In which Hannah meets a witch, two munchkins, and another witch.

"Greta...is that you?" The woman in the rainbow gown stepped forward with a smile. "What are you doing in this dream?"

Before she could answer, I did. 

Are you gonna keep questioning the logic of dreams? Get on with the story. 

The young woman pulled a card out of her pocket, looking it over. "Let's see..." she said, squinting at the name. "Are you a...Dorothy Gale, from Kansas?"

"No, I'm Hannah Ruth, from Oregon," Hannah answered. Greta frowned.

"Oh dear, I must have walked into the wrong studio." Keeping her gown from dragging the ground, she turned to leave. "I'll be on my way then."

"Wait!" The woman turned around. "You're the only friend I've got in this story, I need someone to talk to."

What's that supposed to mean?

"Please stay, I'm a million miles from home and I'm lonely and confused and you're the only friend I've got here. See, I was knocked out by peanut butter and I woke up here, all by myself. And my dog of course."

Humph.

"Isn't there anyway you can send me home? Back to Oregon? And Pugsley too? Do you know where we are?" Greta smiled and put her fingers to her teeth, whistling. A bush rustled behind her, a few giggles emitting from it. 

"Of course I know where we are, this is my vacation spot. You're in Munchkin Land, land of the...well, munchkins." Greta looked Hannah up and down, Hannah feeling very self conscious. "You don't look like a munchkin."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Hannah said brushing her hair out of her face, then making a face. "Oh, come on! Is my hair still as ratty as before?"

Having my feelings hurt a few minutes ago, I refuse to answer. Hannah continued. 

"Well, I beg your pardon my dear friend, but you don't appear to be a munchkin either."

"Of course not, I'm the Badass Witch of the Long White Cloud. But of course, you know me by my proper name. No, the munchkins are the little people who live in this land. Who should be here in about..."

Greta stood aside as two little children jumped out of the bush landing on Hannah. 

"Now," Greta finished with a smile.

One child, a boy, wore a white shirt with blue overalls and a blue hat with an orange feather on the top. The other child was a young girl, wearing the same outfit but in green and a purple feather. They giggled and teased like such merry little things, and left Hannah to run behind Greta. 

Hannah stood from the ground, dusting herself off. "These must be the uh...the munchkins?" she asked. 

"Yes, yes. This one here is Lewis-kin," she said pointing to the little boy. "and this one is Isla-kin." She pointed to the girl with rosy cheeks. In fact, both of them had the sweetest rosy cheeks of any child. "These two are the little munchkins. They're also my kin, you see. I come here often to play with them. Have you a mind to play for a bit?"

Hannah looked up to the sky.

It's fine with me, go ahead and play.

"I suppose it's alright," Hannah smiled. The two children jumped from behind Greta, each tagging Hannah with their little hands. 

"You're it!" the girl Isla cried. They both ran off, Greta taking off after them. Hannah took up a run, looking back once to check on her dog. He was still scratching, spinning in circles on the ground, barking. 

"Oh you poor thing," Hannah said stopping to give him a scratch. He snorted in response and Hannah began running again. Munchkin Land wasn't very big upon further inspection. That is, the set in the studio wasn't very large. There was only so much room to run around, the two children sneaking through the small spaces scattered around. In bushes, tunnels running through the fountain, and the like. Hannah tried her best to chase after them, but they were simply too quick. Or perhaps, that peanut butter sandwich was taking its toll. 

Greta, with a wave of her hand, had created a wooden swing laced with ivy, chained up from an overhanging vine in one of the gardens. With her magic, the backdrop held up, and she swung back and forth, her gown flowing this way and that. A little song came to her mind and out through her lips, the children's laughter ringing throughout. 

Seeing the little dog having another go at licking, Lewis stopped running and crept up to him. Isla noticed this and did the same. Motioning his hand, Lewis lead Isla up to the unsuspecting pup and wrapped his arms around him. The children laughed with glee as the dog struggled to get away.

"Here now, be gentle," Greta said merrily from her swing. "He's a force to be reckoned with, I hear."

A few seconds later and the children grimaced in disgust. They dropped the dog, running away from the horrid smell he emitted. Unaware of himself, Pugsley stumbled through the studio flowers and after falling only three times, he walked right into the backdrop. Greta immediately jumped from her swing and collected the children into her arms, running from the falling scenery. Using her magic, Greta floated off the ground and into the air, Lewis cheering and Isla waving at the tech people below. 

Down went the backgrounds, down went the waterfalls, and up went everyone's tempers. Hannah, pushing a few cameramen aside, grabbed her dog just in time. Everyone collided in a pile on the ground, the old dog having a scratch. The children grimaced again. 

"Poor thing, they put that backdrop there on purpose!" Hannah said petting her dog. 

"That dog is a menace to the community!" one of the workers yelled. "I ought to take him to the director and make sure he's destroyed!"  

"Destroyed? Pugsley? You can't! You mustn't!" Hannah used her entire body to shield her dog from the pointing fingers and the accusatory looks. "Oh, Greta, you won't let them, will you?"

"Of course I won't," Greta said sweetly. "Will we, kiddies?" Lewis and Isla shook their darling little heads, Isla's feather hat falling off. "Will we narrator?"

Eh, I guess not.

The worker, with big fat greedy hands, made his way over to the girl and her old dog. "No, no, I won't let you take him!" Hannah began throwing a fit. "You go away, or I'll bite you myself!"

"Woah, Hannah!" Greta said, mouth agape. She winked at the ceiling of the studio, knowing how scrappy her friend could really be. Lewis and Isla joined in the kicking of the studio worker. 

"Wicked old witch! I just got him back from the dead!"

"Yeah, and it cost Auntie Greta a fortune!" Lewis yelled.

"It cost me a fortune!" the worker yelled. Right before Hannah's shiny new red combat boots could kick the man in a very bad spot, Greta put a stop to all the fuss with a wave of her hand. Frozen in suspended animation, all four of them, and a dog, looked at Greta questioningly. 

"That will be enough of that, thank you." Fluffing her hair, everyone dropped to the floor as if they had been released from a spell. Lewis and Isla ran to her side, hiding behind her dress. "Hannah, dear, we can't go against the law, I'm afraid poor Pugsley will have to go."

"What?!" 

"Rules are rules, and we have work to be done. We can't have elderly dogs breaking everything, can we?"

"No, I agree completely." The worker stood from the floor and made to pick Pugsley up when Greta kicked the man herself in a very bad spot. Down to his knees he went, crying a little. 

"You have no power here, begone! Before somebody drops a house on you too!" Greta dismissed him, arms akimbo. Hannah scooped Pugsley up and wheezed as she ran to Greta's side. 

"Look, I don't want any trouble, all I want is to go home. With my dog of course."

And a friend.

"Yes, and a friend. You can drop a house on him if you like, but may I go home first? And make a new peanut butter sandwich?"

The worker coughed a bit, his very official looking hat rolling to the side. "Nobody worry about--about me, I'll bide my time...down here..."

Greta, using her foot to brush the man aside, walked to the center of the set and snapped her fingers. A broomstick came falling out of a trapdoor and landed on the ground with such a thud, that it snapped right in two. "Oh dear," Greta sighed. "That was supposed to be your ride home."

Lewis picked up a piece for himself and for his sister and they pretended to fly around the set while Greta watched them in thought. More than once they used the man on the ground as a launch pad. "Couldn't you just try to stay out of my way?" he groaned. "Just try?"

Greta clapped her hands together. "Come here, kiddos, we've got a lady to help." Without delay the children ran up to their Aunt who straightened their hats and brushed their shoulders. "Each of you, grab onto me!" Each child held a corner of her dress. "That means you too!" Hannah gasped and ran to join them, using her finger tips to grab onto the fur coat. 

"Shouldn't we follow the yellow brick road?" Hannah asked pointing to the yellow spiral beneath their feet.

"Nonsense, that's painted there for show. You can thank the man on the floor for that." With a smile and a nod in his direction, Greta used whatever power she possessed to lift the group of them off the ground and into the next room. 

Which also happened to be a studio set. The backdrop had ears of corn while a small field with the real merchandise had been placed in front of it. The floor was still painted yellow, and a brown fence blocked off the field of corn. Hannah had her eyes closed and refused to open them even after they touched ground. With a nudge, Greta got Hannah to let go of her coat and stepped aside. "Where are we?"

"You're in a cornfield!" Greta said. "Or, Studio Three, what have you."

"Auntie Greta, that was fun!"

"Can we do it again?" 

Greta smiled at her niece and nephew kindly. "Of course we can, our lunch break is about to begin!" They grabbed her hands this time, using the free hands to wave to Hannah.

"Goodbye, Miss Hannah," Isla said. "Good luck getting home!"

Using her dog's paw to wave back, Hannah saw the three of them rise into the air. "But--who will help me? Where do I go?"

"Ask for directions to the wizard, they'll show you the way."

"What wizard?" Hannah had to set Pugsley down and cough a few times. Greta was getting farther and farther away. "Where am I, how can I get home?" she yelled.

"Just follow the yellow brick road! To the cafeteria!" And just like that Greta was gone. 

"But...you said it was just painted for show," Hannah mumbled, suddenly very frightened.  She was all alone again, without a friend in the world. Poor lonely Hannah. Poor bitter, lonely, depressed, ugly Hannah. Poor--

"Hey up there, shut up!"

Humph. 

Hannah sat down on the yellow road, thinking to herself. She thought so long and hard that she didn't even notice a janitor walking next to her and placing a "Wet Paint" sign three feet from her. But she did notice her dog wandering off, and bumping his head once again into a wooden post sticking out of the ground amidst the corn.