The Words I want to hear

FAN FICTION, ROMANCE, YAOI
Chapter X.

The only thing I own is this story, and some characters that did not appear in Kuroko No Basuke anime/manga. I might've changed their personalities so I apologize in advance.

Warning: Sexual doings, inappropriate language, abuse, etc. Please be aware.

Enjoy...

___________

Akashi ~

The intense air surrounding the both of us never faded. Each of us giving in deep thoughts to the game and the current problem I'm having. I was invited to Shintaro's house because I told him that I'd want to play while telling the story. And now here we are, sitting accross each other.

The moon is slowly peeking from the sky, the last sunlight coming from the sunset slowly leaving. The sound of water and rustling leaves appear every now and then when there's a breeze. The chirp of the birds and the frog noises - these things make me annoyingly calm.

It makes me remember my past 'home'. It's all history now, I shouldn't review my history.

I took a sip from my drink while I placed a piece on the shogi board. Shintaro furrowed his eyebrows, trying to think of a good strategy against me. "What are you planning to do now?" he asked, placing a piece on a squared tile.

"Tell me, from your own perspective, what should I do?" Picking up my chosen piece, I slowly placed it on a tile.

A pair of green eyes shot through me, the lens of his glasses shining. His lips parted and adjusted the black frame that was sliding downwards on his face using his taped fingers. He cleared his throat and moved his attention back to the shogi board. "It's not necessary, since you know what to do,"

"I ask appropriate questions when I don't know what to do." I shifted in my seat, making my body face towards him completely. I straightened my body, telling him that I am paying attention to his words more than the battle in front of us.

A short silence occurred and then he spoke, "Are you scared?

I looked at him, confused. "What does this have to do with-"

"Do you want this problem to end or not?" he asked. The seriousness in his voice left me no choice but to answer.

"I'm not scared at all." I answered the question with complete honesty, still confused by his question.

He refused to look at me. It took him a second before he asked another question. "What if, in this moment, Kise and Kuroko are talking things out? Does that make you scared, even a bit?" The taller man slouched, his taped fingers in his chin.

My expression changed but I don't know what exact face I'm doing right at this moment. "There is no reason to be scared. Ryouta already knows that Tetsuya is my property."

"Does that make him stop himself from doing anything?" He asked right away, not wasting a breath.

My pulse raised and my blood started to boil. The nails of my fingers digging into my skin from too much force, knuckles whitening. My head started to visualize the things Ryouta might do and how Tetsuya might react. The sight of Tetsuya being kissed by someone who isn't me made me sick.  I took a sharp breath because of my imagination.

I slammed my fists into the table, the shogi board and pieces scattering because of too much impact. I cursed under my breath, murmuring about how indescribably stupid the question was. "This has something to do with the question?!"

"What you're feeling right now is fear, not rage." He calmly placed his both hands on his lap, ignoring the wooden pieces that clattered on the floor

"None sense. Just imagining sickly things like that makes me want to beat the shit out of him, not shiver with fear." I let out a scoff with a muffled laugh at the end.

"Your way of expressing fear is not that different from the others, Akashi." He sighed and continued. "You want to 'beat the shit out of Kise' because you're scared that he might take advantage of Kuroko."

I snapped my head at him and immidiately grabbed his colar, pulling him to me. My dominant hand raised and ready to knock the person in front of me. "What the fuck!"

"This is the reason why!" Overpowering my voice, he shouted, ringing my ears. "This is the exact reason why Kise has the advantage. You're trying to make that scenario all over again."

And then it came back to me - the time when I punched Ryouta to the floor. The blood stains on my knuckles, his bloody face, my thirst for more power - it was replaying inside my head.

"You weren't 'flowing with rage', you were frightened by the fact that Kise has the chance to take him from you," Shintaro's hands gripped my wrists and pulled them away from his collar. He regained his balance and fixed his attire.

"He may have the chance, but his percentage is surely lower than mine." I assured him.

"But you're afraid because the percentage might grow while you're unaware."

My eyes widen by the sudden thought. Shintaro and I locked eyes and he gave me a small nod. "Like right now..."

--

Kise ~

"Ahh! Finally, some fresh air." I said with glee while walking to the balcony on the second floor that I didn't know it existed.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, closing my eyes afterwards. A sudden breeze came through my neck and down my spine, making me shiver.

"Kise-kun, you're drenched with sweat. Do you want to go back before you catch a cold?" Kuroko held his arms tight, his whole body shaking.

I giggled like a school girl. Ahh, so this is what it feels like when you like someone and you don't really know what's happening to you. "Nope. I'm good. How about you though? Are you gonna be alright, Kurokocchi?"

"I'm good-" His sentence was cut with a sneeze. I tried to hold my laugh but I failed, so I decided to just laugh harder. Just how cute can he get?

He started to crunch his nose and rub it like a little kid. His cheeks were tinted with along with his nose. The colour of his cheeks really does go along with his hair colour.  Then another pack of cold air brushed us and his teeth began chattering.

"You didn't have to lie, you know." I placed my hand on his shoulder as I walked passed him. "Let's go inside and get changed."

"Kise-kun, let's stay here for a second." he suggested. I looked back at him, shocked by his words. I took a step back from the door and nodded, simply speechless. His back was still facing me, I stepped towards his side and he looked at me with blank eyes, but what's behind it wasn't blank at all.

Behind those blue eyes of his were mixed feelings that I can't tell. It made me worried for not understanding it completely. My mouth was suddenly dry, almost like the texture of dry sand, I couldn't swallow the lump that was on my throat properly.

"Tell me, Kise-kun," I knew it. "What happened to your cheek the other day?"

I.knew.it

My breathing hitched but I acted normally. I have to act like it's nothing, right?  "Ohh, it's about that, huh? Well, uhm, I got into fight -- it's no biggie, Kurokocchi." I rubbed the back of my head and chuckled.

"Then tell me what happened on the court with Seijuro, your battle with your own teammate."

Of course he noticed it. Everybody noticed it. I should've gotten my notes on what to say about this. Or maybe, I should've made notes about this - that first.

"I have no reason to hide that. It's a battle between teammates, like we always do. It's normal." I shrugged.

"It's not normal for the calm and collected captain to act like he's been possessed by a god of calamity."

I am mentally screeching at the moment. Damn, no one warned me that there's an evil side of Kuroko. Someone should've warned me. He's acting so... cool.

I hope he doesn't notice my heart shaped eyes that is beating for him. "Even though we're a team, we're rivals. That's why we felt like battling each other, since the other team isn't worth to be competing with,"

"He missed the damn shot." He sounded irritated.

He looks so cute and cool at the same time. Why can't I have my own Kurokocchi? Where can I buy one? "I lightly touched the ball when he started to shoot it."

"Kise-kun,"

"Hmm?"

"That wasn't enough to defeat him."

"Wha-"

"It means that he must've lost his composure somehow." He paused but let himself continue. "And you're the one who made him act like that, right?"

I stopped giggling inside my head and focused on his face. "Yeah, you're right."

His eyes slightly widen and turned his whole body to face me. He tilted his head a little to the right, "Tell me," he ordered.

His aura changed into a frightening mode, making me want him more. This couple is surely pissing me off. I should've snatched him away since the very beginning. I wish I was the first one who noticed him and took care of him. I wish I was the one who can make Kuroko like this and fight for me.

I wish I was his partner.

"He threatened to kill me." My mouth spoke on its own.

I heard him gasp, his eyebrows furrowing with shock. He took a step backwards and shook his head lightly. "He couldn't possibly..."

"Don't lie to yourself," My voice rose a little louder but deeper. "You know that he's capable of doing it."

"He wouldn't do that without a reason." He tried to make his voice sound plain but failing. His voice sounded weak like it was clinging onto something,

"I told him I like you." I quieted down my voice.

There was a silence, and then he spoke, "Why are you lying to make him-"

"No, no. I'm not lying. I really do love you and..." I couldn't control the burning feeling on my cheeks, so I bit my lower lip to try to stop it. "...I couldn't stop myself from doing that. I won't stop adoring you,"

I avoided his gaze and bit my lip again, my voice sounding hoarse, "I just wanted to live a life where I can be happy, and it will happen if you're with me."

"No matter how hard I try, I couldn't be like Akashi - he's perfect especially for you. And me? I'm just a copycat, there's nothing special about me. Being with you as a friend wasn't enough so I tried to cling onto you more, but Akashi noticed and confronted me about it - that's how I got my cheek bruised."

"I challenged him on everything, on court or not. I told him that I'm going to win you over and defeat him, and he's the one who's going to look up to me while I look down on him."

"I was jealous and selfishly stupid. I can't win you over like this - I can't force you to do anything, you already have someone in your life and he's the one who can love you the way you love him back. You're already someone's property and I'm just trespassing."

"You may have changed your mind about me but I want you to know that I love... you."

Kuroko's slender fingers travelled to my cheek, his thumb wiping of the tears that was spilling. He gave me a smile that was everything to me - a kind of smile that was given to Akashi everyday. I choke out a sob and held his hand that was on my face, craddling it more for comfort. Tears were spilling everywhere but he didn't care. He was still carressing me with his thumb and his smile, and that's all I need... for now, at least.