3rd Person

Shatterpoint.

A force ability named after a force phenomenon of the same name.

On a macroscopic level, shatterpoints were said to be fulcrums of time and space, singular moments of uncertainty... moments of weakness... moments of choice.

Though microscopic in the grand scheme of eternity, these instantaneous flashes of time were created through eons of buildup.

And... their outcome determined the trajectory of the galaxy for eons to come.

On a microscopic level, shatterpoints weren't much different.

Everyone experiences stress in their life. Everyone experiences failure on some level.

Losing a race.

Being canned from a job.

The loss of a partner... a parent...

These stresses build up within us over time, wear down our bones until they reach a breaking point.

A moment of truth...

Of volition.

Our response determines who we are.

https://youtu.be/OdbqAQwKNDY

(y/n) POV

Upon our return to Coruscant, we were to immediately assemble the council for a debriefing.

As such, Master Kenobi began the necessary preparations to assemble all twelve masters.

It would take time, however. Therefore, I requested to break off from the group temporarily.

Master Kenobi honored my request.

And so... I set out to look for my master.

I stepped through the hallowed halls with an uneasiness, sneaking panicked glances at every Jedi I passed who looked old enough to be a master...

Because... clipped to my waist was something I could not let them discover.

Since the moment I'd awoken from that frenzy on Mortis, I'd heard tortured wails hailing from within the worn, secondhand hilt.

Wails of anguish as the crystal bled a deep, crimson red.

If I could hear them, well... I didn't want to find out if anyone else could.

Furthermore, as my footsteps reverberated through the polished temple floor... I felt a dark presence...

Trailing me.

Lurking in my shadow.

'It must be red crystal.' I assumed, shivering.

But, as my footfalls echoed alongside so many others, my ears picked up on a peculiar sound.

"Flap. Flap. Flap."

Wingbeats.

Without warning, a small shadow passed over me, and I jerked my head upward.

Nothing.

"Is something wrong, young one?" a voice inquired, and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I spun around, catching sight of the voice's origins immediately.

A Chiss Jedi, and based on her dignified demeanor, presumably a master.

Or not. Chiss were like that anyway.

I then realized I was holding up the endless stream of Jedi funneling through the temple halls.

As a result, I was bombarded by the bewildered looks of several knights, masters, and padawans, none of whom I'd ever seen before.

"No master, sorry." I apologized, gracing the Chiss with a light bow.

"If you're feeling odd, the medical bay is always willing to give psychological examinations." the master advised, unconvinced by my simple answer. "Personally, I'd recommend some quiet meditation."

As she took in a deep breath, her brow furrowed, as if she'd smelled something rotting.

Her eyes darted around, suspicious.

Those analytical, red eyes that lasers could have emitted from...

That brilliant, blue skin that rivaled my master's eyes.

When her gaze settled on me, I knew what she'd sensed.

"I'll consider your advice, master... I'll be going now." I informed her, fleeing from the situation as quick as possible.

As I scuttled away, the searing sensation of her gaze never left my back.

I continued marching through the halls, attempting to be more stealthy this time.

And still, the shadow continued to pursue me.

While ascending the steps to the temple hangar, I saw the reflection of a black, winged creature within the oculus above.

When I blinked, it vanished.

...

I was so on edge that when a familiar, shrill voice called out to me, I froze.

"(y/n), wait up!"

Ahsoka.

"I thought you were keeping your distance." I commented plainly, halting momentarily until she was beside me.

"I feel fine right now." she responded, a slight shake in her voice barely discernable... but still there. "...What do you need from Master Gallia?"

I started speedwalking again, silently noting the fact that Ahsoka was keeping two wingspans of distance between us.

"I need to do something about this." I answered, jabbing my thumb at the lightsaber hidden under the flaps of my cloak.

"Ohh...!" she exclaimed, immediately getting the picture. "Yeah, I don't think that would fly with the council."

"It should be able to be purified, but I don't have the talent or experience to do that..." I muttered under my breath, too softly for Ahsoka to hear.

"...I told you about the factory on Geonosis right?" Ahsoka blurted out suddenly. "And the... brain worms..."

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning it." I answered, curious as to where she was going with it.

"I never told you, but... Barriss got infected." she confessed, evidently reliving something traumatic. "We fought... I won. She begged me to kill her, but I couldn't do it; luckily, I didn't have to."

"I'm... I'm sorry you had to go through that." I told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

As my skin touched hers, she instantly recoiled.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, apologizing profusely.

"No, that's my bad. I... I didn't think about it." I admitted.

"What happened with you, it was just like the brain worms..." Ahsoka professed, returning to a comfortable distance. "But worse. So much worse."

"It was already hard enough fighting the enemy." I stated grimly. "I never thought I'd have to fight my... friends."

Ahsoka nodded, and we locked eyes for a brief moment.

"Clack. Clack. Clack."

"Careful, there's no need to walk so fast in the halls!" a hoarse, elderly voice warned.

I knew that slow, rythmic clacking of a cane against polished stone...

"Master Sinube!" I exclaimed, greeting the elder with gusto.

"How do you do, young one? Ah, and young Tano as well." the reptilian Jedi Master remarked.

Master Sinube's clan of younglings, the Convor Clan, trailed behind him, young and impressionable.

The initiates included a human boy with black hair, a rodian girl, a tholothian girl, a nautolan boy, and an ithorian and a wookie of unknown gender to me.

"Ah, introductions! Students, meet decorated Jedi padawans (y/n) (l/n) and Ahsoka Tano!" Master Sinube announced, winking at the two of us before turning to the youngsters. "These little saplings are Petro, Ganodi, Katooni, Byph, and Gungi."

Judging by his glazed-over eyes, Petro, the human, didn't register that Master Sinube had said anything.

The entire time, he'd been fixated on the devices Ahsoka and I kept at our sides.

"You have your lightsabers!" he blurted out, incapable of containing his feverish excitement. "I want mine... how was the Gathering?!"

The Gathering.

It all came back to me in an instant, like a war veteran experiencing intrusive, vivid recollections of trauma.

My muscles became lax.

"Now Petro, you must be patient. The time will come." Master Sinube assured his overenthusiastic pupil. "The Gathering isn't far off for these sprouts. I'd estimate they'll go in no less than a few months."

So...

Soon enough, these tiny initiates would be constructing their laser swords.

As per tradition.

That's how far behind I was.

Bit by bit, the younglings crept closer, still hiding behind the crinkled spine of their mentor.

All eyes were on our lightsabers.

Little did they know...

This lightsaber wasn't mine.

...!

The red crystal.

"I..." I started nervously, anxious on so many levels.

"Feel free to take a look at mine." Ahsoka boasted proudly, holding out each of her silver-hilted sabers.

The youngsters swarmed around her, losing all interest in me.

As I breathed a sigh of relief, I saw Ahsoka flash me a smile.

"I've got your back." she mouthed to me silently.

"So... have you two worked it out?" Master Sinube asked, looking between Ahsoka and I with curiosity.

I was confused for a second, unsure of how Master Sinube would have known about the friction between us.

"Have we?" I asked in tandem, throwing the question to Ahsoka.

"I don't know, have we?" she shrugged, expertly managing the mob of children around her.

"I think that's all you're going to get out of us." I told my longtime mentor apologetically. "By the way, have you seen my master?"

...

Master Sinube confirmed what I'd already suspected.

When Ahsoka and I entered the main hangar, it was more busy than ever.

Thousands of masters and temple employees were refueling their personal ships, preparing for missions, unloading cargo...

In the midst of it all, there she was, laying comfortably across the length of her starfighter, her head tendrils strewn on the hull like seaweed.

Jedi Master Adi Gallia.

She held a timeworn book over above her, a pair of mechanic's goggles resting on her forehead as she read.

The hardcopy was ancient, and the pages looked to be parchment, the writing written in ink. Despite my frequent trips to the archives, I'd never seen anything like it.

When I got closer, I was able to read the title on the cover: Legend.

As we approached, my master sat up.

"I expected you'd be gone longer... not much of mission, huh?" Master Gallia expressed, closing the book with a soft thud.

"I wouldn't say that." I chuckled jointly with Ahsoka.

Outwardly, I was cheerful, glad to see my master again.

In the back of my mind, I was replaying our last interaction over and over.

How ashamed... embarassed she'd been, pushing me away and out of that room.

Now...?

It was like nothing ever happened.

That's always how it was with her.

"Anyway, Is there a reason you came to see me now? We're already going to convene shortly, (y/n)." my master inquired, ignoring Ahsoka.

"Yeah..." I trailed off, fetching the corrupted lightsaber from my waist. "Don't be alarmed master."

I held out the weathered device.

She received it, baffled at my warnings.

As soon as the metal touched her palm, it was obvious that she sensed it.

Additionally, thought it wasn't obvious to the eye, a red glow leaked out of the cracks between the mechanical components.

"Who did this?!" Master Gallia demanded aggressively.

"Not me." I responded cautiously.

"I know that!" she snapped, focusing her ire onto Ahsoka instead.

"It was nobody you know." Ahsoka insisted calmly.

"Everything will be clear after the debriefing." I assured, at which my master's wrath deflated.

"Well, it's good that you came to me." Master Gallia sighed. "I'll pass it along to the researchers... unless I decide to take a crack at it myself. Consider it taken care of."

"Great!" I exclaimed, leaning against the cockpit of her aethersprite. 'Glad to be rid of that.'

"No!" Master Gallia condemned suddenly.

"Huh?" I exclaimed, confused.

"Do you realize what you've done?!" she scolded, distressed.

"Wha-?" I grunted as she bopped my over the head with a thousand pages bound by leather.

"Your fingerprints are all over the transparasteel now!" Master Gallia cried out, shaking her head. "Do you taint everything you touch?"

She immediately began polishing the cockpit, trying to return it to its former state.

As she rubbed away at the clear surface, I found the courage to ask her what I'd been wanting to ask for days.

"Master..." I began cautiously, grabbing her attention.

"What is it?" she inquired.

"Master Windu... why didn't you train me like he trained you?"

Her hand froze mid sweeping motion.

"Would you mind giving us some privacy?" my master requested to Ahsoka.

The feisty togruta rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll see you at the debriefing, (y/n)." she stated, reluctantly taking her leave.

With Ahsoka gone, an awkward silence spread out between my master and I, localized to our small bubble amid the bustling hangar.

"Why didn't you train me like he trained you?" I repeated.

"Because it wasn't necessary." Master Gallia answered abruptly. "Despite our occasional disagreements, you've always been disciplined, even before I took you in."

"So... if I hadn't been willing, you would have locked me in a room." I accused, reaching the natural conclusion.

"Yes." she answered, unfazed.

"I don't believe you." I asserted.

"Then you don't know me." she shot back, retreating into the shell of her stoicism.

"Sure." I agreed sarcastically, feeling the rising tension. "Don't be late to the council... master."

With that, I left her to her devices... and her self-inflicted deceit.

After catching up with Ahsoka, it wasn't long before we stood before the twelve council members.

Well, eleven. Master Kenobi stood in the center of the chamber with Ahsoka, Anakin, and I.

My master made it on time, predictably.

https://youtu.be/g9y35RQjcgc

"Forgive me Master Kenobi, what exactly were these... beings you encountered?" Master Windu pried.

"They identified themselves as 'force-wielders.'" the beared Jedi responded. "As for their origins, well... padawan (l/n) here suspects that we might have stumbled upon a realm spoke of only in legend. Specifically, Mortis."

"Impossible." Master Mundi proclaimed, as skeptical as ever.

"He's never been right." Anakin whispered to Ahsoka and I out of the corner of his mouth.

It took everything we had to not snicker.

As the briefing continued, I became more and more detached.

I was reminded of every instant on Mortis where I'd been thrown into a wall.

The Father... the Son... Anakin.

Tossing me around like a ragdoll.

And the Son's lightning...

Later

"Master... I need more guidance on how to fortify my whill." I told her, spotting her as she bench-pressed a measly sixty kilograms.

"Really, I'm not the one you should be asking." she admitted, finishing her set. "Go to Master Yoda. He's the only Jedi I know to have mastered it."

Heeding her advice, I met with Master Yoda in one of the meditation chambers the following day.

"You've seen force lightning, haven't you Master Yoda?" I asked.

"Indeed, have I." Master Yoda confirmed, his eyes closed. "A way to surrender to the force, you seek, hm?"

"A way to resist it." I corrected, at which the little green master's long ears twitched.

"Mm, but only avoid simple waves of the force, can I." the elder elucidated. "Against Dooku's lightning, a little less effective, hm?"

Master Yoda opened his eyes, gesturing me to sit on the meditation platform next to him.

"Are we going to practice?" I questioned, having expected that the Grandmaster would use the force on me for training.

"Practicing, you are." he asserted. "Your eyes, close them."

'Great.' I thought to myself, it dawning on me that I'd be wasting several hours.

"For eight-hundred years have I walked alongside the force. My ally it is, my closest friend."

'I don't have eight-hundred years, Master Yoda!' I roared mentally.

"You are stubborn." Master Yoda commented, and I suspected that he'd somehow heard my thoughts. "Within you, the force is, hm? Fight it, you cannot. Join it, you must."

Later

"Metal and muscle... everything physical eventually reaches a climax. I call it... shatterpoint." HK-74 declared dramatically.

"Oh, shatterpoint?" I repeated. "That's the same as the ability that bastard Master Win-"

"No!" the hulking droid denied strongly. "Damn you Jedi for stealing that... I came up with it first!"

"Okay... okay... I didn't know a droid could get this passionate." I teased. "What is it exactly? Your version, I mean."

"A moment in time where everything changes." HK-74 stated cryptically. "Eventually, all material reaches its shatterpoint: it's forced to adapt, or fracture. I think living beings are similar."

Later

Naturally, the trio that consisted of Ahsoka, Anakin, and Master Kenobi quickly became occupied, and I soon bid farewell to Ahsoka once again as she left for another mission.

I wanted to join them... I wanted more than anything to be able to join them as an equal.

But I wasn't ready. I needed more time.

And so I found myself on the temple roof.

Suddenly, I heard it again.

"Flap. Flap. Flap."

Wingbeats.

I took in a deep breath.

"I've had enough of these games!" I yelled into the void. "Whatever you are, show yourself!"

My shouts ricocheted off of the surrounding skyscrapers.

Once the echoes died down, I was left alone with nothing but the high altitude winds.

Nothing. No response.

Out of nowhere, a dark aura manifested, three meters above me.

The shadows swirled together, writhing, until they coalesced into a small creature.

Webbed wings...

Sharp fangs...

And a blackened fur that crept from its throat to its nape.

A bat.

My hand darted toward my belt instinctively, only...

There was no lightsaber. Of course... of course.

"You called for me?" the phantom inquired, sounding thoroughly uninterested.

As soon as I heard the it speak, every hair on the back of my neck shot up in unison.

"You...! You died!" I blurted out, backing up a few steps.

Him... that voice...!

Those beady red eyes.

The Son.

"So I did." the bat responded, annoyed. "And now... I'm here."

"But how?" I demanded, appalled at the ghost hovering above me.

"There are... a great many things you Jedi have yet to discover... when it comes to the force." he stated cryptically.

A thought occured to me.

"Your power... you lent it to me." I reminded, hating myself for what I was about to ask. "Can you do it again?"

"No." the Son spat smugly. "Not that I would help you otherwise."

With a sinister flap of his wings, the Son swooped down toward my head.

I raised my metal-shrouded hands to protect myself... but, unbeknownst to me, that wasn't necessary.

He merely passed through me, never making physical contact.

A phantom, a spirit... a ghost in every sense of the word.

'So it's like that... he is dead... sort of?' I thought to myself, relieved. 'But why follow me?'

"Because... even after you outlived your usefulness, I never successfully severed our connection... no thanks to your bothersome meddling." the Son elucidated, his fangs curling into a sadistic smile as he stared upon my shocked expression. "Yes, I hear everything."

"But... I..." I sputtered, unnerved. "You had... several other opportunities."

"I forgot." the winged wraith spat."You're forgettable."

"Then forget me, permanently." I commanded, glaring into his bloodstained pupils. "I don't want to see you anymore."

"Oh, it's far too late for that!" the Son cackled. "You foiled my plans... now I return the favor. Because now, thanks to you, there's nothing else for me to do..."

"Nothing else for you to ruin." I corrected, turning away from the dark specter.

https://youtu.be/OdzHOsuuoRU

Up here, I could see everything...

The crevices between blocks of cityscape that lead to the bottom, where the air-quality was no better than it would be in a room full of deathstick junkies hotboxing.

The roadways, as dangerous as they were fast, each driver of each speeder more short-tempered than the last.

The Skyscrapers, their smooth, glassy surfaces brushing against the clouds, like a farmer picking at low-hanging fruit.

...

All my life, I'd known who I wanted to be... where I wanted to go.

All this time, it had been right in front of me.

I'd seen others go there. But I couldn't.

A glass prison.

That's how it always was.

Invisible forces, tugging at me...

Holding me down.

Knocking me off my feet.

And now... I was finally forced to come to terms with a simple fact: no one was in my corner. Not the force... and not the dark side.

Sighing, I tilted my head back and laid eyes on the gray sky.

It reminded me of a gloomy day I'd spent with Ahsoka all those years ago.

Well... not exactly gloomy.

For how could rain be gloomy to two children who'd never seen it before?

Flashback

"Why does it hardly ever rain?" Ahsoka asked, holding her arm out over the temple balcony.

A raindrop splattered onto her orange palm.

"The Republic manages the weather...?" I suggested, recalling a vague passage from an informational book I'd read. "I think they have to with how the planet was built."

"Well, I wish they'd manage it less." she stated, leaning against the ornate architecture of the balcony rail.

I joined her, and we each stared up at the dark clouds with wonder in our eyes.

"CRACKOWWWW!"

Instantaneous, jagged light fell from the clouds, striking the tallest tower.

The violent flash had us reeling back.

"I've never seen that before!" I exclaimed, turning to Ahsoka.

She had the same stupid grin on her face as me.

End Flashback

That was the first time I'd ever seen lightning.

Oh how I wanted to climb that lightning... to reach the sky.

"Flap. Flap. Flap."

The Son's dark spirit fluttered down to my level, landing on my shoulder.

It was strange... not feeling physical contact where it should have been.

"Why up here, of all places? Does it make you feel more significant, more in control?" he remarked snidely."Perhaps it helps you distance yourself from your measly birthright."

I took a deep breath, considering a few possible rebuttals.. but thought better of it.

I'd already climbed up here with one goal in mind.

A little bat ghost breathing down my neck changed nothing.

I was going to train atop the Jedi Temple...

I was going to master one of the seven forms...

And I wasn't going to leave the roof until I succeeded.

https://youtu.be/TzZV51aTaTQ

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho...

Lightsaber Form II, Makashi...

Lightsaber Form III, Soresu...

Lightsaber Form IV, Ataru...

And every physical exercise known to the galaxy.

Everything I'd learned...

Day One

It started with pushups.

One...

"Clap!"

Two...

"Clap!"

Eventually, I reached a thousand.

After that, I began with the basics of lightsaber combat.

Then I moved through the forms I knew, one by one, until sundown.

I then took a break, holding a handstand for twenty minutes.

It was then that I heard my stomach audibly gurgle, and I realized how hungry I was.

As if on cue, I saw Master Gallia, upside-down, strolling toward me with a tray of food from the cafeteria.

"Thanks." I mumbled, immediately stuffing my face with a green paste. I didn't care to find out what it was.

"I got a complaint from the astronomy class... about you." my master stated, watching me scarf down another morsel. "When will you be done?"

"When I'm done." I answered shortly, gulping down a grain substance. "I'm not leaving anytime soon."

Master Gallia shook her head disapprovingly, but she knew there was no reasoning with me.

"Have you gotten to Form V?" she pried.

"I've only looked at it a bit." I admitted.

"Then let's start from the beginning." she urged taking her stance. "Lightsaber Form V, Djem So. It's called the Perserverance Form."

"I already like it." I grinned, copying her stance.

"It's the most physical form, though that's not exactly true." Master Gallia droned on. "You can't utilize the force like an Ataru master would to enhance their mobility, therefore IV is the most demanding for you."

"So I'll be fine." I stated.

"So you'll be fine." she echoed.

Day Two

Master Gallia continued to bring me food each day.

On day two, I told her all about the ghost haunting me.

Initially, she didn't believe me, but after briefly synching with me, she too saw the dark apparition.

"Best not to tell the council." she advised, surprising me.

"You don't think they would want to know?" I asked, though, in all reality, I was perfectly okay with leaving them in the dark. "This is unprecedented... living beyond death."

"That's true, but the war is our priority. The Son can't hurt you, or anyone else in this form. The council doesn't need to know." she justified, her brow furrowing. "Ultimately, it's more a burden on you than anything. I'm sorry, I know the last thing you need is another hurdle to overcome."

"When he, when the Son possessed me, it felt like everything fell into place." I admitted shamefully. "I finally felt powerful... significant. The worst part is... I liked it. Even now, I want it again."

Master Gallia pondered my confession.

"Padawan... do you remember all those times I warned you of the consequences of your emotions?" she inquired suddenly.

"Yeah, of course." I recalled.

"Truthfully, I lied." she revealed, stunning me. "That is to say, I've never sensed the dark side in you."

"You said you felt my anger, my resentment!" I protested.

"You wear those on your sleeve." she responded. "If I focus hard, I can feel your emotions, but never without intent."

"So that's how it is." I grumbled, unhappy with the revelation. "I'm no different than anyone in the street in the eyes of the force."

"Your potential to fall to the dark side... is essentially zero, and I think you know why that is. Your emotions, your inner darkness... they can't corrupt you like they can others." Master Gallia further expounded, then getting serious. "But don't be so foolish to think that means they hold no power over you."

Day Three

Lightsaber Form II, Makashi: Severance.

"Master... did you ever know Count Dooku?" I asked.

"Yes, but not well." she responded, tossing me a bottle of liquid protein. "He was acquainted with my master, that's all."

"How powerful is he?" I inquired, watching the Count's holographic image exercise form II, as I had so many times.

"You'd lose in seconds." she stated bluntly. "Neither you or I would fair well against him."

"Figures." I muttered, unsurprised.

"His swordsmanship exudes an air of superiority... he fights with the assumption that he's better than you. And, he is."

"Well, that's not saying much." I stated plainly, still fixated on the recording. "It's like he's not even human, like he's a droid..."

"He's impossibly precise." Master Gallia agreed. "Though, his weakness lies in his lack of raw power. He's the opposite of Grievous: all of the polish, but none of the punch."

After she left, I continued studying form II.

Lightsaber Form II, Makashi: Piercing Shards.

As I cross-referenced my thrusts with that of Count Dooku, refining my Makashi, the dark angel on my shoulder nagged me relentlessly.

"Everything that occurs within this galaxy does so by the will of the force." the Son stated. "You lose... because you were always meant to lose. You fail... because that is how it was written. You think you can tear through the pages of fate?"

"I think you have a vivid imagination, that's what I think." I stated dryly, stabbing at specific, faraway windows I'd honed in on.

"You're not listening. It's not that the force can't help you. It won't." the Son insisted, sounding frustrated. "That's why you need to help yourself."

I ignored him until I completed one-hundred thrusts.

"What do you think I've been trying to do my entire life?" I sputtered, wiping the sweat off my brow.

"I've seen it... the future... a galaxy in chains, the people suffering..." the Son babbled on, ignoring me."Is that the force you hold so dearly?!"

"Please shut up." I begged.

"I'm sure you've asked it to yourself as well... 'why should the will of the force take precedance over mine?!'" the Son growled. "I sought to alter the future, but now that dream is dead."

"Like you. Dead and irrelevant." I insulted.

"Your dream is also dead." the Son shot back. "No... much like a stillborn child, it was never alive."

Day Four

"We've been assigned a new mission." Master Gallia revealed, her hands behind her back. "Defending an outpost in the mid-rim. A simple task."

My heart sank.

Another mission? So soon?

I wasn't ready.

"I don't know..." I stated, unsure.

"I won't force you to go." Master Gallia assured, sensing my discomfort. "Just ask yourself this... what's keeping you from going?

After she left me with that simple question, I was forced to confront myself.

Lightsaber Form III, Soresu: Looking Glass.

Holding the sword over my head, just as I'd seen Masters Kenobi and Luminara do, I pictured several blasters bolts flying at me.

My sword danced through the air, reflecting every imaginary dart of plasma.

'Time to ramp up the difficulty.' I decided.

Suddenly, it wasn't one, or two bolts aimed for my vitals.

A whole platoon of battle droids were firing volley upon volley at me.

...

For a brief moment, the gears in my mind chugged to a halt.

Multiple blaster bolts, coming at me from every angle...?

I couldn't deflect that many.

Flashback

"Pshew! Pshew! Pshew!"

A barrage of bright red laser fire lit up the tunnel.

"Look out!" I yelled, diving out of the way.

Thankfully, I avoided the ambush without injury.

"Aaaaaghh!"

Slipstream... Slipstream wasn't so lucky.

End Flashback

Surely... surely there was a way.

...

Lightsaber Form IV, Ataru: Jetstream.

Day Five

"You smell as if you soaked in stink for a week, and then promptly baked in the sun for a day." Master Gallia commented, pinching her nose as she handed me breakfast.

"Those who are clean... are without ambition." I muttered, trying to sound cool.

"I'd say you're full of shit... but you literally could be." she stated, deadpan, before leaving me to my training.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

I twisted my body leftward, building up energy, as if pulling back a tree branch.

I held the sword's hilt close to my body.

Finally, I unleashed my energy in one true slash.

Then, I did it again.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

And again.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

Again.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

Lightsaber Form I, Shii-Cho: Crescendo.

My arms could barely move the next day.

Day Six

Looking down, I spotted the temple steps below.

Eight things kept me from splattering onto them.

My fingers, desperately clinging to the roof's edge.

Fifty cliffside pullups... hopefully not to failure.

One...

Two...

Three...

"Do you fear death?" the Son snickered ominously."There isn't a being alive that doesn't fear death."

Four...

Five...

Six...

...

...

...

Fifty...

That night, I spread the lightsaber components of my bag onto the roof.

I had done so every night.

My crystal sat in the center of the miscellaneous components, a star anchoring them in a miniature solar system.

The only crystal to choose me.

But it was so...

'Grievous... you should be looking for Grievous.' the crystal urged.

Annoying!

Grievous this, Grievous that.

A one-note gemstone, weighing me down with more expectations.

That night, my attempts to assemble a functioning lightsaber ending how they always ended...

Failure.

Day Seven

As the days went by, I rested less and less.

There was no time to, and even when there was, it was difficult to rest with two disembodied voices berating you constantly.

My technique worsened, a far cry from the mastery I had hoped for.

I fixed a problem, then another arose. I fixed that problem, then the previous one reared its ugly head once more.

Eventually, my basics broke down too, and I was left sluggishly swinging my sword in a stupor.

When Master Gallia found me, the sword was no longer in my hand.

I was sitting cross-legged, my eyes glazed over, my body limp.

"We leave tomorrow." my master informed. "Are you really not going?"

"I can't... not until... I finish this." I droned sleepily.

"Padawan..." my master groaned, exasperated. "You really do need to sleep."

"Master, maybe I'm... just not cut out to be a Jedi." I mumbled.

"...What?" she responded in disbelief, taking a moment to process what I'd said. "No... no, I won't have this!"

"I can't do this anymore." I moaned, my spirits drenched.

Without warning, I felt her grab me by the shoulders, lifting me up with her newfound strength.

"FINISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO!" she snarled, her piercing blue eyes boring into mine.

A moment passed, and she saw her harshness reflected in my eyes.

"Sorry..." she mumbled, letting me down before hurrying away.

Day Eight

On the eighth day, I never started my training.

Master Gallia arrived at the same time as usual.

"We leave today." she informed, her arms crossed. "This is your last chance. Are you going, or not?"

I reflexively opened my mouth to answer, but my doubts blocked the air from passing through my lips.

Amidst my moment of uncertainty, my moment of vulnerability, the voices attacked.

'Go! If there's even the slimmest chance that Grievous will be there, you must go.' the crystal urged.

'I knew it. Hahaha!' the Son jeered. 'So you do fear it.'

As my master awaited my response, my mind waged a a silent war against itself.

When I finally made my decision, the voices rose to a crescendo, one after another.

The Son's relentless cackling.

The crystal's sharp demands.

Lastly, my own, inner voice...

Disappointed, ashamed.

"No."

https://youtu.be/fNemOSe5hSo