five
feelings and visions

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"I-- It's not f-f-fair...!" A small wail escaped from Catalpapaw's mouth.

Freezing rain pattered softly at the hillsides, the sky grayed out by clouds. Cottonpaw sat across from Acaciapaw and her brother, who were snuggly tucked in the apprentice den to escape the late leaf-bare drizzle. It had been a rough morning, the starry tom recalled.

"Acaciapaw, Catalpapaw. Come here, I have to tell you something important." Cottonpaw perked up with interest as the sibling's father, Camphorwind, pulled them aside. The tom always had an unreadable expression, but today it was particularly indiscernible. Storm clouds rolled in as they made their way to the side of camp where no-one else was. The moment he had his two kits alone, Cottonpaw hanging by Acaciapaw's side, Camphorwind spoke. "Your mother and I are no longer mates, I do not love her anymore. I'm with another cat now. I just wanted to let you know." Cottonpaw's mouth dried and his eyes widened in shock. Catalpapaw was stunned, but Acaciapaw narrowed her eyes. Cottonpaw felt a spark of anger coming from the cat he was connect to. Their father turned to leave without another word, sending another current of spitting hurt and anger through Acaciapaw and, subsequently, Cottonpaw.

"So that's it? You're done with us? Onto another family?" She growled lowly. He swung his broad head to look back at his daughter. The starry tom sunk back uncomfortably; the anger of Acaciapaw's that he could feel was merely background noise to the nervousness he himself conjured in himself.

"You'll always be my children--"

"No. That's an excuse," she paused before continuing, "if you don't want us, then I don't want you. Don't... talk to me. Or Catalpapaw. You're a rabbit-hearted traitor, Camphorwind," her eyes were icy and full of hurt. Cottonkit lowered his head and followed her as she turned, leaving. "C'mon, Catalpapaw."

Catalpapaw whimpered softy as his sister sat next to him. She hadn't said a word since they had hidden away in the tall grasses and gorse bushes of the apprentice den. Cottonpaw could feel the overwhelming hurt roll off of the siblings, his own heart aching. I couldn't imagine how my mom would feel if Blizzardstream just left her. Aldermist is always so sad because of me, and Blizzardstream is always there to help her. He felt a pit in his stomach. He had only watched his mother from a distance; he felt so guilty. It's... my fault she's sad.

"It's not f-fair to mom. She does so much for us, and he-he does this?" His sapphire eyes looked out to where Camphorwind was sitting in the hailing rain. He stood as a cat approached, and Acaciapaw let out a hiss as he warmly welcomed the sleek white she-cat they knew to be Hemlockwish.

"He traded out mom for her?" Acaciapaw hissed, standing and pacing. Cottonpaw swallowed, soft yellow-green eyes following the she-cat. She stopped sharply, eyes glaring daggers into the cat she once called 'father.'

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you, Acaciapaw... this must be really hard to go through," Cottonpaw meowed, standing and pressing his nose into her shoulder fur softly. The electricity crackling from her died down with the touch, and he felt her exhale slowly. I'm pretty sure we share emotions inadvertently, but I think... I think I just caused her to settle down! I've done something like it before with Blizzardstream; I urged him to go out and save Acaciapaw when she was a kit, and he did. I thought I could only do this kind of thing in emergencies, but if what I'm thinking is right, then I was able to use my words and feelings to change her mood.

Acaciapaw sat down, looking to her brother.

"We're apprentices now, Catalpapaw. We're big. We can't pity ourselves, we have to be there for mom. So stop crying." The words were sharp. Catalpapaw blinked as if taken aback.

"You're mean," he meowed flatly. "I'm allowed to be upset," he meowed as he tucked his head under his tail from where he lay, and turned his ears back. Cottonpaw's heart yearned to comfort the tom. This is hard on him. He basically just lost his dad; Acaciapaw can't you feel his hurt? He looked to the sepia and chocolate colored apprentice. He saw her jaw clenched, and he thought for a moment. Maybe I could... help her sympathize with him..?

"He's going through a rough time, Acaciapaw. I think he just needs your comfort right now," he nosed her gently. The words were unheard as per usual, but it was if the feeling behind them were received. He heard her sigh, long whiskers twitching.

"I'm sorry. You're right, you're allowed to be upset; this sucks. I'll... I'll go get you something to eat." She stood, ducking her head as she braved the rain to retrieve a meal. Cottonpaw watched her leave, turning his gaze to Catalpapaw. His heart warmed as he saw the faint smile on the brother's face.

+++

The rain hadn't stopped by nightfall. Cottonpaw had followed Acaciapaw during her training session after the meal she shared with her brother. She hadn't said a word about the day's events to Camelliaheart, but the tom didn't pry, either. He merely explained to her that she needs to anticipate the movements of her prey in order to successfully chase down a rabbit. Then, he made her run through the outcrop of trees that grew in the middle of a field near CopseClan's border in order to strengthen her speed and agility. Cottonpaw had followed along, and his own legs ached from the long exercise.

He followed her as she picked through the apprentice den past Poplarpaw and his two siblings, and settled in the nest next to Catalpapaw. The tom had long since fallen asleep, his dove-gray paws twitching in his sleep. Cottonpaw turned to head back to the connection pool when an overwhelming sense of sorrow overwhelmed him. His felt his eyes well up from the absolute pain and grief that so suddenly overtook him, and instantly he knew where this random feeling came from. He whipped around to Acaciapaw. She lay curled tightly in her nest, eyes shut and ears pinned back. Anguish rolled off her in waves, drowning and choking him. She's thinking about Camphorwind. Cottonpaw made his way through the den, sitting down next to her. He touched his nose to her temple, and the despair seemed to hit even harder. She's been holding this back all day... Cottonpaw knit his eyebrows together with concern, and ran his tongue between her ears.

"It's okay. It's okay. You have Camelliaheart, and Pecanwhisker is still here for you, too. Catalpapaw will never let you down. And... I mean, you don't know it, but I'm here, too. I'll always been here. Always. I'll keep you safe, I promise," Cottonpaw whispered comforting words, and slowly, the sadness ebbed away. He knew the pain was still there; his words were not wings to carry her away from the dark feelings, but rather a soft bed of feathers and pine needles to land on and try and process those hard feelings. Slowly, but surely, she drifted into a sleep. Cottonpaw held his breath as she dozed off, but didn't move from his spot. He touched his muzzle to the top of her head, and flashes of darkness invaded his vision. Flashes of fear, and yelling. He could see a flash Camphorwind and Pecanwhisker, teeth bared. His stomach turned. This is her dream-- it's a nightmare! He felt his own heart rate rise at the thought: she was having a scary dream right in front of him! With the rising of his heart rate, hers did as well, and the nightmare progressed to claws and teeth and blood and fear--

Calm down, Cottonpaw, you're making her nightmare worse! Calm down. You're from StarClan, you're her guardian. You can help her. He forced himself to slow his breathing, closing his eyes as he did so. What calms me? What gives me peace? He slowly blinked open his eyes, touching his nose to her fur. His mind went to his home, of the last slow morning he had with Hollydapple a few days prior before Acaciapaw's apprentice ceremony. Visions of the golden meadows dusted with stars and wildflowers, of Hollydapple's comforting licks on his head. Thoughts of sprinting through the fields slowly drifted to memories of StarClan's night sky.

He felt Acaciapaw's tenseness dissipate at his touch and sweet visions, and flashes of her dreams once again appeared in his mind, though this time, he saw unending smatterings of galaxies and the pride of catching a rabbit in the open fields. She was dreaming of hunting in StarClan. He smiled, and stood to leave. He paused, looking back over his shoulder to watch her peaceful sleeping form. His voice was soft as he spoke next, even though he knew he wouldn't be heard: "Sweet dreams, Acaciapaw."

//

an

Camphorwind can eat my shorts. Also I don't mean to push out Aldermist and Blizzardstream; their story will be coming lol they're not going to be invisible parents.