The visits become frequent as a month flies by. They become so frequent that Andy leaves her stuff around and doesn't bother knocking or ringing the doorbell anymore. She used to find it hard to do, because it isn't her home, but Jenner assured her that she's always welcome to crash or to work or to sleep or to eat or to just annoy Rhysand—they've left space in their shoe cabinet for her shoes, and the blanket hanging over the arm of the couch is now hers.

She's made a study desk out of Rhysand's studio coffee table in front of the couch, and he grumbles about Andy's books and notes all over his studio but doesn't do anything about it.

One morning, Andy's late to class, and realizes she left her binder at Rhysand's place. Frantic as she rushes to the auditorium, she shoots him a text. BINDER IS AR U RPLACE PLS COME AND BRING TO ME I WIL PAY I IN ENDLESS COFEE & CHORES

She pockets her phone, hopes that Rhysand will understand, and enters the room. Her cheeks flame at the stern look her professor gives her, and she bites her lip and takes a seat at the last row.

Five minutes later, her phone buzzes with a text, telling her that Rhysand's outside—by the exit that's nearest to her building.

Heaving a sigh of relief, she carefully slips out of the room again and runs to meet him.

His car isn't even parked, and he looks annoyed as he passes her the notebook flooded with papers and stray notes.

"I am so sorry," Andy mumbles as she hugs her binder to her chest, looking up at his smoldering gaze. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

Because she's certain she did. Rhysand doesn't get up before ten o'clock.

He glares at her. "Stop leaving your shit around."

"Noted," Andy says, smiling, and knows she's forgiven. "Thank you so much!"

And before she could think on it, she's on her tiptoes and crashing onto his body, arms wrapping around his neck in a quick and tight hug. She feels his breath catch, but only for a second, because she's already pulling away. "Thank you! I'll see you later!"

Then she's off, and doesn't let herself think about it. They don't talk about it either, when Rhysand comes to pick her up from work.

One Friday afternoon, Jenner's busy playing video games downstairs when she enters the house and takes off her shoes.

"It's my favorite girl!" the boy yells, not taking his eyes off the television. "Come bearing coffee again?"

She grins and heads over to him to ruffle his hair. "I owe the caveman upstairs tons of it. I woke him up last week."

"Ah, good luck with that," he says, pausing the game to glance at her. His eyes twinkle mischievously. "He's in a mood today, so don't poke the bear."

"He's always in a mood," Andy says lightly, turning around to climb the stairs. "Dinner in an hour?"

"Deal," he calls, then resumes his game.

It's funny, Andy thinks, how easy this home has become her home as well.

She takes a deep breath before slowly opening the door to Rhysand's studio.

Said bear is leaning back against the sofa with his eyes closed, but there's a crease between his eyebrows that lets Andy know he isn't asleep.

Andy steps inside and sets the coffee on his desk. "Rough day?"

He doesn't answer, and for a moment, Andy considers leaving him alone and joining Jenner downstairs for a game.

But she doesn't. Just sits next to him.

Andy has started to feel when Rhysand needs space. He's quiet, yes, but he listens to her. And sometimes, he doesn't have the energy to listen as well, and all he needs is a break from all her noise. So Andy keeps her mouth shut and works on her homework.

It's only when she's at page ten for her reading that Rhysand speaks. "How'd you get here?"

His voice is raspy. Like he hasn't used it in hours.

Andy looks at him. His gaze is half-lidded. "Took the bus. I can't borrow MJ's or Sabina's car all the time."

Rhysand grits his teeth. "You should've texted me."

"You were busy," Andy squeaks, recognizing the coldness in his tone. "Are busy. Are you okay? Working on something?"

"Doesn't matter," he mutters flatly, running a hand through his hair. Andy looks at it and feels the sudden urge to see what it feels like. "You brought coffee again," he says, narrowing his eyes at the cup on his desk.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. It's gone cold now," Andy mumbles, pushing the book off her lap and standing up. "I'll get you another one—"

Before she could take another step, Rhysand's fingers are curled around her wrist.

Alarmed, she looks at him with wide eyes.

Rhysand's face is impassive, but his stare pierces through her. "Stop getting me coffee. Stop spending money on me. I'm fucking sick of it."

"Don't curse," Andy whispers helplessly, glancing at his hold. Her heart threatens to run away from her chest as she looks back at Rhysand. "And I owe you, remember?"

"You don't owe me shit."

"Rhys," Andy starts softly, taking a deep breath, "as much as I find it comfortable staying here, and as much as you and Jenner assure me that it's okay to stay here...it's the least I can do to pay you guys back. And I woke you up last week. I'm sorry."

"Just—" Rhysand growls, tightening his grip on her arm, "don't do it anymore. I don't care if you're here. Jenner doesn't care. Stop doing shit for us. I know you clean around the house and you clean his room too when he's not home."

Jeepers. She thought she'd been discreet. "Why?"

"Why?" Rhysand repeats, voice rising. "We're not Luke, sunshine."

Andy sighs. "Stop talking about my past relationship."

"Relationship?" Rhysand laughs. But it's humorless, and cruel, and mocking. "That wasn't a relationship. You weren't even dating."

That stung a little—the way he said it. Andy bites her lip. "We weren't?"

"This is dating," Rhysand says, sliding his hand down to hers, and lacing their fingers together. Andy's eyes go wide with shock.

His gaze stays locked with hers. "This is dating."

In a swift motion, he has her on his lap, and Andy squeals as she stumbles forward, placing her hands on his chest for balance. Her face is hot; her knees are planted on either side of Rhysand's hips, and his legs are spread wide enough to accommodate her.

She's overwhelmed—his scent, their closeness, the way his body feels underneath her hands—all of it is sending her mind into haywire.

Rhysand, meanwhile, stares at her, face calm and collected, but Andy sees a little bit of something swirling his dark irises.

His hands find her sides, and Andy can't move.

"This is dating," he whispers lowly, leaning forward.

"Oh, jeepers," she whispers, watching his gaze drop to her mouth.

Andy's senses jolt to life once his nose brushes hers—her hands push his shoulders and then she's scrambling to her feet.

"Jenner!" she all but yells, hands clutching her shirt as she swallows, eyes darting everywhere but at him—"Needs help, downstairs, dinner," she stammers, and then she's out of the studio and running down the stairs.

Jenner catches her at the bottom with his features drawn together. "Whoa, hey, you alright?"

"Chinese," Andy says, panting, "order Chinese. I will be right back."

The boy blinks. "Where are you going?"

Andy opens the front door and walks. Stands in the middle of the street.

She's never done anything like that with Luke.

She presses a hand to her chest and beats it once. Twice. "Calm down," she tells it desperately. "Calm down, oh my God. Motherchuckers. Please, calm down. I can't do this."

She's pacing the street while she mumbles to herself.

Later, at dinner, she tries her best to act normal, even when Rhysand's gaze is on her. Jenner notices the tension between them and says, "Something happen?"

Andy stiffens, but Rhysand only leans back against his chair. "Nope."

And on the ride home, she pretends to be asleep, even though her heart and mind are wide awake and panicking.

But she can't escape when they've arrived at her dorm building, and Rhysand's opening the door for her. "Hey."

Andy doesn't meet his eyes—stares at the tree behind him. "Yes?"

She swears she can hear him smiling when he says, "We good, sunshine? Did I cross a line?"

"No," she squeaks immediately, shaking her head. "I mean, yes, we're good. No to the second question. Goodnight."

Before she can run away, Rhysand's pulling her back to him again.

Andy closes her eyes when he turns her around to face him.

"Look at me," he murmurs.

Andy gulps. Opens her eyes.

Rhysand is beautiful. "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."

"Don't."

"Then don't make it awkward," Rhysand says, not harshly, but not gently either. "We're good, right?"

"Yes. I just need to, um, calm down. Sorry."

Rhysand's mouth twitches. "It's been hours."

Andy's face heats as she covers her face with a hand. "Don't tease me," she breathes.

"I wasn't," he says innocently. "I'll see you Monday."

She's spending the weekend with MJ and Sabina. She's surprised he remembers—she mentioned it a few days ago.

"No coffee?" Andy asks, just to lighten the mood.

Rhysand's gaze turns dark. "Just bring yourself."

Andy turns around. "Monday. Goodnight. Thank you for the ride!"

In her room, watching from her window, she sees Rhysand drive away. He really does wait for her to walk safely inside.

Her heart pounds as her mind reels back to earlier this evening.

MJ puts a hand on her hip. She and Sabina have been watching her the moment she entered the room. "Okay, you've been spending a whole lot of time with someone. Who were you with, young lady?"

"No one," the younger answers immediately, rushing to her bed to flop down on the mattress. She covers her face with a pillow.

And squeals. Loudly. Kicks her feet in the air.

"Damn," Sabina says from her desk. "She's gone mad."

MJ groans and sits beside her. "Please don't tell me that was Luke you were just with—who you've been with these past few weeks."

Oh, Luke. Andy sits up, a frown painting her face. She liked Luke. Out of respect for him, she shouldn't be having these thoughts.

Even though they weren't technically dating. As Rhysand pointed out earlier.

A bad feeling creeps up on her chest as she hugs her knees. "Oh, no. I'm a bad person."

"Andy?" Sabina asks, closing the distance between them. She puts a hand on her arm. Andy looks at her, and there's concern in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

MJ also puts a hand on her shoulder. "Tell us."

She takes a deep breath. Remembers what happened, remembers the name she's been doodling all over her notebook, the way her pulse jumps when she sees him.

"I think I have a crush on someone," Andy says slowly, looking at the crease on her dress. "And I shouldn't be—"

"Yes!" Sabina cheers loudly, jumping up from the bed and raising her fist in the air. "Fuck, yes! Who is he? How'd you know him?"

"Sab!" MJ slaps her friend on the arm with drawn eyebrows. "Andy's actually worried about this. Even though we think Luke wouldn't...care if she was seeing someone new."

"He cares," Andy immediately replies in defense, but her shoulders sag. "No, he doesn't. I liked him, though, and I still feel bad."

MJ sighs. "You stopped liking him a long time ago, bub."

Andy scrunches her nose. She doesn't know if she's right. "We weren't really together, were we? We weren't dating?"

Sabina flips her hair over her shoulder and sits again. "No. He treated you like a lackey."

Andy nods. It doesn't hurt her.

"I still feel bad," Andy whines.

"It's just a crush, Andy. It's okay, there's nothing wrong with that. Personally, I think Luke doesn't deserve your respect."

"Yeah," Andy says, nodding. "Yeah, it's just a harmless crush. Why am I talking like something will happen between us?"

"Let something happen if it does, Andy," MJ tells her softly, stroking her hair. "If you want it."

If she wants it.

She thinks about Rhysand and his eyes, his hair and his mouth, the curve of his jaw and neck, the veins on his arms and the length of his fingers—and then she thinks about the deepness of his voice, the low drawls of his, the silent amusement in his gaze when he finds something funny but doesn't let himself smile—and then she thinks about his kindness and his actions, and the way his breath catches when she touches him, and the way he looks when he looks at her—and then this evening. When he touched her and held her.

And suddenly that's enough for her to want more. Andy presses a hand over her chest. "I want it," she whispers. 

*

how are you all! do you guys want double updates in a week rather than once a week? c: please let me know!