While reading books, that brought out ideals of grown men she seemed, at once, some demon's mistress, or the devil's self.
-John Keats

"I don't feel very human anymore." I tell Anderson, since he asked me what was wrong. Apparently he realized it was more than just Travis.

So I told him what happened, sometimes I swear he's more therapist than my doctor.

Still and asshole though.

"What do you feel like then?" He asks me, crossing his arms as he leans against the wall.

"...like a devil." I tell Dr. Tate, looking down.

"I'm sorry you got broken up with Wolf...especially from a relationship like that." I snort, trying hard not to let him see I want to cry.

"You didn't know anything about my relationship." I tell him, because he only met Asher once and it's not like I was real open about it.

"I know you've never been in one serious enough you'd let them in the hospital room. I also know when I called him your fiance you looked like you were actually considering it. And your dad called him your boy. The Devil doesn't lay claim like that to just anyone. So yeah kid, I'm sorry." He continues to apologize, eyes so much softer than I'm used to.

"It's okay Anderson. You know what they say, roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two." I muse, glancing through the collection of books on my hospital bed side.

I've been here for three days, my parents are on a huge vacation with all their friends. At first they were going to cancel it, but it had been planned for months. I made them go, they need a break from me anyway.

A common theme apparently.

"You should stop trying to act like everything is okay Wolf. That's not good." Anderson advice's me.

"I'm going to ignore that part of my life until it goes away." I reply honestly.

"That won't work."

"Yeah, I'm ignoring that part too."

Evan called me dumb, so I decided to be dumb. That's exactly what he told Anderson when he snitched on me like that asshole can stop my stupid.

"Did you blow in from stupid town?" The asshole insults my cousin, clowering at Evan while Evan clowers at me. "You can't call her things like that and act the way you do and expect a person like her to just sit around a do nothing. In the state she's in her revenge will be silent and dangerous. Do you see where she is right now because of you? Do you? DO YOU?"

Evangelos keeps staring at me -I'm in the pillars near the roof of common room, quite content sitting on the hard metal twenty feet above everyone's head. I even have three books with me, and don't plan on going down until Evan leaves or I finish them.

Books still aren't enough anymore.

Or an unfortunate circumstance causes me to drop like a bug.

"What do you need?" Anderson, who actually knows me quite well, asks.

"I want him gone. He doesn't even like me and people who don't like me shouldn't be the ones in a hospital with me. I want my brother or parents. No one else. I don't need anyone else. I just want to sit here and read or sleep and I can't sleep," I growl, the subject irritating me more than it should. "So read it is."

"Okay. Security!" I almost surprised when Anderson calls a passing security guard out, pointing to my gaping cousin. "Take this boy outside and make sure he stays there. Be a rough as you want."

To say it's amusing to watch Evan struggle in the larger males arms would be a understatement, especially since he curses me the entire way out.

"Thanks, asshole. Feels like I can breath now." I confess, not knowing how much stress Evan out on me. I open a book, Dandelion Wine.

We've always disliked each other, even as babies.

Our parents used to call us twins, because our birthdays are so close, but that was before I smashed his head into the table through our birthday cake when I was five.

Hatred grew young.

"What else do you need? Food?" Dr. Tate pauses just in time to hear my stomach grumble. "Your stomach is telling me you need food."

"Ignore it. My stomach doesn't know what it's talking about." I joke, not lifting my eyes from my page.

"Okay, then keep talking to me. Let's make sure your heart keeps talking right."

"What are you distracting me from?" I ask, now suspicious. Anderson doesn't do unnecessary talking like this, and he trusts me enough to if I think somethings hella wrong, I'll find him. And I will.

Obviously something is up.

Tsk.

Secrets.

"Nothing, nothing." Anderson brushes it off in a lie. "Read out from your page."

Taking a second to ignore the lie and compose myself I do just that. "And often I find the new ages filled with depression. Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I'm one of them. My reality always seems to be skewed and..." I trail off, my eyebrows furrowed in a thick line as I see the flash of ginger hair around the corner.

"And?" Anderson pries on, trying to get me to focus again.

"And what the fuck is going on here? You know what, don't answer. Just go away. I want to read."

"Then come down. We can go to your room and-"

"No!" I snap, glaring. "Here is fine. Here no one can make me do jack-shit. Here I don't have to be human. So please, feel free to go in thay small, confined, chemical laced, too-familiar sight of a hospital room and stay there. You know damn well the reason I'm not on the roof is because its raining. So leave me alone."

"Fine." Dr. Tate says stiffly. "I'll leave you alone."

A response never comes from me, for I had already begun to read Dandelion Wine again.

I don't know how much time has passed, but I'm nearly a hundred pages away from the end when all the lights cut out and I'm left in total darkness.

A small growl leaves me as I have to blindly pack my books into the tote bag I bought, my jaw clenching as I have to go down the pillar in the pitch black.

Though what really freaks my out is when I land, a hand smacks into the side of my boob and makes me tip over and for me to growl loudly at however did that.

"Disgusting. Please don't tell me that was your-"

"Weasley?" I interrupt, astounded that Link is in front of me. "What the fuck? Why are you here, you okay?"

"Well I was. Then I accidentally touched you and now I've probably contacted something...ah, anyway. Dr. What's-his-face told me you'd be here and to bring you to your room if possible." Lincoln explains but not really, and can probably sense my confusion. "So I have news. Asher had a panic attack and ended up here." At this panic begins to flood me instead. "And it was recommend that I tell you before you got there that Anderson moved a second bed in your room and that's where he's staying. Probably going to be there for around three days. Which seems unnecessary to me."

"Andersons a asshole like that." I mutter, mind racing. "Asher's here? As in in this building. In my hospital room?" Panic increases. "What? Why would -that doesn't even make sense. I told him, I told him -and, and...h-he needs to stay away from me. He said it, said it himself. I just don't understand how he's here right now."

"Elle. Elle. Eliza!" Lincoln's shout finally catches my attention. "Calm down."

"H-he can't be around me Link. Please, please understand. Your his best friend. Please. He can't be around me." I didn't think I'd ever be this vunerable in front of this red head.

Yet here I am.

Emotionally vunerable as shit.

In front of this fucking red head.

"You won't even have to look at him if you don't want to." He keeps talking softly, like I might shatter if he does it loud. "Promise."

"The problem isn't him. It's me. He told me I'd trigger him, because now he associates me with bad memories." I say. "I'm the problem. I can't be around him without hurting him. No thank you, hard pass on that. I'm not hurting him more than I already have."

"You haven't hurt him." Link says gently, clearly trying to keep me calm.

I got him kidnapped. I got fucking kidnapped and because I was too scared of some guy and blacked out I have no idea what happened. I don't know how we got saved. I don't know if he got hurt or not. If I did. If something happened more than these burns. I don't know anything. It's all my fault. He went through something traumatic again because of me. Because of me. I can't stand that and neither should he. 

"Wolf!" My last name is shouted down the hall, making my panic stall as I recognize Anderson's voice. "If you're not in your room in thirty seconds I'm going to make Henry clean it all day tomorrow."

Not creepy Henry!

Panic sets in for a different reason, gripping my bag tightly I start stumbling down the hall, accidentally slamming into the door frame before tripping and landing on the floor. "I'm here! I'm here. Call the creeper off." 

"Thought so." That asshole's smug voice cuts through the air, crouching over me with a chuckle. "You look a little shorter than usual. Did something happen?"

"No. Shrunk with old age. Yes something happened," I growl. "I fell you ass."

"Calm down. How's your heart?" He asks, glancing over me. "Any new developments?"

"Few bruises...but I'm okay." I say, holding a hand up to him.

"I can see that. How'd this happen?"
Instead of helping me up Dr. Tate grabs my upper arm and tightens his hold on my hand to examine my wrist -the one Evan bruised in the shape of a hand from pulling on my sensitive burnt skin so fucking hard.

"Take a wild guess. Starts with a 'E' ends with a Security-threw-him-out. I really think this question might be a little too sophisticated for you." I spew all this bullshit to avoid one thing in the room -Asher.

The one things I'm oh so overly aware is sitting on the hospital bed openly gawking at the scene in front of him.

"Evan did this?" I nod. "When?"

"When he picked me up from school and put me in this hell hole." I tell him, scowling. "You shouldn't be surprised. He does that a lot."

"I'm surprised your dad hasn't kicked his ass yet." Anderson replies.

"Mom won't let him," I sigh. "Says Dad isn't aloud to punch my Aunt's kids. Even if my cousins are annoying. I'm not either."

"Which explains a lot."

I only hum in reply, wishing that I was somewhere else. Or had my nose in a book. Or maybe just asleep.

Man, do I really wish I could just sleep.