Emotions are one of the strangest things in all of us, aren't they? They can make us feel mad, sad, happy, scared, love, and all sorts of others that there probably aren't even words to describe them with. Some people fear them so much that they try to distance themselves from them and others welcome them with open arms and embrace them for a lifetime. However, we all know that emotions do play a key role in our life because they can sometimes dictate our actions when our minds truly don't want it. An example if you still don't know what I'm talking about: you know, your special someone wanting something so badly you end up doing things for them even if they're kinda bizarre?

As much as we try to believe, I'm sure we've all ran into situations that cause us to move and do things that we wouldn't do normally. Emotions may be a part of the equation, other factors being friendship, trust, and many more. We've all had moments that cause us to react before we think, and those can be driven by emotions. They're hard to control, aren't they?

If only we could find a way to keep our emotions in control, even if you can normally keep yourself calm and collective.

X X X

"Come on, let's go!" Not even before the sun broke the horizon, Mothpaw felt rough paws shake her awake, chasing away any fragments of her short-lasting dream. The apprentice den and her brother both slammed onto her back with the force of a mountain, breaking away the quiet sleep. A small ticking noise echoed in her head and finally, a loud bang that shook her entire body, waking her up to the splashing sunlight. Beechpaw and his brown pelt shone brightly, a bundle of energy waiting to explode.

She groaned and dropped her head back into the now uncomfortable nest, hoping she could slip back into a useless slumber. However, her brother had other plans for her and prodded her up, nearly squashing Runningpaw as he slept.

"I feel like you say 'come on' far too much now," she mumbled, leaning on him to stand up. Shaking away the stiffness and grogginess lingering in her eyes and legs, Mothpaw let out a yawn, tasting the morning sun and song. Then she quickly retreated back into a ball, body letting out a yelp at the sudden movement. Beechpaw titled his head in confusion and looked at the exit while as shivered, collecting herself together.

"Are you cold or something?"

"Leafbare's getting closer, Beechpaw," she replied, curling her tail around her legs. "I'm not used to waking up and have some kind of cold wind brush against my pelt." Mothpaw closed her eyes and tried to imagine a warm sun that would shed its rays on her back each morning, giving her something to look forward to. Along with the little bird's song, that was definitely a reason to get up and get moving.

Now, that warm sun had lost a majority of its warmth that it normally shared. The song that traveled across and spread throughout the fields and meadow was replaced by a cold wind that told the tale of an upcoming leafbare. Mothpaw flattened her ears and squeezed her eyes shut, covering her face with her tiny paws to block out her brother.

He didn't take that gesture lightly and grabbed her by the scruff, yanking her out of her nest. She was about to protest when they both fell over, her brother still not being tall enough to carry her and walk around at the same time. They barely avoided crashing into a sleeping Runningpaw, and narrowly dodged Breezepaw and Whitepaw, who cuddled together like tiny kits. At the last moment, Mothpaw planted her feet to the ground, locking her claws around the strands of an empty nest, stopping her fall.

Beechpaw, who was over her, fell down and rolled away, actions slowing to a halt before he bumped into another nest that housed another apprentice. Mothpaw held her breath, eyes twitching back and forth for the other apprentices to stir at the commotion. The only movement was Honeypaw twisted in her sleep and Runningpaw extended his tail out and let out a soft moan, talking to himself. She relaxed and released her claws, shoulders sagging to the ground. A breath came out and she looked over at her brother and her body froze at the piercing gaze of two, green eyes.

Laying at her best friend's paws, Beechpaw didn't say a thing as he stared at Olivepaw, who didn't pay attention to him, her focus directed on Mothpaw. The black she-cat sat in a straight posture, paws tucked underneath her while her shoulders stayed upright. Tail whisked around her backlegs, there was a strange sense of suspense filling the den like a thick fog. Her body hardly moved, eyes staying where they were rooted as if weariness had overcome her. When she did blink, it was as if they were underwater, each eyelid falling down and coming back up made it look like a battle.

Mothpaw shuddered, questioning how something as easy as blinking could take up too much energy and effort. Then Olivepaw dragged her gaze to her paws and spotted Beechpaw, who dropped his ears at eye contact. She squinted her eyes, as if trying to remember who he was and he fumbled with his lips for words. Eventually, he sprang up, but she hadn't flinched or jolted away. Standing just inches apart, the two cats stared at one another, each one wanting something else from the other.

"Can you remember me?"

"Beechpaw." Mothpaw stepped up, breaking up any kind of conversation he tried to engage in. Olivepaw didn't turn her head and kept that lonely look planted on her face. "We'll try again when it's later, now's not the time," she urged, hoping he'd give in.

If he was mad at her, he didn't show it. All that he did was exit the apprentice den without another word, leaving Olivepaw to ponder what was going on. Mothpaw dipped her head to her stone friend and followed him without another word, feeling that cold gaze follow her all the way until she slipped out of her sights. Free and away, she took a moment to exhale her breath, unable to think properly.

Not even Hailbreeze could wake her up from whatever she's going through, she thought, remembering last night when the mother did her best to comfort her daughter. Dapplefur had checked the she-cat out and claimed that all she needed was a good night's rest. Mothpaw did her best not to worry about it, after all, it came from the medicine cat that supposedly knew how to cure all.

And she failed to hide the fact she had kits, she reminded herself, bounding after Beechpaw's steps into the medicine cat den.

Almost immediately, Dapplefur noticed their entrance and let out a sigh, resting on a small nest in the corner. A neat pile of herbs was set aside with a bile of shriveled berries, probably old herbs that needed thrown out. The den smelled of field flowers and creek water, which gave her a reassuring feeling. Mothpaw and Beechpaw stuck together, shoving themselves into the far corner where they both could get comfortable. In front of them, the calico cat shook her head, swallowing down another herb that the silver apprentice didn't know.

The medicine cat seemed to be contemplating something, something in her eyes told Mothpaw that she was searching for the words or a key idea. Eyes of an old she-cat wandering in another world, aimlessly wandering without any kind of company at her side this time. Beechpaw and her were patient, figuring that pushing her to spill out every single detail and information she had would cause her to build some kind of wall to block them out. But as the silence dragged on and no matter how hard the two apprentices tried to occupy themselves to keep them busy as they waited, they always looked back at her, hoping something would change.

She looked just as worn-out as Ashstar, bones starting to replace the flesh. The youthful look she had a few moons ago had left her, Stonepaw's death and her kit's return weighing her down, pushing her further into the ground no matter how hard she tried to stand. Dapplefur hardly looked like she even had the strength to wake up each morning, let alone serve other cats in need of her.

After a long silence, Dapplefur was the first to speak.

"Why exactly do you want to know about me? I'm only the old medicine cat that nobody comes and checks on these days," she murmured. "Not even Breezepaw or Whitepaw would visit me unless they were injured and needed something."

"That's what I want to know," Beechpaw pushed. "Out of all the cats in this Clan, you're the one cat who I thought wouldn't disobey StarClan. Maybe Stonepaw, too." Hearing the apprentice's name caused Mothpaw to bite her tongue, keeping quiet as the gray tom sprang into her mind, bringing down Shatteredstar with his life. Dapplefur didn't notice her and her eyes flashed with worry at her apprentice's name.

"That makes two," she answered. "If you think I'm the one cat who wouldn't disobey StarClan, then you're sourly wrong." Dapplefur uncurled her tail and rested her head on her paws. "You two will be here for quite some time if you really want to know everything I know."

"We're okay with that," Mothpaw spoke up for her brother this time. "I know that Sparrowblaze and Speckleflash are going to be a little bit more busier because of Honeypaw and Scarpaw's arrival."

That silenced the old cat for a little bit.

Then Dapplefur wrinkled her nose. "Then... You tell me what exactly you're looking for. Whatever you ask, it shouldn't be a surprise to anycat in this Clan anymore. Without StarClan, we've all had this inner rogue in us that tells us to serve ourselves first before others, destroying the entire purpose of a Clan."

"I'd like to know about your kits and why, even though I want to take a guess," Beechpaw proposed. He waited for her to grant him permission and when Dapplefur gave him a solemn nod, his eyes lit up. "It's because the Clan needs as many kits as they can get to survive anymore. What I don't know is why you didn't refuse to have kits."

"What do you think? It shouldn't be that hard," she groaned, flicking her ear. "I know StarClan has supposedly been there to punish cats that haven't followed their rules and laws. I was more than ready to break a few rules if it meant I could get their attention. Bearing kits was only the first part of this plan, and leaving them at the Moon Tree, hoping that they'd see that a medicine cat abandoned kits was the final step. That plan didn't work and only tells cats that StarClan doesn't exist."

That sounds like Stonepaw, Mothpaw thought, wanting to tell Dapplefur. When she was about to speak, the look in the medicine cat's eyes told her she already knew her apprentice's ambitions and beliefs. She shut her mouth without another doubt, letting Beechpaw take over for her.

"Then who is the father?" her brother questioned.

"That's one of the easiest answers," Dapplefur said with a purr, relieved. "None other than Ashstar himself."