When we reach my house, a news van is already parked on the lawn. Word must have traveled fast if reporters are already here, poking around for quotes about the attempted school shooting.

My mother doesn't let us say a word as she rushes us inside. She tells me my father is on his way home and pulls me into another long, rib-crushing hug.

At first, she doesn't want me out of her sight, but I tell her I just need a moment to decompress. She hesitates, then reluctantly allows Liam to follow me upstairs.

As soon as we reach the safety of my room, I know I need to get out of my soaked clothes and the blood-stained shoes stuck to my feet.

The shell of my uniform is clinging to me since it's still half wet and Liam helps tug it off me. There's nothing sexual about it, he's just assisting as I change. I'm clearly comfortable with him in a new way and I wonder if it's because we slept next to each other last night and clung to each other today. 

I'm changing in my closet when I spot the red shirt I stole from Derek lying next to my hamper. I want to light it on fire. This entire mess is his fault. I am associated with those football players because of him. I've been so stupid. I am also dying to know what his take on all this is. He cannot believe he is innocent of any of it. 

I come out of my closet and find Liam texting someone while sitting on the edge of my bed. He glances at me, "My mom knows I was involved with what's all over the news. I told her I am here with you."

"Please tell me you don't have to go," I beg. 

"No, I'm not leaving," he tells me before pulling on my hand to have me sit. I settle in next to him and then we both plop back on the bed, exhausted. 

"Where were you this morning?" I ask. This is the first of many questions I have for him. I adjust my head on my pillows so I can look at him as he answers. 

"I followed Ian to school, as planned, but I got confused when he was running late. He didn't even leave his house until the first bell was about to ring," he explains, holding my hand tightly. "He met Elijah outside the main doors, and they split up in front of the math hall. That's when I started to understand everyone's connections. Elijah was practically radiating hatred, he was using it as fuel all the way down the hallway. I never saw Marissa. Ian headed into the math hall alone, and I could hear him trying to calm himself the entire way to Mrs. Holloway's class. I saw Mike and Aaron in the last row. Ian walked straight into the classroom, put the gun right up to Aaron's back, and told him and Mike to get up and follow him. Everyone else dove under their desks once they realized Ian had a gun, but Ian had them both out of the classroom before Mrs. Holloway could even reach the door."

"So what you told Kensington was almost true. You were just invisible and not hiding somewhere," I say and he nods. I add, "But the hallways were empty by the time Marissa got me and Derek."

"Ian fired two shots into the common area and everyone scattered. I saw Elijah up ahead with Lily leading her into the locker room. I waited until you got there and quietly snuck out. I had to make sure I didn't get locked out since the door was locked from the inside. I didn't want to leave you, but I knew I needed to relay all the information I had to Mr Anderson."

"That must have been when we heard the noise at the door," I say as Liam runs his hand through my hair. I am lying on his shoulder with his arm around me and his head leans against the top of mine. I think we have had some part of us touching since I collapsed into him in the locker room.

"Yeah, well, obviously the police had been called by then and I went and found Mr. Anderson who was instructing the onsite officer what to do. I let them both know who was all in the locker room, but they didn't want to act until reinforcements got there in case they spooked Ian and he killed all of you or himself. There are no windows in the locker room, so they weren't sure how to communicate." Liam says plainly and chills run down my spine just thinking of the multiple outcomes.

"After that, you know what happened. I snuck back into the locker room and witnessed the rest," he says with a shrug.

"I still don't know why Ian thought it was me and not Harper who was there that night. I'm somewhat glad that I was wrongly accused because I don't think any of them would be alive right now if I weren't," I say as I sit up to look at Liam. "But I swear, Liam. I wasn't there. I've done some shit things but I had no part of that." 

I think back to two years ago and remember the fight I had with my mom about missing the party to attend yet another one of her charity events. Back then, I was furious. Now, I'm thankful she made me go.

"That night obviously ruined Ian's life. Bad enough to want to do something like this," he says as we both nod. "The others were just done with being bullied. They all had just... snapped."

"It's unfortunate that they were going to get their revenge by killing people. There are so many other ways to get a point across, but taking someone's life away..." I tell Liam, while not being able to fathom that kind of hatred.

"I think they saw it like the football players took a piece of Ian's life away. They outed him, bullied him...I'm not saying what Ian did was right, he obviously has some screws loose but I also can't imagine going through that kind of humiliation." I lay back down on his shoulder and as he runs his fingers through my hair, he says, "It's weird to see how awful Mike and Aaron can be, but then they seem so chill and laid back when we all hang out. I don't get how these easy-going guys can ruin people's lives. Derek is a little more obvious in his jackass ways but I don't even understand why he does it?"

"Because for some reason, we feel like we have to tear others down to feel better about ourselves. We can't just be happy with who we are," I tell him, feeling guilty. He glances at me and pushes himself up so he's resting on his elbow. He sighs before saying, "I think this needs to be a wake-up call with Harper too, Ellie. I get she's your best friend, but you let her say a lot of hateful things."

I pop myself up onto my elbow with my jaw slightly dropped, "I can't control Harper, Liam. She does whatever she wants."

"She does what she thinks is cool. There is only one person she thinks may be cooler than her at school and it's you. No one else can get through to her like you can. Start speaking up when she says mean shit and I bet you she'll cut it out."

I shake my head, "Or put a target on my back."

"You're friends with her because you fear her. She's not a good friend, she's constantly thinking bad things about you and competing with you. I don't get why she's your friend other than the whole keep your enemies close idea," he says, puzzled that Harper and I could possibly call ourselves friends.

"When she's not being horrible, she is really fun, and she is loyal. She always has my back, no matter what."

"She hit you in the face because you dated the boy she liked," he says, completely exasperated.

"If you date the boy your friend likes, it's breaking girl code. Maybe I deserved to get hit in the face?" I reply with a snap. He shakes his head, knowing he'll never understand girls or their friendships.

"Fine, be friends with Harper, but try and make her a better person. Don't be friends with assholes, you'll only turn into one," Liam says flatly. 

"I'm a little annoyed because I worry she's going to somehow be miffed she wasn't involved in all this. The biggest story of the year happened to all of her friends," I admit and saying it out loud confirms everything Liam just said about Harper. 

"Maybe that's her Karma?" Liam teases. He flops back onto his back and then mutters, "I bet this will put an end to all of the stupid tory and dirt bullshit though." I nod to him and we both sit in silence while we process everything. 

"I knew it was a thing long before I started high school. We all just kind of kept the tradition going without ever really thinking about how stupid it was. For some reason, being popular and fitting in with the right crowd was all that mattered to me. Even after I heard about the so-called prank the football players pulled, I never stopped to think about what it actually led to. There were rumors that a kid got kicked off the team, but it wasn't really on my radar. I almost died over something I was completely oblivious to. And you figured it out after a week of being here."

Liam shakes his head. "Ellie, I've been to a lot of schools. Highland Park is unique. It's like a private school in terms of curriculum, rich parents, and college acceptance stats, but it's still just like every other public school I've attended in how badly everyone wants to be accepted. I've never given a shit, because I never stayed long enough to fit in. But trying to fit in with your group? That was... exhausting. Honestly, I really liked getting to know Ben and Nate from trig. They asked me to join the robotics team, and I was excited about it—until I started wondering what you might think."

"Oh God," I mumble, burying my face into my pillow. "I don't want to be like that."
He tries to gently pry my face away from the pillow.

"Let's start fresh, okay?" He pushes my hair from my face and I peek an eye up at him. 

"You still like me, after all of this?" I ask with a sigh. 

"You're so much more than all of this, Ellie. I told you, I see you. You do try to be a good person," Liam confesses, and I finally look at him. 

"I need to do better," I admit, and he leans over to kiss me.