uploading early bc im on a roll and i keep writing chapters and im excited for you guys to read them :c my heart HURTS

i'm currently on a 96K word count for TWOU! can you guys believe it omg :(

thank you for all your comments, i love reading them so don't be shy to give your thoughts! also, if you have any questions (about TWOU or otherwise), i'll be happy to answer them c:

in the external link is my pinterest board for TWOU's outfits when i need to write them lmao check it out! 

please enjoy this fluff-filled chapter, and please give How To Woo Sky Walker a read while waiting for chapter 22 ♡ x

*

Andy goes to school and work despite the ache in her chest and ignores Jenner's calls and messages.

After water polo, she goes home to do her homework instead of going out with Bash or Johann. Kat asks her to come to the art studio, but she declines.

Sabina and MJ are visibly worried, but thankfully, they know when to leave her alone. Andy goes about her day fighting the urge to grab her phone and call Rhysand.

At night, when she can't sleep, her tears help—as long as they're silent. She doesn't want to wake her friends.

She goes to the animal shelter alone. It's her first time doing so without Rhysand, and it feels weird. Lily brightens up once she walks in, and Andy tries for a smile.

"Hi, Andy! Where's Rhysand?"

Andy feels an uncomfortable sting pierce through her chest. "Busy," she mumbles, and Lily doesn't push—just hands her the volunteer sheet.

And even without Rhysand, Andy is thankful that she manages to smile and play with the dogs and cats and bunnies. She loves doing this—so for a while, her heart doesn't hurt.

But it's different when she leaves and goes home.

Sabina lets a few nights pass before asking, "Did you two fight again?"

Andy just nods and heads straight to bed.

MJ sighs and pats her on the head. "It's okay, bub. This is what comes with being in a relationship."

Andy wants to say that it was never this tiring with Luke, but she remembers—she was never in a relationship with him. So couples like this fight all the time? Get jealous over friends? Meet up with their exes?

Sabina clicks her tongue. "One roommate almost hooked up with an ex, the other keeps fighting with her boyfriend. You both need to get your shit together."

MJ hits her with a pillow. "Shut up."

Bash texts her a couple of times. Andy replies with a short assurance that she's fine—just so he stops messaging. He does, eventually.

At work, Johann comes to see her again. Andy's not in the mood to entertain him, so she lets him talk while she decorates desserts.

He's in the middle of talking about an awful professor in one of his classes when Andy growls in frustration and drops the piping bag on the counter.

"Andy," Johann says in worry. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" Andy snaps back, sinking down to her knees. "I can't even get the freaking frosting right!"

Johann leans forward on the counter. "I don't see the problem—"

Andy forcefully presses her hands down her face and turns around, but her friend grabs her arm before she can grab another cupcake. "Andy. I don't understand what's going on with you."

She searches his worried gaze and almost crumbles. With a heavy sigh, she says, "I'm sorry, Johann. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's okay." He gives her a smile. "Just...you don't look fine, Andy. Maybe you should take time off."

She's already asked for too much time off from Erika. She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "No, I'm...I'm okay. I just need to focus. You're right about the frosting, it looks fine."

Johann reluctantly lets go of her arm and nods. "Okay. Do you need a ride home? I can wait for you."

Andy shakes her head. "No, I'll be fine. Thank you, Johann."

He hugs her tightly. "Call me if you need anything. Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Andy nods and watches him leave.

For the rest of her shift, Andy makes herself busy. Even though there aren't much customers, and there's not much to do...she can't stay still. If she does, she'll think about Rhysand and then she's going to cry again. Utterly pathetic.

Hours pass, and then the clock tells her it's time to go home. Slowly, Andy takes off her apron in the break room and grabs her bag.

When she steps out of Baked!, she first notices how chilly the night is.

And then she sees him.

Rhysand is leaning against the Jeep with his hands in his pockets.

Andy rubs her eyes. Maybe she's dreaming.

But then Rhysand meets her gaze, and his foot steps forward, and then he's walking towards her and Andy's frozen. She doesn't know what to do.

When he reaches her, he holds her stare.

The pain comes in a sudden rush. All her feelings—confusion, hurt, anger, guilt, helplessness—come rushing back to her as she looks into his eyes.

And though she misses him—God, how she misses him—she turns away. Her feet start moving on their own. "I don't want another fight," she says in a small voice, quickening her pace. Her fingers tighten their grip on her bag.

Rhysand is fast—he snatches her wrist around his palm like it's nothing and pulls her back. "I don't want one, either," he tells her, and as always, Andy can't read his face. But he pauses, and the silence stretches on, and then what comes out of his lips next stuns Andy. "Sanford, will you let me apologize?"

She blinks, and almost falters in her composure. The fact that he asked—Andy understands the implication of the rest of the unsaid sentence: or do you need more time?

She looks up at him. "You hurt me."

Rhysand's face softens, and there's no mistaking the utter sincerity and pleading in his voice when he murmurs, "I'm sorry."

Andy sucks in a deep breath. "Bash is just a friend."

"Okay."

A tear falls down Andy's cheek. She swipes it off with her fingers. "And I'm sorry I hurt you."

Rhysand pulls her hand and crushes her to him.

Andy sobs in his warmth and his smell—cologne, cigarettes, home.

"I'm sorry," Rhysand repeats softly, brushing his lips against her forehead. "It's just...you looked and smelled different. In his clothes."

Andy nods and closes her eyes.

Rhysand cradles the back of her head and exhales heavily. "Missed you, sunshine."

Andy clutches the back of his shirt with her fists. "I missed you too."

"It's cold," he mumbles. "Have you eaten?"

Andy shakes her head.

"Sunshine."

"I wasn't in the mood," Andy defends herself weakly. She tightens her arms around Rhysand's waist. "You have to feed me."

Rhysand pulls her towards the Jeep.

They don't talk while he drives, but Rhysand keeps one hand on the wheel and the other grips her hand. A couple of times, he brings her hand to his mouth and kisses the inside of her wrist. Andy can't find it in herself to be embarrassed—with how affectionate Rhysand is being, she knows that he regrets their fight.

They stop by a diner and Rhysand orders for them—two plates too many. But Andy doesn't argue. Rhysand probably feels guilty, so she lets him make up for it.

When the waitress leaves, Andy looks at him expectantly.

Rhysand purses his lips. "I'm not good at this relationship shit."

A laugh escapes Andy's lips. "Rhys."

"This is your first, I know," he continues lowly, looking pained to say it. He looks away from her and clears his throat. "But I don't like...talking about. Feelings."

"You don't like talking, period," Andy counters, smiling. "I do all the talking."

Rhysand nods in agreement. He still doesn't look at her. "And I don't like feeling...uncertain. I fucking hate it. Which is why I couldn't tell you how bothered I was about Bash."

Her smile drops. A sudden surge of worry bubbles up in Andy's chest. "What are you uncertain about?" Me? Us?

Rhysand meets her eyes and frowns, as if reading her mind. "Not you. Not us. Me."

Andy can't believe this. She wants to laugh. "Rhys, there is absolutely nothing you should be uncertain about—"

"It's stupid, I know."

What's stupid is that he thinks Andy's not crazy about him.

But deep down, Andy knew his apprehensions about Bash. She knew it and tried to ignore it because Bash was—is her friend. She thought that Rhysand was being unreasonable, but maybe she was, too. "No," Andy murmurs, sucking in a deep breath. "It's not. I...didn't consider your feelings, and I'm sorry. But Rhys, please don't tell me I'm not allowed to see my friend. Please trust me when I say that Bash is just a friend. You are my boyfriend. And there's nothing uncertain about my feelings for you. Okay?"

Rhysand stares at her.

"And I trust you," Andy continues quietly, looking down at her lap. "I'm sorry I made you think otherwise."

He's quiet for a moment—thinking. Then, he asks, "Why do you apologize when you call me?"

Andy's chest aches at his confusion.

His eyebrows furrow. "When you have to tell me something? When I'm busy or not? Why do you always think you're a bother to me?"

Andy tries for a smile. "It's just habit. I'm sorry—Luke just...I know it's not an excuse but I think being with Luke made me think so."

Rhysand clenches his jaw at the mention of his ex-roommate. "When you do that...it makes me feel like you think I don't give a shit about you."

"Rhys—"

"And when you say you don't want me to see you," Rhysand says, "it makes me feel like an asshole. Like you don't trust me enough to take care of you or see every part of you."

Andy gets it. She understands now. "I promise to try and do better. I'll call you and won't apologize for it. I'll call you even though I look like a mess, even though I don't have perfume or makeup on."

Rhysand grips her hand. "I don't care about that shit, okay?"

Andy knows. "Okay," she whispers.

"And I want you to know that thing with Veronica wasn't intentional. I was telling the truth—it was about Sterling. And nothing happened."

It hurt. Andy nods.

"And if we weren't fighting I would've asked if it was okay, or asked you to come with me," Rhysand continues, and Andy believes him—it's terrifying how easily she believes him—"And I'm sorry I didn't. I know how you feel about her."

She bites her lip. "Okay."

Rhysand nods and brushes his thumb against the back of her hand. "Okay."

"This relationship thing is tiring," Andy says with a small laugh.

Rhysand kisses her hand. "Fighting with you is. Being with you isn't. It's the easiest fuckin' thing in the world."

*

Sabina and MJ go to a party on Halloween, but Andy stays with Rhysand in bed. They watch Clueless instead of a horror movie because Andy is a coward, and Rhysand can't say no to her.

And as promised, Rhysand doesn't complain.

"You're being so nice to me it's weird," Andy tells him with a smile.

Rhysand pinches her waist.

Andy slaps his hand away and leans further into his chest.

"This is mine," Rhysand mumbles, pulling the fabric of the gray hoodie Andy's wearing. "You stealing my clothes now?"

Andy stuffs her hands into its pockets and pulls the hood up to her head. "Yes. It's cold."

He shoots her a look.

Andy grins sheepishly at him. She doesn't have to tell him she's stealing it because it smells like him—he probably knows already.

As soon as the movie ends, Andy turns to him and asks, "What do you think?"

"I think it's fucking weird to fall in love with your stepbrother," Rhysand says flatly.

Andy laughs. "Technically, he's her ex-stepbrother."

Rhysand shuts the laptop closed and shakes his head, leaning back against the headboard. "I don't care."

"They're cute!"

Rhysand opens one eye. "Are you sure you don't want to go out? You said Piper texted you earlier. And your roommates are partying somewhere."

It's sweet that he's asking. Andy grins. "I'm sure. I'm too lazy to improvise a costume and get my makeup done. We'll do Halloween next year."

"Costume," Rhysand muses, closing his eyes again. "Next year."

Andy doesn't want to be embarrassed about what she said—she's sure she's spending next year, and the next, and the next, with Rhysand.

So she nods. "Next year. I'll plan and buy everything—we're going as a pair."

"Jesus," Rhysand mutters with an airy laugh. "What happened to you being shy as hell?"

Andy leans over and kisses his cheek. "I still am. Just more comfortable with you. Why? You don't like it?"

He shakes his head. "I love it."

Andy smiles and grabs his hand. "Then come and get chicken nuggets with me. I'm hungry."

"When are you not?" he grumbles, letting himself be dragged away from the bed. He grabs his keys, wallet, and phone on the bedside table and follows Andy out the door, slinging his arm around her shoulder. Rhysand heads straight to Jenner's door first and knocks on it. "We're getting food, what do you want?"

"I'll text you!" shouts his roommate.

"'Kay! See you later!" Andy shouts back, dragging Rhysand with her as they go down the stairs.

Rhysand lets Andy drive. She blasts Disney songs in the car and Rhysand watches her sing. In the drive-thru, Andy orders a twenty-piece box of nuggets. Rhysand raises both his eyebrows and asks, "For the two of us?"

"No, just for me," Andy says. "What do you want?"

A loud laugh bubbles up from Rhysand's chest.

She relays Rhysand's and Jenner's orders to the speaker, and Rhysand pays for their food. As soon as they're all set, Andy parks the Jeep and stuffs her face with her twenty pieces of nuggets. 

Rhysand stares at her, amused, and takes a bite of his burger.

"What? You don't think I can finish this?" Andy asks, pulling her knees up to her chest and dipping her sixth nugget in gravy. It's gone in one bite.

"No," Rhysand answers, grabbing her drink from the cupholder. "I know you can finish it. Just slow down." He leans over with the drink and Andy takes a sip. "You'll choke if you keep stuffing your face like that."

"I can't believe," Andy says with a mouthful of food, "I'm eating like this in front of you. In a hoodie and shorts. WIth a mess of a hair and no makeup."

Rhysand puts her drink down and tilts his head to the side. He stares at her and says quietly, "I like it."

Andy knows. She's trying. She promised Rhysand she won't ever apologize for calling him again, and that she'd let him see every part of her.

Even something as simple as eating fast food in a car in an empty parking lot—Rhysand is happy. And that's all that matters.

Andy turns up the music. "Then don't break up with me as soon as I finish this. I'm going to drink the gravy."

Rhysand blinks. "What?"

She shrugs. "It's a thing I do. MJ and Sab leave the rest of the gravy to me because I drink it. Don't you?"

"No."

"Will you break up with me because of it?"

Rhysand smiles. "No."

"Good," Andy says with a nod, grabbing another nugget. With a mouthful of it, she says, "That's why I ask for three extra orders of gravy—"

"Sunshine," Rhysand cuts her off. "I love you."

Andy chokes.

"Jesus," Rhysand says, snatching her drink from the cupholder once again. "I told you you'll choke—drink this."

Andy coughs and hits her chest with her palm, taking the soda with her free hand and furiously gulping the drink down. Her eyes water and there's no oxygen in her lungs—but what.

What did Rhysand say? How could he tell her that while she was eating!

Rhysand stares at her. "Okay?"

Andy nods and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, not meeting his eyes. "Good," she rasps out.

Rhysand takes the cup away from her. "Slow down."

Andy nods again, looking at her lap.

"Don't feel pressured to answer now," Rhysand says lowly, rubbing the nape of his neck. "And don't think about it too much. I just needed to tell you."

Andy can barely hear him. She can't believe it.

Rhysand reaches over and gently hooks his pinky with hers. "I love you," he says again, quietly this time. "I hope you don't mind."

Andy meets his gaze.

She believes him. She can see it in his eyes.

"Love me back," he murmurs, and there's this sincerity and utter genuinity in his voice and face and eyes that Andy can't help but believe him—"I don't care if it's today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. Just...love me back. Okay?"

Dumbly—stupidly, foolishly and brainlessly, Andy nods.

"Finish that," Rhysand tells her, tipping his chin towards the nuggets. "I'll drive. Jenner's waiting for his food."

Andy nods again. Rhysand steps down from the seat and rounds the car, and Andy crawls across the center console, minding her food and the drinks, to get settled in the passenger's side. And on the way home, she still can't process it. Rhysand shoots her a glance from time to time, but Andy focuses on her food.

She loves him, too. She knows it. Why can't she tell him?

*

RHYSAND SAID IT SJDJSDHSHD

also if someone watched clueless with me (cher, my spirit animal cher), i will marry him