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"The matching suits and the black SUV reminded her of The Men in Black movie, like they were all on an assignment to go out and rid the world of evil aliens." - TaeTaeLust

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⍋Primium impressionem (17.5/20): I'm swooned by your ability to conceptualise a description so intriguing I can't help but want to see what this short stories collection has in store for me! It's so well written and I'm so proud of you, you did a great job! I like how you added a little disclaimer about plagiarism, but you can maybe simplify it a bit since it got longer than your actual description and can possibly fend off some of your readers. The thing that I'd love to see is a sentence tucked somewhere in there that tells me this fairytale-inspired collection is mainly about Taehyung, so your audience can reach you better and be sure that this is what they are searching for.

I'm so sad to say this, but the cover doesn't do justice to your book. It's simplistic and I do like the style, but it takes me a bit of time to figure out exactly what's going on with it since the background is blurred and the font isn't as clear even though it is artful. The thing is, many readers just scroll through their suggestions or searches until a cover grabs their attention - it's sad but it's true. That fleeting moment is your only chance to make someone stop scrolling to check out the beginning of your description and then potentially click to see more.

My advice? Slap on Tae's face on the cover and let him take the show - well, do be gentle with him, but you know what I mean. I'd gladly help you out with it if you'd like (you know how to reach out to me, hun), these stories are too good to be left out in the dark!

⍋Et compages grammatica damnationem (16.5/20): These tiny mistakes weaving through your writing like a skier going down a slope sometimes tickle me more than I'd like to admit. The thing is, you know all the major and very important bits that are the essence of English grammar, but these details are the thing that doesn't let your writing be as polished as it could be. What's wonderful about this? Well, a simple run through any online grammar checker will do wonders for you since you won't have to spend much time completing the tedious task of finding all of the misplaced commas, forgotten quotation marks and lapses. Technology is wonderful, I love it!

As for your sentence structure, I adore it with my little heart! It's versatile, fun, keeps me on my toes and isn't repetitive at all! You did a great job with it and you certainly have the skill, so now you can play around a bit and see if you can develop it even further! You can do that by reading and analysing your favourite authors, seeing how they construct their sentences and let them inspire you. Do watch out for a lot of sentences starting with I when you write in the first POV though, it can get a bit too much which I'm sure isn't something you want to happen.

⍋Scripto artes (18.5/20): The italic is giving me life. Seriously. I'm usually not a fan of it since it's used mainly for flashbacks, dreams thoughts and to emphasise certain notions, but it works so well with the first one! Seeing how these are fairytales, it makes me feel like I'm reading them from a magical book - it's so damn good! I'm also envious of the simplistic style you have. The details are strictly that - details, not keeping me side-tracked from the developing scenes in front of me.

What I'm not a fan of is the fact that I have to search up for many complicated words you wrote. I had no idea that the word derriere or hegemony even existed until I read your work. Don't get me wrong, having unique words can be exciting and a great learning experience for me, but don't be afraid to use everyday words like ass or authority. Satyriasis though? Love it. LOVE it. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that you could tone them down just a tiny bit when it comes to mundane words, but the words that do hold a deeper meaning are phenomenal and something that makes your writing style stand out from the crowd! A little addition - you don't have to put Author's POV at the beginning of your chapters or write veeryy (it's a great opportunity to write this: "... very much," He dragged his words, dark eyes fixated on the line of her butt.), but this is my personal taste talking here.

⍋Influunt (7.5/10): You have a nice idea of where you want to guide me through your chapters, but sometimes you can make some abrupt jumps here and there. Even though I understand it's done because you're writing short stories within your book, you can add just a tad bit more and let me flow into the next scene smoother. A small piece of advice as well - you don't have to put the dialogue in a new line every time the character talks (I'm talking about the same character though) since when I see a new line of dialogue, I naturally think it's the other character talking until I realise it's still the same one. Let me show you what I mean by that:

"Ahh, my life is boring, I'm sure you wouldn't be at all interested." Ruby looked up with a small smile on her full moist lips. "Would you like more coffee?" She asked standing up.

In my humble opinion, this flows better and doesn't confuse the readers, on the contrary, it takes care of letting me know it's still Ruby who's talking. Also, your chapters will look less chopped up with short spurts of dialogue and will add proper spice to the shorter sentences you do want to emphasise. That's a win-win situation in my book!

⍋Insidias (16.5/20): A little inconvenience with writing short stories is finding the perfect balance between sprinkling too much information on me as your reader and not saying enough to let me connect with the happenings. Most of your earlier plots are nicely developed, but still lack a bit more essence to make me settle in, feel all warm and cosy with them before the yummy scenes start. You do improve with later plots which is amazing and I'm so happy to see you get better with every word you write! I must admit something to you though - I was laughing my ASS off at your choice of words for female and male genitals. A tunnel of joy, a well firm lengthy thickness cracked me up so much and this is so not the time to be giggling like a schoolgirl! I want to feel sexy as hell, confident and in awe over Taehyung!

You're writing erotica, don't be afraid to use a bit more biological or crude expressions. There's no reason to feel shy or attempt to keep the innocence of me as your reader since when I clicked on your work I knew very well what I was getting myself into as well as many others did. I'll just give you the definition of the word you like to use. Anatomy - The branch of science concerned with the bodily structure of humans, animals and other living organisms, especially as revealed by dissection and the separation of parts. Certainly not something you meant to describe, I'm sure.

I do love the twists you made with the fairytales, especially when I realise which tale it is! You have an amazing brain and such great ideas, so I'm excited to see what else you have in store for me! Sometimes it can be a bit 'already seen before' with some scenarios, but you make sure to add something that represents you so I didn't mind them that much. A very good job, indeed!

⍋Characteribus (16.5/20): This is where another downside of short stories comes to play. The art of letting me get to know the characters and them getting to know each other and not overdoing it is hard to master. Instead of becoming pouty and thinking that you're not good enough, think of the ways to improve and have fun while doing so! What doesn't add up with your female original characters is that they usually get from fierce, bold women to submissive girls in a matter of seconds. I know Taehyung is powerful, but even he isn't able to change the essence of who they are in such a short amount of time.

Either don't make the girls as submissive or let the fire in them settle down just a bit. It would make them seem more realistic and easier to connect with. Also, Tae is so damn harsh with them, sex hurts more than it's pleasurable if the girl isn't prepared, especially if she's a virgin. Instead of making him look hot by being so rough, he just seems like a selfish asshole even though they do seem to like it. A couple of sentences where he is gentle when it's least expected, in the most important moments, will give him that manly aura many of us aren't able to resist, trust me!

⍋Totalis puncta et summaries: 93/110! I must say I am so proud of you, hun! Your imagination is wonderful, please never stop writing! Twisted Erotic Fairytales are wild, mind-bending and so freaking sexy! I can't wait to see where you'll take me next and I'm so excited to find out! Please don't take this review personally and please keep in mind that this is just me trying to help you in the best way I can!

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Coming soon - Cupidslittlewings

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