I'm on my knees at this point
I can't look you in the eyes no more
The sparkle is lost
The hint of joy is gone

I couldn't keep the promises
I failed once again
I regret trying

I'm sorry for I am such a fool
I believed the lies
The sweet sensation of success
I'm sorry for trusting myself

They were right
This world ain't for me
I can only count on Them
Because I know
They won't disappoint

Before I disappear again
I would like to say sorry
Sorry for not believing
Sorry for not pushing

Actually, I did push
And it was like pushing air
I did fight, I promise
They have the power

Don't give me the crap that it gets better!
I'm done listening!
Stop giving me false hope!

All I did was give fake smiles at the end
If that's called pushing, then I don't want it
Maybe I could have tried more
But I would be lying if I say that I didn't give my best

Healing ain't enough no more
The wounds are permanent
Just like every scar on my skin

I never lied about being sorry
Because I wish I could make you smile once more
I know you were healing
You were doing so well
But I messed up again

I'm the reason you shed tears
I'm the reason for your anger
I'm the reason for your pain
But I'm not the reason for you smiles
And I can't be

The only person I can trust is them
So, now as I walk alone on this journey
I want you to leave me alone
And let my pieces fall
Just like distorted glass
It was pretty while it lasted
*********

I want to tell you something. Most of these poems are written in the heat of the moment, so they are really raw. Don't know how you will see this poem, but I want to know what do you think this poem is about before I help?

Eccedentesiast: someone who hides pain behind a smile

Thank you so much for 1k read! I'm going to be honest here, I never expected this book to get so much attention because it was me just being me and this is what makes this special I guess. But seriously, stop spoiling me or else I'll get used to it.

Take care,

Sera