The Words I want to hear

FAN FICTION, ROMANCE, YAOI
Chapter VIII.

The only thing I own is this story, and some characters that did not appear in Kuroko No Basuke anime/manga. I might've changed their personalities so I apologize in advance.

Warning: Sexual doings, inappropriate language, abuse, etc. Please be aware.

Enjoy...

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Kise~

There was still a faint memory when everyone was normal. The five of us: myself, Akashi, Murasakibara, Midorima, and Aomine, all together and beating each team that comes in our way. We were called the Generation of Miracles because of that.

A simple, ordinary day of practicing was happening and Akashi introduced someone. Someone that broke the normality. And as a matter of fact, it was better than normal. That human being who was introduced to us, he looks so delicate. He looks so delicate that I was to take care of it; treasure it until he reaches the full bloom. But I don't have the power to do that. He wasn't mine to begin with.

I didn't care about basketball at that time. I was too busy admiring what's in front of me. I care less that he's going to be the 6th man, I want to study him. I want to learn everything about him; his insecurities, sensitive and sweet spots, and all those useless things that I find interesting.

But as the time goes by, I tried my hardest to be close to him. Spending more time with him as much as possible. And then, I unconsciously noticed that I was being overpowered - overpowered by someone who knows the best at everything. And before you know it, I was nothing close to a friend.

I pretended to be happy. I closed my heart to everyone. I told someone, he does seem concerned, but that doesn't solve everything. The pain that I'm feeling, only he noticed it and talked to me. It was unusual for him to do that but I was feeling a bit of happiness. And that tiny bit of happiness was thrown away with guilt of making the person I love snatched away, jealousy, and this miserable, hurtful feeling; emptiness.

I have no right to call Kuroko mine, not even a single bit. And now, Akashi can call my precious his. All that I could do is feel happy for the one I love. Since he's happy, I should be happy too, right?

Being optimistic is harsh.

I remember that time when he realized his feelings for Akashi and I embarrassingly broke down in tears in front of him. I had to lie for our sake. So if I say "Lying is a bad thing.", then why does not telling the truth can continue distress and serenity?

Now, I'm right in front of those two making out. To be completely honest, what's the best way to get out of an uncomfortable situation? I couldn't just leave, but I couldn't just stay there either. If I don't do anything, then my mixed emotions might be read.

Especially the emotion that can ruin everything.

"Kise-kun?" I looked at Kuroko and I didn't even know where was I looking before that. He stared at me with those eyes that I couldn't understand. I wonder, can Akashi read them?

"Kise-kun?" He repeated.

"Uhh... Uhm... I'm sorry, I should go back."

"No, no. We're both done changing anyways. You can just stay here."

Think of something, something that can change the mood. "I didn't ruin anything, did I?"

Kuroko was blushing, I couldn't stand it. Why did I have to say something that will hurt me more?

I looked at Akashi, who was looking at me with blood-lust. My heart thumped because of that scary expression. No, I couldn't possibly let my emotions take over me. He read what's inside me? No, that'll ruin everything.

I swallowed hard that I can't breathe enough oxygen. It feels like his gaze is slitting my throat. I want to look away, but I confusingly couldn't. What's happening?

"We should go then and warm up." Kuroko placed his wristbands on.

"I have to talk to Ryouta for a minute." Akashi stated. Have to talk to me?

"For what?" He questioned.

How and when exactly Kuroko did become this curious? It's not important... even though I don't know why, but! Urgh, why am I so annoyed! Just calm yourself down, Kise. But I can't just leave this alone! This is no time to argue with myself!

"Just something I want to confirm about." Akashi crossed his arms and closed his eyes while slightly bowing down (like he normally looks).

Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Like, something is boiling down my stomach and I keep swallowing. It's just a confirmation about something, right?

Oh, haha! It's not like he have magical powers read my feelings or anything...

Kuroko shrugged and headed outside, his emotionless face plastered. I watched him closed the door and looked back at Akashi who is sitting down at the bench. He crossed his legs and straightened his back, still looking the same as before.

I stood there whether to sit down beside him or just stand up. Both of the options are stupid so I decided to remain at my position.

I scratched the back of my head at the silence surrounding us. It was an intense silence, so I felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Uh, so-"

"Do you really think I haven't noticed?, Ryouta?" He irritatingly exhaled from his mouth and peeled his eyes open, filling me with his frightening lust.

I let out a fake laugh, "Hahaha! W-what did you notice, Akashicchi?" Shit, did he- this fast?

"Don't make me look like an idiot in front of you. You already know what I'm talking about." He shifted in his position.

"Hehehe... I-I seriously don't know what you're talking about Akashi-"

"Don't fuck with me, Ryouta!" He shouted. I could just see steam coming out of his head and I was seriously scared as hell. He ran his fingers through his hair.

I sighed in defeat. I do know that someone will notice me one way or another but, I didn't expect it'd be this fast. "I guess you got me, Akashicchi. As expected..." I half lied.

"I honestly don't know what to do in this kind of situation since it's my first time experiencing it but... What I surely know is that my property is mine only." He looked at me and I can tell he's seriously being honest. What am I supposed to reply?

"Look, I'm not doing anything careless, but my feelings are for myself to decide. If I want him so badly, then I will try my best to steal him from you-"

He suddenly slammed his tiny hands on the bench and made a loud cracking noise. "Bloody hell!" He immediately stood up and his hand reached for my collar, pulling me close to his face. "Try something I wouldn't like and you're fucking dead."

I removed his hand from my shirt with the same force as his and adjusted my collar. "And who are you to tell me what to do with my life?"

With a second not to waste, Akashi's fist made contact with my upper right cheek. A hard, painful sting rushed to the spot I was hit and I was immediately brought to the ground because of my weakened knees. I was facing the floor and I used my arm to guide myself upwards. My free hand holding the place I was hit, my fingers felt something warm pouring out. I swiped the liquid and looked at my fingers; blood.

I know that it might be impossible because of the difference between our strength and size but I honestly saw it coming. Why didn't I dodge it if I had a chance, you ask? I don't know the answer either.

But all I know is that somewhere in my heart, mind, and soul, deep down, I wanted to pay for my own consequences. It's not completely my fault, it’s not theirs either. And I surely did not know that this was a way of accepting my punishments.

I... I might be selfish but,

I just want to have a happy life with the one I like.

If this is a simple wish, then why am I suffering the most?

"Cocky bastard." Akashi lifted his leg up and kicked me right on my sides with all his strength. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? You are the one who's interfering with our lives. And what makes me do this? Isn't it because I love him the way you do? And when both of you are together, wouldn't I feel the same way you do? Maybe worse?"

He paused for a moment to let the moment sink in.

"Just think about him; Tetsuya. What do you think he'll do? You are just going to make it uncomfortable to him since he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You know how he feels by now and wouldn't that be forcing him to like you back?"

Akashi heads to the door, held the handle and paused. "We both have feelings for him. And all that matters is what happens to him, right? And besides," He pulled the door open. "You can beat me up as much as you like if I made Tetsuya shed a tear of sadness."

"Let him choose."

"Pardon?"

"Let him choose who he likes the most." I stated. "Not right now, but both of us'll try to win him ours. Let's do it in a week and ask the question after."

Akashi stopped at his tracks and turned to me, "It's no use if he's already mine."

"But do you really think that I don't have a chance?"

He replied with silence.

"A week. That's long enough to get you two together. So isn't it time to get my turn?"

He chuckled, "Don't you think you had enough of a turn?"

"I could say the same to you."

He paused again, "I'm not going to say I agree to this but go ahead and do what you want," He turned outside the door. "Because in the end, I always win."

The door creaked close and his footsteps were joined with the others.

--

Both of them are thinking the same thing; winning. They only have one perspective and that's to win the heart of the one they love. The old times, they were just friends. And now, they're arch enemies. Everything is not going to be the way it used to be because now, two honoured people will clash and create an unsightly war.

But all that depends on Kuroko Tetsuya's decision whether it's right or wrong. 

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my authors notes are all crap like h o l y  c o w  m i l k is this really me what am I doing with life