Heart On Fire
I wake in the middle of the night with a jolt, heart pounding and eyes searching frantically across the room. At first, I'm so disoriented that I can't make out where I am. As if sensing my confusion, a large animal ambles up the bed towards me and nuzzles it's head onto my chest. I'm immediately comforted and reach to pet Kobra, finally realizing where I am and allowing my head to unscramble. My attention is brought to the weight on my bare stomach that I hadn't noticed before. Wolf's massive tattooed hand, which spans about the size of my entire head, is splayed across my stomach almost protectively covering all of my most unbearable memories. It's a strange feeling and I think about moving it off of me but can't bring myself to do it. The thought that someone as cold and seemingly heartless as Wolf Williams, who won't even allow the angelic Lucas to ride in his car, would sleep next to me (with his hand on my body no less) is kind of terrifying but also...moving? There's one thing I do know though, there is a reason that Wolf brought me to his home, allowed me to sleep in his bed. There's a reason he allows me to sit in his car and touch his dog. He even talked to me about his sister, when the rest of the crew doesn't even know she exists. I'm also most certain that there's not a single soul on earth who knows about this compound, except for me now. The question is, why? I know it's not a coincidence, I just can't piece it together. Why would some random (albeit absolutely gorgeous) thug/stranger living in Germany want anything to do with an American on the run. Despite the odd feeling I get that something is not quite right, there's also a strong sense of safety that I feel with Wolf. I've always had a gut feeling for who the bad guys are, my intuition is pretty spot on. I don't get that from him. I know there is something he is hiding, or a few somethings, and I get the sense that I somehow tie into that. However, for now I feel that the safest option for me is to stick with him while simultaneously investigating what it is he wants with me.
I attempt to shift my weight without waking Wolf, but he removes his hand and turns his back towards me rapidly. Like a spooked hermit crab shifting back into it's shell. As I drift back to sleep, I begin to dream of what my mother used to say to me as a child. Only this time, I hear it in Wolf's voice as if he is whispering it to me from across the bed.
"Im Viktoriapark, sind wir frei."
I had forgotten those words until now. She only spoke to me cryptically in German when I was a child. As I got older my father, who is of Russian decent, would tell her to stop filling my head with that bullshit language and insisted we only speak English or Russian in the house. Why didn't I run to Russia instead? Oh right, because I'd likely be killed instantly. My father had contacts all over the world. Except in Germany. Luckily for me, I think he hated that my mother was German so much so that he refused to do any business with her home country. It definitely worked to my advantage as my only other option was India and the traffic there terrifies me.
I never did know what it was that my mother said to me all those years ago. She would read me poems or grab my face and insist that I look into her eyes while she spoke quickly in a language I could barely understand. I always got the feeling like she was urging me to do something. I couldn't make sense of why she wouldn't just say it in English if it was so important. Maybe she knew my father was listening.
I wake abruptly, again, but this time I'm guessing it's the morning because I feel more rested than I have in years. Though I can't be sure because there's obviously no windows in this strange concrete house. Loud music is what got me this time and I jump out of bed to assess the situation. It appears Wolf has left clothes at the foot of the bed for me, black pants and a long sleeve black shirt which both suspiciously happen to be my size. At least he's consistent with my cat burglar dress code. Wolf and Kobra are both long gone so I slip on the clothes and my converse before treading carefully through the hallway, wary of what I might find. The music isn't coming from inside the house, so I slip into the "camera room" as I like to call it. I check the monitors and see a large fire engulfing one of the screens, appearing to be blazing across the weeds. My heart spikes at the sight of Kobra running around the fire. I frantically run to the front door of the compound and find that I can't get out, which makes me panic even more. What if Wolf locked me in here and is planning to set the place on fire?! I rush back to the camera room for other clues and as the screen shifts, it appears that the fire is actually contained and that Wolf is chopping wood with an axe. Half naked as always, glistening in the sun. I can't stand the way my insides turn to jell-o when he flexes his muscles.
Still, even if he's not planning on trapping me in here and frying my brains out, I'm stuck in this foreign home of his. I search around the room trying to find a way to alert him or get him to come inside. There are a bunch of small black buttons with words that I don't recognize on the wall near the monitors, followed by a large red button. I know this is going to piss him off, but I'm going to press it anyway because I will not be a prisoner and I need to make that very clear. I take a deep breathe and press the button, unsure of what will happen next. Within seconds an alarm sounds off so loudly that I crouch to the floor and fly under the desk that the computer monitors are sitting on. I cover my ears with my arms and huddle into fetal position, praying that I did not just summon the devil himself. It sounds like one of those death day alarms that you hear when a tornado hits or something. What seems like seconds later, Wolf storms in shirtless and out of breathe. His eyes are wild and searching until he zeroes in on me.
"You" he spits, pointing a finger down at me. "Get up" he commands with the most severe amount of irritation and disgust possible as he slams on a blue button, ceasing the alarm. "You could have killed us, you cannot be so stupid. That button is for emergencies Skye. I knew it was a terrible idea to bring you here" he continues with rage.
I stare up at him in equal parts defiance and rage. "It WAS an emergency Wolf. You see, I couldn't help but to notice that I am trapped here. Did you want to explain that? Why can't I get out of the house on my own?" I half shout.
He pauses for a moment in thought and the muscles on his face relax slightly. "The code Skye." He smirks as if something is funny. "I left the code to the door on the nightstand by the bed."
"Oh." I look down and shuffle my right foot like I'm getting dust off the floor with my toes. "Thank you. By the way, I never asked you to bring me here. You're aware of that right?"
"Yes, I'm aware of that. But I had no other choice. If you press that button again, I will have to kill you." A loud giggle escapes my lips but his grim expression doesn't change.
"Oh. You're not joking are you." He just stares at me for what feels like 5 minutes, but is probably closer to 20 seconds, before changing the subject.
"Breakfast. Come. You will eat before we train" he states flatly, with no emotion as he walks out into the hall leaving me behind.
I struggle to keep up with his strides down the hall as my legs are tiny and he is an amazon. "Train? Like what train? Are you taking me back to Hana's house on the train?" Clearly he's unamused by my humor after that little stunt I pulled. I was beginning to think he was tolerating me slightly but now I think I'm back on his shit list.
"No. You are weak" he continues, without turning back to address my actual existence.
"Excuse me, but kindly fuck off. You have no idea where I come from."
He whirls on his feet and glares down at me, stopping me in my tracks. "I know exactly where you come from, it is you that does not know where I come from. Do not test me Läuferin. I saw the scars. This will not happen again, yes? You need to train."
I scoff and fold my arms. "Hold it Mr. Miyagi, you're blaming me for being a child with a ruthless and abusive father? Obviously I was powerless when I was younger, don't be a dick Wolf" I sneer. "But you have no idea what I am capable of and what I have done."
We stop at the kitchen island and he plants his large palms on the counter, leaning forward to level with me. He peers into my eyes for a moment, and I can see the wheels turning in his mind. "It's true" he states. "Only the child of a ruthless man can truly know what it is to become ruthless themselves."
"Speaking from experience?" I quip.
He peers back at me with the blankest of expressions. Tough crowd, I think to myself. "What you do in a moment of passion or emotional reactivity is not the same thing as being able to protect yourself in all situations" he continues.
"No one can protect themselves in all situations" I retort.
"Wrong. If you think like me, you do not dance with fear. Fear will be the death of you before the hand of any man. You need to control your emotions. They cannot take from you what you do not have. Remove anything to lose, and you cannot lose."
"Why do you care so much?" I question, my hands planted firmly on my hips like a middle-aged soccer mom getting ready to bust her kid for eating a cookie before dinner.
"I do not care about anthing. That, is rule number one. Learn it immediately." He grabs a plate of food wrapped in saran wrap that he must have made earlier this morning and pushes it across the island toward me. "Eat." he commands. Although every bone in my body wants me to defy him at every chance I get, the food smells delicous and my stomach starts to growl as I assess the egg whites, sausage and potatoes he made.
"What is Meeyajee?" he asks in a very adorable accent mixed with a very serious facial expression as I chew my food. It's so out of character of him that I snort and nearly choke.
Wolf glares at me, grabs his bottle of water, and walks out of the room without another word.
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After I finish breakfast, which was surprisingly really good, I run out into the field to meet Wolf. "What's that button for by the way?" I ask as he leads me to a small clearing where the weeds have been cut away, Kobra keeping so close to me that he brushes up against my leg here and there. I think Wolf's getting used to our friendship now because he doesn't snap at Kobra when he gets too close to me anymore.
"It is a signal that something is wrong. Kobra pushes it if there is an unknown sound or something out of the usual, and I would push it myself to confuse or ward someone off who may get too close. To give me time to escape."
"Why would you need to escape? And how does Kobra know when to push a button?" I ask, tilting my head up at him in curiosity.
"Dogs are smarter than you think. Besides, it's only been in practice. Luckily no one has ever found us" he replies while moving a stack of wood out of the way. I take a moment to appreciate the way his muscles flex and the way his tattoos are highlighted in the sun. He's wearing black jeans with his Calvin Klein underwear sticking out slightly, underlining his very sculptured V-lines. Of course he wears Calvin Klein because he's probably a part-time fashion model when he's not being the world's most mysterious street gang member. I would believe it with that jawline and unruly hair.
"Um. Are you going to wear a shirt. Ever?" I taunt.
"I am faster this way" he sniffs and looks away, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Kobra, sitzen" he commands. I understand that it likely means "sit", as that's what the dog does.
Wolf wastes no time as he lunges to grab my wrist, which I block just as quickly, twisting his arm back with ease. Shock and amusement betray his normally stoic face.
"Good." He nods, going again for my neck. I grab both of his arms and pull down with all my force before kicking him in the shin.
He grimaces and stares down at his leg before looking back up at me in disbelief. "Did you just...kick me?" he asks quietly.
"You grabbed my neck!" I yell exasperatedly.
"You are better than I suspected, but still..." he spins around me in a split second and grabs me around my waist closing in on my arms. I struggle violently in his arms, hating the thrill that runs up my spine in response to his muscles wrapped around me. I can smell the peppermint and pine, clean and fresh, on his neck.
He whispers into my ear, sending my stomach muscles into a frenzy. "Do you see Skye? You become angry, I easily take you. You're dead now. Your heart, it is a distraction. I can feel it beating rapidly."
His arms loosen around me but I don't dare move. His posture softens and he begins to take in a deep breath. "See..." he whispers to me on his out breath, his own nervous system regulating mine with his breathing. My body melts into his and I relax immediately. We breathe together for a few moments, our chests rising and falling in time with one another.
When I can feel that we're both totally calm, I slam down on his arms and break myself free, jabbing my right elbow into his sternum before turning and holding the pocket knife I had hidden in my pocket to his throat. Kobra growls but Wolf lifts his palm to the dog and he quiets abruptly.
"Perfekt" Wolf mutters breathlessly toward me in admiration. "You are stronger than I thought" he admits while looking off into the distance. As if he can't bare to compliment me and hold eye contact at the same time. I remove the knife and our eyes meet. There is turmoil in his that I can't quite make sense of and he quickly turns his gaze away again before I get the chance to.
"Now who's giving themselves away?" I smirk. "The teacher becoming the master." His eyes slide back to me in irritation. "'You must not show emotion Skye', ' you must be strong Skye'" I roll my eyes and scoff. "You must not show any signs of liking me Wolf. It will be the death of you" I tease, mimicking his cryptic tone and words.
"We are not done here. We will continue tomorrow. For now, we have somewhere to be" he says as he stalks off, expecting me to follow. Of course I do, because I'm afraid I'll be worse off getting locked out of the house than I would be getting locked in.
"Here" Wolf grunts while handing me a towel and body wash. "You will find everything you need in the bathroom attached to my sister's room. Her closet is full of clothes. Luckily it seems they fit you, even though she's 15" he grins smugly at the clothes I'm wearing, the ones he left for me this morning. Was that a joke from Wolf Williams? "Take what you want, then we will go."
"Go where?" I ask in annoyance. He stalks out of Madelene's room without a word, Kobra trailing behind him.
Before hopping in the shower, I look around the room for clues. Clues about Madelene, about Wolf, about his life, anything really. The only thing in here other than clothes and feminine products is the picture of Wolf and Madelene. I pick it up and flip it over. I find "01/19/06" written on the back. There's no way the picture was taken in 2006, because Madelene would be an infant, so it has to be her birthday. Interesting fact, but not really worth much to me so I set the picture back down and head into the bathroom, which is decorated in various light blue shades. The hot water hits my skin and I close my eyes, leaning back against the cool tile wall. For a moment, I let everything fade away and allow myself sink into a memory of Liam and I at the beach. He made a picnic for us and brought all my favorite foods, strawberries, nutella sandwhiches, Trader Joe's garlic pita bread (I'm most regretful of leaving that behind). A smile tugs at my face as I remember Liam with a trail of nutella smeared across his cheek, which he was completely oblivious too. I miss Liam. Good natured, kind, optimistic Liam. He's nothing like Wolf. I would give anything to trade the two. I think. Then again, if Liam were with me in this situation he would be the first to get us caught and likely the first to be killed. He doesn't know jack shit about survival. I once taught him how to change his tire when he got a flat on the highway. Liam came from the "right" side of the tracks, loving parents, a family of scholars and doctors, and people who had probably never stepped foot in the kinds of places my father frequented. I shake the thoughts and comparisons between Liam and Wolf away, reaching for the shampoo.
Wolf wasn't lying when he said I'd have everything I needed. Right down to tampons and hair tools under the sink. I wonder if Madelene lived here once before or if he's just stocked things in case she does ever come from wherever she is. I grab the blow dryer and brush my hair out, styling it inwards to frame my face. After looking through Madelene's closet, I settle on a chunky oversized gray flannel, a black crop top, and high waisted jeans. After last night, I decided I don't need to hide my scars, I don't care anymore. Maybe they will help make me look more intimidating anyway. Especially around Lena, although I imagine my little outburst from the night before did a pretty good job of scaring her off.
I head out and Wolf gives me a subtle double take with the slightest nod of appreciation. Maybe I'm imagining things. He walks me through the forrest of weeds back to his car. I thank him awkwardly after he opens my door. Kobra climbs into the back and grumbles like a grown man. I think he's sick of Wolf and I's shit at this point.
We drive along the highway listening to Måneskin and I tilt my seat back, letting my hand drift out the open window. My eyes close and I welcome the rush. I'm already used to Wolf's erratic and impossibly fast driving, I don't even bat an eye when he swerves and drifts through the streets of Berlin.
When we finally pull up to an abandoned road under the freeway, we're met by the entire crew standing together around a familiar vehicle. An orange Nissan 370Z. Klaus's car, I think to myself. That weird Machine Gun Kelly clone who tried to buy me from Wolf like an object. Why would his car be here?
A short girl in a horrid pink leather outfit and a pink ski mask around her head comes bounding around excitedly to Wolf like a puppy. I can smell that it's Lena from her sheer inadequacy and blatant disregard for my presence. She rips off the ski mask, leaving a trail of foundation on the fabric.
"Look what I brought for you Wolf" she purrs, attempting her best American accent. She splays her tattooed arms out toward the car like an eager salesman. Hanna and I shoot a look at each other from across the lot before she rolls her eyes at Lena and I have to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. Lena sneers at me momentarily before pasting a smile back on her face and looking up at Wolf expectantly.
I sense his irritation and step closer to him on instinct. Lena's head snaps in my direction, as she glares daggers through my eyes.
"What. Did you do. Lena?" Wolf hisses through gritted teeth. Her face falters and she shifts on her feet.
"I snuck into Anton's shop and took Klaus's car, for you" she replies confidently, having regained her footing. She calls to one of the other girls named Sophie to step forward and a girl with dark curly hair, who is carrying a baseball bat, comes running up to us. Lena grabs the bat and hands it to Wolf with a smirk.
"You really are stupid" I snort.
"Excuse me?" She screeches. "Wolf!" she turns to him pleadingly. "You can't let her talk to me like that!"
"She's right" he states quietly.
Lena turns to me with a faux look of sympathy and a hand on her heart, before laughing in my face. "Thank you!" she chirps to Wolf. "You can leave now silly American girl. Go get your eyes fixed, freak."
I lunge at her, but Wolf grabs me and pulls me to his chest, like we were earlier in the field. He takes a deep breathe in close to my ear to signal me to calm my body. I'm transported back to the peaceful field, I hear the constant stream of the lake nearby, I can feel the way our chests moved up and down together. I open my eyes, looking back at him and nodding. He glances back at Lena after he is sure I am calm.
"I meant Skye is right. Do not disrespect her again Lena, you will regret it" he warns venemously. I'm finding him more attractive by the moment, which I didn't think was even possible. "Leave, now." The entire crew sucks in a collective breathe as they watch the interaction.
"But Wolf-" she sputters but he cuts her off with a hand. He whistles to Lucas who comes and takes Lena to drive her home.
I turn toward him and mouth the words thank you, to which he responds with a single nod. He calls to Hanna and asks for something, and she complies by walking over and handing him a black ski mask with holes cut out around the eyes. He places it over his head and stalks toward the Nissan, dragging the bat along the ground. Lucas has the video camera on his phone turned on, filming the whole thing. I hold my breathe as Wolf smashes the windows in, shattering each one to pieces. He then moves on to the hood, followed by the rest of the car until it is completely ruined. He clicks his tongue and a younger boy runs up and pours liquid on the car. As Wolf saunters back toward me, he pulls a metal lighter out of his pocket, flicks the lid open and throws it behind him. The car shoots up in flames. All I can see now are his tattoos against the backdrop of the raging fire. He looks like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. In this moment, there is no Koren, no mom, no Liam, no Lena. There is only me and Wolf. I can tell he feels it too, because out of the 50 people standing around us, his eyes remain trained on mine. He comes as close to me as he can get without melting onto me and I instinctively lift my arm and pull his mask off gently. He smirks down at me and we get caught looking at each other for what seems like an eternity before his cell phone goes off.
"Ja" he clips into the phone in annoyance. A man who I can only assume is Klaus, as he is screaming and mixing his german words with American profanities, is on the other line. My ears perk up when I hear my name. How does he even know my name? I remind myself to get more information out of Wolf about this guy and what he has to do with me later. But my heart skips a beat completely and I lose my breathe when Klaus shrieks the word "Viktoriapark" at the top of his lungs, repeating it almost as if it were a chant. Wolf cuts the call off and throws his phone into the fire across the lot.
"What was that?" I hiss at him. But he ignores me and stalks over to a group of men huddled in the corner, one of which hands Wolf a new phone. Probably a burner like mine.
Hanna jogs over to me and pulls me into a hug. "Are you ok Liebling?" she asks frantically, checking to make sure all my bones are in tact. When she sees my stomach she stops short and her face twists in horror. "Scheiße! I will fucking kill him!" she screeches, shooting a look of disgust in Wolf's direction.
"What?! No, Hanna, no. It...it wasn't Wolf. It was...someone from back home. In America." Her eyes widen but she seems to quickly understand and nods her head slowly.
"The one you are running from?"
"Something like that." I sigh, wanting to collapse into bed and fall asleep next to Wolf. The only person I feel truly safe with, oddly enough."But Hanna, I need to ask you something."
"Anything" she says with sincerity, her bright blue eyes full of concern.
"What is Viktoriapark?" I ask, keeping my voice low to avoid anyone eavesdropping.
Her eyes shoot open for a second time and she looks around to be sure no one heard me. Which is certainly not reassuring to say the least. She dips her head and speaks lowly in response.
"To a tourist? It's a beautiful park, with gardens and waterfalls, overlooking all of Berlin. The only place to really do so actually. To us? It is a symbol of something totally different and a place we are forbidden to go. It's the one place that Wolf cannot protect us."
"Why?" I wonder aloud. What could possibly be scary enough that even Wolf would avoid it.
"Because it belongs to 'die Viper' or 'The Viper', no one knows her real name. From what I've heard she is not anyone I want to meet in this lifetime, the stories are gruesome. Anyway, she runs that jurisdiction and makes a lot of profit on the dealings that go on in that area."
"Hanna...I think I'm connected to her somehow" I confess. Which is risky, but I have a sense that I can trust her with this. "Klaus, he mentioned a woman that 'won't stop until she has me' or something. And I just heard him shout my name into the phone followed by 'Viktoriapark' repeatedly."
Hanna all but jumps back and eyes me like I've just told her I've come down with the plague. "That cannot be" she clicks her tongue and shakes her head like she's about to say 10 "hail mary's" on the spot. "You have to run Skye. Do you hear me? RUN."
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