***Aubrey's POV***

Six months earlier-

December 25, 2018

Christmas.

My absolute favorite holiday. My mom always decorates multiple trees. Lights hang in icicles around the perimeter of the roof. Fresh Christmas tree limbs decorated with silk flowers hang over every arch and doorway. She even hangs that awful plastic mistletoe directly above the entry to the kitchen.

Every tree has a different theme. Ornaments carefully placed in every inch of the tree. You would think the limbs would break from the weight of the items she has gorged into every nook and cranny.

Food covers every inch of the counters. Ham, turkey, Mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, deviled eggs, pie, brownies, rolls, veggies, casseroles, a buffet fit for a hundred people. Only 75 usually show. Christmas music fills the air.

It's magical. Usually.

This year, my mom is exhausted. Pain is aching her very small frame. My grandma hasn't left her room in days. It's depressing and heart breaking. It's also so unusual. My mom is a ball of energy generally. Grandma is always flittering around the house griping, laughing, cleaning and cutting you deeper with her glares than any weapon could hope to.

I'm worried. I'm trying to be strong. In eleven days I watched the two strongest women I know rapidly deteriorate. We went to doctors appointments daily. No answers. Just more appointments. Last night I heard grandma laughing for the first time in weeks. She was alone in her room. It was creepy. She stared at the ceiling, holding an invisible conversation with some one.

The day before, Grandma had snapped and gotten aggressive at the doctors and my mom. I'm so concerned. I'm not sure what the hell is going on. It's scary. But, it's Christmas. And, we have to try to be happy. No one is aware of what has been going on. I tried to talk to them. They don't believe me. Today will be the first time the see for theirselves. That causes me unrelenting stress.

First thing this morning I woke everyone up for gifts. I am so excited. I spent so much time picking every perfect gift. I hope they love them. Time had healed so many wounds. I moved my mom and grandma in with me about seven months ago. We have all gotten closer. Grandma hasn't always been my biggest fan. But, a few years ago I won her over. After getting my license, we spent many shopping trips together. Now, she is my favorite company.

Mom has just started warming up to me. It only took 21 years. She hugged me the other day. I cried like a big baby. That hug meant everything to me. Now I spend hours sitting on her bed, adjusting her many pillows, holding her hand and I kiss her good night every single time she goes to sleep. That's a lot, she takes too many naps now days.

She promised she would spend all day awake. That made me smile. I want to soak up every minute I have with her. I hope our lives continue to go smoothly. I want to finally know what it feels like to be a daughter with a mom. She even stays up sometimes and watches Hallmark movies with me late into the night. They are cheesy but, her eyes light up every time. I could watch the walls with her and I would be satisfied. Sometimes I do, while she's sleeping.

She's on the couch now. Her tiny 75 pounds barely affecting the couch cushions. She eats, a lot. But, she continues to lose weight. Her arms are punny. I have a hard time holding her frail hands. I feel like at any minute, I could break her tiny bones. That scares me.

I just got done bathing grandma. I blew her hair dry, painted and manicured her nails and toes. I applied her deodorant and helped her take her vitamins. She let me dress her in her pjs. She had the new slippers my aunt bought her on her feet. She gets smaller every day. She has lost 15 pounds so far. It's heartbreaking for me to watch. I pulled her towards the couch. Small shuffles from her room, down the short hall way and finally to the seat. She wasn't coherent, that I could tell. The bath was a catastrophe. She cried and screamed saying she was gonna fall. Even tho she was laying down. I was devastated.

She asked me where my mom was as soon as she sat down. Mom was right beside her. Grandma introduced herself and asked my mom her name. Once again, I was on the verge of weeping for them both. I was struggling today and I still had to cook. I would pay all my monetary value to have my grandma spit her hilarious venom at me in this moment. I'm getting the hint I will never hear those things again.

After presents, I put grandma back in bed. She wasn't doing well and wanted to rest. I unhappily obliged. My mom was back in her room. The familiar air of depression was latching on to my mom like a life line. Grandma forgetting her was breaking her. They had been together in the same house for the majority of two decades.

I went to cook. People should be here soon.

With all the usual food bandits, and the normal holiday spread everyone is fat, full and mostly happy. Laughter fills the air as all my cousins regal their friends with embarrassing childhood stories. Almost all revolve around me. My cousins are hilarious. We get along well.

My aunts are in the room with my grandma. Three of the four are anyways. My fourth aunt passed a couple years ago. Alone, reaching for her medicine, she slumped over and never woke. She took a small part of all of us when she died. She took a large part of grandma. The pain of losing her daughter was a heavy burden.

After a couple hours, people began to leave. True to her word, my mom stayed awake thru it all. She wasn't alert but, she was present. My biggest gift that day was her. I enjoyed myself and even managed to push my fears and worries to the back of my mind for a short while.

As everyone left my grandma's room I began to get angry. They flowed in and out all night. It looked more like a funeral then a Christmas party as each one exited her room. Most were crying by the end of the night. I sorta lost it. I was screaming outside at each of them as they left to get in their cars.

After what they witnessed, they agreed to take my grandma to a better hospital in the morning. We had to find out what was wrong so she could get better. I cried all night that night. I cried for my mom, she was hurt. I cried for my family, they were ashamed for not having listened. I cried for my grandma because I knew how embarrassing it had been to forget things and have her grandchild bathe her. I cried for each person who walked away having witnessed my anger.

Sleep didn't find me that night. The depression of tomorrow had buried deep within my bones. I paced, I cleaned, I tried to finally eat to no avail. My stomach was in knots for what tomorrow would bring. I had no good feelings. My mind attacked me each time I closed my eyes. Broken sobs filled my chest as I tried to stifle the sound in my pillow. I didn't want my mom to worry for me.

As daylight broke, I prepared my grandma for the ride to the hospital. I got my mom to talk to her. It didn't end well. My grandma yanked at my mom's tiny frame and cursed her to no end. Grandma flailed and threw a hissy fit over the family members who would escort her to the doctor. I spent all morning rearranging her company.

When my aunt and cousin finally got there, I was relieved they calmed grandma down. She almost willingly took the back seat. Although, she fought with everyone until I finally talked her into letting me wrap her seatbelt around her loosely. She may have been unwell, but her fight never died out. I kissed her on her forehead, and pressed our heads together, my hands wrapped in her wavy grey hair. I breathed in the scent that was grandma. I was scared it would be the last time I got the chance.

They finally departed for the two hour trip to the town where a team of doctors agreed to examine my grandma. My mom went back to bed, with my help. I stayed with her for most of the day and evening. We talked and she cried. She was a mess. I got her to eat a little before the pain of loneliness, worry and physical ailments relented into sleep. I stayed longer, watching her take ragged breaths. Her COPD flared due to her anxiety and pain. All night I administered her meds on schedule, carefully documenting each one.

Late that evening, almost twilight, my mom's phone lit up. I woke her gently, my aunt was calling. Thru a sleepy fog she put the phone on speaker. My aunt let us know they were putting grandma in a medically induced sleep so they could properly assess her. That scared me even more. I haven't heard many positive results after those treatments. I got my mom comfortable and talked her back to sleep. I stayed again. I never left her side. Some semblance of sleep started to find me.

The next morning I was awoken by another call. My aunt and cousin had gotten some test results. Grandma had a metastatic lesion on her lung. It had travelled thru her body and attached to her sternum, ribs, collarbone and the stem of her neck. Stage four lung cancer. I was devastated once again. My mom was writhing in pain, both physical and emotional.

I made my mom promise by the end of the week we would go to the same hospital grandma was in. I needed her to get checked. I was tired of putting it off. She wasn't getting better and her weight seemed to dwindle by the hour. Every day passed and she weakened dramatically.

That night, after finding out grandma wouldn't be treated, I tore my Christmas decorations down. I wouldn't stare at the painful memories from that day. I packed everything away within hours. I cleaned grandma's room and packed some of her clothes in a bag so we could visit her soon.

Two days passed and grandma's birthday was coming up. January 5th. Me and my mom decided we would go see her tomorrow. My mom was in no state for travel. She was puking every couple hours. I thought the stress was finally taking it's toll. Her body wretched and her tiny frame violently shook as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

I spent all night wiping her down with a warm cloth. I gave her attention and affection, doting on her like a tiny child. I watched movies as I laid beside her, holding her in my arms against my chest. Every whimper that escaped her lips, from pain or heartbreak, I soothed her back to sleep. Every three hours I administered her meds, holding her up while she sipped her sprite to swallow the pills. Every two hours I would walk her to the bathroom to empty her tummy of the little she consumed. I gave her breathing treatments like clock work.

My heart was hurting so much. I thought about every good memory I had with these two women. I imprinted every memory I could within my soul, tucking them safely within my heart, so I could never lose them. I waited and watched the hours pass until I could take my mom to see her mom. I was ready to kiss my grandma's head. Eventually, I walked outside to get some air. I stood below the stars, it was freezing, snow had come. It was startling, it hadn't snowed in South Georgia in a long time. As the beautiful flurries of ice descended the Heavens I watched and silently prayed. I begged, I pleaded and I bargained with the gods to save my two favorite women. I bartered my life, happiness and anything I could grasp just to keep them with me. Although, I knew it was to no avail.

I returned to my mother. Wrapping my arms around her once again. Giving her my love, praying she could draw strength from it. Sleep didn't find me once again. I just laid there, smelling my mom. Memorizing her snoring face. I etched every small detail of her frail beauty in my mind. I felt her skin, counted her breaths and ran my fingers thru her short hair. Morning would come and we would go see her mom. This brought me a little peace.