Ethan

He sat in a chair outside Ms. Beylett's office. Drawings littered her personal holoboard outside. Alone in a line of stiff chairs. He stared at the other wall while his classmates in the other corridor laughed and went about the rest of their school day. He leaned onto the side of the chair, to try and overhear the conversation within between Mother and Ms. Beylett, and Chalen.

"Is the other boy alright?" Mother whispered, full of concern.

"For the most part. Bruised and battered... but let's discuss your son first, Mrs Rilannan," Ms. Beylett said, her tone not at all the same gentle patience he was used to. Seriousness filled it as he heard papers shuffle. "Has he lashed out like this at home before? I know he has a younger brother, has he ever lashed out with the intent to harm?"

Ethan pressed his ear against the frame to listen closer.

Mother's hesitation screamed in his ear. "Ethan's always been a quiet boy, I don't know what's gotten into him recently."

Ms Beylett sighed. "I've been observing him since he came into my homeroom class after some other teacher's reporting some discontentment from him, but he may be too smart for his own good. He is far ahead of most of his classmates, and I suspect he's bored in most of my classes. I will do what I can to remedy this for him when the suspension from in class activities is up and work with him personally... there's also some distressing behavior he's been showing."

"And what's that?" Chalen questioned.

"I may be wrong, but I believe he stole something from Jestirian about a quad or so ago."

Ethan frowned. Does she remember that? She saw me?

"I also caught him rifling through my desk a couple days ago," Ms Beylett continued. "When I asked him what he needed, he avoided my question and walked away before I could discuss it with him. And then this incident with the other boy is what prompts me to ask if he's shown any of this behavior at home."

"Not recently, no," Mother replied.

"But he has before?"

"Yes."

It fell silent in the office. "I see," Ms Beylett said. "Ms Rilannan, I will not presume to wonder about what is going on in that boy's life. I am concerned about his well being and his education, as well as the well being and safety of my students. Though I don't believe that Ethan will do this again, if it is a recurring problem, then that's something else."

"Does he not get along with his classmates?" Mother asked.

He spotted Urtovan heading past the lonely corridor, bag slumped over his shoulders.

"He sticks mostly to himself. Urtovan and Jestirian follow him around quite a bit." Ms Beylett huffed. "I did question the other boy when he was settled down if there was anything he could've said to Ethan that might've set him off, but he didn't recall. I had asked Ethan the same question."

I don't remember either. Ethan clenched his fists, and the white hot rage returned. He made me mad... so I hit him. At least, that's what he told Ms Beylett.

"The boy's parents won't press anything," Ms Beylett said. "Whether they believe it was a child squabble gone wrong or something else. I advocated that Ethan's never shown any inclination towards bullying his classmates otherwise, but when he comes back I'll continue monitoring him."

He swore he heard Mother sigh in relief. "I'll talk to him. Thank you, Ms Beylett."

"Don't thank me," Ms Beylett said. "Thank you for coming on such short notice, Ms Rilannan."

Ethan twisted around when Jesti rounded the corner. He stopped in the middle, then headed towards him. "Ethan!" He waved his hands, blissfully unaware of his loss.

"What do you want, Jesti?" Ethan folded his arms. "Isn't your dad going to be wondering where you are? Why are you over here?"

"Are they still talking in there?" he asked back.

Ethan scowled and leaned deeper into the chair. "Yes."

"Are you in trouble again?"

Ethan bit on his tongue and refused to look at Jesti, until Jesti shuffled with his coat pockets. Attention caught he scoffed when Jesti pulled out one of his broken crayons to draw on the holoboard. "I just wanted to say hi," Jesti said as he put the crayon away.

"Did you get a new toy?" Ethan questioned as Jesti walked away.

"No."

Ethan rolled his eyes as Jesti rounded the corner with another wave and bright smile. He glared at the wall as footsteps sounded outside the door. Chalen left first, giving him a curious side-eye. Mother left second, and refused to look at him like she couldn't look at the suited people. Ms Beylett, last, clung onto the doorframe and sent the same gentle smile his way.

"Remember what we talked about, Ethanius," she said. "Go take some time to cool off and process your emotions, alright?"

Ethan slid off the chair and found no words to say to his homeroom teacher. He fell into Mother and Chalen's shadows as they guided him out of the school. He glanced between the two of them. Father has one or two people by him at all times... He kept a close grip on his things as they headed for Chalen's car.

It was a silent ride, when Chalen's rides usually filled the space between.

It took too long to get home. He shifted in his seat, trying to lock with Mother's eyes through the front window, but all he met was Chalen's concerned brown ones. He rolled up into their garage, where Father's car remained absent. Another meeting somewhere else. Full of suits. Ethan scrunched the bottom of his shirt and followed them back into the house.

Jozten looked up from the couch, not with Father. "Mrs Malakai," he said Mother's other name.

"Jozten," she mumbled. "How is my son?"

Jozten nodded and pointed upstairs. "He's in his room."

Mother sighed, then turned to Chalen. "Go check on him for me."

"Will do." Chalen headed up the stairs, while Jozten got up and shifted with his own suit, leaving the house through the back way with their return.

Mother turned to him. "Ethanius."

"He made me angry," he mumbled.

"It doesn't make it right," she said, and he frowned when she brought her hand up to her nose. Her green gaze considered him with no small amount of sadness. "What did you do to that poor boy? Why did he make you angry?"

Ethan clenched his fists, unable to find the answer he couldn't give to his teacher or her.

Mother stared down at him, and the sadness shifted into despair as she released a soft breath. "Go to your room for a while," she said, soft but firm. "We'll need to have a talk later. I need to check on Keren."

Always checking on Keren. Always giving Keren everything. Always letting him fail. Ethan frowned when she raced up the stairs. He stood there in the silent living room, as silent as the car ride. As silent as Father's office. Lips pursed, he followed her steps, past Keren's bedroom where Keren greeted both Chalen and Mother both. Closer to Father's door before twisting around into his room.

He waited for footsteps, and he glanced up at their rhythmic sound after a couple minutes passed. It never went towards his door in the corner of the second floor. He peeked out to see Chalen and Mother entering her room, with Mother blocking her face with her hands.

Isn't it later?

Ethan glanced at Keren's door, shut away.

Father's door, closed tight.

Ethan snuck out of his room and stuck to the same shadows he used to get Father's deck of cards. Hand on the wall, he stopped by Mother's door. He raised his hand to it, but stopped at a sob.

"Lucia, he's a kid. Kids get rough sometimes," Chalen pointed out. "Trust me, you should've seen me when I was younger. It's like his teacher pointed out, Ethan isn't usually like this."

"It's not the same, Chalen. You're not the same." Mother sobbed, and Ethan dropped his hand to his side. He craned closer at their whispered words, trying to pick up everyone. "—Stars, he's going to turn into Anthon at this rate. It's like I can't look at my own son without seeing him."

Father? Is that a bad thing?

Chalen made a strange noise. "Lucia... you don't have to live like this. I'm sure there's a way—"

"I do," she rasped and spiraled into tears. "There's no escape from him, Chalen. You know that."

Ethan came closer but jolted when Mother rasped, "I don't want him to become a monster—" She continued to cry. " —but stars, Chalen,  you know what Anthon was like when he was younger, what you tried to warn me about but I couldn't see. It's all he's surrounded by and it's all he's picking up and I don't want it to be too late, to fail—"

He choked on foul-tasting air, but kept in his spot as more words fell off her tongue, too laced between her sobs. "Chalen, I should not have brought them into this world."

Ethan crept away from the door as Chalen sighed and said something. He jumped at a small voice behind him.

"Play with me, Ethis?" Keren asked. Pressure locked his arms in place as he turned to his little brother. Wide green eyes stared back at him as he held out his toy. "Play with me?"

Ethan ignored him and shambled back to his room. Keren followed. Dogged behind. In his shadow.

'Monster. I should have never brought him into this world.'

Ethan clenched his fists as Keren followed him through the entire corridor, into his corner room by Father's office.

"Play with me," Keren said, insistent.

"Leave me alone, Keren!" he snapped, and Keren came to a sudden stop. "I don't want to play. Go bother Mother." He brought his hands up to his temples as he stomped into the safety of his room, slamming the door behind him.

It trembled the room with none of Father's power. He raked his fingers through his ear, unable to get away from Mother's cries. White-hot hands clutched onto his chest and made it hard to breathe. All with the same sensations when he threw the first punch. And then another. Over and over.

Until Jesti tore him off the other boy with an alarmed squeak and Ms Beylett smothered the rage in the air. He released a painful, hot huff as he paced circles in his room, trying to make sense of the puzzle in front of him. Trying to make sense of all the words. All the faces of thinly veiled disappointment. World blurred, he overturned his old toybox, where everything given to him, and things he made himself with other toys scrambled out onto the floor.

He knelt down and picked them up. One by one. He tore apart clips. Slowly shattered wings. Cracked into their cores to leave them at his feet. Every one snapped in his hands when he put the pressure growing in his throat and placed them within toys he no longer played with. He tossed some at his bed, listening to further cracks. He dug his fingers into one of his own creations before tossing it at the wall to join the rest.

Until all that was left was his toy's broken pieces and he stepped in the mess, where some parts cracked underneath his heel.

Everything was blurry, and the pain in his throat was too much.

He glanced up when his door creaked open, ready for Mother.

Keren stood there, still holding a toy that wasn't his own.

"What part did you not understand," Ethan snapped as Keren walked in, ignoring him. "I said leave me alone, Keren. I don't want to play right now." His next breath trembled on his tongue, and he almost bit down on it to stop its escape, where shadows grew outside the corridor. "I don't want to play, get it through your head!" He slumped against his bed, drawing his hands up to his flaming temples as the world cracked.

Keren shuffled through the broken toys. "I want to play..."

Ethan dug his fingers into his face, bumping his palms off his cheeks as the pressure grew too much behind them.

"No... Ethis, no..."

Ethan peeked between his fingers when Keren headed for him. "No... don't cry, Ethis," Keren said, and his lower lip quivered. "Momma cries too... don't cry."

I don't want him to become a monster.

Ethan sucked in a sharp breath and sidled further away from Keren, who followed, incessantly. "Go play with your blocks." He snapped his arms against his chest as he reached the corner.

Tears welled up in his little brother's eyes. "Don't cry," he whispered. Ethan stared at him, and then froze up when Keren flopped forward to hug him and cling onto him.

All the blurriness fell along his cheeks as he glanced around his room and Keren continued his iron grip. He raised his hands, but found himself without the strength to push Keren away. "I wasn't crying," he managed out. "I wasn't."

Keren released him with a confused frown. "You sounded like Momma."

Ethan stared at him as Keren stepped back, then clasped his tiny hands together before turning to the mess. "You don't... want to play right now?" He frowned deeper.

Ethan leaned his head against his wall and breathed clear again. "Not right now... Go back to your room before Mother wonders where you are. I just want to be alone."

Keren gave him a small nod, but hesitated with every step in leaving his room. Ethan sucked in his lips as Keren stood on tip-toes to close his door in full behind him.

Minutes, into hours. Into the night. Ethan raised himself into his bed and curled under the covers.

You'll listen when you're told to do something. Try harder.

He listened to the silence of the house, but frowned when quiet footsteps sounded outside his door. Unable to tear open his eyes, he froze up and readied for anything.

"Ethan?" Mother asked, voice soft.

"I think he's asleep, Lucia," Chalen whispered from the door. "Do you need anything else before I head to the casino?"

"I don't think so."

He listened to the shuffling movement, and tried not to shift when Mother sat on his bed and scooted. He shrunk in the shadows dancing past his eyelids. Confusion gave way to his sleepiness as Mother hauled him up to cradle him in her warm arms.

What?

He listened and waited, and resisted the lure of curiosity as she wrapped him tighter.

"I feel like I can't do much else," Mother whispered to Chalen. "They're my sons, and they deserve better than what I give them." Her voice trembled, but no more sobs tore through.

"You're doing what you can, Lucia."

Ethan tried not to open his eyes when Mother hugged him tightly. Ethan resisted the urge to squirm when another sob escaped her throat, and she pressed her cheek against his head. "I am so sorry, baby."

... why?

He never got an answer.

He snuck a peek when Mother wrapped him in his blankets, as she had many times before, but stopped when Keren was born. Her hand softly brushed through his hair. Tears cracked along the surface of her cheeks as she turned away from him.

Mom?