Maybe this is why we read, and in moments of darkness we return to books: To bring light into the world -even if the light can only been seen through your eyes.
-Alberto Manguel

"You aren't going to say bless you?" Gold asks me, as his best friend just sneezed. 

"I'm standing with you, clearly you've already been blessed," I reply, not lifting my eyes from my page.

"I don't get why you're reading during gym." Asher continues to try and talk to me. "This was supposed to be time for exercise. I don't get how you stay fit."

"Yeah, your body's amazing but all you do is sit around and read." Link grumbles. 

This time I actually look up at him and glare.  "It's not nice to lie."

The pair of best friends glance at each other before looking back at me, my crush looks like he's about to say something, or protest, but then the bell rings.

Flicking a hand out to them I begin to walk away, my backpack already slung over a shoulder and book still in my face.

Soon I make it to my locker and lazily do the combination without looking, and I regret not looking up until two large hands land on either side of my head. 

I stand up straight, my breath catching in my throat as I realize who this is.  

"Don't you feel lonely constantly living in your own little world?" Asher asks, looking over my shoulder to view the page -as if he's not making my heart become spastic by pressing into me.

"Well Gold, don't you ever feel powerless living in other people's world? At least in my mind I get to be myself, and besides." I shrug, forcing myself to answer. "I'm lonely anyway." 

"Why's that?" 

"Does it matter?" I snap, bristling slightly and lean forward away from his ice before turning around completely. 

"I'd like to think so." Gold murmurs, closing the distance between my front and his chest once again. "Why so lonely, Blue?" 

"I don't have friends." I blurt, instantly feeling the shame of the sentence hit me full force. "The only people who love me are my family, I've got no one to call home." 

"We aren't friends?" He asks, blinking at me with a small pout. 

"Well I mean -if you...are we friends?" I stammer, watching as he looks away from me.

"I'll call you a friend." Now the golden boy turns red. 

"Then yeah, we're friends. More than I can say for me and Weasley." I say, scoffing slightly. 

"Now see," Asher gives me a smile. "You made one already." 

"My parents would be so proud." I tease, only to get a half assed eye roll in response. I shrug, going back to reading after my back pack is stuffed in my locker.

He walks with me all the way to the parking lot, where I pause to raise a eyebrow at him. "Where's your truck Gold?" 

Asher shrugs, giving me a lazy smile. "I walked."

"Is Weasley gonna take you home?" I ask frowning.

"Nope." 

"Then come on, you're with me. We need to brain storm." I declare, heading straight towards my motorcycle. 

I look back at my crush, my heart leaping to my throat as I see the boyish grin on his face. 

I had to let Luci outside and watch him so he won't escape, but when I step back inside I hear the timer blaring throughout the house loudly, something that only happens when it's left on for too long.

Which means something's wrong.

With Gold as my only thought in mind I race to the kitchen, skidding to a stop once I see the oven open and the cake placed haphazardly in the center of the oven top. 

My heart drops and I feel my stomach coil in tension, I feel my ears perk up as I focus on one sound: The shower.

Not wasting time in racing to my room I barge into my conjoined bathroom and when I don't notice any clothes on the floor, or see Asher's tall height peaking through, I find myself ripping the curtain open.

Asher sits on the floor of the shower with his head between his legs, back rapidly rising and falling with his breaths.

I hate heat.

My heart breaks.

I'm not breathing when I kick my shoes off, my socks following after, or when I tear my pants off. I leave my shirt on, because maybe I'm about to get soaked but the one thing I don't need to add onto his mental state right now is my scars.

And then I step in the shower, behind him so I don't block the waterfall.

Right now I'm pretty sure that's the only thing keeping him sane, and even though I can feel how painfully cold it is I won't take it away.

Because, I hate heat, are the words replaying in my mind.

Sitting behind him I rest my forehead on his shaking back, between his shoulder blades, my comparatively small hands rest on his waist. 

"I'm going to tell you about myself." I say, not daring too come any closer. "I love the feeling of a winter wind in my ratty curls, but I also like fall breezes that come with leaves. It's the cold, against my skin because I'm always so warm. Sometimes even fire doesn't hurt me..."

I trail off, trying to think of something else.

"Oh! I like to sing, and I love music more than I should. My parents sound proofed because of it. I'm not on my phone for any other reason, unless I get a call." My voice drops, knowing I don't get many of those. "At this point reading has become an addiction, but that's the thing with addictions. I can't stop."

I pause with a grin.

"I could live in sweatpants and tank tops but in reality the only reason I don't walk around naked is because people would judge me." I squeeze him slightly, noticing how his breath is starting to even out. "Those are just a few things I like, but they make me me."

I hope the shower's not drowning me out.

"I'm shy, and quiet if you don't know me at all and I look like a push over. You know that once you do know me I don't shut up unless my face is in a book, then I'll just insult you but I hope you also know I don't mean it." Gold's shoulders roll back, and he lifts his head slightly. "I used to trust way to easy, and it screwed me over so I stopped. Now, as unfortunate as it is I don't trust much at all. I trust you Gold, just so you know."

Which I shouldn't, because this crush is going to break my heart.

"I'm usually pretty laid back and happy but sometimes I get sad, really sad, and I want someone to cheer me up because being sad sucks but typically no one does. Like I said, I don't have any friends well -I got one." I catch myself before my voice can break on the word 'sucks'. "I've never really had a best friend, because all the people I've ever considered a friend have left. I don't hold this against them."

This is true, I can't blame them for not being able to handle all this.

"I have a hard time, a really fucking hard time opening up to people. And when I love, I love hard. I'm usually not willing to share what I have, and I'm more possessive over my books than I am of my food. Which is saying a lot because I will knock a bitch out if they take my fries."

He's not tense anymore, but he's not relaxed either.

"My family isn't that big, but it's enough. My dog's name is Lucifer and my dad hates it. You're right, and I'll never admit this again, but I am more wolf than human and I am the Devil's daughter." My hands slide around him, clutching onto his abdomen. "I sleep with the fan on, the door shut and with a movie playing. It helps me not to dream, because my mind already has something going for it."

I nearly jump in surprise when his ice cold hands fold over my own, when they press my burning ones into his soaked shirt I begin to realize my golden boy is weeping softly.

I would spit at God, in this instant, if he were real, for bringing so much pain to Asher; I would punch Gold for why he has the scar on his neck.

"I drink black coffee in the morning and ice water at night. I read when I can't get to sleep, and some days I don't sleep at all. I take medicine that's supposed to help me sleep, one to stop anxiety, one to stop migraines and one to reduce my hand tremors. I tried to tell the docs I don't need the last one, because my hands will shake anyway. They didn't listen but my Dad let me stop taking them." I hope this isn't too much information. "I'm really fucked up Gold, but make no mistake I'm not broken and I'm awesome."

My breath catches and I still my entire being when Asher leans, his back lays onto more of my thighs as his head lays rests on top of mine. 

"You're the nicest guy I've ever met and I don't think you're broken either and I want you to know that scars can be just as beautiful as stars if you don't hide them." I should take my own advice. "I suck at comforting people. I'm too dramatic or too insensitive, it's either apocalyptic or a eye roll to me. When I get mad, or upset I'll turn into a asshole and when I get super super scared I black out. I'm my own hulk."

I could have sworn he just chuckled.

"My favorite color is green, mint green to be exact. The best number in my opinion is 7 and the best thing in the world is honey. Did you know it can never go bad?" He doesn't respond, but then again I didn't expect him too. "The first time I ever cussed was at my older brother because I had a head ache, despite that I screamed 'Shut the hell up dipshit!' so loud across the house at three am that it woke up my parents. My dad was more amused then anything."

This time he does chuckle, I can feel it in my hands.

"When I was fifteen I bet my brother I could make the sharp turn on McHale Street on my bike. Apparently I couldn't. So I got a broken left wrist and lost fifty bucks all in the span of a hours. I didn't even cry until I had the cast on. I didnt let anyone sign it, because the no friends thing but my mom did draw a sick dragon on it." I giggle quietly at the memory of waking up to Mom in bed next to me with twenty sharpies in her lap and a determined expression set into her warm grey eyes.

"I don't know your middle name but Asher somethings that starts with a 'S' or 'C' Hart seems pretty accurate to me." Gold nods against me. "I really like the name Hart, but Wolf suits me more. Besides it's not like you can just give it away."

Unless you want to marry me of course.

"I love to swim and I'll have to take you to Heaven sometime. The water isn't cold, but it isn't warm either. There's a cliff you can jump off of and a small beach. If you think you can stand we can go now, we'll get you warm and go to your place for everything you'd need, hop on my bike and stay there all night. No expectations, and you can scream ad loud as you want and nothing but nature will hear you. We're skipping school tomorrow, because I believe in health before learning about old dead white guys and now to calculate the angle of your teacher's saggy ass and it's not healthy to push yourself after a break down."

I would know.

"And my name's Eliza."

Asher takes a shuddering breath, drawing away from me before doing to unexpected and flipping over.

Both large hands are between my thighs as he towers over me, for once the nice guy doesn't have a smile.

He's just blank.

The look in his mint green eyes is unmistakable -he's afraid.

I hate heat.

"Okay Blue," Gold says, slipping his icy hand back into my own. "Let's go to Heaven."