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"Is it worth another chance? A chance to let this chapter of our life grow bigger and just push past this mistake?" - sugariehoseok

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⍋Primium impressionem (17.5/20): Okay hun, your cover is KILLING MY ASS, I LOVE IT! Jesus, I'll never get over that particular photoshoot or any photoshoot in general. I do have some advice for you to make it even better and more eye-catching - bring up the brightness of the cover and don't be afraid to come forth with the title and make it more visible. The details already existing on the cover will become more prominent as well and the true beauty of it all will be seen at the first glance which is your goal.

I don't know why, but I love descriptions that have the definition of the title from the dictionary. This is completely a personal preference, I can't explain as to why, but I do. It's aesthetic and something I'm keen on seeing. I have a question though - what are non-typical daddy issues? Y/n has typical daddy issues and I understand that, but what are the non-typical then? You piqued my curiosity with that! I'm a bit sad to say this but to me, it feels like something is missing in your description. It's good, but I think that the way it's worded isn't doing it much justice so let's give it a try and see if this can inspire you in any way:

Where Y/n has typical daddy issues and Taehyung is working as a stripper for a living. Where do these two meet? At a bar - classic. What about their love? Well, the delicate cobweb they got themselves trapped in is making sure to lure them straight into the belly of the beast going by the name insanity.

All in all, you did a very good job of pulling me in your story since I'd probably check it out even if it weren't because of the review and I salute you for that! Well done, hun!

⍋Et compages grammatica damnationem (17/20): You write in the present tense which automatically gets me immersed in the action and feels more vivid while I read it, but do watch out since sometimes you can mix it up with a past tense before returning to the present. Nonetheless, you have a great grasp of grammar which is something you should honestly be very proud of! The mistakes you do make are more on the side of the mixed first and second point of views as well as incorrectly used commas or phrases which don't happen that often. For example, shout in pain should be shout of pain, ellipsis should always have three dots, deaf defying force should be death-defying force and some other simple lapses. Nothing that isn't unfixable in a single proof-reading session!

When it comes to your sentence structure, try to experiment a little and spread your wings out of your comfort zone! Have fun with it and as I said to Ni, the author of Rainbows After Storms, learn to utilise every word you write to your benefit! It can get a bit repetitive and bland if you often start your sentences in the same manner, so try to goof around with your words a little and see if you can change them to make them more engaging and less predictable. Writing comes down to you playing around with language to draw and convey the scene you imagined inside your mind.

⍋Scripto artes (17.5/20): The first word that pops in my mind when I ask myself how to describe your writing style would be fierce! Hun, you know what you're doing and I salute you for it. It's impactful, it cuts straight to the chase but still leaves me balancing over the edge and wondering what's next to come, so I have to say you managed to make me feel invested in your story. The thing is, I'm insatiable so I always want more. Don't think you'll ruin the flow of your chapters if you take a little breather here and there and indulge in the wondrous world of descriptions.

How are your characters feeling in particular moments? Do they smell something, what do they see? Is there a particular shirt they like to wear that has this tag on the inside that itches them so much they can't concentrate on their surroundings? What about jewellery, is it heavy on their skin? I want to know it all, so please give me more and try to satiate my crazy desire! There's this one scene when Y/n gets back from boba with Tae and faces Yoongs. When I read the part where he gripped her wrist, I got an idea and it might help you realise how to bring those tense moments closer to me as your reader:

"...I don't get how a random stranger is going to protect you," Yoongi growls, his slender fingers digging into the sensitive skin of my wrist. My brows dip into a frown as his words register in my mind, the pain of his grip now not comparable to the ache that constricts my heart and doesn't allow me to take a proper breath.

We see how she feels both on the inside and the outside in this one short paragraph. Of course, you don't have to describe all five senses and every single feeling she has all the time, but a sprinkle of it here and there will make it easier for me as your reader to sympathise with your characters!

⍋Influunt (7/10): I like the flow of your chapters and how you glide through the scenes. Your paragraphs are evenly spaced out, your chapters are the perfect length to support your writing style and all in all, you did a great job with it. Please do watch out for the transitions between scenes during a single chapter, you tend to make them a bit abrupt and confusing for a moment before I realise that the scene is changed. You can dampen that with a bit more descriptions as I mentioned earlier above. A little piece of advice you don't have to take but it's just something I noticed - you don't need the author's point of view in the chapter where she faints and can easily describe the scene from Tae's point of view since it only has a couple of sentences.

Also, try to make your vocabulary a bit more diverse since words repeated for more than two times in a paragraph or even a single sentence can make it seem a bit choppy and repetitive. I'd advise you to maybe consider not using outfit photos but attempt to describe them instead since photos in the middle of the chapter tend to shatter my concentration while reading (or maybe I'm just a grandma that can't get used to the new technologies kids love to use these days). This is just personal preference once again so I didn't take points off for it!

⍋Insidias (15.5/20): The plot to Insanity definitely isn't something you see every day which is so refreshing and such a great fact! Thank you so much for having the courage to write it out and post it so all of us can see it! I do have a couple of nice suggestions to develop it further and make your story grow into something even more unique and I hope some of these suggestions help you and inspire you. These are all just tiny details you can work on, the base of your plot is great and I wouldn't change it that much, only develop it further.

So, you touch a bit on the topic of Schizophrenia in your story. Writing about any type of mental disorder or any topic you're not familiar with or know little about (not saying that's the case by the way) demands thorough research so you can make sure you present what you want to write about in its true light and not offend anyone by doing it. That's why people usually steer clear of heavy themes, but I'm glad you weren't one of them! Still, I'd advise you to delve into those medical sites just a bit more since Schizophrenia is a very serious mental disorder. It impairs daily functioning and can be disabling in some cases and I have a feeling you took it a bit too lightly. Don't get discouraged by this, I'll gladly give you a couple of verified medical sources where you can find out a bit more about this disorder and allow yourself to explore more about it! I'm proud of you for wanting to write about it and I'll help you in any way I can!

The thing I loved about your story is how mysterious it is, packed with angst and making me wonder what will happen next. That's why I was a bit taken aback when a couple of things happened so easily and clashed with the general feeling of the story you had at the beginning. It's a miracle how she didn't need any treatment for her disorder at all even though Tae helped her out a lot with it, it just seems a bit too optimistic when you consider how she was at first and how Tae is basically a stranger to her even though they are together.

I understand you were going for a happy ending and I don't discourage that, but I'd love to see them struggle a bit more before finally realising they can push through anything together and develop a great bond. I'd also love to know more about what makes Tae insane, you just tipped your toes in that lake and left me hanging - give me it all, I want to know! Gimme gimme! I know you have a great imagination and can pull it off without any problems!

⍋Characteribus (16/20): I must say I adore your characters! They are well thought out and deal with some sensitive topics I always love to see in stories! Still, there are some inconsistencies with them throughout the story, especially when it comes to Y/n, as well as her relationship with Tae. For example, in the beginning, I see Y/n as a bold girl not afraid to stand her ground when it comes to her father, only to have her stutter around him and ask if she can go out some chapters later. She could have just sneaked out like she did the first time especially since he had some friends over and would probably care even less than usual. Again, this is purely my opinion and a different point of view at that particular scene.

Although the relationship between Y/n and Tae is adorable, it lacks a bit of depth which then makes me think they are together only because of their looks. Trust me, those relationships work wonders as well, but I have a feeling you weren't going for that type for this story. To aid that, you could add some more scenes of them bonding before agreeing to try it out and see if they can be in a relationship. Loving someone takes time even at a younger age - it asks for trust and that can only happen if they know a bit about one another. I love how they were insecure when Yoongs swooped in and shook them to their cores, that was great since it made them human and so damn relatable!

Sometimes the dialogue can get a bit wooden as well so you could watch out for that, especially towards the end of the story. Maybe that happens because your attention starts bouncing from more than five characters in a single scene which can be hard to keep up with. Just try and read it out loud, see where it seems a bit too scripted and add more spice to it! It's nothing too tedious to go through and it'll make your story seem evenly-paced and grounded which is a win-win situation! Also, I'd love to know what made Y/n snap and change from subtle symptoms here and there to complete insanity - was it the kiss? Please give me more, make me drool over all the emotions and descriptions! It's such a delicate scene, focus on it and make me fall in love completely with her character!

⍋Totalis puncta et summaries: 90.5/110! Well done, hun! You did such a great job with this story and I'm so proud of you! Insanity is a book full of surprises and amazing tension leading up to something wonderful, so if you're on the lookout for that, I highly recommend it for everyone!

I hope you got inspired a bit, even a piece of single advice means that I managed to help you out and that would make me the happiest person there is on this planet! I can't wait to see how you develop as a writer through time if I already love how you write right now - I'll fall in love, no joke. Please don't take this review personally and please keep in mind that this is just me trying to help you in the best way I can!

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Coming soon - excellingfetus

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