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Chapter 26

Plea

Ilang araw bago ang nalalapit na trial ay mas naging puspusan ang paghahanda ng legal team ko. There was an arraignment for Alec. Madalas akong naiimbitahan sa firm para sa panghuling paalala.

A day before the trial, I got called by Attorney Mendez to be in his office. It was only the two of us. Ni isa sa mga sekretarya niya ay wala sa loob ng kanyang opisina.

"How much do you trust me, Jia?" he asked all of a sudden.

"I don't know how to answer that," was my honest reply. "Ang alam ko lang ay malaki ang tiwala ko sa inyong lahat para maghandle ng kaso."

He nodded. "You trust me despite the fact that I am acquinted with Alec Von Cua."

I gave him a small nod.

"Isa siya sa mga matatalik na kaibigan ng asawa ko," dagdag niya. "Hindi ka ba nag-alalala na baka ilaglag ko ang kaso para lang paluguran ang asawa ko?"

"Naniniwala ba siya na inosente si Alec?" Tinapangan ko ang sarili sa maaaring marinig na sagot niya.

"Yes, she does."

I faltered. I had to admit that I was disappointed. I narrowed my eyes at Attorney.

"He had saved my wife's life plenty of times in the past and I am forever indebted to him because of it," dugtong pa niya. "Hindi ka ba natatakot na baka maging lenient ako sa kanya during the trial dahil sa utang na loob?"

"You are not that kind of person. Alam kong may prinsipyo ka sa buhay, Attorney."

I did not see any satisfaction in his eyes despite the compliment I've said. Nananatili ang pagiging seryoso niya.

"What about you?" mabigat na tanong ko. "Naniniwala ka rin ba na inosente si Alec?"

"I only fight for what I believe in," tugon niya. He did not sound offended by my question. "I believe in facts handed to me. I believe in the legal system because I am part of it."

"Bakit mo tinatanong kung gaano ako nagtitiwala sa'yo?" I asked because I was honestly curious.

"Because trust is very important to me. And in the trial to come and the days after it, the trust between you, me, and my entire legal team is much needed."

I held his gaze. Gusto kong makita niya sa mga mata ko ang tiwalang tinatanong niya.

There was a soft knock on his door. We both turned to look at it and in a matter of minutes it opened revealing his secretary.

"Your wife is here, Attorney. The conference room is in chaos."

Narinig ko ang isang mababaw na buntonghiningang pinakawalan ni Attorney Mendez. I glanced at him and saw that his cold and serious eyes had turned gentle and soft.

"Susunod kami," aniya sa kanyang sekretarya.

Ngumisi ang sekretarya niya at pagkatapos ay muli nang isinara ang pinto.

"Well... we should go," remarked Attorney Mendez. "Bago pa tuluyang maging bilibid ang conference room ko."

Nagtaka ako sa nangyayari. Hindi naman ako kinabahan dahil mukhang hindi naman totoo ang pag-aalala sa naging pahayag niya. Actually, he sounded delighted even. Perhaps he was happy that his wife had visited him at his workplace. At sa naging pahayag ng kanyang sekretarya kanina, halatang madalas na bumibisita sa firm ang asawa niya.

Lumabas na kami ng kanyang opisina at nagtungo sa conference. Sa hallway pa lamang ay narinig na namin ang ingay galing sa loob dahil sa bahagyang nakabukas na glass door.

Pumasok na kami sa loob. Nadatnan namin ang mga abogado at iba pang staff na abala na sa pagkain. May baked goods pang natira sa ibabaw ng malapad na oval table. There were boxes of coffee coming from a popular place as well.

"Kain tayo, Attorney! Ma'am Jia!" anang isa sa mga staff. "Ang sarap talagang mag-bake ni maam Jean."

At the mention of her name,Jean Caitlyn Villarejas-Mendez who stood near Attorney Domingo turned her head and glanced our way.

Her gazed landed on her husband first and then to me. Malapad ang ngiting iginawad niya sa asawa. Though I could not help but notice the guarded smile she gave my way.

"Napadaan lang ako para pakainin 'tong mga 'to," imporma niya sabay hakbang palapit sa kinatatayuan namin. "Kumain na rin kayo. Nagtira naman sila para sa inyo."

I stepped on the other side to make room for her as she faced her husband.

"Hello..." she softly said to him with her disarming smile.

Attorney Mendez slowly put an arm around her back and put the other hand on her elbow. He gave her a slow kiss on the forehead. Nakita ko kung paano pumikit si Jean Caitlyn at dinami ito. I looked away to give them some privacy.

I had that in the past. I felt it before. And it destroyed me in the present.

"Tiklop ka talaga Lake pagdating kay JC!"pang-aasar ni Attorney Domingo.

The room erupted with laughters.

Nanibago ako dahil sa natunghayang kaibahan sa kadalasan kong nakikita. Madalas kasi silang seryoso sa trabaho. I seldom see this side of them.

Napangiti na rin ako dahil nadala sa nangyayari. I glanced at Attorney Domingo's direction. He waved a hand at me and pointed at the food.

Umiling ako. I knew that they were just having a good time while eating but I was not comfortable. I knew I didn't belong.

Napansin ko na nakatingin na sa akin si Jean. Ginawaran niya ako ng tipid na ngiti.

"Long time no see," was her way of greeting.

I nodded and smiled at her but didn't say anything. Nagpirmi sa utak ko ang sinabi ni Attorney Mendez kanina na naniniwala si Jean kay Alec.

"You should try the cookies. Kung gusto mo lang naman."

"Hindi kasi ako mahilig sa matatamis."

"Hindi naman iyon masyadong matamis kasi binawasan ko na." She glanced at her husband who already went near the oval table. "Bawal kay Alec."

"Ayos lang," tanggi ko ulit.

"Kape?" she insisted.

I slowly shook my head. "Hindi na rin ako umiinom ng kape. I have trouble sleeping."

"Matcha tea? It helps with sleeping problems."

"I don't think they have one in here."

"They do!" agap niya. "It's in the pantry. Nagpapalagay si Lake kasi hinahanap ko sa tuwing bumibisita ako rito."

Tiningnan ko lang siya. She looked kind and friendly. I've met her once or twice before when I was still with Alec. Wala naman akong maipintas sa kanya dati. She treated me well. Ngayon lang sa tuwing naiisip ko na kakampi siya ni Alec.

"Pasensiya na kung nakukulitan ka sa'kin," she ammended finally acknowledging my indifference.

"Matcha tea would be fine," pagpayag ko sa wakas.

Maybe she meant well? May gusto rin akong itanong sa kanya.

She looked happy that I finally gave in. She went out first and then I followed. Iniwan na namin ang maingay pa rin na tawanan ng conference room.

She knew the place. Alam niya ang pasikot-sikot sa firm. She did not ask for directions towards the pantry. She knew where to go. Tahimik akong sumunod sa kanya.

We entered an all white kitchen pantry.

"Maupo ka muna," aniya sabay turo sa isang bar stool.

I took a seat on one of the bar stools near the kitchen island. She opened one of the drawers and took two sachet of the tea from it. Kumuha na rin siya ng dalawang mug.

"The past few months, madalang na lang akong bumibisita rito sa firm. Abala na rin kasi ako sa bata," pagkukuwento niya habang nagbubukas ng dalawang sachet at naglalagay ng powder sa loob ng dalawang mug.

I stayed quiet, inihahanda ang sarili sa kanina pang gustong itanong sa kanya.

She poured hot water on both mugs.
"How are you holding up?" napakakaswal na tanong niya. "I mean with the case and everything..."

"I'm getting better."

Marahan siyang tumango at humakbang na palapit sa akin. She slowly put our mugs on the table. Hindi siya umupo sa isa pang bar stool sa tabi ko. She stayed where she was. Ilang sandali niya akong tahimik na pinagmasdan.

She slowly inhaled and I saw pure gentleness in her eyes as she looked at me.

"Hindi ko ma-imagine kung ga'no kahirap ang pinagdaanan mo," marahan niyang sinabi. "I'm so sorry. Nobody should go through of what you had went through."

I felt this discomfort on my chest. Tahimik kong kinuha ang isa sa mugs na inilapag niya. I slowly sipped on it biding my time. Dahan-dahan ko itong muling inilapag.

Tiningnan ko siya sa mga mata.

"You believe that Alec is innocent."

Hindi ko nakitaan ng pagkagulat ang mga mata niya.

Marahan siyang umiling. "We should not be talking about the case. Lake would—"

"Dahil ba kaibigan mo siya kaya naniniwala ka sa kanya?"matapang na putol ko sa kanya.

She kept her lips pressed together. She seemed undecided with her next words. Sa huli ay bumuntonghininga siya.

"Sa tingin ko hindi makabubuti sa'yo ang marinig ang paniniwala ko, Jia," she gently stated. "I did not ask you to have this matcha tea with me to talk about the case but to ask how you are because I am genuinely concerned about you."

"You just don't believe me," I concluded.

Maagap siyang umiling. She put her hands on the table as if leaning for support. She leaned a bit forward. Purong pang-unawa ang ipinapakita ng mga mata niya.

"I don't know much about what had happened. I've only seen the press conference that you did. And I believed every word you had said."

Bahagyang nanliit ang mga mata ko. She's Attorney Lake's wife. Imposibleng hindi siya nang-usisa tungkol sa kaso?

"I know that Lake is leading the case, but trust me, I never ask him about the cases he has," aniya na para bang nabasa ang pagdududa sa isipan ko. "It's not just because it's unethical towards his clients but also out of respect for him and his profession."

"Maybe that is the reason why you are blinded by Alec's lies," I smiled with bitterness. "Hindi mo alam ang bawat detalye ng mga pinagdaanan ko sa mga kamay niya..."

Binalot ng lungkot ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya. She sighed.

"Hindi talaga natin ito dapat pinag-uusapan. I don't think this will do you good."

"Your husband told me just earlier today that trust is very important to him." Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili. I felt satisfied by the sudden display of fraction of fear in her eyes. "You don't feel the same way, do you?"

"I love my husband very much, Jia. And I know that he loves me just as much or even so much more." Her voice did not falter. "Trust is very important for me as well. Lake and I... we both learned that in the past the hard way."

She held her mug and ran a thumb on its rim. Nakatingin siya rito pero pakiramdam ko nasa malayo naman ang pinagmamasdan niya.

"Unfortunately not everyone's love is perfect," pagpapatuloy niya sabay angat ng tingin. There was no resentment in her eyes as she looked at me. "Not even ours. Sometimes we agree to disagree on things. The only good thing about him and I is our respect for each other's judgement and beliefs. We both try to understand where we're coming from."

I swallowed. Nauunawaan ko ang ipinupunto niya.

"Why do you believe him?" I asked pertaining to Alec. May bahid ng sakit ang tono ko.

"Because he could never hurt you. I know him much longer that you do. He saved me."Punong-puno ng emosyon ang boses niya. "He loves you so much... that he doesn't care if he goes to jail. He doesn't even care that the evidences were all pinning him—"

"Because he did it!" I hissed.

"All he cares about is only for you to believe him," mariin ngunit banayad na dugtong niya. She was already shedding a few tears. "Only your trust, Jia."

"Why would I trust him again, huh!" I asked brokenly. I was almost gasping for air as I tried to stop myself from crying but failing to do so. "Pagkatapos ng... pagkatapos ng lahat lahat na ginawa niya sa'kin?"

"Anong nangyayari rito?"

Sabay kaming napalingon sa bandang pintuan. We both saw Attorney Jok and Attorney Lake Mendez.

Marahas kong pinalis ang luha gamit ang palad. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Jean. Ang kaibahan lang naming dalawa ay ang bumalandrang kahihiyan at takot sa mga mata niya.

"Kung pinaniniwalaan mo ang mga kasinungalingan ng isang rapist, kargo na ng konsensiya mo 'yon," sabi ko.

Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang depensa niya. I turned my back on her and started walking away.

When I reached the doorway, nakita ko ang paghihilot ni Attorney Jok sa kanyang sentido. He looked stressed out by the last scene he had witnessed. Nilapitan naman ni Attorney Lake si Jean.

"I'm so sorry," I heard Jean whispered in a trembling voice. "Hindi ko sinasadya... Alec is my friend, Lake," she cried.

I stopped pausing. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad. I heard some footsteps following me.

"Hindi talaga magandang ideya na iwan kayong dalawa," si Jok.

I stopped on my tracks and angrily faced him.

"Kaibigan mo si JC, may pagdududa rin ba sa'yo? Ni kahit katiting na porsiyento ba, may paniniwala ka na inosente si Alec?"

His jaw clenched. "May respeto kami sa isa't-isa but it doesn't mean that we share the same beliefs in every aspect of things."

Paulit-ulit akong nagpakawala ng malalalim na buntonghininga.

"Bakit may mga taong naniniwala pa rin kay Alec? Si Feng... si Jean..."

Walang agarang sagot si Jok sa naging tanong ko.

"Dahil mahirap para sa kanila na tanggapin ang nagawa ng taong akala nila ay kilalang-kilala nila," sa wakas ay tugon niya.

I hugged myself feeling cold all of a sudden.

He noticed it. "I called your security. Ihahatid kana nila pauwi. We will pick you up tomorrow morning for the trial."

I obeyed and nodded. Napagpasyahan ko na huwag magpadala sa mga sinabi ni Jean. Hindi niya naranasan ang naranasan ko. Wala siyang alam sa pinagdaanan ko.

Pinilit ko ang sarili na makatulog sa gabing iyon. I needed the rest for the next day's trial and the coming days after it. I never bothered to turn the lights off because it would only remind me about those darkest nights of my life.

Sa mga nagdaang araw, habang papalapit na nang papalapit ang trial, mas dumadalas ang bangungot ko. Noong una ay paulit-ulit lang ito. Lahat ng detalye ng mga gabing iyon ay bumabalik bilang bangungot. I had to relive them over and over again. But then it shifted nang papalapit na ang araw ng trial.

Sometimes I would scream in the middle of the night when the nightmares come back and Alec would return much more dangerous that the previous ones. Other times, nawawalan na ako ng boses and I would scream from the inside which is more painful.

And tonight, nothing came. There was peace but I was still afraid.

Never in my life did I imagine that I would be inside a court. Ayaw kong bansagan ang pagkatao ko bilang isang biktima. I wanted to be labeled as a survivor.

My legal team did everything quickly and efficiently. Hindi umabot ng isang taon ang paghihintay ko para sa isang trial. The waiting for all of the legal procedures prior to this moment was painfully excruciating.

The murmurs were minimal inside the court room. Abala naman ang legal team ko sa banda namin. They were having conversations in hushed voices.

I was wearing a long sleeve black dress. I did not show any skin. My straight brown hair was down. I had no make up on. Not even a lipstick. I bit on my lips to lessen their paleness. I kept my head down.

The hushed voices suddenly became a little bit louder.

"Don't look up. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing your eyes," bulong ni Jok sa'kin. He was seated next to me. On my right side was Attorney Mendez. Sa harapang bleachers naman namin ay ang tatlo pang miyembro ng legal team.

My brother joined us. I did not ask him to. Siguro nga ay gusto niya lang talagang bumawi.

"That's Alec Von Cua... the tycoon..."I heard somebody whispered.

"What a shame," replied another.

Humupa ang bulong-bulungan. This time, I looked up and saw the presiding judge entering.

"All rise."

Bumalik ang kaba ko nang marinig ang anunsiyo ng court clerk. I inhaled and slowly exhaled before I stood up. Marahan akong tinapik ni Attorney Domingo sa braso. It was a reminder of me being not alone anymore. I stood up straighter and stronger.

"Almighty God, we stand in Your Holy Presence as our Supreme Judge..." pagpapatuloy ng clerk bilang panimulang dasal.

I steadied my legs. I was only staring straight ahead to the judge who went to her position on the platform behind the desk.

I stopped myself from glancing at Alec's direction and his legal team. My legal team advised me beforehand not to.

"The court is now in session. Honorable Judge Luz Lagdameo is presiding."

"The undersigned accuses Alec Von Cua of the crimes: kidnapping... rape under Article 335 of the Revised Penal Code," the clerk went on.

"... this Honorable Court, the above-named accused, by means of force, isolation, violence and intimadation, deprivation..."

I slowly closed my eyes as I listened to the words echoing in the entire court.

"... in a span of days, repeatedly attacking and hitting Jia Chen-Cua, which resulted in her incurring serious physical injuries, that almost caused her death."

The entire room was in complete silence. It was like nobody dared to even breathe.

"While the victim was in a defenseless situation, did then and there have forceful sexual attack of said Jia Chen-Cua against her will and consent."

There was a movement but I did not dare look up to find out what it was or who it was.

"Do you understand the allegations of the facts?"

"Yes, your honor." It was the weak but familiar voice of Alec.

"What is your plea?"

My palms were sweaty. Nanginig ang tuhod ko. Ipinatonh ko rito ang mga kamay para magpirmi.

It took him a while before he finally gave his answer.

"Not guilty, your honor."