reminder: it is never your fault.

also, if the process here is wrong, please let me know. i researched as much as i could, but i would like to be corrected if there's any mistake!

*

Rhysand turns twenty-seven.

Their Halloween costumes this year are Timmy Turner and Trixie Tang, and Andy thinks Rhysand looks cute in his pink shirt and cap.

He spends Christmas and New Year with Andy and her dad. Andy prints out another picture of them in matching outfits, this time in white, with cute Christmas hats, and writes at the back:

To my Rhysand,
Our second Christmas together :D I love you always, in all ways.
- your sunshine. (sanford works too. Or baby). <333

The second album he worked hard for gets great numbers, and Andy's so proud of him. Rhysand is interviewed, and he's asked about his relationship. He doesn't divulge details about Andy, but he says she's the person he's writing lyrics for.

Andy turns twenty-two, and for their third anniversary, Rhysand brings her for a weekend away on the beach. Andy thinks it's perfect, and she has tears in her eyes when Rhysand makes love to her in their small, cozy cabin, and he kisses her tears away and whispers, overwhelmingly, pressing his forehead to hers, squeezing their locked fingers beside her head, "I love you, sunshine. There's no one else for me but you."

Andy breathes the words right back. She believes him.

Even—even though Andy doesn't talk to Kyle anymore. Even though she doesn't ask about work, doesn't ask about Sophia.

She has a month before graduation, and she's excited.

It's a great morning. Andy finished a great practice session with Johann last night for her thesis, and she has another one today, but she wakes up in Rhysand's arms and freshens up quick in the bathroom, and then she kisses him awake, brushing her lips over the line on his back.

Rhysand groans into his pillow and mutters, "Sunshine, stop that."

Andy giggles into his skin, keeps kissing him. "Good morning, baby."

He turns over on the bed and blinks at her blearily.

"You're so cute." Andy grins and wraps him up in a tight hug, burying her head on his bare chest, and Rhysand's arms come lazily around her small body. "C'mon, you promised me we'd get breakfast before you drop me off at school. And you have work today."

He groans. "Too early," he rasps sleepily.

"It's nine, love."

Rhysand's hands curl behind her back, fingers grazing her hipbones. "Does this hurt?"

He's talking about the bruises all over her skin. Andy's face heats, thinking about last night, and she kisses his collarbone. "No."

"What about this?" he asks, voice low, hands traveling to her neck and throat.

"No," Andy answers again, shaking her head. "My legs are shaky, though."

Rhysand huffs out a laugh. His eyes are closed. "Do I need to apologize?"

"No, I love it." She smiles widely, grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers together. "Come on, baby, I want to get breakfast with you."

"Let's just lie here in bed," Rhysand murmurs lazily. "And we're already naked. Perfect."

Andy laughs, weakly hitting his shoulder. "I'd love to, but I have practice for my thesis defense. And you have to do magic with your music and work and earn money."

He hums. "Quite hard being the breadwinner."

"I'll join you soon," she promises lightly, giggling, and bends down to kiss his lips. "I'll shower without you if you don't get up."

Rhysand grabs her wrist before she can get off him. "Sunshine."

"Yeah?"

Rhysand opens his eyes. Andy can't read his face. "I—want to ask you something."

Andy blinks at him. "What is it?"

Rhysand sits up. Andy moves so she faces him, eyebrows drawing together.

"After your graduation," he starts slowly, running a hand through his messy hair, "will you be staying here? I mean, working and teaching here? In South Bend?"

She nods slowly. "That's...that's the plan, yes."

Rhysand keeps his gaze locked with hers. "Then," he says, taking a deep breath, "then you'll have to move out of your dorm."

Andy doesn't know where this is going. "Yes."

"I talked to Jenner already," Rhysand murmurs, reaching for her fingers. "And he doesn't mind. And you practically live here now, anyway, you have a key. So if you want to...you can move in. Here, with me. We can stay here for a few years until we're stable enough, and we can, I don't know, find a place of our own. After that."

Andy blinks, heart soaring in her throat, that she only manages to choke out a pathetic, "Oh."

"You don't have to answer right now," Rhysand rushes to say, clasping her hand in between both of his. "You can think about it after your thesis. It was just on my mind, and...and I wouldn't have to say goodbye to you, or drive you back somewhere else. Wouldn't have to sleep without you."

Andy sucks in a deep breath. She wants that, she wants that, but..."What if," she starts, swallowing hard, "what if you get annoyed with all the makeup in the bathroom?"

Rhysand's mouth twitches. "You already leave your makeup everywhere. I'm fine with it."

"What if I accidentally burn your kitchen down?"

"It'll be our kitchen," he says, lips curling up into that sinful half-smile, and he pulls her to him. "And you won't, you know your way around more than Jenner does. You know where the baking powder is, the vegetable oil, everything."

"What if I—"

"Baby," Rhysand says, laughing, bumping his head on her shoulder. "You're worrying so much."

Andy sighs. "You won't have your own space anymore, Rhys," she reasons quietly, running her fingers in the soft strands of his hair. "I won't have my own space anymore."

Rhysand wraps his arms around her waist.

"And when we...when we fight," Andy says, kissing his head, "we won't be able to step back and call each other when we're ready."

He pauses for a moment. "You don't want to?" he asks quietly.

"Of course I want to, Rhys, baby." She pulls back, cups his face, and says firmly, "My heart is going crazy with what you're asking me. Of course I want to. I'm just...wary. That we might regret it."

"I know what I'm asking, Sanford," he says, pursing his lips. "We can...we can talk about it more after your thesis defense. The chores, the rent, the space thing. Just think about it, yeah?"

Andy smiles and nods. Rhysand's thumbs brush the back of her hands, and he kisses her forehead sweetly.

"I'm going to shower," he says, throwing off the covers.

"I'm coming with you," Andy singsongs, jumping on his back, and Rhysand grunts in surprise but he catches her anyway. He always does.

While they dress, Rhysand smacks her butt. Andy pushes him, laughing, and grabs the watch he's putting on.

"That's mine," he drawls, opening his palm. "Give it back."

"Think I'll wear this today," she says, grinning, puts it on her own wrist. "Ah, it looks cute with my outfit!"

"Give it back tonight," he says, relenting, raising an eyebrow. "That's your gift to me."

Andy kisses him. "Thank you for keeping it."

Rhysand leans down and kisses her harder. "Come on. I'm hungry."

*

Andy was with Johann when MJ calls.

It rings very loudly in the empty classroom, and Johann stops abruptly, blinking, and Andy snatches her phone from her pocket with a wince. "Sorry, go on."

She doesn't answer it and puts it on silent mode, setting it on the table.

Johann continues with their practice session, and Andy fiddles with her index cards when MJ calls again. And again, and again.

Her friend looks at her. "S'okay, Andy, it seems important. We need a break, anyway."

Andy smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, Johann. This'll be quick."

He waves her off and goes to get some water.

Andy picks up. "Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?" MJ snarls, and it makes Andy flinch—the ginger has never spoken so harshly towards her. "Andy, where are you, we need to see you now."

"I'm in school, practicing for my defense," she rushes to answer, blinking, not knowing why her friend sounds so worried...and angry. "Why, what's happening?"

"Stay there, don't move."

"For fuck's sake," Sabina's voice snaps. "Andy. Your nudes are spreading everywhere. School pages, group chats, everywhere."

Andy...Andy doesn't process it as quickly as she should, but her face pales, and her breathing catches in her throat, and she manages to stutter, "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Your nudes, your pictures," MJ rushes to explain. "You only sent them to Rhysand, right?"

"Wait," Andy whispers, body freezing, and she can't move. "Wait, wait, wait. My—pictures. Of me, the explicit ones?"

"Yes, where in the campus are you?"

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God.

Andy's knees buckle, and she crashes into a chair, feeling her breaths coming up short, her vision getting cloudy and blurry, and she can't breathe, can't breathe—

"Andy!" Sabina yells. "Andy, stay with me, kid. Where in the campus are you?"

"She's having a panic attack, Sab, I told you not to tell her while we're on the way—!"

"Jesus Christ, Andrea. Tell us now so we can fix this—"

"Howard Hall," she chokes out, fists her shirt so she can have some oxygen in her lungs, "se-second floor, 201."

"Stay there, don't move."

"Andy, Andy, stay with me," MJ says and it's gentle, and soothing, like the voice she uses when Andy's crying. "Andy, we're near where you are, okay? Come on, bub, breathe."

When her friends get there, she's crouching, curling up against herself, counting from one to ten, pulling the strands of her hair, bottom lip trembling.

Johann doesn't know what to do, but MJ kicks him out. Sabina crouches in front of her. "Andy. Andrea. Listen to me."

Andy's breathing is so loud. "Sab," she says, voice shaking, "Sab, I don't—I don't—"

"This is not your fault," her friend says firmly, grabbing her hands and squeezing them tight. "Kid. This is not your fault. Who did you send them to?"

"Just Rhysand," Andy whispers, clutching Sabina's wrists, digging her nails into her skin. She'll worry about hurting her friend later. "J-just Rhysand, I swear, I didn't—I didn't—"

"Here's what we're going to do." Sabina stares fiercely into her eyes, and Andy's struggling for breath, chest heaving tight, piercing her nails into her friend's arms—"You're going to trust me. You're going to trust MJ. We're going to take down everyone sharing this, everyone talking shit about you, okay? First, you gotta calm down for me, kid. Calm down a bit for me. We're going to Rhysand after, okay?"

MJ caresses her back. "Bub, you're okay. You're fine. We're going to fix this. Breathe in and out, bub, that's great."

Andy doesn't know how long it takes, but her breathing gets even. It's still shaky. Still staggering, but even. She can feel her heart beating fast, pounding through her ears. Her vision is clear, but her ears are ringing with loud sounds and noises, and she closes her eyes, clenches her hands into fists and takes a deep breath.

When she can stand on her own, walk on her own, she leaves the classroom with MJ and Sabina, and as expected, a number of heads turn her way. Andy keeps her head high, and her friends squeeze her hands reassuringly.

Rhysand is still working when they get to his apartment, but Jenner holds the door open. "What—"

"We need water," Sabina tells him, sitting Andy down on the couch. "And a blanket. And you need to fucking sit down after until your roommate gets here, we need to know what happened."

From the corner of her eye, Andy sees Jenner blink. "Is she—is she alright?"

"Water," Sabina snaps. "Blanket. Go."

Jenner turns around immediately.

MJ sits next to her. "Andy. Do you think—"

"No," Andy says. "No, Rhysand wouldn't. He wouldn't. He deletes my pictures a few minutes after he gets them. I told him to. He couldn't have."

Sabina purses her lips. "Call him."

Andy's fingers shake when she dials his number.

Rhysand picks up after two rings. "Hey, sunshine."

Andy inhales. Her breath is shaky. Slow. "Rhys. Rhys, can you come home?"

He pauses for a moment. "What's wrong?" he asks suddenly, and Andy can hear the worry in his tone. "You don't sound okay."

"Please come home," Andy chokes out, pressing her palms to her eyes. "Please, please just come home, Rhys, please."

"I'm coming," he says, and Andy can hear the shuffling on the other end, and Andy can imagine him hurriedly scrambling for his things. "I'm coming, are you hurt? What's wrong?"

Sabina snatches the phone off her ear. "She's not fine. We'll tell you when you're here. It's important, so you better fucking hurry up."

Jenner gives Andy the water, sits next to her, and wraps the blanket around her body. Andy didn't even know she was freezing.

Rhysand comes home in less than ten minutes. He slams open the door, tossing his bag somewhere behind him, and makes a beeline for Andy, crouching in front of her, grabbing her hands. "Sunshine, sunshine, what's wrong? Can you talk to me?"

Sabina and MJ keep quiet. As much as they want to ask him, they let Andy do it. This is her business with Rhysand—she needs to ask him.

"My pictures are spreading all over the internet," Andy starts, the words feeling hollow, and Andy watches Rhysand's face change—from worry, to confused, to shocked, to dread, to terror. "You deleted them, right?"

"Yes," Rhysand answers quickly. "I deleted all of them. They're not in my—I didn't save them or anything, you told me to delete them—"

"And you?" Sabina whips her head to Jenner.

Rhysand's roommate raises his palms with wide eyes. "I had no idea. I have no access to Rhysand's accounts, I don't touch his phone, I don't touch Andy's phone. I never knew she had pictures in the first place, and for fuck's sake, why the fuck would I spread them?"

MJ is scrolling through her phone, tapping very rapidly. "I'm taking screenshots as evidence. We're going to have these taken down, I already contacted a lawyer, we're reporting this."

"Can we just—" Andy sucks in a deep breath, feeling dizzy all over again. Rhysand squeezes her hands. "Can we just have them taken down?" Andy whispers desperately, fresh, new waves of tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't want this to be reported. I don't want to sue anyone. Please, please, just get them off the internet, please."

"Sunshine," Rhysand says, brushing his thumbs over her skin, wiping away her tears. "Baby. This isn't—this isn't something we can brush off easily. This is your privacy. Your rights."

"I shouldn't have sent them," Andy whispers brokenly, hanging her head. "I shouldn't have taken them."

"This is not your fault, Andy, fuck's sake," Sabina snaps, face flaming with anger. "Whoever shared your pictures is going to hell, okay? I don't care how long it takes. Harton, care to tell us who you shared them with?"

"I didn't send them to anyone," Rhysand says, standing up to face Sabina. "I kept all of Sanford's pictures to myself."

"You were the only one she sent them to," her friend counters, voice rising. "No one else."

Rhysand's eyes flash angrily. "I wouldn't do this to her."

"Stop," Andy says, shaking her head, "stop, stop, stop. Stop accusing Rhys, Sab. He wouldn't do this to me."

Sabina's jaw tightens, but she takes a deep breath and looks away, crossing her arms.

Andy swallows thickly and looks at MJ. "Is there a way to get them off the internet?"

"I'm on it," she says, furiously typing on her phone. "I need a computer. And I'm going to call a lawyer to ask what we need to do."

Andy and her friends, and Rhysand and Jenner, stay up all night. MJ talks to her family's lawyer, and she walks them through the step by step process of getting her photos down.

"You own the photo, so the copyright for the photo is yours. We send out copyright notices. Evidence will also do the trick, make sure you have all the details I listed," the lawyer says through the speaker phone. "So when you report this, posts will be taken down, and accounts found guilty of sharing these photos will be deleted."

Andy sags into Rhysand's chest. Rhysand's arms tighten around her.

"The problem is," she continues, and Andy freezes, shutting her eyes, "these photos have already been circulated around your social, professional, and personal circles. We can take them down, but we can't do anything about the people who have already seen it. The fact that her face can be seen does not help."

MJ purses her lips. "And this results to?"

"Usually, loss of employment or future job prospects. Destroyed social relationships, loss of scholarships, funding, and sponsorships."

Andy can hear her chest crack open.

"And if we file a lawsuit?" Sabina asks, narrowing her eyes.

The lawyer pauses. And then she answers, "It will take time. And it depends on how much money you're willing to spend. Filing a lawsuit can also result to bad press."

The redhead faces her. "Andy."

"No lawsuit," she whispers, shaking her head. "No, I don't want to do it. Just take them down."

"Sanford," Rhysand says, putting his hands on her shoulders, eyebrows drawn together in concern. "We have the money. It's fine, I'll handle it."

"No," Andy repeats, gritting her teeth. Angrily, she wipes the wetness on her skin and looks at him. "No, I don't want to—I don't want to ruin my life over this. I don't want to spend hours, days, months, years doing this. I just want them deleted."

Rhysand stares at her. "Sunshine. Are you sure?"

"I'll lose my mind if we file a case, Rhys, please, I'm sure."

"Okay," MJ says, nodding. "Okay, it's her choice. It's her decision. Andy, you let us know if you change your mind. We'll get everything needed in case you do."

Andy nods. She buries her head in Rhysand's neck, and his hands smooth down her back.

"Get some rest," Sabina tells her. "You have your thesis defense in two days. Rhysand, go with her. We'll take it from here."

"Get them off the internet, please," Andy pleads her friends, sobbing pathetically. "Please, please."

"Bub, don't worry," MJ murmurs, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "We'll handle it. We'll take them down. Go to sleep."

Rhysand pulls her arm. "Baby, come on."

Andy goes with him.

Numbly, she takes a shower. Rhysand rinses her, hands gentle and loving, but Andy can barely feel them on her skin. She's exhausted, she can feel it in her bones.

In her chest. Deep in her heart.

Rhysand dresses her. Andy brushes her teeth silently.

He holds her when they get on the bed, and Rhysand hugs her tight. "Sunshine, you're okay. We'll get through this, I'm here."

Andy nods mutely, staring at the fabric of his shirt.

"Sunshine," Rhysand says, worried. And Andy hates it—hates that he's worrying about her over something he has no control over, something that was her fault in the first place. "Sanford, can you talk to me?"

Andy's bottom lip trembles.

Rhysand squeezes his eyes shut. Holds Andy to him, pressing kisses to her hair as she cries. "Sunshine. I love you. We'll get through this."

Her tears soak his shirt, and she cries until she can't anymore.