Esmera and Tauram both froze against each other, sharing an alarmed look. This was his palace now, no longer the most dangerous place for them both but probably one of the safest, but that was a truth that hadn't yet begun to sink in for Esmera, and certainly not for Tauram if the way he straightened and fixed his eyes on the door was any indication.

The knock rapped against the wooden barrier between Esmera and Tauram and the rest of the palace again, somehow firmer as if determined not to be ignored.

Lundas stirred where he had made himself comfortable at the bottom of the bed. Jammas rustled where he stood perched on the curtain rail.

Tauram swallowed and took a moment to dry his eyes and gather himself. In the meantime, Esmera snatched up a silken robe that had been thoughtfully draped over the edge of the bed for her. It was the colour of pale pink rose petals with tiger's eyes embroidered on it with bronze thread. It felt like luxury as it slid over Esmera's skin with little more than a swish. Tauram watched her slip it on.

Only when she had tied its belt firmly around her waist did Tauram clear his throat. "Come in," he called, his voice so steady it seemed impossible that he had been shattering in Esmera's arms just a moment ago.

The door swung open, and Princess Kerani stuck her head around it while the scarlet fabric of her outfit fluttered around her. After looking between Tauram and Esmera, she smiled at Esmera. "It's nice to see that you're alive. You too, Bhā'i." Princess Kerani's eyes twinkled with mischief as she turned to her brother, but there was no mistaking the gentle adoration in her smile.

Tauram's eyes went soft, probably at the fact that his little sister had survived her entanglement with the most wicked man they knew and was now free.

That much was clear to see. She was as beautiful as Esmera remembered, but there was a glow in her smile, in her eyes, even in her skin that Ruagu had tarnished every time he came into contact with her. Esmera was glad he was gone. She was glad he would never get to hurt Kerani or anyone else ever again.

"I can say the same about you, Kerani." Despite the emotions pulling at Tauram's mouth, it quirked with his familiar humour. "Now, what do you want? I'm sure you didn't pay me and Esmera a visit just to say you're glad that we survived."

Princess Kerani pouted. "How can you say such a thing?"

Tauram raised his dark eyebrows. "Because I've known you since you were a newborn batting your eyes at me so I would pick you up and carry you through the garden while teaching you the name of every bird that flew overhead."

The princess giggled. Her face illuminated with a childlike light, and Esmera could see exactly what about her must've charmed Tauram and even Namesha and Danshan. "That's a lie!"

"No, only a slight exaggeration." Tauram smirked.

"As if you were any less of a demanding baby." Princess Kerani rolled her eyes.

"Well, you wouldn't know." Tauram grinned, clinching their mock argument with a single point.

Esmera couldn't help but smile. It warmed her heart to see them arguing as siblings did. That would've been impossible to do if they still had the threat of Ruagu looming over them. It told Esmera that she wasn't dreaming or hallucinating or dead. This was real.

Ruagu was gone, and she, Tauram, and Kerani were still here.

Tauram pulled Esmera close to him. She leaned into his steady warmth. She hadnt trusted it at first. She had thought it would be as fleeting as any other comfort she had known in her life, but she now knew that it wasn't. It would always be there, after she made a mistake, after she hurt him to save him, after she had died and returned to life.

He would always be there.

Esmera heard more than saw the smile fade from Tauram's face as it turned solemn. "There is a reason you came to see us, isn't there?"

The humour in Princess Kerani's face also vanished as she bit the corner of her pretty lip. "Anjarah is here to speak with you."

She may as well have said Ghallia was here to make amends. Both of them were equally welcome in Esmera's company.

Some distasteful feeling swelled inside Esmera, sending her into conflict within herself. She knew that Anjarah had helped her and Tauram with their mission, helped them do things they would've never been able to do alone, like claim Jammas and get Hina's wisdom straight from the source. She wanted to understand and forgive her betrayal because it seemed as though she'd had no choice...

But then she thought of Belaren, of him dying in front of her, before he could have the life he wanted with the woman who had practically arranged his death, before he could make amends with his family. He had wanted to go to his niece's birthday party. Now he would never see her again, and she would never get to know the bitter charm of his acetic soul.

Tears welled in her eyes even as her jaw clenched in anger. Even so, she managed to contain her feelings better than Tauram did.

His face hardened, as did his voice. "Well, I do not wish to speak with Anjarah."

"Tauram..." Princess Kerani sighed. "Anjarah wants to apologise and explain herself."

"None of that can undo what she has done." Tauram looked away from his sister, determined to stand by what he said.

Esmera admired that about him, but now she wasn't sure if it was the right or fair or kind thing to do.

Anjarah may be a traitor, but she had just lost the man she loved and stood to lose her friends in the process too.

Princess Kerani wasn't backing down. She opened the door and closed it behind her, straightening where she stood. "At least give her the chance to explain herself! I'm not saying you have to forgive her. At least do the poor woman the courtesy of hearing her out."

"Poor woman?" Tauram narrowed his eyes at his sister. "I suppose she has been burdening you with her sob stories?"

Princess Kerani folded her arms over her chest. "She has no one else, Tauram. It would mean the world to her if she could get all of this off her chest." 

Tauram's jaw tensed as if he was thinking better of indulging Anjarah, but then he said, tightly and not without resentment, "Send her in."

There must be some feeling, some remnant of their friendship that Tauram still contained for him to agree to that, but there was little evidence of it in his tight mouth and cold eyes.

"Thank you." Princess Kerani's shoulders relaxed.

She left the room and returned a moment later, pulling a woman by the arm, a woman who was hunched in her brown garments embroidered with blue and accompanied by two guards like any other traitor would be. Her bun sat askew on her head. She kept her eyes on her trembling fingers that knitted invisible sweaters in front of her.

Esmera still remembered Anjarah with Belaren, smiling and glowing as a woman in love did. She remembered her collapsing beside him in her overpowering grief. But now, she looked at though she had aged years in the hours it must've been since. Worry lines crinkled her forehead. Distress puckered her mouth tightly, in a way that looked permanent.

Despite her anger, Esmera couldn't help but pity her.
Anjarah looked to Princess Kerani, who was still standing beside her, for reassurance. The princess gave a friendly and encouraging nod before stepping outside to give this conversation the privacy it required.

Tauram and Esmera probably didn't look as friendly or encouraging where they huddled together on the bed because when Anjarah looked at them, she faltered in her resolve, visibly, audibly from the sound of her gulp. Still neither of their gazes yielded.

Anjarah tried for a smile, but it came out as unsteady as the rest of her. "May I sit down?" Her eyes fluttered to the purple velvet armchair standing beside the door.

For the first time, Esmera noticed Samier peeping out from behind her drab skirt, his colourful feathers in disarray. Anjarah clasped her hands in front of her as she awaited Tauram's answer.

He huffed out a breath and replied, his voice as tight as his arm was around Esmera, "You may."

Anjarah lowered her curvy frame to the chair. It appeared to be less her lowering herself and more her legs giving in. Samier pecked at her, and she lifted him onto her lap, cradling him with shaking hands. The guards followed her, planting themselves beside her.

Esmera and Tauram's eyes remained on Anjarah as she shifted in her seat, smoothing her crumpled skirt and avoiding their eyes until she was ready to meet them.

"I'm sorry." Anjarah's full lips trembled. "I'm so sorry. And I know sorry doesn't even begin to cover everything that has happened."

"You're right. It doesn't," said Tauram, his voice as harsh as Esmera imagined a Himalayan winter would be.

And Esmera couldn't blame him. This was the death of his friend they were talking about, a death that could've been prevented had Anjarah acted differently.

Anjarah's big eyes filled with tears as she watched the crown prince. "But I don't know what else to say, Tauram."

Esmera had labelled Tauram as the kind of man who wasn't moved by tears. Now, she was seeing how truly and tragically right she had been when he spoke without yielding to the woman, the friend crumbling before him. "There is nothing you can say unless you can go back in time and choose a path that doesn't result in my friend dying in front of me."

Anjarah squeezed her eyes closed. Samier gave a mournful squawk and pecked at her hand affectionately. She hardly noticed, only stared ahead into space with a glassy gaze. "I wish I could," she murmured. "I wish with all my heart that I could've made a choice that saved him." A sob spluttered through Anjarah before she covered her mouth with her hand, blinking quickly as she regained her composure. "But King Ruagu had my son, and I didn't know what to do but give into his demands." She kept her eyes on her lap, possibly knowing without needing to look the hostility that would confront her if she met Tauram's gaze.

"Why didn't you come to us? We could've made a plan together. You didn't have to take on this burden alone. We were a team, Anjarah." Tauram shook his head. His fury faltered, his voice softening, turning him into that kind, gentle soul that Esmera knew better than most other people.

Maybe that was part of his anger and heartbreak, that his friend had felt so alone in her struggle that she'd had to resort to such desperate acts and ally with the man they had banded together to defeat.

"My superiors evaluated my work. They figured out that I adjusted the paperwork to cover our tracks when you came to claim Esmera's familiar." Anjarah dabbed at her swollen eyes. "It wasn't long before King Ruagu was informed about that. All he had to do was look at the records at SUAF to realise that Esmera Finnaaz was the only living sorcerer belonging to a lark familiar. He put everything together and discovered that you must be back in Milatanur too." Her face pinched.

Esmera couldn't imagine how violent the agony of the moment must be, even in memory, how terrified and powerless Anjarah must've felt. Or actually, she could imagine. It must've been similar to how she felt when Stephan stabbed her that night. Like her, Anjarah must've thought everything was over for her. She might've hoped it was rather than face an uncertain future.

Esmera wanted to hug her as she wished someone had hugged her during her struggle, but Tauram held her firmly against her side, telling her wordlessly that he needed her more.

Anjarah drew a shaky breath before choking out her next words. "It wasn't long before the king and his demons figured out I was working with you to overthrow him. They came to my apartment." Her face contorted in unspeakable pain. "They took Kuan and used him to force me to tell them everything about our plan. They didn't return him to me afterwards as they promised they would. They wanted me to continue to inform them or they would kill my baby. I'' —Anjarah's voice broke— "I couldn't let them hurt my son. I did everything they wanted me to do just to protect Kuan, but I never imagined I'd lose Belaren in the process."

Tauram shook his head, following her story and remaining unmoved by it, the direct opposite to Esmera. "You should've come to us. Together, we could've made a plan to outsmart him, to save both Kuan and Belaren."

"I was scared, Tauram!" Anjarah cried. "I was scared of what he would do if he found out that I had asked you for help. I knew King Ruagu was ruthless, and I couldn't count on his mercy."

"Ruagu doesn't show you mercy, even if you cooperate with him." Esmera shook her head, sadness scratching at her eyes. "When my family gave him what he wanted, he still killed all of them."

Anjarah's eyes went wide with horror, but it wasn't long before they filled with tears again.

"Belaren is dead because we were caught. Because you informed Ruagu about when we were planning to attack his palace." Tauram's voice was toneless, empty of emotion.

Esmera wished she could feel that way. It would be better than this deep-seated pain that she didn't think would ever lift.

Anjarah burst into tears. Her sobs tore at Esmera's heartstrings and even Tauram had to look away, aiming his emotionless eyes out of the window.

"Do you think it was any easier for me than for you?" Anjarah spluttered. "Watching him die?" She shook her head, sending the wisps of hair escaping her bun into a flutter. "I have never in my life loved anyone the way I loved Belaren Vinsingh. I pined for him every day since he left, since I had to marry my husband. When he returned to me, I saw it as a second chance to get that happy ending I dreamt of with him." Her face crumpled like a wet tissue. "Now it's gone. It's all gone." She buried her face in her hands, muffling her voice behind them. "He's gone."

Esmera ignored Tauram's unrelenting form beside her and sat up. She stood from the bed and crossed the room on bare, quiet feet to Anjarah. The guards remained steady beside the traitor even as their eyes fixed as Esmera.

"Hey," she murmured, drawing her friend to her. Anjarah came like a child seeking warmth, sniffling and clutching at her robe. "At least you saved Kuan, right?"

"Barely." Anjarah shook her dishevelled head. "They were starving him. He was so thin and weak when I finally found him. The healers are taking care of him now." She pressed her face against Esmera's shoulder with a whimper. "I could've lost them both because I was so stupid and played into King Ruagu's hands." Her sobs escalated into wails.

"Sh, sh." Esmera held her tighter, patting her head. It seemed a silly gesture because nothing could bring Belaren back to life except for a spare heartstone, maybe, but there was no denying its power. Anjarah calmed, taking a slow, shuddering breath.

"I don't think there was much else you could've done," Esmera told Anjarah, giving Tauram a look as he scoffed and then simmered.

What would either of them have done if they had to choose between their young child and their closest friends? Let alone their child and their lover, when they were never even given a fair choice, never even informed about the weight of their terrible choice?

Ruagu had simply killed Belaren in front of them without warning. Maybe Anjarah would've chosen differently if she had been explicitly given the choice between Kuan and Belaren. Maybe then Esmera and Tauram could blame her for what she had done.

She rubbed at her eyes that were reddened and angry with grief before raising them to Esmera, then Tauram. "I would ask for your forgiveness, but I'm not sure I'll ever earn mine." Her voice cracked.

At that, Tauram sighed and stood from the bed. Esmera sensed him cross the room even though he was behind her. She almost worried that he would ask the guards to escort Anjarah and her sob story out, but he only joined in on the hug, holding her and Anjarah close.

They both sank into his embrace, like they were the wilting petals of a flower and he was the stalk that held them upright.

Tauram was right. They were a team.

But now he and Esmera had each other while Anjarah had no one, and it felt like the right thing to be there for her, now more than ever.
They hadn't been there for her the first time her life had fallen apart, but they were here now, and it had to be for a reason. They had to do right by their friend this time.

Esmera hugged Anjarah tighter. "Forgiveness is complicated, even for me and Tauram, but we can promise that we'll be here for you whatever happens."

"Thank you." A fresh tear appeared at the corner of her eye, but she blinked it away. "I know I've been a lousy friend, but I really need friends right now. I have no one else." Her words caught in her throat. Esmera stroked her back, easing them out of her.

"I don't know how I'm going to live with myself. Let alone how I can live at all."

"You must live for him even though it has to be without him." The words pained Esmera even though she believed them with all her heart.

Belaren wouldn't want Anjarah to live guilty and unhappy for the rest of her life because she had lost him. He loved her so much that he would want her to forgive herself. Maybe it would take time, but for his sake, Esmera wished for that for Anjarah.

A fresh onslaught of sobs unleashed themselves. Esmera and Tauram held Anjarah as she cried, all the while losing track of time, until her teary eyes drooped with fatigue and Tauram requested that the guards escort her to one of the guest rooms to get some rest.