don't emphasize the hero's romantic life if you are selling a thriller, and you don't ignore it if your reader wants a romance.

Your book is foremost about one person so that person must be part of the book description. If you are writing a romance, it's best to pick either the hero or heroine for emphasis, and the one you pick is the one who has the most at stake in your book description.

For my romantic suspense novel, GUARDIAN ANGEL , I wrote this long blurb:

For a large fee, ex-FBI agent Gabriel "Gard" Gardner agrees to protect defense lawyer Lauton O'Brien's daughter from an unnamed, dangerous criminal client. Desta proves to be everything Gard wants in a woman, but he can't ignore the barriers between them -- her father whom he despises, and her wealthy, high society background which he can never achieve.

Fleeing from violent kidnapping and murder attempts, Gard and Desta pursue their own fleeing quarry, Lauton, who holds the clues to the identity of their mysterious enemy. No one, not even Gard's former partner, can be trusted, and someone is giving away their locations to their enemy as they travel from the North Carolina coast to the mountains, then back to Gard's home on Lake Norman.

Along the way, they find unlikely allies in Bubba the Swedish chef, a doctor who handles a pistol with the same ease as a scalpel, and a puppy named Barkley.

When I shortened it, I wanted to let readers know it was a romance, but it was also a suspense novel. I also wanted to give them a feel for the novel. Here's what I wrote:

Marked for death, Desta finds a guardian angel in Gard Gardner, who may save her life but seems determined to break her heart as well.
 
No one can be trusted as they flee murder attempts, and someone is betraying their locations to the hired killers after them.

Notice how I included the romantic relationship as well as using buzz words like "death," "murder," "killers," and "betray" to show the suspense element.

For my science fiction adventure novel, THE ONCE AND FUTURE QUEEN, I wrote this long blurb:

Immortals are a race so illusive most believe them a fairy tale of space. Many tales differ, but all declare them the most deadly race in the universe with a technology beyond imagining and physical abilities beyond belief. With powers so vast, they have paid little attention to humanity. Until now.

Xenda, a human colony of royalty, castles, and courtly lifestyle, was a quiet pastoral world until the arrival of two Immortal women who vied for the love of the planet's king.

But before they left, he was dead, and the planet and its people were ravaged by invaders. Peace came with the defeat of evil Fionna by Dia, but now Fionna is back, and Dia is dead.

With only the dubious help of Xendan Patrick Blood-- a charming buffoon who imagines himself a swashbuckling hero, Col. Valerian Grant and his crew of scientists must stop Fionna from destroying the human colony.

My shorter version--

Swashbuckling Science Fiction Adventure!

To save a human colony of royalty, castles, and courtly lifestyle, Col. Val Grant and his Confederation crew face an alien enemy who cannot be beaten.

I cheated a bit with the first line, but it's an attention getter. The second line has such sf buzz words as "human colony," "alien," and "crew."

Other examples--

STAR-CROSSED

Trapped on Arden, Tristan Mallory discovers that men are sex slaves. He has no intention of belonging to anyone, not even beautiful Mara. To give Tristan freedom, Mara must risk everything-- her family, her freedom, and her life. But her most terrible risk is losing Tristan to another woman.

HINTS FOR ALL KINDS OF BOOKS

Know what YOUR readers want to know about your book. Go to your bookshelf and pull out books in the same genre as yours and read the back cover copy. What made you want to read this book? What clues and buzz words did the copy use to tell you what kind of book it is?

Did the language and voice used in the blurb tell you about the tone of the book? If the book is comic, was this obvious in the way the blurb was done? If the book was dark, could you tell? Could using the distinctive voice of the narrator have improved the blurb?

For an excellent example of a book's comic tone caught in the blurb, read the blurbs of Jeff Strand's novels at Fictionwise or Amazon.

Remember that your book is about people, not setting, historical location, or scientific facts. Don't emphasize any of them over your characters.

Copyright © 2005 by Marilynn Byerly

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Hope this has been helpful.