This may not apply to everyone, but when I dig around in someone's history or what happened in the past, I get this strange feeling like I'm walking on a tightrope. On one side, it's more questions and mysteries that need to be solved. The other, a dark void that I can't understand quite yet, and I risk getting lost. When digging around unknown facts or decoding someone's past is always fun, and I always get fidgety - when it's the last resort.

I bet we all know a time when we or someone else gets hyper and excited when they learn about a hidden secret or something about someone else. They start to lean forward and ask for more, trying their best to keep their childish nature under control. I know we've all had or experienced something like that, we want to learn more and then move forward, finding more answers to our one "goal". 

My question: is it a good or bad thing that we tend to want to understand or figure out someone's secrets that they keep hidden?

X X X

"Tigerfrost!" Beechpaw roared, dashing into the camp, blowing by his mentor, Speckleflash. Mothpaw raced behind her excited brother while the three kits followed them, each pushing themselves to beat the other two. The orange queen looked up from her spot outside the nursery with a confused expression, and then it morphed into anger at the sight of her troublesome kits. The two apprentices raced ahead and stopped at her paws, leaving the three kits behind them unaware of the sudden obstacle. One after the other, the silver apprentice felt small pelts ram into her back legs. At once, the striped she-cat got up and snatched all of them to her side.

"Can I help you?" she asked, curling her tail around her kits. Leopardkit snuggled closer to her mother's pelt, sucking up any attention she could grab. Her brothers tried to wiggle free, with each escape attempt failing and were roped back. Tigerfrost glanced at the kits and turned back to them. "I'm sorry if they caused you any trouble."

"No, that's not it!" Mothpaw reassured. "They were actually really good for us!" Tigerfrost raised an eyebrow at her but dropped her doubt when Icekit batted her pelt with his paw, begging her to lift him up and give him a ride. The she-cat sighed, licking the tom's head and pushing him off to join his brother and sister.

"We need to talk with you," Beechpaw whispered, causing her to narrow her sharp, green eyes. The three kits noticed the secretive move and inched closer, eyes wide and ears open. Tigerfrost glanced around the camp, spotted her mate, and nudged her kits in his direction.

"Go to your father, I'm sure he'll like the company," she urged. Firekit didn't look impressed, the idea of hearing a secret making him stay where he was. "If you go to your father, I'm sure he'd show you some battle moves." She tossed her head to the side, eyes gleaming. The kits sprang from where they were, tumbling out of her grip. "I remember him telling me one night that he thought you were ready to see a few of his battle moves..."

With that, the three kits were persuaded and jumped over her tail, making a beeline toward their father. Shouts and protests rang from their excitement, drawing attention. When Lionfur heard the sound of his kits, he turned his head toward the sound, ears dropping when he noticed all of them charging toward him like a hoard of angry bees. Rabbitbranch, who was beside the golden tom pricked his ears up at the sound of the squabbling kits. With one quick movement, he jumped out of the way. Leopardkit smashed her head into her father's paws. The older tom struggled not to squish his daughter as he fell, catching himself with one paw as his sons tackled his back legs.

Unable to get up without hurting one of them, he was subjected to their begs and pleas. His eyes flashed with worry, locking them with those of Tigerfrost, who waved at him with her tail. The look he gave his mate was a combination of daze and stun, and he couldn't do anything as Firekit jumped in his face, catching his attention. Mothpaw heard Beechpaw giggle under his breath. 

"Teach me first!"

"No, me!"

"I got here first! I should learn first!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"What is going on?!" Lionfur demanded, shoving an excited Firekit to the ground. Icekit replaced his brother, tugging on his ear. Once he shooed the golden kit away, Leopardkit came up, clinging onto his front leg, begging him from below. Tigerfrost let out a purr of amusement, leaving her mate to deal with the trio. The golden tom glared at her before giving in, wrestling all three of his kits to the ground. Mothpaw noticed her brother tense up at the sight of a father loving his kits. She touched his shoulder with her tail, startling him out of the trance.

"Can I help you?" Tigerfrost asked, stretching her legs out. "Now with the kits gone, you should be able to ask me without someone constantly getting in your space."

"Ah..." Beechpaw shook his head. "Yes! We do! While we were out playing, Icekit told us a small story about your friend, Amberfeather."

Tigerfrost's eyes widened at the name. She didn't say anything, but Mothpaw could see her mind racing back to her past and the unknown she-cat. To prove the point, she caught the queen staring at Ashstar's den for a fleeting moment. What she found interesting was her lips moved the slightest, whispering one word that went unheard. A small smile crept on her face, seemingly pleased at the thought of her friend or whatever was going in her mind. Then it was gone, and the orange tabby focused her eyes on them. Beechpaw gulped, shifting in his paws.

This has to mean something. At least Icekit wasn't lying when it came to Amberfeather being Ashstar's sister, she thought. She whisked her tail around her paws, settling beside the older she-cat like. Beechpaw didn't make a move, he planted his feet into the ground, refusing to lay down. Mothpaw glanced at her side and then noticed, inching away from Tigerfrost.

"If you're worried about my kits noticing this," the queen murmured. "Just know, I think you two need a mother's support." Mothpaw shook her head, getting up to apologize.

"What'd you do that for?" hissed Beechpaw.

"I didn't notice it until I sat down! I'm sure Echoflight wouldn't be mad at us if we gathered around Tigerfrost like how we always did with her," she argued. She understood her brother's side, barely anycat in the Clan remembered who their mother was. The silver warrior had lived a common life and did nothing that left an impact. Hailbreeze would mourn over her friend's death time to time, but the days when she didn't, it felt like Beechpaw and Mothpaw were the only ones who kept their mother's memory alive.

Tigerfrost sighed. "What about Amberfeather? Don't you already know this? She was Ashstar's younger sister and my best friend."

"Icekit told us she was his other sister," Mothpaw said. The expression on Tigerfrost's face didn't change. "Which meant that he had two sisters. He also said that you know she's alive, but don't know if she's sick or well. Is she a rogue?"

"Kits these days," she replied. "Did he tell you about that? I'm sorry, I think he might've meant Echoflight's sister, Pebbleflight." Mothpaw groaned inside her head. Dragging their focus onto their family would make things more complicated. Beechpaw said the same thing, but both apprentices kept quiet as Tigerfrost continued her speech. Hearing the name of her mother's sister did make her think of Deerleaf, and she wondered how the tiny warrior felt living her life without knowing her mother.

No, how does she feel living her life without her kits?

"Those two sisters annoyed me every second of the day when we were younger. Always spreading rumors and getting into trouble. I didn't know Pebbleflight very well, but Echoflight and I started to get along once we became warriors. I'd talk with her sister, but we never interacted after that. Then she became mates with Ashstar. Daystar mysteriously left, placing the leadership into his paws. That's when they finally had Deerleaf, and then her mother caught an indescribable sickness that still troubles us today."

"Sickness? Pebbleflight? Mother told us that her sister died in a rogue attack," Beechpaw claimed. Tigerfrost rolled her eyes at the remark.

"She really did love you, but hiding the fact with that excuse is just plain mouse-brained." Tigerfrost pointed to the medicine cat den just as Dapplefur poked her head out with a patch of herbs in her jaws. "Pebbleflight came down with this strange symptom that seemed to drain her energy. She could eat prey all day long and still complain that she didn't get enough. Marking borders was impossible, let alone standing up. We first thought that the sickness would spread and infect all of us, but it only stayed in her. Deerleaf was forced away from her mother at five moons old. Finally, she passed away overnight, and the disease seemed to die with her."

"And the disease never spread?" Mothpaw asked worriedly. When Tigerfrost shook her head, she said, "Is there a name for that sickness or disease? Is it ever going to come back?"

"There isn't a name for it," she responded. "If that disease does come back, my first guess it would strike Deerleaf since she was the last cat around Pebbleflight at the time." Mothpaw followed her gaze toward the brown warrior, and Dapplefur came closer, dropping the pile of leaves next to her. The two smiled warmly at one another before they parted ways. The warrior ate the leaves, turned around, and bounced off to bother Swiftbranch.

"What about Amberfeather?" Beechpaw insisted. "We came here to learn about her. Is it true that she tried to spy on Daystar or did Icekit mix up his stories like Ashstar having two sisters?"

"How did he come up with missing sister from Pebbleflight?" Mothpaw questioned, frowning. "Unless he mistook his mother's little knowledge of her as missing." 

"I... He's still a kit, nobody knows what goes on inside their head," she purred, glancing at the bunch warmly. "It is true that Amberfeather wanted to spy on Daystar, but she was always suspicious of everycat when she first met them. I thought she'd stop, but it seems she wasn't too fond of our leader at the time."

"What was it like?" Beechpaw questioned, tilting his head. "You make it sound like there wasn't a missing cat problem when Daystar ruled."

"There was," Tigerfrost replied. "There has always been a missing cat problem ever I became an apprentice." She pointed to a section of camp with her tail. "At the beginning of this problem, we needed a way to keep track of who went missing. So, the leader before Daystar, Featherstar, decided to make something to remember them. Each rock in that circle represents a cat." Her eyes flashed with sorrow, the hidden memories tucked inside of the she-cat resurfacing. Mothpaw lowered her head, understanding that most of the cats that had gone missing were dead, and if the queen shared any connection with any of them, her friends had been forgotten. 

"Is it still there?" she asked, poking her head toward the pile. "I've seen cats around that area, but I don't know if it's been destroyed."

"I'm not too sure," she answered. "I'd rather not go there, I know each stone and which cat they represented. Some I knew, loved, and hated, but even so, knowing that their life was simply forgotten by others and their spirit is here; I can't face them without being able to tell them their lives weren't forgotten." 

"Last thing," Beechpaw begged. Tigerfrost gave him a quick nod, and he asked, "Did Amberfeather ever tell you why she spied on Daystar?"

Silence from the queen. Her green eyes drifted over to her kits and stared at them with wide eyes as if they were going to disappear under her nose. Silently, the she-cat lifted her head to gaze at the highrock where Ashstar was located. He didn't notice her, and she looked at her own paws. Mothpaw stayed still, afraid that a single hair out of place would cause the orange tabby to snap. Beechpaw's legs began to quiver, eagerness building up inside him as he waited. Apprehensiveness flooded both of them, straining their ears to hear three words that shot their hopes down like a falling bird.

"No, she didn't."