The Truth

•••

"April," I sighed once again because it seemed too good to be true. The tears fell faster and faster down my face the tighter I held her against me. She wasn't dead, she wasn't dead, she wasn't dead. She was alive, and she was here with me.

"Ocean," she wept on my shoulder, "I thought I'd never see you again," she half-laughed as she released her tight grip on me. "You're so grown up. Look at those pretty brown eyes! You look just like Mother. How is Mother?" She sniffled before crushing me into another hug.

"Mother is..." I trailed off not knowing how to respond. I knew that April deserved the truth, but what was I to tell her? That Mother was failing? That she was fragile and empty? That she assumed her entire family was torn apart by the Monsters? "Okay, she's okay. She's more fragile now, but she's all right. How did you know I was with her recently? Did you know I was the one they picked?" I didn't understand how she assumed I saw my mother unless the humans knew when the Monsters picked a name.

"I didn't know," she admitted, but she quickly looked away as she finished, "I only guessed. You seemed out of place here as if you hadn't been to the market yet, and everyone that's been here for a while knows the market." Her smile didn't reach her eyes, and I began to wonder if she was lying to me. However, I didn't press the matter further. I was just happy she was alive.

"How's Father? Have you seen him at all?" I asked, but I instantly regretted my question. Her smile instantly fell, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear the answer.

"Father didn't make it, Ocean. His heart wasn't pure," she sighed before she walked back to her tent and sat down behind the table.

"What do you mean his heart wasn't pure? He didn't want to conform to the Monsters' ways?" I scoffed. "What's wrong with that?"

"Oceana, you've only just been picked. You don't understand how it works," she sighed as she looked up at me with weary eyes. "They're trying to better our world, and they're recruiting allies. They don't want us if we're going to fight with them. Father didn't want to have any part in this new world."

"How do you know he didn't make it? Tell me how you know this. Did he live with a Monster near you?" I noticed she winced when I said monster.

"The elders execute publicly. They send out an announcement telling us when they're going to perform an execution, who they're going to execute, and why they've come to that decision. All of Tyrenius knew why Father was executed. It wasn't a secret, Ocean." I knew she felt guilty, for I could see it in her behavior. She wouldn't look at me, and she kept fidgeting with her hands.

I walked around the table and sat at the empty seat next to her. I allowed my anger to unleash and target her as I asked, "Are you guilty because you didn't do anything to stop it?"

She slowly looked up at me, and I watched the tears pool in her eyes. "You don't understand, Ocean, this world is better than the one we came from. If we want a better world, we need people that support that world. He was committing treason! If I stood up for him, I would've died too!"

"It's better to die courageously than a coward, isn't it?" I snapped. "It sounds to me like you're nothing but a coward, April. You're not the same sister I fought the elders for."

"It's been years, Ocean! Years! You can't expect me to be the same person when this is the country I matured in. Tyrenius is my home! I've been here for almost half of my life. I believe in the high elders' ways! They're not monsters, Ocean, you need to see that. Look around you!" She shouted as she threw her hands toward the forest surrounding us. "This world is beautiful!"

"This world is fake! This isn't real. This is a ruse they pulled over your eyes! Do you honestly think the barrier surrounding Nortadane would be so eerie and dark if the world beyond was so beautiful?"

"And do you think," she cried, "that the barrier could be so dark because the elders are powerful and made it that way? If you can't believe this is real when I've lived here for how many years now, then I don't know what to tell you! You're even more stubborn now than what you were before. This isn't a fake world, Ocean. This is Landria. The new and the old Landria! It was a war! People were sacrificed on both sides. That's what war means. It doesn't mean that one side is better, it just means that there are opposing views."

"Yes, and you chose to oppose the wrong one," I whispered as I stood up. I didn't want to look at her any longer, but I had to know one more thing. "Tell me one thing, April, how did they execute Father? Was he beheaded? Was he torn apart in front of the whole town? Was he ripped to shreds? At least tell me the details of that. You owe me that much since you were a coward and allowed him to die." I knew I was hurting her, but she hurt me too. The idea she did nothing and let the Monsters kill our father tore me apart more than anything else ever would.

She didn't want to relive the details. I saw the guilt on her face and the horror, but I knew she would tell me. She wouldn't let me walk away without knowing something like that.

"He—he—Ocean, it was terrible, and I—"

"Tell me, April."

"He—he was eaten. In front of the town. It's not how they usually execute people, and that's why I couldn't do anything. I was so shocked. I thought that eating humans was a thing of the past, but apparently, it wasn't. They haven't eaten anyone else since Father, but it was—oh, Ocean!" She sobbed as she covered her face with her hands. I suddenly felt guilty for yelling at her, and I fell back into the chair and pulled her against me.

I wanted to be angry with her—and to some degree, I was angry with her—but I couldn't be angry with her for not sacrificing herself to save Father. I couldn't even imagine having to watch that, and I suddenly felt nauseated. The worst part was if Monsters hadn't eaten anyone since my father, and Dryden ate someone since the war, did that mean—

I released my sister before running behind the tent and puking up saliva and stomach acid. There was no food to vomit, but my body needed to react to this information. It couldn't have been Dryden. Just because he had eaten someone since the war didn't mean it was Father. But if he knew that it was my father he ate, was that why he wanted to draw my name? To somehow make it up to me?

"Ocean," a deep voice spoke next to me causing more stomach acid to come up. "Are you okay?" Dryden asked as he settled his hand on my back and rubbed softly.

"Don't touch me!" I growled as I threw his hand off and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "You have no right to touch me!"

"Are you okay?" April asked as she quickly came over. However, before she reached me, she suddenly stopped when she noticed Dryden. "My lord!" She exclaimed before falling on her face in the grass. "Forgive me, I wasn't aware it was you."

"Arise," he bid her. "It's all right."

I wanted to shout at April for bowing to Dryden, but I was too shocked to speak. How did she know him? I knew he was a lord, but were lords that esteemed?

"Ocean is my sister," April responded. "We haven't seen each other since my name was drawn."

"You're her sister?" Dryden gasped. "I never would've guessed. And your name?"

"April, sir. And I look more like our father, my lord, while Oceana resembles our mother." Although April was being polite, her tone sounded hostile. Something told me she encountered Dryden before, and it wasn't a pleasant time.

"I see. Well, we must be going. I have lunch waiting for us, and your sister needs some strength." He reached out to help me, but I slapped his hand away.

"I don't need anything from you," I snapped.

"Ocean!" April gasped.

"Do not worry, your sister is a fighter, but she forgets that I am more powerful," he smiled as he reached out and touched my arm. I felt the buzz from his power as it traveled throughout my body until I became very tired. I tried to stand up, but my knees buckled beneath me. Before I fell into the grass, I felt his arms catch me. I wanted to fight, but I had no energy. So, I allowed the darkness to overcome me, and I prayed it would be an eternal slumber where I would never wake up again.

•••

I woke up in a dark room. I knew it wasn't the same room I slept in the night before because the sheets felt softer and more used. I could also see that the room was much larger than the other one, and I began to wonder where I was.

It quickly dawned on me that if I wasn't in my bedroom Dryden assigned to me, that I was in...his. Or maybe I was in Chefford's. Either way, I didn't understand why I couldn't be in the other room. That was the one he assigned to me after all.

"Good, you're awake," Dryden spoke as he opened a door on the far wall and walked out of what appeared to be an attached bathroom. So, this was his master bedroom. "I was wondering how long that spell was going to affect you," he smiled, but there wasn't anything pleasant or friendly about his smile. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't happy either. I didn't think my outburst in the market affected him that much, but maybe I was wrong.

"You should know, shouldn't you? You're the one that used your magic on me," I huffed as I pulled the covers tighter against my body.

"I can't have you lashing out on me like that in public," he told me as he sat on the edge of his bed. Instinctively, I leaned back as far as I could until I hit his headboard. "There's repercussions for that kind of behavior, Ocean."

"If I don't conform to your ways, you will kill me then?" I breathed. Death sounded so sweet, and I was desperate for an escape from his cultish ideals.

"Yes, but I don't want to kill you, Ocean. It's not a war any longer, but some humans are so stuck to their false history that they won't open their eyes to see the truth around them. Didn't you see how your sister reacted to me? She showed me reverence. I'm not just an ordinary high elder, Ocean, I'm—well, I'm—it's hard to explain. Mortals don't understand the laws of our land," he sighed as if I couldn't comprehend something as simple as being royal.

"You're royalty then?" I half-laughed because the palace-sized house made sense. I just assumed that all of the Monsters had a palace of their own. I never thought Dryden was that important.

"Not exactly," he laughed as he stood up and walked toward the curtains. He pulled them open allowing me to see the sparkling stars above the tall trees. "Years ago, our Mother chose the first elder. She gave him more power above the rest, for he was to govern the elders after him. He was to train and show his followers how to use their magic. Not only was he the first elder, but he was to choose the elders after him. He was able to pick who would have the power of our Mother. This was when there were fewer humans in Landria, for the world had just begun. So, he chose his closest friends and companions, along with some other people he deemed worthy. These elders are the same ones today—apart from the ones who sacrificed themselves to try and escape through the barrier around Nortadane. However, he chose forty men in total. Four for each of the ten cities of Landria."

After he finished his speech, he stared out the window as I began to put the pieces together. If he wasn't royalty, and he thought the story of the first elder would explain things better, then that meant he was—

"You're the first elder?" I gasped. "You met our Mother?" Landria was founded over three hundred years ago, and this didn't seem plausible.

"I am, and I did. My closest friends became the high elders of Landria, and the ones I deemed reasonable men, became elders in the smaller cities."

"You didn't choose any women? Why?" I wasn't sure if I believed his claim to be the highest elder, but if he truly was, then everything was his fault. The war, the cannibalism, everything.

"Our Mother wanted me to choose those whom I trusted. The only woman I trusted at that time was our Mother, and she was already the most powerful." He stopped as he turned toward me. "This is why I cannot allow you to behave like that in public. The elders and other people will think that I believe is okay to lash out at the elders like that. I can't show weakness when I have no room to be weak."

"It's all for you isn't it? Everything has such a selfish motive to you. And you wonder why we call you Monsters? You were single-handedly the reason why the war started and why the humans were eaten! If you're the first elder like you claim to be, then everything—and I mean everything—I've endured is your fault. There is no one else to blame in Landria apart from you. Why did you start this war?" I snarled through my tears. I was so exhausted from crying, but emotions were the only way I could move on. I had to address and face my feelings before I could cast them aside. It didn't help that all of the pain my family and I were out through was because the Monster before me decided on a war.

"A war is not one man's decision alone," he whispered as he looked away and faces the window once again. "You have too much faith in me if you think I could've caused the catastrophe on my own."

"I have no faith in you," I snapped. "I don't understand why our Mother, our goddess would give you such power when she's supposed to have a pure heart! Where is the purity of a heart who desires to eat others? You're no man. You're a coward, a Monster, and you disgust me." I tried to catch my breath as my sorrow overcame me. Discussing this was too much for me, and I didn't care about any of the excuses Dryden had to offer.

"My intentions are pure, I assure you. You do not believe me, Oceana, but that does not mean it's not true. I never wanted a war. I wanted peace, but I had to stand with my brethren. I had to stand with my closest friends that helped build this country with technology and power. We dedicated our lives to bettering Landria for the humans. We even wanted to teach them our magic, but it was never enough. No matter how much we tried, the humans were always unhappy. Just like how you've been constantly complaining since you've entered Tyrenius because you want things your way. And you say we're selfish? We're Monsters?" He half-laughed as he glanced at me over his shoulder. "It seems we aren't that different after all."

"We're nothing alike," I spat as I wiped my eyes. "I never wanted to eat someone before."

"You act like I wanted to!" He shouted causing me to jump as he turned toward me and hastily walked toward the bed. His hair almost looked aflame as his eyes blazed madly. The buzzing hum from his power intensified as he hovered over me. I watched the sparks in his eyes, and I was afraid he was going to blast me with a spell. "Do you think I consumed men for pleasure? You have no idea why we ate the humans! You never think that there is a story behind something, for all you think about is how to hate us even more! The humans that knew magic were trying to raise their dead during the war. They wanted to raise the men we killed who were evil and desired to overthrow Landria for their own benefit. In order to stop them from rising again unnaturally, my brethren and I had to eat them! Did you know that?!" He shouted as he ran his fingers through his hair and began pacing the room. "You only think about you and what you know, not about what others know and had to go through! Do you want to talk about selfish, Oceana Howl, because you're the most selfish woman I ever met."

I watched his chest move up and down as he breathed quickly and heavily from his anger. I still couldn't fathom how there could be an excuse to eat people. Couldn't they just burn the bodies if that were the case? But I wasn't going to ask anymore questions. I was still crying and trying to regain composure. I hated him and his ways, and I knew now that he hated me too. I wasn't selfish for trying to preserve my people. I was brave for standing up for them when cowards like my sister wouldn't.

"Try to see it from my perspective. I know you're only nineteen and I'm hundreds of years old, but mature your mind. The blood in your veins is ancient for it comes from our Mother. She blessed us all with her life even those who aren't trained in magic. We're not enemies, Ocean, so pick your battles. I never wanted a war. I never wanted to murder anyone. I never wanted to obliterate almost all of the humans, but being the highest of something doesn't always mean you have a choice. You do have a choice to do what's best for your country and those who you love, but you don't always have a choice to do what you want. I wanted peace, Ocean, but as a leader I couldn't just expect everyone to get along. Tyrenius is more than a home to me, it is my gift from our Mother. All of Landria is. I was once to rule over our main city—Diamonds—but I refused. My four brethren rule there now because I did not want the responsibility to uphold the lives of millions. The humans aren't extinct. You just want to believe that Nortadane was all that was left to feed your agenda that we truly are Monsters. We may have sharp teeth, we may have power, we may have eaten men for a cause, but we're not Monsters. Not in the same way you believe us to be. Take my place, Oceana, and see if you could've done a better job." I could see the exhaustion in his face, but I ignored it as I looked away and gazed out the window at the many stars dotting the night sky.

I didn't want to live a life where I wanted to die or hated those around me, but the pain of losing my family all those years ago was not something I could ever forget. I couldn't forgive Dryden even if he did have good intentions because sometimes the best intentions have the worst endings.

"I would like to teach you magic, Oceana, if you would like to learn. I don't want to teach you magic until you trust me, though. I can't sacrifice my life just to teach you the ways of our Mother. However, I would like you to attend the academy. I want you to have the most fulfilling life you can. That's why I brought you here. You're smart, you're fierce, and I believe you're exactly what we need in Landria. I'm just afraid you'll never be able to see that," he sighed as he reached out and opened the door.

"I don't want to learn magic," I whispered as I wiped my eyes even more. "I'm afraid of it," I admitted. I was exhausted from his spell, I felt weak from not eating, and I didn't care about being vulnerable at that moment. I just didn't want to learn magic.

"It's not that scary," he almost smiled, "you just have to control yourself."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I sniffled as I fluffed up the blankets and pulled them tighter around me.

"You're so odd, Oceana. One moment you're closed off, and the next you're admitting you're afraid. You're an interesting woman," he mused before clicking his tongue and opening the door.

"Did you kill him?" I asked before he could leave. "My father, that is," I finished as I looked down at the velvet bedspread and began picking at it with my fingers.

"Your father?" He whispered, for I could tell that I caught him off-guard.

"Yes. Garrick Howl. We're you the elder who executed him publicly?"

"Why are you asking me this?" He questioned, and I could tell it was to avoid answering me. That was almost enough to tell me what I needed to know.

"Were you the elder that ate him in front of Tyrenius?" I breathed as I tried to control my emotions once again. "Who humiliated him and tore him apart because he didn't have a pure heart?" It made complete sense to me if Dryden had killed my father because why else would April have been so hostile toward him this morning? I knew she saw him before, and now I imagined it was at the execution.

"Oceana..." he trailed off as he stepped toward me, but I shied away from him.

"You Monster!" I shouted as I picked up a pillow and threw it at him. "What was the reason for eating him? Was some magician trying to bring him back from the dead? Or was all that just another lie?" I sobbed as I continued to throw pillows until there weren't anymore left. After I scattered all the pillows on the floor, I fell onto my side and covered my face as I sobbed. I hated Dryden, and I would never forgive him. How could you forgive someone for something so terrible?

"Oceana," he whispered as I felt him pick me up. I tried to fight back, but the familiar ringing of his power trickled through me. He was calming me down, but I didn't want to be calm. "I wish I could explain everything to you but not tonight. You've heard enough," he breathed, and I could've sworn I heard his voice crack as if my emotions affected him. However, I knew I had to be mistaken. A Monster like him wouldn't feel remorse just because a human like me was broken.

"I hate you," I cried as I lay limp in his arms. "I'll forever hate you."

"I know," he whispered as he reached out and pushed my sweaty hair away from my face. "I know you will."

"You ruined my life, you destroyed my family, all for what? What was it for?" I sobbed as I closed my eyes and prayed to our Mother to be somewhere else. Anywhere else but in his arms. I hated that he had this power to control me, I hated that I was here in Tyrenius, I hated that my sister didn't fight for my father's life, and I hated that I was still alive. I wanted to die. I wanted this life to be over with because I would never conform, nor would I ever give in.

It was useless to be here because I would just end up dead anyway.

"For Landria," he muttered. "I already told you, you don't understand. But trust me. It's for my country."

"And that was my family," I sobbed before another buzz pulsed through my body. This time, I could feel again.

"I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry, Oceana. I'm sorry about your family—especially your father," he stated as he looked down at me with those cold blue eyes. I didn't want his apology, nor did I accept it.

"I will never forgive you," I promised him before I pushed him away and ran out the door.

I ran down the hall and pushed my way outside. I had to find the brick road that led me back to the barrier. It was hard to see in the darkness, but the stars supplied some light. It didn't help that I was still crying, and I felt faint from not eating anything apart from a turkey leg I vomited up.

I tried to scan the yard as quickly as possible because I could feel Dryden's power close by. I knew he was going to come after me, so I had to be fast.

Because I remembered the brick path was in the front yard, I began running across the lawn trying to find a patch of hard stone beneath my feet. It was harder than I thought to find the rough brick among the soft grass, but I eventually found it.

Praying to our Mother I could escape, I began running as fast as I could down the path and through the dark forest. I had no idea what creatures called the forests of Tyrenius home, but I knew nothing could be worse than the Monster I left and the fate ahead of me. I was going to run into the barrier. I was going to end this once and for all because I wasn't going to allow Dryden to own me or change my beliefs. Nobody was going to convince me that the high elders who turned into Monsters were good. Not after what Dryden did to my father.

The memory was still fresh, but I had to force it away. I needed to concentrate on not tripping over my feet and long dress as I ran.

The cool night air left my lungs crisp as I breathed in deeply. It smelled of pine and cedar, flowers and summer, and I never smelled anything more amazing in my entire life. Perhaps, it wasn't all magic. Maybe this place really was as gorgeous as it seemed. However, that didn't change my mind. I still wanted to escape this nightmare where I was surrounded by memories of my family. They were all memories I wanted to forget, but I knew I would never be able to. My imagination ran wild with the picture of Dryden eating my father publicly, and I felt a wave of nausea clench my stomach. But I wasn't going to stop. I didn't know how far the barrier was, but I wasn't going to give up. I would escape, even if it meant dying.

My lungs began to burn. My legs began to cramp up from the lack of water, but I didn't stop. There was nothing more terrifying than being stuck in a country with the Monster who murdered your father. It didn't matter if my sister was brainwashed, I would never become like her: weak, cowardly, and ashamed.

I pulled my dress up higher to keep it from catching and snagging on the branches around me. No matter how much I held it up, it still caught against the thick wood. Many times I thought I would fall on my face or fall and crack my head on a rock, but I didn't. I persevered through my adrenaline rush.

I was still a little faint from Dryden having used his magic to calm me down until I submitted to him and couldn't fight back. But my strength was regaining itself little by little. I knew that food would revive me faster than anything else, but I wasn't about to sit and search for edible grubs or weeds. I needed to continue on. I could still feel the ringing hum of Dryden's power behind me, and I knew he was either gaining on me or he was so angry his power could be felt from this far away. Either way, I wasn't taking any chances.

I knew he was angry and frustrated with me, but what did he expect? Did he assume that I was a naive human he could convince of anything, and I would just forgive him for murdering my father? Did he think I would forgive him for the war he started and the mess he created for my world? If he assumed I could overlook all of the horrible things he has done in his life, then he is far more unintelligent than he appears.

I felt my body slow down as my muscles clenched and twisted. I needed water and food, but I couldn't stop. I knew I had to be closer to the barrier than I assumed because it didn't take Chefford and me long to reach the house. I just wasn't sure if I would emerge at Nortadane or another place. It had to be Nortadane because the dark wall surrounded all of Landria. I would be home soon, and I could see my mother.

I missed my mother, but seeing April made me miss my whole family even more. I wanted my father and sister back at home. I wanted us altogether again, but that would never happen until we died and passed on to another life. Hopefully, the life beyond was better than the one in this world.

"Keep going," I painted as I continued to slow down. "You can...you can do this." I knew forcing my way through the barrier meant instant death, but I wanted to die. I could at least be with my father. Maybe, I wouldn't die. But I knew that was a lie. If an elder couldn't force his way through the barrier when he was full of magic and power, then surely I couldn't either. I never felt the spirits within me, I never whispered a spell, so my body didn't have any trace of power in it. No matter what Dryden said about all of us being connected through magic, it wasn't true about me. I never attended the academy, and I never would. I didn't want to learn magic. I would rather die than be connected to the elders that destroyed my life and world.

Soon, I began to feel the familiar ringing of the barrier, and I knew I was close. I had to be only a few feet away for my bones vibrated beneath my skin. I made it. I could do this.

With every step the vibrations grew stronger, and I knew that I would soon step through the darkness into pain. It would hurt as I burned and melted into a pile of slush, but I didn't care. I was going to end this once and for all.

I felt another rush of power behind me, and I knew Dryden was close by. However, I gained more energy from slowing down. Before I felt the overwhelming hum of his power nearby, I stepped into the barrier as pain and darkness overcame me.