3rd Person

Escaping the fight is impossible.

Even if a soldier lives on, the battle continues; this time, within the mind.

Only through death does the battle finally end.

Zevon

I awoke in a fog.

My vision was blurry, my eyes unfocused.

I felt the soft, comfy texture of bedding and clean sheets beneath me.

Slowly, everything started to clear up.

I was... back on Coruscant? Yeah, this was the Temple infirmary.

I was alone.

I made a pathetic attempt to rise, failing miserably. That was when I became fully cognizant of the damage my body had sustained.

A sharp pain pulsated from where my side had been lacerated; the vibroblade had done its job. Fortunately, the gash didn't hurt so long as I didn't move.

The blaster strikes weren't the same. The surface area of the flesh they'd struck felt painfully hot, as if my skin was ablaze. What degree the burns were, I had no idea.

My injured leg was stiff, immobile. In fact, it had swollen to nearly twice the size of its twin. There was a surgical incision below my knee, evidently performed while I was unconscious.

I couldn't move at all.

As the memories of the whole ordeal churned throughout my skull, a single thought surfaced.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

My suffering was only beginning.

"Ah, it's about time!" a soothing voice exclaimed, entering the medical bay.

"Master?" I questioned, perplexed. Everything was still a bit fuzzy, but the tholothian visitor certainly bore resemblance to Master Gallia.

"Oh I'm afraid not, padawan Boltreaver; I'm Stass Allie." Master Allie laughed. "Your master and I are... related."

Oh, that's right. I faintly remember hearing that Master Gallia had a cousin within the order.

Master Allie cleared up a lot of my situation for me. About a week had passed, and throughout it I'd been drifting in and out of consciousness.

She'd administered bacta to heal some of my injuries, and a medical droid had performed the operation on my knee.

The entirety of my knee apparatus had been disintegrated; cybernetics had been used to reconstruct my lost ligaments and tendons.

Fortunately, the surgery was successful.

Now I had to recover from it.

"Where is everyone? What did I miss?!" I inquired, frantic curiosity taking hold of me.

"Slow down, padawan. Your wounds need to heal, try to get some rest. I only heard bits and pieces of the operation on Jedha. I can tell you this, however. Your master is currently attending a council meeting." Master Allie elucidated.

"Ah..." I muttered. So that's where she was.

For everything I gave, it never felt like it was returned in kind.

"I'll inform her of your awakening." Master Allie chirped, trying to be encouraging.

"Thanks." I mumbled halfheartedly as she left the medical bay.

Several hours passed.

There was nothing that felt more limiting than being bedridden.

I should've been at the gym.

I should've been out for a run.

I should've been practicing my forms.

Anything but this isolation, powerless to do anything but stay still.

Eventually, a familiar face made her way into the infirmary.

I looked up, making eye contact with my master, Adi Gallia.

Her wrist was heavily bandaged, as well as her head-tendril that had been shot. Still, she was in a much better state than myself. Master Gallia eventually broke the uncomfortable silence between us.

"Padawan, I know the mission didn't go as planned. Even so, you exceeded my expectations." she stated. "And, though I didn't witness it, your heroics were astonishing. All who witnessed it said as much."

'Great.' I thought to myself, caring very little; her words were lost on me. I should have been elated, but I just couldn't bring myself to be.

I listened to my master explain the entirety of what had happened on her end, as well as everyone else on the surface. I absorbed all of the information, my spirits dampening throughout.

Ventress got away. My master thwarted her plans, but still... the losses we'd sustained...

My master cleared her throat before changing the subject.

"How... how are you wounds?" she asked.

"Spectacular, as you can see." I grumbled sarcastically, showing how immobile my leg was. "And yours?" I returned, gesturing to her wrist.

Suddenly, I tensed up; we both did. Viewing her wrist had called upon a certain unpleasant memory.

"They're... fine..." my master trailed off, seeming uneasy. She looked like she wanted to say something, but decided against it.

"What did I miss?" I pried nervously.

"Well, after you exited the catacombs.." Master Gallia began.

"Burst... where's Burst?!" I suddenly interrupted, worried.

"Calm yourself, padawan." Master Gallia motioned. "Sergeant Burst is in good health. We both would have perished if not for you." she affirmed with a tiny nod of approval. "He remains on Jedha for now." she added.

"Why?" I queried, perplexed. Still, I breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that Burst was alive.

"Some troops had to be left there, obviously. The council can't allow an exploitation of this nature happen again; Master Luminara and her apprentice have been tasked with cleanup."

"Master Luminara? Did we get reinforcements?" I questioned, realizing this bit of info came with many hidden implications.

"Indeed, Padawan Tano and General Skywalker were among them as well." my master revealed, confirming my suspicions.

So I did hear Ahsoka's voice. It hadn't been a hallucination.

"Where's Ahsoka now?" I queried, masking my eagerness. I had so much to tell Ahsoka, and so much to ask her. The last time I saw her, things between us were... unresolved.

"Unfortunately for you, off-world." Master Gallia disclosed, raising her eyebrow at my curiosity. "She has an assignment on Mandalore."

"Oh, gotcha." I sighed. It would have to wait.

Master Gallia glanced over at the time.

"I can't stay any longer, padawan; council duties. I have no doubt you'll make a swift recovery, after which we can continue your training." she insisted, to which I nodded unenthusiastically.

Before she was out the door, Master Gallia stopped in her tracks. She'd had a revelation, evidently.

"Would you like to speak with Sergeant Burst? I can arrange that." she offered.

"Yeah, that would be nice." I accepted, surprised. Suddenly, a shadow spread across my master's face as she had another realization.

"Before you do... there's something you need to know. Trooper Slipstream met his end not long after reaching the surface. He sent Sergeant Burst your way." she divulged with care.

'No...' I despaired, struggling to process the information given to me.

Slip hadn't even crossed my mind.

I'd just assumed he was fine.

Not only had he died, he'd also indirectly saved my life.

If only I'd been faster, I could've prevented his death.

I felt an anger brewing throughout my chest.

"Why did you bring him along?!" I suddenly accused. My master raised an eyebrow, taken aback by my outburst.

"Padawan, are you suggesting I lead him to his death?" Master Gallia proposed slowly.

"Maybe you did." I affirmed standoffishly.

"I'm not sure Trooper Slipstream would have fared much better on the surface. I gave him a choice, and he followed. I don't think there was another way, we lost many more good men..." she uttered, deep in thought.

"I just... I'm still processing it all..." I trailed off, frustrated.

"I sense much fear in you, Zevon. Anger... resentment too. These things cloud your vision, dull your focus. I understand your comradery with the clones, but do not allow yourself to become attached. With that, I must be leaving." she stated with finality, heading out the doorway.

She just so happened to bump shoulders with a certain Jedi elder on the way out.

"Ah, Adi! It's been quite a while. I was just about to visit your apprentice!" Master Sinube remarked jovially.

"Tera." Master Gallia acknowledged with a customary bow. "I'd love to chat, but I have council business to attend to. Farewell." she expressed, hurrying away.

"Master Sinube?!" I sputtered, pleasantly surprised.

"Indeed, and I come bearing gifts!" he chattered happily. He was flaunting three decorative holobooks above his head.

'Rarities of the Force, Ysalamir: A Mysterious Phenomenon, Blinded by the Light.' I read the names off one by one. They'd all been on my reading list.

"For you." he stated, plopping them onto my bed.

"Thanks." I grinned.

At least these would somewhat numb the boredom.

Adi

Why did I take on an apprentice?

Furthermore, why Zevon Boltreaver?

I didn't regret it. No, not at all. It was refreshing to instruct such an eager learner.

It was just so unorthodox for me.

Flashback

"Young Boltreaver, no... Zevon Boltreaver, be my Padawan!" I exclaimed.

End Flashback

In the briefest of moments, I'd faltered.

I just... couldn't see him fail. Why had I gotten so hung up on that?

Council members seldom took on apprentices. It was allowed, yet frowned upon.

Zevon

Sometimes I wondered if literature was a conduit for the flow of time. As I read, minutes became hours in the blink of an eye. Eventually however, I became distracted.

"Master Sinube?" I piped up, seriously.

"Yes, young one?" he acknowledged, still engrossed in his own reading.

"I didn't know you knew Master Gallia." I stated, matter-of-factly.

"Surprised?" he questioned, his eyes gleaming as he removed his reading glasses. "But yes, of course I do. I was the master of her youngling clan."

"Huh. I guess that's not really surprising." I nodded.

"Yes, well... she was quite the bookworm, much like you." he laughed.

"Tell me more, please." I requested. It's not as if I had much else to occupy myself with.

Adi

As I entered my quarters, I dimmed the lights to my usual preference. I then made my way to a large gray trunk located in the rightmost corner. Locked within were what little secrets I kept to myself.

Arranged neatly in a row were several aged, hardcover journals. I picked out the leftmost volume from the bunch, dusting it off with my hands.

Throughout my precious time with the order, I'd steadily been documenting every little detail and event. The result was an unpublished collection of my experiences that I'd dubbed Chronicles of a Jedi Master.

Perhaps my work could shed some light on the uncertainty within me.

Chronicles of a Jedi Master, Volume One: The Beginning

Greetings.

This is Jedi Master Adi Gallia, esteemed member of the Jedi High Council.

This volume contains an array of isolated experiences and conversations I remember from the early years of my life. As such, it is far less focused than the succeeding volumes. The mind of a child is still developing, so a perfect telling of events is impossible.

I was born on Coruscant, despite my family being native to Corellia. They emigrated in search of employment, as many do. Famed for their diplomacy, my family would rise through the ranks very quickly.

I was gone long before that happened.

I remember very little of my birth. The awareness of a force-sensitive is greater than most, but even those with the gift scarcely recall much of their early youth.

What I do remember is this:

The loving hands of my mother cradling me as I came into being.

The excitement of my father, overjoyed at my birth.

The bewilderment of my siblings, though I can't remember how many there were. It's too foggy.

Being so close to the epicenter of Jedi activity, I was discovered very quickly. Curiously, there was no Jedi that discovered me. A simple blood test identified me as force-sensitive.

"Make us proud."

At six-months old, my mother imparted her last words to me. She sounded so distraught, frustrated even.

What did she mean? How was I to make them proud? I'm still not quite sure.

The rest of my budding experiences come entirely from the temple.

Tera Sinube was the master of my youngling clan. His tutelage was... unorthodox. Under his mentorship, I underwent the basics of Jedi training, as all younglings do.

Though I took my training mildly seriously, I was still young and naïve. I was quite the free spirit; rebellious, you could say. In that way, I stood in stark contrast to my fellow trainees; except for Obi-wan Kenobi, he was much the same.

Tera

"Master Kenobi, I'm sure you know of him. There's no way you wouldn't, being around Ahsoka. Funny enough, they were a lot like you two... so close." I sighed.

Adi

Kenobi struggled. He certainly improved as he aged, but most of us back then didn't think he would even be chosen by a master. Sometimes I would sneak out in the dead of night to watch him practice. The blood, sweat, and toil he endured to keep up with the rest of us...

I excelled.

My force affinity was substantial, but I especially showed promise as a duelist. Thus, I attracted the attention of many prospective Jedi Masters. One such Knight took me on as his apprentice as soon as I became eligible.

Tera

Flashback

"Separate, why?!" Adi protested, tears streaming down her face. I couldn't bear to look into her eyes any longer, it was too much.

Obi-wan looked glum, though he seemed to be taking it better.

"I'm sorry young one... the council has ordered it so. There's nothing I can do." I professed weakly.

End Flashback

"Her future master went before the council, urging that they split the two apart. He claimed their dependence upon one another was holding them back." I recalled, still annoyed after all these years. "It was decided. Kenobi was transferred to the clawbird clan with Master Yoda."

Adi

My entire world shattered that day.

The training was brutal. It was brutal, but it bestowed on me my strength and wisdom.

My master filtered out my unsavory qualities, giving me focus and discipline.

He would often lock me within my quarters for days on end. Lights off and everything. I was resistant at first, but I learned to exist in my harsh new reality.

"Food, water... a Jedi has no need for such trivialities. A Jedi needs only the force." he stated.

Tera

"What he did, I've no idea... but she was never the same. Something changed within her." I lamented.

Adi

As the days went on... well, I couldn't exactly keep track of the days. Regardless, I was rarely given a drink or a meal. To ascend beyond the physical realm, I had to free myself of my desires.

I must have swung my training saber a million times. Hours upon hours of meditation, hours upon hours of lightsaber forms, all in complete darkness.

"You may leave when your tethers leave you." he declared.

He could feel my fear, as well as my attachments. Through his instruction, I gained mastery over them. Still, I had a ways to go to mature. There were many locations I enjoyed sneaking off to, out of my master's reach. I often found myself sitting across from Tera Sinube in the Jedi Archives.

He was strangely critical of my master's philosophy.

"But... my master says I have to let go. I have to let go of my desires and emotions." I said, unsure.

"Young one, the Jedi code seeks to guide through these things, not renounce. Without them, how can we understand our mission? Master Sinube opined.

"Tethers to others cloud my vision and dull my focus. They make a Jedi susceptible to the dark side. That's what my master told me; hate, suffering, fear..." I shot back, annoyed.

"And yet, the council so fears the dark side. Forcibly suppressing your feelings will make them more powerful!" he maintained.

"I'm doing it fine already." I claimed.

"You are too rigid and inflexible, young one." Master Sinube sighed.

"Why should I listen to you? You sit here in this library, comatose, all day. Everything you're saying is wrong according to my teachers; Master Yoda, even." I argued, irked.

Tera Sinube let out another great sigh, as if this was a longstanding battle for him.

"I know my views aren't as popular with the current state of the order. I'm simply a relic of the past... but, if you'll allow me..." he began.

"Go on..." I encouraged.

"A Jedi is like the great tree. Steadfast, yet flexible. Strong, yet benevolent. Resilient, yet finite." he voiced.

"Finite, you mean death?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. Eventually, a Jedi becomes one with the force. But through the fruits of a Jedi's labor, the seeds of the order will be planted all across the galaxy. And so the cycle ends... at the beginning." he finished.

I'm still not quite sure what to make of his words.

A week later

Zevon

I limped through the temple corridor, attracting a great deal of unwanted attention.

Being covered in bandages and medical tape would do that to you.

The whispers were more potent than ever.

"Did you hear what happened?"

"Look at him."

"He's going to get himself killed soon enough."

"Cal, it's not polite to stare."

Master Allie had ordered me to stay at the medical bay for three more weeks.

I had other plans.

The underworld was as gloomy and filthy as ever.

"Clang!"

"Clang!"

"Clang!"

After making the familiar trek down to Durasteel Strength, a sweet symphony of steel graced my ears.

The gym was packed, like a swath of womp rats squeezed together.

The owner of the place, a brawny four-armed HK unit, was casually bench-pressing two barbells at once. I counted four, no five plates on each side. Nine hundred ninety pounds in total. I'm sure he would've added more if the barbell had been designed for it.

Several of the gymgoers, who were diverse in species, couldn't take their eyes off the impressive feat.

HK-74 was certainly a showman.

"WEAKLING!!" HK-74 roared with the usual gusto. He tossed the heavy burden away carelessly, almost squishing a frightened Twi'lek.

'I'm really not in the mood...' I thought to myself, out of it.

"Alive, are we?! Eh... barely." HK-74 replied with a grimace, analyzing my injuries.

"Please stop." I scolded, pushing away his large metal hand as he tried to ruffle my hair.

"Who pissed on your moisture farm?" HK-74 chuckled robotically. "You need a morale boost, weakling. Luckily, a new shipment of preworkout came in. I am a generous droid, so it's complimentary."

He handed me a keg of oozing black liquid.

"HK-74, is this OIL?!" I scoffed, appalled.

"Whoops, I forgot that you're not a droid. Get to it then." he ordered, shoving me toward one of the steel racks.

Just like that, I was back in my element. I felt the many stares of other gymgoers, but they didn't bother me. This was my realm.

Standing in front of a rack, I set my sights on the metal bar located on top.

I shifted my weight to my good leg, jumping so that I gripped the bar tightly.

I began doing pullups.

One. Two. Three.

The reps strained my body far more than normal... was this the result of being bedridden for so long?!

Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three.

"Rrrrrgh!" I growled in frustration, knowing I wouldn't even come close to the usual tally.

Forty-one. Forty-two. Forty-three.

I began seeing flashes of the battle, my trauma brimming to the surface.

Sixty-one. Sixty-two. Sixty-three.

Slipstream... Link... all the others... all the death...

My fear. My weakness. They had to go.

Someway, somehow, I was going to rise above all that. I had to become more than human.

Eighty-one... eighty-two...

My arms and back were showing signs of failure.

My rage exploded; I refused to stop, pushing further. I wondered...

'Is this where Ventress draws her power from? Can I do the same?'

Finishing at eighty-seven, I dropped to the cold steel floor. My arms drooped to my side.

My biceps were in agony, my forearms and back tense. It seemed as if they would tear at the seams.

I'd missed this feeling.

I continued my usual regimen, progressively frustrated with my poor performance.

Eventually, an unexpected visitor arrived. Seeing HK-74 make his way to the entrance, I followed his movement until seeing...

Master Gallia was here???? I made eye contact with her, though she was predictably unreadable.

Annoyed, I hurried over to the front desk. If she was here to bring me back, she was in for a rude awakening.

"Master Gallia, why are you here?" I pried suspiciously. She handwaved my question, turning to the metal mass monster.

"I'd like to purchase a membership at this... er, gym?" she grumbled awkwardly. HK-74 dwarfed her, making her look like a pesky lava flea.

"No purchase required." HK-74 dismissed, waving one of his many mechanical limbs. "A Jedi at my business? That's payment enough, as long as you don't go arresting anybody..."

"Ah, I suppose." my master accepted, taken aback.

"However!!" HK-74 bellowed. "First, you must be broken in!"

Poor, poor Master Gallia. I spotted her for the first test, a simple bench press. Although the gymgoers had been nervous with my master's presence at first, they now crowded around us to watch the show.

The bar was loaded with two plates on each side.

My master was about to die.

"Begin!" HK-74 yelled, chopping the air. As she unracked the weight, it nearly crushed her chest; I hardly had time to stop it. The crowd erupted into synchronous laughter.

"Ugh." she spat as I re-racked the bar.

"Fail!" HK-74 declared, motioning for her to continue to the next test.

"You don't have to continue, master." I stated grimly.

"Actually, I do." she replied, following HK-74.

The next test was a simple backsquat, which she also failed miserably.

The same was true for the third test, a deadlift.

"And now..." HK-74 started, motioning for the crowd to get louder. "The final test!" he proclaimed, stepping into the ring.

"And I do... what, exactly?" Master Gallia asked. In response, the hulking droid lifted two of his metal arms, palms spread open.

"Push me." he ordered, egging her on.

My master obliged, locking hands with the automated giant. She then began pushing.

The veins on her forehead were visible as she put her entire weight into forcing HK-74 against the ropes. The outcome was predictable; he didn't move. He gave her a look that must have been a droid's version of pity.

HK-74 pulled out all the stops. In an instant, my master was on the ropes. HK-74 didn't stop there, however. He continued pushing, to the point that the ropes began to stretch. Then, he craned his metal neck down so that he was face-to-face with Master Gallia.

They entered a staring contest as my master struggled to breath. The crowd was now cheering, louder than ever.

After a moment, HK-74 released her. The tests were over.

"Fail!" he shouted, decisively. The crowd booed my master now, jeering wildly. Only then did HK-74 seem to notice their presence. "What are you doing standing around?!"

The crowd dispersed, leaving HK-74 alone with my master and I.

"What was that?! I thought you were a Jedi Maxer." HK-74 scolded, waggling his finger at Master Gallia. I burst out laughing.

"Pfft." my master chortled, unable to contain herself. She regained her composure quickly, however."

"You make weakling over here look like a Trandoshan, but those eyes..." HK-74 trailed off, his interest piqued. "Show her around, weakling."

As I lead Master Gallia through a review of my routine, I couldn't help but ask her a question.

"What changed your mind?" I pried curiously.

"You did." she responded frankly.

A few days later

I made my way to to the training grounds, eager to learn whatever new technique Master Gallia had in store for me. Apparently, she had also brought a guest instructor.

I had to get stronger, I had to learn more. For a mediocre man such as myself, anything was worth adding to my arsenal.

I was graced with the familiar sight of the great tree as I stepped onto the training grounds.

Sighting Master Gallia, I picked up the pace. She was with someone else, undoubtedly the guest. I couldn't see their face.

My master turned around after hearing my footsteps, as did the stranger.

Oh...! It was a familiar face after all, a very recognizable one.

Then my master dropped a bombshell.

"Padawan, allow me to formally introduce you to my former master. This is Jedi Master Mace Windu, champion of the Jedi order." she introduced.