I decided to hold off my worries until father and Larry came back. Right now it was only a waste of time, there's always a chance that mother's fine. Father was away from home very often too, sometimes it even took days before he came back but no one did such a ruckus because of it like today. Larry, even though he wanted to be seen as a goody two-shoes, used to sneak away in the middle of the night just to see his girlfriend. I could see him leaving through the window in my room, but I've never said a thing to mom and dad since he was an adult already. I also wanted him to like me as a sister, I've had few people to talk to and didn't want to lose my brother for something foolish like snitching.

 We had a good relationship, and he always cared about me very much, but since he started dating Caroline he became more absent in my life. Even now, while he was leaving to look for mother the only one he could think about was his girlfriend. It was really immature of me, but sometimes I was jealous of her taking my brother's time, even though she wasn't a bad person and always backed me up whenever someone was badmouthing me. Larry did it too, but he's soon going away to the military and I will be completely alone this time. If my mother doesn't come back there won't be anyone I could talk to excluding drunk customers. And even they became lesser in numbers in just a matter of hours... Dad didn't really count too, since he was way too often away from home. 

Despite his absence I still loved him very much. He was always patient with me and sweet, he didn't mind at all that his daughter spent most of her time selling alcoholic beverages, he was glad that I've found something I enjoyed doing and often bought me presents on his business trips. I never truly could've been angry for too long at him but this time my feelings about him and Larry were mixed. Father didn't mind me going to the woodshed alone so late, but now he's suddenly so worried about mother. It didn't feel that fair to me. Was he worried more about her well-being than mine?

With so many things on my mind I went up the stairs to my room. I didn't had to go that far, since it was a few meters away from the top of the staircase. When I entered I immediately approached the mirror to check the state I was in.

As I've thought earlier, the tail did leave a bruise, very painful too. The blood was already dry, so I had to go to the bathroom to wash and scrub myself clean. The dirt and blood started to float in the water, there was so much of it. After I finished I disinfected my wounds and bandaged my head.

No matter how hard I tried to make the bandage unnoticeable, it was just impossible since my hair was the color of ugly charcoal and the bandage was the purest white I've ever seen.

'Well, not for long.' Some wounds opened yet again after I washed myself up, and that was one of the reasons why I needed the bandage on my head.

''Come to think of it, why didn't Larry nor father ask whether I was fine? When I checked myself in the mirror I was scared of the state I was in, so why didn't even one of them say anything?" I pondered to myself. Was Larry that preoccupied with his happiness that he simply brushed off what happened to his sister? Was it really only the gun he was worried about? But why? It's not like it belonged to him or that he was going to be shot. I would never hurt a member of my family.

I was aware of the things people said behind my back, it hurt at the beginning but after years I've become numb to it all. I've always found it hard to emphasize with others. I never understood why it was like that, but one of the reasons could be that since I was able to recall I've been helping my mother with the tavern. Father gave her the rights to it after marriage and it really angered her parents. She was meant to be a successor of their business, but because of him she decided to settle down in this town and start a family. After five years of marriage she gave birth to Larry and four years after him I was born. Since father took Larry often away for his business trips, Mother and I were left alone here. After I was old enough I started to help her with work. In the beginning no one opposed that idea, but since I didn't have any friends at my age my parents wanted me to socialize more and send me to the local school where it all started. 

At the beginning everything was fine and normal, but when I was twelve and rumors about the Beast and other monsters started to emerge my classmates used to scare each other with those stories. I've never been easy to deceive, so I didn't believe a word they said. One of them had a brilliant idea to disguise themselves as a ghost. They tried to ambush me after school when I was going back home. I acted too fast and hit the kid with the branch. I acted out of self defense and also I wanted to check whether it was truly a ghost. If it was, its body should be transparent and nobody would get hurt. After that his parents sent a complaint to my parents and school and soon enough my father said that I didn't need to come there anymore. Instead he decided to teach me everything he knew about being a merchant and other things like math and grammar. 

After the accident other children didn't dare to approach me anymore and adults started to badmouth my parents and me. Lawrence got hurt by it too, his friends turned their backs on him. 

And everything was because of me. I was the source of their misery. I didn't want to repeat my past mistakes and I promised to myself a long time ago that I won't ever do anything to endanger my family and our happiness. I don't care if the whole world is going to burn down or the things I'd need to do to keep my word. 

Maybe I'm cruel after all. Or a monster. I didn't mind it at all. 

I checked my calendar as I've always done per my daily routine and I was right. It was an early winter. I would call it a small victory if the casualties weren't so numerous that night. Besides, in the end it wasn't even a bear, so it didn't need to hibernate. 'But I could have sworn that I heard pawns, not claws or hooves behind that shed. They sound completely different and distinguishable from one another. Was it possible that there was another animal nearby?'

The matter of pawns still was puzzling to me, but I wasn't the type to just mull over something for too long, so I went back to the first floor and decided to open the tavern as I'd usually do around this time. It took me two hours to wash myself up properly and make myself somehow presentable but my brother and father still didn't come back. 'I hope nothing bad happened to them.' 

After a few minutes the first customer entered and I didn't have more time to think about other matters. After him came other people and when I started to worry that working alone while there were so many customers present was impossible after all, Caroline finally turned in. 

"Hi Ash." She greeted me happily and immediately helped with orders and cleaning. "I was supposed to meet with your brother this morning, but he never came. Did something happen?"

"My mom disappeared and father went to look for her. Larry came with him. It was a few hours ago and they still hadn't come back, but don't worry, he said to me before he left that he would meet with you after his return."

"Thank you so much! You're always so kind and helpful to us. I really can't wait until we're officially sisters." She said and smiled widely. I wonder how she can smile so happily, didn't she have any worries? I heard that love makes us blind, but her case looks rather serious. Besides, didn't I just tell her that my mother had gone missing? What is she so happy about? I'd never be able to smile as sincerely as her. Even before other children started to avoid me I was a loner. I had to learn how to smile to make other people approach me. If I couldn't be likable I wanted to be at least interesting to them. Added one small lie here and there and I had for a moment someone I could at least exchange pleasantries. 

Even though I was second guessing her intentions, I'd never tell her it straight to her face. It wasn't her fault that I was jealous and paranoid. Sometimes I worried that she would break if I spent too much time with her or said something I shouldn't say. I didn't want others to know what was on my mind, so I've always been walking on eggshells and trying to act like a normal good human being would.

"You know... I've been meaning to ask... Did you hurt your head?" She asked worriedly. She must've been thinking about it for some time already but didn't know how to touch this topic.

"I fell down the stairs." This excuse always worked. People usually stopped asking questions after that. 

"Ah... I see. You're right, I do it often too." She laughed dryly while turning to take an order from a newcomer. 

Even though I cut the conversation short, I appreciated her being concerned about me. She was the first person to ask if something happened.