xii. forgetful
this one's sad and all about Jamie and Ellie. DONT WORRY GUYS WE SEE MORE JAMIE AFTER THIS CHAP, THIS CHAP IS JUST ROUGH
JAMIE STOOD AGAINST THE COLD AND damp wall of the HYDRA cell, his eyes narrowed as he watched Ellie. She was sitting in a corner, her knees drawn up to her chest, sobbing quietly. The sound echoed through the small, confined space, a haunting reminder of the despair that filled this place.
"Stop it," Jamie said harshly, his voice cutting through the sobs.
Ellie looked up, tears streaming down her face. "I can't help it," she whispered. "I want my dad."
"Your dad isn't coming," Jamie snapped, his patience wearing thin. "Crying won't change anything. You're here now, and you need to toughen up."
Ellie continued to cry, her body shaking with each sob. Jamie felt a familiar surge of anger and frustration. He had been in her place once, scared and alone. But he had learned to survive by shutting off his emotions, by becoming hard and unfeeling. Seeing Ellie's weakness reminded him of his own vulnerability, something he despised.
"Stop crying!" Jamie shouted, his fists clenching at his sides. "Do you want them to hear you? Do you want them to come back?"
Ellie's sobs only grew louder, her fear and sadness overwhelming her. Jamie's anger boiled over. He stormed across the small cell and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her roughly.
"I said stop it!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls.
Ellie's eyes widened in fear, but she couldn't stop the tears. In a moment of blind rage, Jamie raised his fist and punched her. The force of the blow sent her sprawling to the floor, a cry of pain escaping her lips.
Jamie stood over her, his chest heaving with anger and guilt. He knew he shouldn't have hit her, but the sight of her crying, the sound of her sobs, it all became too much. He had to make her understand that showing weakness here could get them both killed.
Ellie lay on the floor, her cheek throbbing where Jamie had hit her. She looked up at him with a mixture of fear and betrayal in her eyes.
"Why did you do that?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
Jamie turned away, unable to meet her gaze. "Because you need to be strong," he said, his voice hollow. "Crying won't help you here. You have to toughen up if you want to survive."
Before Ellie could respond, the heavy metal door to their cell creaked open. Two HYDRA agents stepped inside, their faces hidden behind cold, emotionless masks. Ellie's heart raced as they approached, her fear overwhelming her.
"Get up," one of the agents ordered, grabbing Ellie by the arm and hauling her to her feet.
Jamie watched helplessly as Ellie was dragged out of the cell. He knew where they were taking her. He had heard the stories, seen the empty eyes of those who had returned. They were taking her to be wiped, to have her memories erased and her mind broken.
Ellie struggled against the agents, her eyes filled with terror. "No! Please, don't!" she cried, her voice echoing down the hallway. "I want my dad! I want my dad!"
The agents ignored her pleas, their grip on her arms unyielding. Jamie felt a pang of guilt and regret. He had wanted her to stop crying, to toughen up, but not like this. He had never wanted this.
The agents dragged Ellie into a sterile, white room filled with machines and bright lights. She was strapped to a metal table, her arms and legs restrained. She looked around, her heart pounding in her chest, fear consuming her.
A man in a lab coat entered the room, his expression cold and detached. He approached Ellie, examining her with a clinical eye.
"Please," Ellie begged, tears streaming down her face. "Please don't do this. I just want to go home."
The man ignored her, turning to one of the machines and pressing a series of buttons. The room was filled with the hum of machinery as the device powered up.
Ellie's body trembled with fear as the man placed electrodes on her temples. She tried to struggle, but the restraints held her firmly in place. She felt a sharp pain in her head as the machine began to work, a searing heat that spread through her mind.
She screamed, the sound echoing off the walls. The pain was unbearable, unlike anything she had ever felt before. She could feel her memories being pulled away, her thoughts becoming jumbled and confused.
"Dad!" she cried, her voice breaking. "Dad, please help me!"
But there was no one to help her. She was alone, trapped in this nightmare.
Back in the cell, Jamie sat with his back against the wall, his head in his hands. He could still hear Ellie's screams echoing through the halls, a haunting reminder of what he had done. He had tried to make her tough, but instead, he had broken her.
He thought of his own experience, the pain and fear he had felt when he had been taken to the machine. He had been alone then, just as Ellie was now. He knew the terror she was feeling, the helplessness.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to the empty cell, his voice filled with regret. "I'm so sorry."
Hours passed before Ellie was returned to the cell. The door opened, and she was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. Jamie rushed to her side, his heart aching at the sight of her.
Ellie lay motionless, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Her face was pale, her body limp. Jamie gently shook her shoulder, trying to get a response.
"Ellie," he whispered, his voice filled with desperation. "Ellie, can you hear me?"
There was no response. "Ellie. Can you stand."
Ellie said nothing, her face blanked out. Jamie knew they finally did it. They wiped her, took away all her memories. She remembered nothing but what she knew now, she didn't even remember Jamie punching her.
And for days, Ellie remained unresponsive. Jamie stayed by her side, talking to her, trying to bring her back. He told her stories, brought her food, anything to spark a reaction.
One day, as he was telling her about a time he had managed to sneak out of his cell and explore the facility, he saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It was brief, but it was there.
"Ellie?" he whispered, his heart pounding. "Ellie, can you hear me?"
Ellie blinked, her eyes focusing on Jamie for the first time since she had been taken. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
"You're finally aware." He said with a smile. "No more talk of your dad?"
She looked at him, confused. "What?"
She didn't remember. Jamie scoffed. "Nothing."
"Don't give them any reason to fry you again." He yanked her hand up. "We need to train, come along."
Together, they would find a way to survive. Together, they would find a way to be strong.
TWO YEARS PASSED SINCE THAT DAY
in the HYDRA cell, and Ellie and Jamie had changed in more ways than one. Both were now ten years old, and the harsh environment had forced them to mature quickly. The once-frightened girl who cried for her dad had grown into a determined and resilient young survivor. Jamie, too, had hardened, his rough edges smoothed only slightly by the bond he had formed with Ellie.
The two of them sat in a dimly lit corner of their cell, a small, confined space where they were kept isolated from others. They had grown used to the routine-training sessions, harsh punishments, and the constant watchful eyes of their captors. But through it all, they had each other.
Jamie leaned against the cold wall, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of the guards. He glanced at Ellie, who was sitting beside him, her face a mask of concentration as she fiddled with a small piece of metal she had managed to scavenge.
"Any luck?" he asked in a low voice, not wanting to draw attention.
Ellie shook her head. "Not yet," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I think I'm getting closer. This might be the one that finally works."
Jamie nodded, his expression one of cautious optimism. "Keep at it. We'll find a way to turn that thing into something cool."
Ellie looked up at him, a flicker of determination in her eyes. "Yeah."
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. Jamie tensed, his hand instinctively moving to cover Ellie's. "Stay calm," he murmured, his eyes narrowing as the door to their cell swung open.
Two HYDRA agents entered, their faces as emotionless as ever. One of them, a tall man with a scar running down his cheek, pointed at Ellie. "You. Training session. Now."
Ellie stood up, her face impassive. She had learned to hide her fear, to keep her emotions in check. Jamie gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. "Be strong," he whispered, his eyes locking onto hers.
She nodded, taking a deep breath before following the agents out of the cell. Jamie watched her go, his heart heavy with worry. He knew what these training sessions entailed-brutal exercises, combat drills, and sometimes, experiments that left them both physically and mentally scarred.
Hours passed before Ellie was returned to the cell. She walked in with a limp, her face bruised and her eyes hollow. Jamie rushed to her side, his hands gentle as he guided her to sit down.
"What did they do to you?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
Ellie winced as she sat down, but her eyes remained defiant. "Same as always," she replied, her voice tired but resolute. "But I didn't break. I won't let them break me."
Jamie felt a surge of pride for her. She had come so far from the frightened girl she once was. "You're strong, Ellie. Stronger than any of them."
The two of them spent the next year trying to distract themselves from the harsh reality they faced. They played simple games, told each other stories, and tried to find small moments of joy in the bleakness of their situation. Their bond grew stronger with each passing moment. They knew that while escaping HYDRA was impossible, they could at least survive and keep their spirits intact.
One night, as they huddled together in the darkness, Ellie spoke up. "Do you remember that day? The day they wiped me?"
Jamie nodded, his expression somber. "I remember."
Ellie took a deep breath, her eyes reflecting the dim light of the cell. "I don't remember much from before, but I remember you. You've always been there for me, Jamie. Even when things were at their worst."
Jamie felt a lump in his throat. "And I always will be, Ellie. You're like my sister. We're family."
Ellie smiled, her eyes shining with gratitude. "Family."
As they sat together in the dark cell, the bond between them unbreakable, they knew that no matter what HYDRA threw at them, they would face it together. They would survive. They would find a way to get through each day.
Their days were marked by a routine of training and captivity. The guards would come for them, taking them to various parts of the facility for physical training, combat drills, and sometimes, medical experiments. These sessions were grueling and left them both physically and mentally exhausted. Yet, each time they were returned to their cell, they found solace in each other's presence.
One particularly harsh day, Ellie returned from a training session with fresh bruises and a cut on her arm. Jamie could see the pain etched on her face as she sat down heavily on the cold floor.
"Let me see," he said gently, taking her arm and examining the cut.
Ellie winced but didn't pull away. "It's not too bad," she said, trying to sound braver than she felt.
Jamie tore a strip from his already tattered shirt and wrapped it around her arm, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. "We have to take care of each other," he said, his voice firm but caring. "We can't let them win."
Despite the constant threat of punishment, Ellie and Jamie found ways to keep their spirits up. They shared stories of their lives before HYDRA, dreams of what they would do if they ever escaped, and sometimes, they even managed to laugh at the absurdity of their situation.
One evening, as they lay on the cold floor of their cell, Ellie turned to Jamie. "Do you ever think about what it would be like to be free?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Ellie, shut up." He said firmly. "You're not supposed to think about that."
Ellie sighed. "Jamie, I'm serious."
Jamie stared at the ceiling, his mind drifting to a world beyond the walls of their prison. "All the time," he admitted. "I think about what it would be like to run through a field, to feel the sun on my face, to just be... normal."
Ellie smiled wistfully. "I think about it too. I think about what it would be like to have a family, to be loved and cared for."
Jamie turned to her, his expression serious. "We are a family, Ellie. We have each other, and that's more than a lot of people in here have."
Ellie nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You're right. We're family."
NOW THEY WERE TWELVE AND ONE
particular day, Ellie was taken for an experiment. Jamie paced their cell, his heart heavy with worry. He knew what these experiments entailed-pain, fear, and sometimes, irreversible damage.
Hours later, when Ellie was returned to the cell, she was unconscious, her body limp and pale. Jamie rushed to her side, his hands trembling as he checked her for injuries.
"Ellie," he whispered, his voice filled with desperation. "Ellie, can you hear me?"
There was no response. Jamie felt a surge of panic, his mind racing with fear. He gently shook her, trying to rouse her.
"Please, Ellie," he begged, his voice breaking. "Please wake up."
After what felt like an eternity, Ellie stirred, her eyes fluttering open. She looked at Jamie, her expression dazed and confused.
"Jamie?" she whispered, her voice weak.
Jamie let out a sigh of relief, his hands still trembling. "Ellie! Stop almost dying you fucking idiot."
"Sorry." She said, her voice raspy.
Ellie tried to sit up, but her body was too weak. Jamie gently helped her, his heart aching at the sight of her pain. "What did they do to you?" Jamie asked.
"They... they did something to my mind," she said, her voice trembling. "It was like... like they were trying to erase me."
Jamie felt a surge of anger. "Don't let them succeed. You need to be stronger! Be stronger, Ellie."
"Yeah, yeah, okay."
AT AGE THIRTEEN, HYDRA HAD BEGAN
to really train them. They were needed now they were older, more able to things they couldn't when they were younger.
One day during a particularly grueling training session, Ellie and Jamie were pitted against each other in a combat drill. The HYDRA agents watched with cold, calculating eyes as the two children fought, their movements a blend of desperation and determination.
Ellie and Jamie exchanged a series of blows, their bodies moving with a practiced grace that belied their young age. Despite the pain and exhaustion, they continued to fight, each movement a testament to their resilience.
As the drill came to an end, Ellie and Jamie stood panting, their bodies bruised and battered. The HYDRA agents seemed pleased with their performance, nodding approvingly before leading them back to their cell.
Once they were alone, Jamie turned to Ellie. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
Ellie nodded, wiping sweat from her brow. "I'm fine. Just tired."
Jamie gave her a small smile. "You did great out there. You're getting stronger."
Ellie returned his smile, her eyes filled with determination. "So are you. We have to keep getting stronger. For each other."
As they sat together in the darkness of their cell, their bond unbreakable, they knew that no matter what HYDRA threw at them, they would face it together. They would survive. They would endure.
Now fourteen years old, they had become adept at navigating the harsh environment of the HYDRA facility. Their training had made them physically stronger, but it was their emotional resilience that truly set them apart. They had each other, and that was enough to endure the countless trials they faced.
One evening, during a rare moment of solitude, Jamie stumbled upon a small, hidden compartment in the wall of their cell. His curiosity piqued, he pried it open and found a dusty file inside. The cover bore a single, chilling name: "Winter Soldier."
His heart raced as he opened the file. Inside, he found detailed reports, photographs, and information about the Winter Soldier-HYDRA's most lethal and enigmatic operative. As he flipped through the pages, his breath caught in his throat. There, in one of the photographs, was a man with a metal arm, his face partially obscured, standing next to a young girl with strikingly familiar features.
It was Ellie.
Jamie's mind reeled as he tried to process the implications. He bud the file in his jacket as he walked back to the cell.
He glanced at Ellie, who was sitting across the cell, her attention focused on a small piece of machinery she was tinkering with. He knew he had to tell her, but he also knew the risk. Sharing this information could get them both in serious trouble. But Ellie deserved to know the truth.
"Ellie," Jamie called softly, his voice trembling slightly.
She looked up, noticing the gravity in his tone. "What is it, Jamie?"
Jamie hesitated for a moment, then handed her the file. "You need to see this."
Ellie took the file, her eyes widening as she read through the documents. When she reached the photograph, her hand flew to her mouth. "Jamie... is this...?"
Jamie nodded, his expression somber. "I think that's your dad, Ellie. The Winter Soldier."
Ellie's mind swirled with confusion and shock. She began to remember. She remembered everything, from her dad teaching her to ride a bike to falling asleep in his arms as he read to her. "Why would HYDRA keep this from me?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Jamie placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "They have their reasons. They don't want us to know who we really are. But now you know, and that knowledge is power."
Before they could discuss further, the cell door burst open, and two HYDRA agents stormed in, Jamie didn't have much time to hide the file, so one of the agents grabbed it from them. "You two, come with us," one of them barked, his expression stern.
Jamie and Ellie exchanged a worried glance but complied. They were led through a series of dark corridors to a small, dimly lit room. Inside, a HYDRA officer stood behind a desk, his face twisted in anger.
"What did you tell her?" the officer demanded, his eyes boring into Jamie.
Jamie stood tall, refusing to back down. "She deserves to know the truth."
The officer's expression darkened. "You had no right to tell her anything. You've compromised our operations."
Jamie clenched his fists, his anger bubbling to the surface. "She's not just a pawn in your game. She has a right to know about her father."
The officer's lips curled into a cruel smile. "You've just made a grave mistake, boy."
Without warning, the officer drew a gun and aimed it at Jamie's chest. Ellie screamed, her voice echoing off the walls. "No! Jamie!"
The shot rang out, and Jamie crumpled to the ground, clutching his chest. Blood spread rapidly across his shirt, and he struggled to breathe, his eyes wide with shock and pain.
Ellie fell to her knees beside him, tears streaming down her face. "Jamie! Please, stay with me!"
The officer grabbed her by the arm, dragging her away from Jamie's side. "Enough of this. She needs to be wiped."
Ellie fought against his grip, her screams of anguish filling the room. "No! Jamie!"
But her protests were in vain. She was dragged away, her eyes locked on Jamie's as his life slowly ebbed away. The last thing she saw was his pained, desperate expression, and then the door slammed shut, separating them forever.
Ellie was taken to a sterile, white room filled with machines. She was strapped to a metal table, her body trembling with fear and grief. The same man in the lab coat who had wiped her years before stood over her, his expression cold and detached.
"Begin the procedure," he ordered.
As the machine powered up, Ellie's mind was filled with memories of Jamie-their bond, their shared strength, and the truth he had revealed to her. She held onto those memories with all her might, knowing that soon, they would be ripped away.
The pain was excruciating, a searing heat that spread through her mind, pulling away her memories and thoughts. She screamed, her voice a raw, desperate cry for help.
"Dad! Jamie! Please!"
But there was no one to help her. She was alone, trapped in a nightmare of HYDRA's making. The machine worked relentlessly, erasing every trace of Jamie from her mind, and with it, the knowledge of her father.
When the procedure was finally over, Ellie lay motionless on the table, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. The man in the lab coat nodded in satisfaction. "Take her back to her cell."
Two HYDRA agents unstrapped her and carried her back to the cell. They dropped her unceremoniously on the floor, then left, locking the door behind them.
Ellie lay there for a long time, her mind a haze of confusion and emptiness. She couldn't remember why she felt so sad, why her heart ached with a profound sense of loss.
As the days passed, Ellie continued to exist in a state of numbness, her memories of Jamie and the truth he had revealed to her gone. She went through the motions of training, her actions mechanical and devoid of emotion. The bond that had once given her strength and hope was erased, leaving her a hollow shell of the person she once was.
Jamie's death and the revelation about her father were buried deep within her mind, inaccessible and forgotten. HYDRA had succeeded in breaking her spirit, but somewhere, deep inside, a small flicker of resilience remained, waiting for the day it could reignite.
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