The Wolf

She reads book as one would breath air; to fill up and to live.
-Annie Dillard

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to bake at all." The very handsome guy in front of me apologizes, but all I can do is stare blankly and nod. "I also hate heat or fire for that matter, so I can't really shove anything in the oven either. Is there anything I can do?"

"Me- I mean," I cough awkwardly, thankful that he didn't catch on to my blunt sexual reply. "Ms. Melmany doesn't really care what we do. You could sit at the counter and finish homework, or read, or nap."

"Really?" His face lights up, and the small smile that was already there widens, making me blink dumbly.

And they say Chase Wilson is the hottest guy at school.

Obviously everyone around here is blind.

"You'd let me off the hook like that?" He asks, breathing out in relief. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I giggle, waving him off. "I love to bake, so it's not a problem. But I didn't really put you on a hook in the first place, you put that obligation on yourself."

"Oh," He, the cute guy who is now my Home Ed. partner, says. "I guess you're right."

My breath catches in my throat from the boyish grin he gives me, and I swear my heart suddenly decides to be spastic. 

Holy fuck, why is it pounding so hard?

All he did was smile at me.

Attractiveness.

Tsk.

"What's your name?" I ask, leaning on a elbow, only to instantly slip on the clean surface and send myself tumbling to the ground. 

The guy, who's- -thanks to my clumsy stunt- -name I still don't know, shoots forward and wraps his arms around my waist, nearly picking me up as he crushes me into his chest. I'm pretty sure face planting into a concrete block would have been more comfortable. 

He saved me.

I nearly swoon at the action.

Hormones.

Tsk.

I notice something, something I had somehow previously missed, he's huge.

As in massive.

He's well over my head, but that doesn't say much seeing as I'm only 5'1- -I know it's unlikely since I'm a senior but I bet my mom and I will grow- -but he seems around my dad's height.

And my dad is almost 6'6.

I'm practically a third of his size, and the entire length of my shoulders equal one of his. 

His arms are as thick as small tree trunks, and I'm guessing the hardness under my palm is the muscle he earned.

I appear like a child next to him, but hey, that's just more person to love.

Ugh, I sound like Mom.

That is not a good thing, when it comes to things like this, it's fine other than that.

I usually sound like my dad.

Which is not a good thing, ever.

"You okay?" He says, scanning my face. I blink my eyes open, just realizing I shut them. "I didn't crush you, did I?"

"No," I say, sounding more confident than I am when I step from his hold. "I'm fine, sorry."

"It's okay, everyone can be a little clumsy." He smiles at me, stopping my heart. "I'm Asher, since you didn't give me a chance to answer, klutz."

I giggle again, wondering at the exact same time what is wrong with me. 

I never giggle like this -like some school girl.

"Nice name, but there's no way I'm telling you mine after the embarrassing stunt I just pulled." I say, shaking my head. "Just act like I never existed." I hold up my hands before expanding them like I'm throwing glitter. "Poof, see I'm gone."

"You're not," Asher protests. "I'm staring right at you."

"Nah," I deny, grinning wide enough that I show off my sharp teeth. Thanks Dad, for giving them to me. "Not me."

Asher shakes his head, dipping it and his eyes drop down to his feet.

I raise a eyebrow at the sight of black shoes with gold rims.

Gold shoes. 

My head snaps back up, a light blush crawling onto my cheeks as I examine his neck -seeing exactly what I was looking for. 

A scar in the shape of perfect circle.

It's only now, at this age, I realize it's much too perfect.

Almost like a cigarette. 

I hate heat.

Snapping my eyes up to his striking mint green ones I blow out a relieved breath when I realize he didn't catch me staring.

I really hope that somehow I'm wrong, but out of all the people around us I would know what a cigarette burn looks like.

"So you're really not going to tell me your name?" Asher asks, knocking me from my thoughts. I shake my head, crossing my arms stubbornly. "Then what am I supposed to call you?"

I scrunch up my nose, tilting my head. "Use you're imagination, Gold." 

He doesn't catch the name.

I find myself giggling at him, which only makes him frown lightly.

"I can't keep falling you klutz, not unless you are one." He says.

I shake my head again. "Nope, usually I can walk in a straight line."

Thankfully this gets him smiling again. 

"Then what about Blue?" He asks, licking across his lips. Biting my own, I shrug as if to ask why. "You're eyes." Asher explains. "They're very blue."

"Yeah," I nod. "That's fine."

"Great," There's that boyish smile again. "Blue it is."

It's been a week since me and Asher talked, I find myself craving conversations with him.

I always catch myself staring at him in class, having to bite my lip when I do.

He just looks too good when he ruffles his hair, or grins down at a paper, or even scowls slightly in frustration.

This boy is just attractive all around.

Him and his best friend, who I know now is Lincoln Lewis, have gym with me.

They usually talk while running around, or sparring, and not once have either of them caught me staring at Gold -I am invisible to them.

Which is understandable.

Not a lot of people see me.

I don't have any friends, and I'm not exaggerating, no secret best friend or group of people outside of school I hang out with.

Zero friends.

What I do have, however, is Luci.

He's my dog, and the best dog ever, given when he's not being the best dog ever we call him Lucifer, must to my dad's dismay.

He has a whole devil thing going on, something I don't really understand since my dad is the goofiest, yet stupidest, person I know.

I come in as a close second.

It came in a rush to me yesterday while I watched Asher glare cutely down at his math homework, that I have a crush on him.

One I don't see going away any time soon.

And by that I mean I accidentally started talking about him while eating with my parents and now they won't stop asking me about it, which makes me talk non-stop.

Talking about him is the most I speak daily, and I'm glad I finally have a good reason to waste oxygen.

So it's a extreme shock to me while I'm stretching that two massive figures are suddenly towering over me.

I squeak and fall back, once again saved by Asher -who grips my wrist tightly before dropping his hold.

And with it something else inside me drops.

His hands are so cold, like they're made out of ice.

"You sure you're not clumsy?" He asks, smiling politely at me. "Because that's twice now I've had to catch you."

"Yes," I snap slightly, rolling my eyes as I defend myself. "You just surprised me." Because no one ever talks to me. "Did you need something or..."

We have Home Ed. together right before our lunch hour, which we also share, and then gym at the very end of the day.

"Nope," He says. "Just wanted Link to meet you."

"Oh." I say, frowning up to him. "Why?"

"Yeah," His friend turns to glare. "Why?"

"Don't have to sound so mad about meeting me," I tell him, making Lincoln's head snap over to me. His red hair falls in his eyes, but that doesn't stop his glare. "I'm sure I'm not that ugly at first glance."

"Right," He replies sardonically. "It takes until the second one to kick in."

"Both of you be nice." Asher scolds us, making us scowl in sync. "Blue meet Link and Link meet Blue, I doubt she'll tell you her real name."

"I'll tell you if you won't tell him." I say instantly, watching as Gold's eyes narrow at me and Link smiles mischievously. "Full name trade?" 

He takes my outstretched hand and shakes it, making mine feel like a kid's based on how large it is compared to mine. "Deal."

I pull my phone out from my pocket, unlocking it before I quickly type out my full name. He reads it, nods, then motions for me to put it away.

"Lincoln Levi Lewis." He says.

I whistle lowly, ""You're just one big L, aren't you Weasley?" I ask his best friend, who glares at me for the Harry Potter reference. "I like Levi though, that's my grandpa's name."

He's actually my great grandpa, but with Papa Levi you wouldn't be able to tell. 

Most of my families married young, so he's only in his eighties. 

Same thing goes for grams.

"Why can't I know your name?" Asher asks, frowning.

"Turn that frown upside down Gold," I wink at him. "You look much better with a smile."

"Thanks," He says, somehow missing he name as he think's I'm being sincere- -which my words were totally honest- -instead of flirting with him. 

"Can you make a lemon cake tomorrow?" He randomly asks. "I have a serious craving."

I have a serious craving for you.

Flirting.

Tsk.

"Yeah," I giggle. "Sounds good."

"Lemon cake it is."

"It's so good." Asher says, groaning slightly. 

I smirk and wink at him, finally looking up from my book. "I know I am."

"I was talking about the cake," Gold says, flushing slightly as he gives me a small smile. "But I won't take this win away from you."

I wasn't claiming a win idiot, I was flirting with you.

"Well thanks Gold," I sigh, pulling my book out. "I owe you one."

"Then can I get another cake?" He asks, making me giggle and nod. 

That's the end of the conversation, which is really as long as any other ones between us last, but I'm aware of his studying me with a smile while he eats his cake.

For once I'm not unnerved by it, but I don't think it's deeper then it is.

He's just trying to figure out what kind of person I am.

He's not enjoying looking at me.

So I get lost, completely submerged into a world that actually makes me smile when this world doesn't.

"So why don't you just kill yourself, someone like you doesn't belong." I snap my head up at the jock's last sentence. 

I wasn't aware he was speaking until now.

I don't care who he is, no one gets to say that to another person -especially if this person just happens to be my crush.

He's known as somewhat of a freak, and not in the good kind of way. 

Asher isn't even that weird -he's that nice, sweet, usually smiling and never angry kind of guy. He's also very quiet. 

But hey, I can't complain, I don't talk much either. 

 "Need a mint, or just some extra toilet paper?" I ask, my voice overly rude and snappy making the baseball player glare at me and for Asher's head to snap to me looking startled. 

Hey, he's looking at me for once, like actually what-the-fuck-is-that looking at me.

And Mason Dallas is looking at me.

Tsk, jocks.

"Because shit comes out at both ends when it comes to you." I continue, not bothering to quiet down when he hand slams onto my table.

Before I know it I'm pulled out of my chair, my book dropping to the ground. 

Due to the suddenly silent classroom it's the loudest thing around. 

"Excuse me?" The jock, Mason, sneers in my face. 

"Who the fuck are you to tell me something like that." I scoff, wiping at the saliva on my face. 

"More importantly who the fuck are you to be spitting on me like this." I pause, tilting my head. "But most importantly, who are you to tell someone to go kill themselves? What gives you the right to decide who should live or die? You're not a god, don't act like it." 

He shoves me back, right into Asher's desk. "Oh, and you are?"'

"No, but at least I know that." I growl, standing my ground. 

Mason rolls his head, heading back to his own chair. 

I relax in relief, about to walk away when a hand curls around my wrist. "Thanks." Asher says, a small smile on his face.

"Don't mention it, Gold." I reply, going to pick up my book.

He doesn't say anything about the nickname, but I doubt he remember either.

Oh well, back to reading I go.