Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
-Charles W. Eliot

"Stop calling me." I grumble at my brother over the phone, he has called me once a hour to keep tabs on me. 

I have had horrible nightmares for the last three days, and scratched my chest so bad that I ripped a shirt. I can't sleep and it's hard for me to eat.

I don't know exactly what's wrong but whatever it is it's happening on a physical level, I can only hope it's a after affect tired thing from healing from being beaten up at the party.

My hand tremors are constant and now I can't hold anything in them long, stuffing them either under my arms or in my pockets.

Nobody has noticed anything wrong in my first few classes, I skipped Home Ed. and now I'm walking into lunch. I don't want to act different, like it affected me.

I want him to believe that yeah, it was just meaningless flirting and just a kiss.

It can be just a kiss, can't it?

Yes.

Because if I believe otherwise, I'm ruined.

This reminds me of the time Mom and Dad got into a fight, I can't even remember what it was about -something about seeing someone in jail. 

Knowing their past it's probably my dad's sperm donor.

Never Grace, never Travis.

Not the people that did this to me. 

Not her mother, not her step-father -if someone could even call them that.

They're evil and it takes a lot for me to call someone that.

"I'll call you however much I want." He snaps back.

I sit down at the table, lazily watching as both Asher's and Link's head snap over to me but I force myself not to care, I'm too tired to care.

"Then you better get used to not being answered." I grumble, wiping under one of my eyes as I let out a monstrous yawn. "You're a fucking douche."

Asher flinches like it's him I'm calling one.

Ha.

"I'm the douche?" Xander exclaims, as if he's surprised I've resorted to insults. "You're the douche. Idiot."

We're Wolfs. It's what we do.

"I got that part, surprisingly. I'm an idiot, you're an idiot. We're co-president's of Club idiot." I put my head down, my speech muffled by my arm.

"I am not an idiot." He whines, I snort. "I'm not."

"Your lies are unnecessary." I tell him.

"You're the like the unnecessary sequel to a movie. You know, second child and all." I lift my head, gaping at the phone as my stupid brother starts laughing at his own insult.

With a growl I hang up on him, slamming my phone down on the table and pinch the bridge of my nose as it starts to ring.

"It's the end of the world as we know it,"

And ring.

"And we're doing just fine."

And ring.

"Yeah, it's the end of the world as we know it."

And ring.

"You gonna answer that Elle?" Lincoln asks, making my head snap up to him.

"You called me Elle." I mumble, feeling suddenly drained. "Why Weasley, am I growing on you?"

"No." He snorts. "I always call you Elle."

"You don't call me anything. You've never said my name before, not to me directly or even around me." I reply, putting my cheek against a fist. "What changed?"

Link's teeth grind together, glaring at me. I stare right back, not intimidated at all.

A few minutes later the left side of my lips pull up into a feral smirk as I show him my sharp teeth, glaring right back.

He pales and shrinks back, now completely unnerved by me.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I say, leaning back now smug in my chair. 

"Hey." Asher winces, catching my attention. "Sorry again." Then he shrugs, raising a eyebrow at me. 

Anger rises in me about how careless he is.

"Don't do that." I snap.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't pretend like, like this didn't mean anything to you," I say, heart clenching tightly. "I was there. I was there. I saw the way you looked at me. You kissed me." 

"I feel nothing for you, absolutely nothing. Kissing was a mistake. This," He motions between us. "Was a mistake." 

"Is that so?" I ask, my tone amused. 

It only irritates him more. 

"Yes." Gold grits out. "Nothing." 

I gave him a look, one I think might have been a bit too sad as the truth finally came out. 

And he looked numb, just blank, like he wanted to yell and was controlling himself. 

"It's okay, don't worry." I shrug, acting like this didn't hurt. "I've spent my whole life reading books, pretending like things that are fake, aren't. I've spent my whole life loving things that can't love me back." I pause, looking away from him. I'm surprised that I look away first -I'm great with eye contact. "It's nothing new, sorry for wasting your time." With that I grab my bag, both Link and Asher watching me stand with sad eyes. "See you later Gold, Weasley." 

Then I leave and I swear, this is what heartbreak feels like. 

My parents didn't warn me about this. 

Why didn't they warn me about this?

Right, because they didn't break each other's hearts.

My brother calls me again, and this time I answer.

"Hey," I say, forcing a grin on my face as I lean against the lockers. "Want to do something?"

"You sound happy. What happened?" Xander asks, and I can hear the smile in his own voice.

"Got some food, duh." I lie, giggling slightly. "Plus I picked up this really good book, I think I'm addicted."

"That's an understatement." He pauses. "What is this something?"

"You know that abandoned building on the side of town? Well I was thinking..."

"This is the first and last time I give you permission to punch holes through walls." Alexander tells me with his arms crossed, even with a broken wrist- -which I found out about when he picked me up, we're not telling Mom- -he manages to look scolding.

Such a older brother.

"Hell yes!" I fist bump the air smirking.

A hour later we both regret that first and last time, seeing as that's how we got caught -with my fist through a wall, stuck, and Xander on the ground laughing his ass off.

Things did not go as planned.

"So...this is a nice change in scenery." I mutter, looking around our damn cell. 

Xander snaps his head over to me, a deadly glare on his face. 

"We're in a jail cell." He shouts, then smacks the side of my head so hard my body lurches forward and I fall on my side. 

"I was being sarcastic." 

"What we didn't wasn't legal Elle, now isn't the time for sarcasm."

I scoff at his words, sitting back up straight. "There is always time for sarcasm, you just need to know when to use it right. And obviously if it were legal, we wouldn't be here. You're the one that wanted to explore when all I wanted to do was check out the view from the roof." 

"I didn't know there was signs up that said stay out!" 

"It's a really old, creepy, abandoned factor on the edge of town!" I yell. "Of course there were signs up. You're so stupid." 

"Oh I'm the stupid one?" 

"Yes you're the stupid one." 

"You're the one that punched a cop." 

"He was squeezing your broken wrist, I had every right to punch him." I growl, my body tensing at the thought. "He was hurting you." 

"You can't defend me from everyone, this isn't how this works." Xander tells me softly, putting a hand on my knee for comfort. 

"I know," I say, my voice quiet and with a smile. "But I can try. You're still an idiot."

"You have the most depressing smile." He mutters.

I jokingly gasp. "So rude. I hope you step on a Lego."

"Suck a bag of dicks Edwards." He calls me my 'guy's name'.

"You first. God your mental insults are like a cow's trying to insult me," I scan him up and down. "Never mind, I guess a cow was trying to insult me."

"I worship the ground that awaits your grave."

"Wow so clever." I roll my eyes. "Why can't you use that brain any other time?"

"Because then you wouldn't be able to understand me." Xander replies grinning.

"I would slap you but I don't want to get dumbass on my hand, it might be contagious." I insult him back, rolling my eyes when he sticks his tongue out to me.

"Keep rolling your eyes," He sneers. "You might find at least one brain cell back there."

"That's rude. I have at least three." And this isn't a lie. ""I can't tell if I'm talking to your face or your asshole."

"It's my face." My brother grits out.

"Really? Then your face looks like it caught on fire and half melted off and sadly the plastic surgeon could only fix half but that half was put on backwards."

"I'll admit, that one hurt." He pretends to sniff.

"So I know we're supposed to be like, slightly serious right now but if I cut off my foot and like, swing it at your head is that hitting you or kicking you?" I ask, now pretending to be 'slightly serious'.

"I think that's more mentally scarring than anything. You need to use the sleep." He blinks and whispers. "Maybe I need to use the sleep."

"Eliza!" A loud voice screams. I flinch at the familiar female voice at the same time my brother does. "Alexander!" 

Me and him look at each other, eyes wide. 

Uncle Cal and Aunt Jess's kid is not a person that anyone should mess with and I would rather stay in the cell then go ten feet near her when she was this mad. 

"Did you call her?" I whisper to Xander, who has even more right to be scared. 

They're dating and his girlfriend is terrifying. 

"No. Celeste's my emergency. I didn't think they'd call her." 

"Of course they'd call her!" I hiss. "That's why I told them to use you as my emergency, because I thought Mom and Dad was yours." 

"No," Xander looks appalled by the thought. "You think I want Mom to know every time I'm in trouble?" 

"I guess she can't be called once a day anyway..." I mutter, only to be smacked again. 

This time it was even harder, making the side of my skull connect with the metal bars. 

"Elle and Xander Wolf." I hear Celeste tell a officer. "I bailed them out, but can I see them before you open the cell?" 

The officer agrees which makes me breath out in relief. 

We're safe -for now. 

"Can I come in as well?" I familiar, ever polite voice asks. 

My breath catches in my throat at this. 

I skipped school on Friday, specifically so I won't have to see him after my meltdown and so I could go do this slightly illegal thing. 

And now he's here. 

What the fuck? 

"How?" I hiss to Xander, knowing he was upset yesterday when he found me crying in my room. "How?" I ask again, only to receive a guilty look. 

"Who do you think I used our phone call for?" 

"I thought that was to Dad!" I whisper yell, pouncing on him. 

Xander growls at me, obviously not liking the fact I'm pinning him down. I yelp loudly as he flips our positions, forcing my face into the ground. 

Then he brings me to stand, holding the back of my shoulder and my wrist. "Not the wrist, not the wrist!" I shout, trying to escape his hold through the pain. 

"Alexander Calum Wolf if you break her wrist again we are breaking the fuck up." Celeste yells, slapping a hand into the bars. 

I breath out in relief, only to flinch harshly as I'm shoved face first into the back wall and have pain flood me. In short I end up a groaning mess on the floor.

"Get up!" My brother snaps after a while of me still laying groaning on the floor. "I didn't make you hit the wall that hard." 

"I'm sorry." I mutter, grabbing his arm to help myself up. "You did hit me though, and I'm tired as shit. I haven't slept in two days, dipshit." 

"You're getting old." Xander says, making me scowl. 

"Yeah, that's what this is." I regret my words when he grabs me around the neck, putting me in my lock hold. "Let go." I choke out. 

It does little to stop him. 

"Xander," Celeste warns. "Now." 

This time he does, making me suck in a shit ton of air. 

"When I get sleep..." I breathe out. "You're dead." 

"Yeah?" Alexander shoots back. "Since when do you get good sleep?" 

"One of these days it could happen!" I defend myself. "You never know." 

"It's been five years, so no. It really couldn't." I pause at this words. It's been five years since I haven't been able to sleep good? Five years since I was taken? Five years since I had to get all drugged up, just so I wouldn't wake up and try to kill myself. 

"Good to know." I finally say.

"Now to address the real issue." Celeste claps, I assume she's about to 'address' it but then the golden boy takes over.

"Why did you guys think this was a good idea?" Asher asks us, frowning. 

I know he's freaked out because I'm not talking to him directly, and haven't been making eye contact -my two biggest habits for these last months. 

"Actually we both knew this was a horrible idea," Xander clasps me on the bag, I wince as pain floods me. "We just didn't care." 

"Idiots." Celeste seethes. "You're both idiots." 

"We're our Dad's kids," I mutter, finally leaving the cell. "Of course we're idiots." 

"One." Asher begins to count. 

"Excuse me?" I say, finally looking up to him. 

"Two." 

"If you think you can just-" 

"When I get to five Munchkin your time is up." He interrupts me, narrowing his eyes. "I suggest you run." 

With that my eyes widen and I take off out of the police station. 

When the nice guy tells you to run, you run.

Man, the one place I'm not safe. 

"Four." I can hear the smile in his voice, and I'm barely out of the building when he yells, "Five." 

"Fuck, fuck, fuckkk...." I whisper, realizing I either have the choice to run with my sore body or take whatever emotional punishment Asher is planning. 

Why does he even fucking care?

"Time's up Munchkin." 

I go rigid as this sentence is whispered in my ear, and suddenly I'm being picked up. "Hey!" I yell. "I assume I deserve this." I mumble, my waist being held tightly by Asher as he lifts me off the ground and hangs me like a cat over his tree branch arms. "But could you tell me why you want to murder me this time, nice guy?" 

 "I'm not a nice guy." Gold grumbles. 

"Sure," I snorted. "And I'm a pig." 

"You said it not me." 

"Now that is just rude." I pause. "Let me down."

"No. We're going to my apartment and you're getting sleep someplace where you won't give the people around you bags." Asher says, leaving no room for argument. "I know you don't have pajamas, you can just wear something of mine. I'm not going to argue with you, I'm telling you that you're sleeping tonight and even if you have a nightmare you won't hurt anyone. So shut up for once."

I want to point out that I didn't interrupt him, or even start talking a lot.

But I don't.

I just...shut up, for once.