I had been avoiding Kendrick just as much as he had been avoiding me after the declaration of the engagement between the Alpha and me was official. And he surprised me when he stepped into the kitchen where I was eating my breakfast this morning. Rillon was already out running with his pack and as usual I spent my mornings with Miss Abby, in an attempt to comfort her after the news of Joseph's disappearance.

Our eyes met as the knight entered the room, but he instantly broke eye contact and went for the plate of freshly made biscuits. I was relieved when Angela entered shortly after him and sat down beside me, not bothered by the coldness in the air.

"Last night Gabby told me they're staying behind in the castle," was the first thing she said, "you ordered her to?"

"And good morning to you too," I muttered but only got a glare from her, so I answered her question with a sigh, "I need someone I trust to look after things when I'm gone," while offering her the butter which she gladly accepted and reached for a bread roll.

"How many soldiers will you leave her?" she turned to ask Kendrick.

"Enough to protect them," he said and poured a cup of coffee for himself.

"And what about the ships?" she insisted, "you said they might sail here to attack us from both sides."

"They won't," he told her confidently, "they're after the king, and I've spread the word about our small army and that Adrian is joining us on the battlefield. They won't make the effort to load the ships if there's no need for it."

"They think it's an easy win then?" I muttered.

"We want them to think that, remember," he said sternly and our eyes met briefly.

Angela peered from me to him and then back at me again and decided to eat elsewhere and leave us alone. I would have asked her to stay but I couldn't find a good enough reason.

"I heard you had a party, and that you're engaged. Congratulations," he muttered when she left, as he sipped on his drink by the counter. Me and Abby exchanged glances and she instantly cleared the room and just moments later the kitchen was empty except for me and the knight.

"Thank you," I answered him, and twisted the ring around my finger nervously. Why did he always make me feel like I was the bad guy?

"Just tell me one thing, Adrian," he asked and I peered up at his face. "Are you doing this for the sake of your country, or for love?"

"None of your business," I hissed and reached for my coffee.

"I guess not," he said, "but as your colonel I'd like to know where things will go from here, what's your plan for Gera?"

"So you're making this formal now?" I snapped. "He proposed, and I said yes. And we will change history together, that's all you need to know."

He looked thoughtful at me for a while, then he nodded. "It's for the sake of your people then," he concluded with a low voice.

"What makes you think that?" I asked with a raised voice, "I adore him and he will make a great husband."

"Yes, but do you love him?" He taunted, but I knew what he was trying to do, so I calmed myself down before it turned into a fight.

"I don't need to justify myself to you Kendrick," I spat, "we flirted, we fooled around and there could have been more between us, but to be honest Randy, we never even got to the point where we fell in love."

"I did," he said and looked down at the bread in his hand. "And since you're marrying someone else, I just need to know if you'll be happy with him?" He told me as he raised his head back up. "Tell me yes and I'll leave you both alone."

"And if I say no?" I countered even though it was a silly question.

"Then I'll fight for you, then I'll try harder to prove myself to you," he said with determination in his eyes.

I sighed and raised from my seat to walk up to him, "Kendrick," I mumbled, "I am marrying him because I want him, and that's all you need to know. So please move on, because I have." And then I left him alone in the kitchen to let my words sink in.

The rest of the day was a blur of emotions. Barclay had me sign papers, Eli reported some news from Uxbrid about the numbers of citizens who were traveling there from smaller villages in hope to be more protected there. I felt bad for them since we were taking most of the soldiers with us, but they didn't know that. Eli and Roland had already decided which ones were staying and who was coming with us.

I ate lunch with Penelope and Matilda who were still talking about the late night party with the lycans. They chatted about how lovely they were, so manly and so different, but I was too distracted to listen. All my thoughts were focused on Roland, why was he so obsessed with me? When he first came here he had no interest in me at all. I was the one who'd been flirting with him, teasing my way into his heart. While he had a woman at home waiting for him. He said he'd been willing to lose it all for me, and he had in a way. He was a deserter and a traitor to them now, as he had once been to me. But it did not add up, those strong feelings he claimed he had for me. He had been the one who'd asked me to take it slow, but now he was willing to fight Rillon for my hand?

I sighed deeply and left the girls, excusing myself to go and continue with my paperwork. I had new laws to prepare. If I was to die on the battlefield my successor would have to deal with the tiresome task of revoking them, and I would laugh at him from my grave while he did so.

Time moved so quickly, perhaps it was because I knew this might be the last week living in this castle. I wanted to trust my lover and my friends when they said they were confident in our victory, but the truth was we were greatly outnumbered. Lycans were strong, yes, but they were not immortal.

I skipped dinner and spent my time wandering the halls of my castle, reminiscing childhood memories and the few good times I've had with my brother. I acted like I hated him, he'd bullied me most of my life, but sometimes I missed the jerk. I did not miss my father though, and as I thought about him I began to walk towards my mothers room.

Outside the room stood two guards who gave me a short nod and opened the door for me as I walked up to them. "The queen is resting," one of them informed me as I walked past him but I didn't care, I needed to speak to her now.

"Mother?" I called out as I entered her luxurious quarter. A place I'd rarely visited, even as a child.

"Harry?" she asked surprised as she sat up in her bed, but looked terribly disappointed as she noticed it was me.

"No, it's me, Adrian," I muttered and walked up to her bedside. "Harry is dead, remember?"

"Yes," she said, now looking as stern as ever. "What brings you here?"

"I came to tell you I'm engaged," I said, but hid the ring on my finger. I did not need her to tell me how plain it looked, because to me it was my most precious belonging and I did not want her to taint it with her opinions.

"That's wonderful news dear," she said and gave me a weak smile, "tell me all about her."

"He is the leader of Faria," I said, and met her confused eyes, but the gender of my spouse was ignored, instead she was instantly focusing on politics.

"Faria?" she asked thoughtfully, "they are our enemies, son."

"Not anymore," I said, knowing full well she would have forgotten all about this conversation in a few hours. But something inside me needed to tell her all about my choices, and my accomplishments. "I've made peace with them, and I'm marrying their Alpha."

"Your father will not be pleased," she muttered and pulled the blanket tighter around herself. "Lycans are monsters."

"My father is not here, so he can't say much about it," I sighed, "I just want you to know I'm happy."

She looked confused, "where is the king then? He never told me he was leaving. When will he be back?"

I sighed, knowing this was a lost cause, she could never be happy for me, nor be proud of who I had become. I was not Harry. So I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Get some rest mother, I'm sure he'll be back in the morning."

Before I closed the door behind me I peered at the old woman, she was my mother, but she had never been my family. I could never love her. I only felt pity for her. This was my goodbye, and a dark part of me wished she would be dead when I returned from my war.