"Holy shit, it really is all over the internet," I say, my jaw hanging open.

Beside me, July has a look on his face that shows how he doesn't know what to think of this. His biggest secret has been exposed. Not to one or two people, but to the whole world.

As soon as July and I came back to the Emmens' wooden cabin, I handed the packet to Tiara, then went to the kitchen to make her some coffee. She was a bit surprised at my act of kindness, both for the heating pads and the coffee. I then asked her to lend me her laptop because I needed to check the internet for some things, and she readily gave it to me. I came back to my room, where July was pacing from one corner to the other. Together, we sat down on the bed and typed the words "YGBTM movement" in the Google search bar.

What popped up was a number of articles with various titles, and neither of us could figure out which one to check out first. We ended up clicking the second result, titled "YGBTM movement: Youths flood the streets following the shocking reveal behind Rain Castleton's suicide." It was the only article out of all the top ones that used the word Rain instead of Hale.

We start reading in silence. YGBTM stands for You Gave Birth To Me, a sentence that Hale had written in his letter. It was initially just a Twitter hashtag used to raise awareness about academic pressure and parental abuse by showing Rain Castleton as an example, but it soon became much more than that once more people started to share their own stories. It turned into a movement, with peaceful protests sparking first at Rain's hometown Heilbur, then all over the country. The first ever protest was started by July's classmates.

I did hear about the movement from Alex, but I didn't realize the extent it had spread to, and neither had July. Apparently last week, the prime minister announced that preparations are being taken to provide free mental health counselling services in every major school of the country. Which is crazy considering the fact that none of our school textbooks has ever talked about anything related to mental health in details, and therapy is expensive. Yesterday, two suicide hotlines were launched specifically for those under 18, while another for abused children to seek help. Took our country this long to do that.

"I can't believe the government actually gave a crap about this," I say, kind of taken aback at the impact that has been created within such a short time. "They usually ignore protests like this. Remember the one by bus drivers a few years back? About the fare and the oil price. None of their demands were accepted."

"The number of bus drivers is way less than students," July says. "It's much easier to subdue a low-income group of people than a whole mob of hot-blooded youths who've finally had enough."

"Hmm, that's true."

We continue reading, desperate to get the answer about how the truth came out. We get to know that it was some of the biggest online activism pages of our country that first put out this information to the world just a few days back. They had been messaged by an unanimous individual who claimed to be Rain and Hale's classmate and a close friend of Rain. They had sent way too many proofs for there to be any doubt about this. I was much surprised to discover that one of the activism pages listed is the one Alex and Ayesha run together: voiceoftheoppressed. So they got involved in this too.

"A classmate," I repeat. "Who could it be?"

"I have a guess," he replies, eyes still on the screen.

The article with the proofs is linked there, and I was about to click it. But July tells me to finish reading the whole article first before going there.

After this came out, it was like a whole storm had sweeped over the internet and the media. Everyone was and still is talking about this everywhere, the mass public shaken up by such a major twist in the story. Like the cashier girl at the convenience store said, the movement flared up right after the news came out. The protests became more vehement, and a wider range of demands were put out. Many of them are about how there needs to be more changes in the education system of our country, like the inclusion of mental health education in the curriculum.

The cashier had also mentioned the Josephine Youth Organization, a well known organization of our country. It operates as the central hub for working on all kinds of developmental activities related to the youth, starting from spreading education among the poor children, removing child marriage, reducing teen pregnancy to bullying, suicides, drug addiction, and a very recent addition: the LGBTQ+ community. So it is also acting as the central hub for the movement, providing all the resources required for organizing the protests and pressurizing the government officials.

We reach the end of the article. For a moment, neither of us say anything. July probably needs time to process all this sudden information. If I were him, I wouldn't know what to think of this at all. This kind of situation is way out of my comprehension.

I break the silence with a question. "I don't understand one thing. Why did the reveal flare the movement more? If anything, I imagine it would create more distractions, making people unsure about what to believe and what to not."

July rubs his chin. "Probably because this kind of twist garnered a lot of attention from people, and the activists all managed to take the perfect advantage of it."

"Oh yes, that makes sense."

"Let's check out the proof article." July's voice sounds level and calm. I have no idea how he is feeling about this. Is he happy that the movement sparking from his death is creating so many positive changes? Is he mad that his whole revenge plot against his twin brother is ruined? Or is he thinking of something completely different?

I scroll up the article to find the link, then click on it. Another page loads, this article titled: [UPDATED] The Truth Behind Rain Castleton's Suicide: All Proofs.

The article was updated two hours ago with new information. It is ridiculously long, filled with a total of 37 photos that the nameless individual had sent as proofs to a total of 6 activism pages. Many of them are screenshots of chat conversations. Instead of reading through all of them, we check the descriptions instead. The person was a close friend of Rain and they talked quite often, and Rain had shared with them about how he is planning to run away from his home because he feels suffocated and his parents are pieces of shits.

The next screenshots were of more chat convos, except this one was with Hale. Some screenshots were from a website page, with some sentences underlined in red. As soon as July saw it, he says, "Knew it. It's her."

"Who?"

"The girl I had told you about. Our class president."

"The one who found your website?"

"Yeah. I had written my name in the website and sometimes I made small references to my personal life just because I felt desperate to let at least a fraction of it out. So I once casually mentioned that my brother ran away and it made my parents more hostile towards me."

"Oh wow." This really is too much to process. How am I supposed to have an opinion about this, when the person is sitting right beside me? I know I'm shocked, but other than that? No idea. "How did she figure this all out though? I don't get it."

"As the article says, she is close with Rain. They actually dated before she moved out of Heilbur. Rain always went in and out of relationships, but his relationship with her lasted longer than usual. Even after they broke up and she moved, he still remained in contact with her."

All this time, the image I had of Rain was quite dirty and distorted. But I suppose even someone like him can fall in love. "So you think he told her, and then she ratted out on him?"

"Or she figured it out herself. I don't know. She was one of the most intelligent people in my class."

Since chat conversations can be edited, there are some other proofs too. There are photos comparing the handwriting on Hale's letter with the handwritings on Rain and Hale's English assignments. Rain's handwriting is cursive, Hale's is straight, just like in the letter.

"Our English teacher never returned our assignments," July says. "He didn't even check them. Only gave us assignments because the school made it mandatory on all the teachers. She must have gone to him and dug these copies out."

"Wow," is all I can say again.

Other proofs were mostly testimonies from classmates. They admitted that they treated Rain in a much different way than they treated Hale, and it was mostly because of how much Rain himself seemed to dislike Hale, and how withdrawn Hale was from the rest. It was obvious that after Rain ran away, Hale pretended to be Rain and said Hale is the one who ran away. So the classmates assumed it's because Hale wanted to experience how it was like to be his twin brother. And hence he took shelter under these lies.

And then came the latest addition to the article. A statement from Hale and Rain's father, giving the sudden shift in narrative the finality it needed.

As soon as July sees the photo of him, he turns away from the screen. I read the whole description, then say, "He confirmed it. He confirmed that it was Hale."

July doesn't say anything, and doesn't look back at the screen until I scroll further down.

And that was more or less the end of it. There is nothing more to doubt about the legitimacy of the information, so no one can say the proofs are made up even if they want to.

Neither of the two articles we read so far gave any hint about the reaction of the public to this information, so July and I then decide to go to Twitter. I had made a Twitter account two years back because everyone else was, but I never got to use it much, just like my Instagram. I log back into it with the one password I've been using for everything since ages. We search with the hashtag, and a plethora of tweets pop up under it.

For the next hour, all we do is silently read through tweets, trying to get a full idea of what people are thinking and what people are saying.

Most of the recent tweets are talking about Mr. Castleton's final statement, and how people need to stop having any more doubts about this and instead focus on the movement. Some older tweets, ones from fifteen or sixteen hours ago, are talking about what a horrible person Rain must've been for Hale to go as far as indirectly kill him off, how Rain ran away and saved himself leaving Hale behind to be abused even more, and all such stuff. There are actually tons of tweets simply hating on Rain, some even saying he should be the one to kill himself at this point. What hypocrites. But then I see replies defending Rain, saying how he also went through abuse, that the whole blame should fall on no one but the parents.

The rest of the tweets are all talking about the movement in general. So we search with the words Hale Castleton to get a more specific set of tweets. From there we find a varied range of opinions. Some people are saying to delete tweets where they credited Rain so that the right information spreads faster. Some people are marvelling about the twist, even making memes to lighten the situation. Some have figured out that Hale must have done this whole thing as a revenge towards his whole family. Some are pitying Hale for going through so much. Some are talking about how they should take advantage of the media attention to spread the word internationally as well.

And there are people on the other side of the spectrum too. Some saying that if Hale can live as someone else and even literally kill himself with someone else's name, then he can also lie about being abused. Some are saying that Hale must have done this all for attention and wasn't actually planning to kill himself, just make it look like so, but he made a mistake and really died. Some others are countering that saying how even if he did lie, it doesn't make the fact that there really are people out there suffering the exact same way, so this should still be used as an opportunity to talk more about it. Some, as usual, are connecting the situation to politics, getting attacked by hundreds of quotes slandering their opinions.

At last, July finally leans back against the bed, covering his face with his palms. He's had enough now, the ocean of information too overwhelming for him. I shut the laptop and keep it aside. I give him some time to sort out his thoughts. I am actually quite surprised that so many people are supporting Hale despite knowing what a drastic lie he designed. Those who are taking all his other words as lies too aren't exactly being that irrational.

I look at July. He is staring into space. Somehow, he looks very lost.

I place a hand on his shoulder. "July? What do you think of this?"

"I- I don't know."

"Okay." I nod. "Do you want to hear what I think?"

He nods.

I sort out my own thoughts. "I think . . . our country will go through many changes because of this movement. Good changes. Changes that will help a lot of people like you. And it's all thanks to you."

"Thanks to me?" July repeats, and sits straight. There is a look of exasperation on his face. "Cedar, you don't get it. I don't deserve credit for this. It was never my intention to start this. All I wanted was for people to know about my shitty parents and think Rain is dead so the real Rain has to live with my name. My intentions were selfish. It was for revenge. And yet I'm being turned into a hero by the world, it's-" he shakes his head, "it's messed up."

I consider his words carefully, then say, "But that doesn't matter, July. What matters is the impact it had. The impact will cause the changes, regardless of what your intentions were. You might think that the letter you wrote is nothing more than you exposing your parents, but it resonated with so many people because they have experienced similar things, similar emotions. Which is exactly why they came together to start this, to make sure there are fewer Hale Castletons in the future. July, if something you did helps create a better world, then why shouldn't you get credit for it?"

"I don't know." He rubs his forehead, looking extremely tired. "I really don't know."

I watch him for a while. "There is something else bothering you, isn't there?"

He gives me a defeated look, then closes his eyes. "Rain."

Just hearing that name gets on my nerves. "What about him?"

He doesn't reply for a while. Finally, he says, "I don't know. It's just- maybe he doesn't deserve this."

"Deserve what? The hate?"

"This isn't what I wanted, Cedar. Like . . . I don't know how to explain it. I know Rain treated me like shit. But this is too much punishment compared to that."

I don't say anything, just look at my lap.

"Cedar? Don't stay silent. Tell me what you think too."

I sigh. "Maybe I'm being biased, but compared to what they did to you, this feels nothing. No matter what punishment they get, it's not like . . . it's not like you will come back."

He doesn't reply to that.

I fold my knees to my chest, and decide to say something positive instead. "But still, from my perspective, I think you have finally been avenged properly. And on the other hand, people will remember you for this whole movement, and every little success of it will be credited to you. As it should. So no matter how I look at it, I think your short life has become extremely meaningful, and you're lucky to be able to witness it with your own eyes."

He thinks about it, pondering over every sentence I said. Then he says, "Meaningful. You think my life has become meaningful, though I never managed to accomplish anything?"

I smile. "You have accomplished a lot more than anyone can ever imagine, July."

I want him to understand. I badly want him to understand, how precious his existence was to the world, and is to me. There is not much time left. These last few days, I want him to live with the knowledge that he matters. I want him to live knowing he is loved, that he has nothing to blame himself for, that he too has made his own important contributions worthy of being remembered.

These last few days, I want to cherish him deeply.

So I take his hand in both of mine, holding it gently. My hands are a little bigger than his, something I notice for the first time. Maybe if I could spend longer with him, I could discover more and more. So many parts of him will forever remain unseen by me. There is nothing I can do about it.

I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it. It's so cold, I feel as though I am kissing ice. He keeps staring at me, eyes seemingly on the verge of tears, a lot of sentiments stuck at the tip of his tongue. Wordlessly, he then comes to my arms, fitting right into my embrace, in a way that is so natural that it's almost like we have been doing this our whole life. I hold him tight. There is not much time left. I want to give him all the warmth I am capable of giving, even if he can't physically feel it. I hold him tighter.

And hence, Death laughs at us, while Fate sheds a tear. There really is not much time left.

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hello~~

i apologize for not being able to attend to the comments. since I'm at my village right now, I get very limited access to the internet, and I have to use it for my work as much as possible. Will be going back home in Tuesday, so after that I'm hoping to get back on track.

Anyways, this was a very narration-heavy chapter from what I realized. Was it too difficult to read? At first I thought that I would write down tweets and comments, but later I decided to describe them. It might be too much telling not showing 🤔 might rework on this chapter later.

anyways, thank you so much for reading!! here are some random photos i took in my beautiful village <3

—love, Poma