DISCLAIMER: A lot of LaToya's POV are flashbacks. These flashbacks are from her book "Starting Over" a lot of it was in her own words DIRECTLY  from the book (because I wanted to make this story as real as possible), with some events exaggerated by me. For those parts I give all credit to her....so before I get attacked about "plagiarism" please know that I give all credit to LaToya Jackson on some of these events in her life, and her work. Thank you.

Tatiana's POV

"Tatiana, are you ready yet?!" Michael calls from the bottom steps.

"In a minute, Michael!" I yell going through my makeup bag in a rush.

"Well hurry! I want to get there early!"

"Damn, you're so impatient..." I snort to myself applying a light layer of lip gloss to my lips.

In about an hour we are to be at the airport, on our way to be back on the Bad Tour. I can't help but smile at myself in the mirror. Everything now seemed right.

I'm back on tour to be reunited with my best friends, and doing what I love the most.

With the man I love the most.

"Tatiana.." a voice interrupts my thoughts as I turn around seeing Michael. He's wearing a red button up shirt, with a black bomber jacket over it. His curly hair is pulled back with his usual black curl going down his forehead.

He bites his bottom lip slowly staring at me causing me to blush and look down.

"I'm sorry, I'll be ready in a minute..." I say looking down zipping my makeup bag up.

I throw it in my carry on, and looks up at Michael who's still staring at me.

"What?" I chuckle softly putting my bag over my shoulder.

"Nothing..." he smirks slowly and suddenly he lunges at me. I squeal loudly as I land on the bed with him on top of me.He begins to kiss my neck quickly causing me to laugh.

"Michael! Move!" I whine squirming under him. He intertwines my leg with his locking me down on the bed.

"No, I kinda like this position." he teases causing me to roll my eyes. He laughs and leans down pressing his lips against mine, kissing me slowly.

"Thank you for coming back." he whispers. "Even though I didn't act like it, I really missed you..." his voice becomes even softer as he stares in my eyes.

I feel my face heat up at the effect he's having on me at this moment. Our lips brush against each other, before he slowly presses his lips against mine;

"MICHAEL!" someone yells in the hallway.

Micheal and I groan lightly as he presses his forehead again, closing his eyes.

"What?" Michael calls back irritated on our kiss being cut short.

"It's time to go!" Wayne yells, receiving a sigh from Michael. He climbs off of me as I get off the bed. He grabs my bag and kisses my forehead. He trails down to my lips and pecks at my lips making me giggle.

"We'll finish this later.." he chuckles walking out the bedroom. I blush following after him as he jogs down the steps quickly with my bag over his shoulder.

We walk out to the limo in the circular driveway, seeing Bill and several of Michael's bodyguards loading suitcases in the trunk of the limo. As we walk to the car, Michael opens the door for me as I slide in.

"Michael."

I see Bill behind him as Michael turns around.

"We gotta talk."

LaToya's POV

Paul Walker.

Even though I met him only a few hours ago, the thought of his name makes me smile like an idiot. And I haven't had much to smile about in a long time. There was just something about his ocean blue eyes, and personality that seemed to pull me in.

I walk down the hall going to the spare room, furrowing my eyebrows and shakes my head picking out clothes for Paul.

I'm never getting pulled in again. That's how I ended up here in the first place.

*Flashback*

It was 1984 when I first met Jack Gordon. I was attending the Grammy's with my family showing support for Michael's album "Thriller". Janet, Rebbie, Brooke Shields, Michael, Manny, and I all sat together in the second row.

I sigh listening to Lionel Richie give an acceptance speech, and Michael chew on his gum nervously fidgeting in his seat.

"Toya..." Michael whispers to me adjusting his Ray Bans.

"That guy over there keeps staring at you."

I look in Michael's direction seeing an older man, in the the row across from us. He looks over at me and grins before looking away.

"Oh God, he's old.." I whisper as Michael puts a sequin gloved hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Age ain't nothing but a number, girl." he teases.

"That's a big number..." I giggle softly shaking my head. "Show me someone young, and we'll talk."

Michael shifts in his seat looking at the man through his shades.

"He was following us when we came in." Michael whispers softly.

"Maybe he wants to work with you..."

"I doubt it. He has the hots for you." he snickers. "He hasn't stopped looking at you."

Later that night after Michael won eight awards, we went on the red carpet before heading to the after-parties.

I look out the corner of my eyes seeing the same man from earlier. He kept following us everywhere that night and finally approached my father, Joseph at the Grammy after party.

"Who is that?" Janet asks nodding towards Joseph and Jack.

"Toya's new boyfriend." Michael snickers pulling Brooke next to him.

I look over at Michael giving him a face, as Michael laughs sweetly.

"Come on Toy..." he giggles playfully. "He isn't that bad looking."

"Michael." Brooke hisses. " You can almost see hair coming out of his ears." she snorts, making Janet and I fall out laughing.

*End of flashback*

I sigh as I brush my hair back as I walk in the closet. I pull out a white t-shirt with light blue jeans that would match Paul's eyes.

I can't help but blush at the thought of him looking at me.

"Ohmygawd. What's wrong with me?"  I think to myself.

Paul is Jack's son.

He could be the same hot-tempered, manipulative, cruel....the devil's spawn. 

I walk back to Paul's room and opens the door.

"Hey..."

I look up and sees Paul come out the bathroom. I slowly look up at him feeling my face heat up. He's wiping his face that's dripping from the shower. A white robe is wrapped around his waist tightly, water droplets roll down his perfectly tan body complimented by his abs. 

I feel my heart race as I freeze. "God please forgive me."  I pray to myself trying to remind myself of my Jehovah faith.

And yet I still can't peel my eyes away.

"LaToya?"

I blush deeply meeting his bright eyes as he stares at me, drying his hair with a towel. I blink quickly and looks away putting his clothes on the bed quickly.

"Here, uhm.." I stutter my head down avoiding his gaze. "I-I got your clothes..." I mumble turning around quickly heading to the door.

"Hey, you don't have to leave.." he says to me. "It would be nice to have some company..."

Now your motives are coming through.

I quickly turn around feeling violated. I cross my arms staring at him, squinting my eyes.

"And who do I look like?" I ask him coldly. He raises a confused eyebrow at me, as I scoff shaking my head.

"You don't think I know what you're up too?" I say motioning to his almost naked body.
"In case you didn't know I'm a lady and a Jehovah witness, I don't know what you think--"

"Hey, Hey...." Paul says holding onto his towel with one hand, grabbing his clothes with the other.

"I didn't mean it like that..." he says his face flushing as he goes in the bathroom. "I meant just sit down and talk."

I feel myself blush as I look down at my fingers. "O-oh.." I say embarrassed. He chuckles and peeks out the bathroom staring at me with a boyish grin.

"I mean I wouldn't mind it..." he jokes slipping on his white tee, coming out fully dressed. I feel my face turn into a deep shade of red as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"O-oh..."

"That's all you can say?" I think to myself.

He chuckles as he starts to put on a pair of white socks.

"So it possible we can just sit, and talk?"

I nod staring at him, as I sit down in a chair still cautious of him and his charming personality.

After all.... the devil can charm an angel.

"Can I ask you something?" Paul asks leaning forward. I nod simply as he furrows his eyebrows. He bites his cheek for a moment before asking ;

"How did it first begin? Like with my father?"

I swallow hard looking down.

*Flashback*

Soon after the grammy's, I was co-hosting the popular '80s television program Solid Gold, which featured different established recording artists performing their latest hit song each week.

I smiled into the camera and read my lines from the cue cards, I could feel someone staring at me so intently that I couldn't help but look in his direction.

It was the same strange man from the Grammy awards.

Our eyes meet, and I gave him a friendly smile, just to be polite. He was a small man, neatly shaven with close-cropped dark hair and an impeccably tailored suit.

"He must work here.." I think to myself.

But the strange thing about it was he didn't do anything at all.He never introduced himself to me, or spoke to me.

He just stared, and watched.

It almost seemed as if it was a setup. Like he was only there because I was. As if he had set his sights on me specifically.

Soon after, I was hired to give an interview on another TV show. I walked in my dressing room and it looked like a florist's shop. I had never seen so many beautiful flowers in one room in my life.

"What the..." I whisper picking up a card opening it.

I opened the many cards, and they were all from the same person;

Jack Gordon.

I thought it was a nice gesture. But these kinds of gifts – admittedly, in smaller quantities -- happen so often in show business that it's almost customary. I put the card down as I think of Michael's teasing.

"God..." I groan.

"Is something wrong?" a voice says from behind me making me jump. I turn around meeting Jack's eyes.

"Oh no.." I say holding my chest giving a small laugh. "You scared me.."

"I'm Jack Gordon." he says extending a hand letting me shake it. "I'm the producer of GM Today, I spoke to your father on you being here."

I give a small smile and nods inwardly cringing. I didn't tell him that I didn't want to do his show and was only there because Joseph had told me to do it.

It seemed like after that Jack was everywhere. Every event I was at, every restaurant, the house...

There was a specific time I remember when I went on a ten-city radio promotional tour for my third studio album, Heart Don't Lie, and Janet came along with me to NYC for the promotion.

"What's his deal anyway?" Janet whispers as I shake my head as we walk to my hotel room.

"I don't know." I mutter. "I just get this weird feeling around him. And it's not like that butterfly feeling. Something doesn't feel right."

I open the door to my hotel room walking in with Janet following behind me. I look at the bureau in my suite. Sitting there is a vase with a huge bouquet of flowers. I sigh and nods towards them.

"Oh.." Janet breathe out walking to the floral arrangement. "These are gorgeous.." she whispers smelling them.

"Every suite I go to, he sends flowers." 

"Maybe he's just being nice, Toya.." Janet shrugs, admiring a pink tea rose.

"I think he's stalking me." I whisper.

But then again, that was not uncommon in my family. Screaming girls had waited outside the gates of Hayvenhurst for my brothers since the first day we moved in, and we once found an obsessed female fan that had been living in Michael's closet for three days.

"Ehh I don't know." I shake my head giving a slight giggle. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid.."

"Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure soon he'll get over it. He's probably just starstruck." she shrugs. 

Little did I know that the real manipulation and brain washing was soon to happen.

*End Of Flashback*

"How did what begin?" I ask him softly as he shrugs sitting back.

"Like how did the crazy fuck become your manager?"

I shift uncomfortably at Paul's term of Jack, thinking what would possibly happen if Jack found out.

*Flashback*

"God I can't wait to go to L.A....." I giggle to Michael over the phone. "Seeing you guys perform again is going to be incredible."

Michael sighs over the phone. He really wasn't to pleased or excited about doing the "Victory Tour" with my brothers. He wanted to focus on his own music and projects. The only reason why he was doing it was because mother wanted him to, badly.

"I guess..." he mumbles. "I just want to get this over with." 

"Come on..it shouldn't be that bad."

"Hopefully." he chuckles. "I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you too. Michael, I have to go...I have a doctors appointment."

"Alright, goodbye.." he says hanging up the phone.

For the last few days I wasn't feeling very well. The doctor had bad news: I needed an emergency hemorrhoidal operation. I guess that's what I get for my lifelong love of Tabasco sauce, jalapenos, and anything else that burns the stomach. It was so painful to stand or walk, I couldn't go to the concert.

Jack saw this as an opportunity to make his move. He sent flowers, get well cards, and candy. Every day there was a new gift waiting for me. He kept calling the security booth, trying to talk to me. When I wouldn't see him, he tried another tactic.

"I have a gift for you," he said when he finally got me on the phone.

"You shouldn't have," I said. "But thank you. If you leave it at the security booth, they'll give it me."

"No." he said firmly. "I need to give it to you in person." 

And of course, I couldn't object. He's done so much for me, I felt obligated. 

The walk downstairs was so incredibly painful to walk from the grand front stairway to where he waited in the foyer.

"Hello Jack..." I greet him with a smile, trying to hide my pain.

Little did I know he would cause more pain in my life.

When I started feeling better, Jack invited me to lunch. As a Jehovah's Witness, I couldn't socialize with men unless a third party was there because we might have sinful thoughts. Like I could even have sinful thoughts about him....

I declined as politely as possible. That's when the mental manipulation began, only I was too naïve to see it at the time.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you too good to be with a normal person who's not a Jackson?"

His accusation wounded me deeply. I didn't want him, or anyone else, to think I was a snob when it wasn't true. And because he wasn't someone I wanted to date, I didn't think it would go against the rules of Jehovah's Witness.

"Of course I'll have lunch with you," I said.

"Great," he said. "Could you bring some money? I'm not doing very well financially at the moment, and I don't have any."

Rather than being put off, or suspicious, I actually felt better about meeting him. Here was someone who needed help. I could provide it and was more than happy to do so. This all made our lunch perfectly acceptable for me as a Jehovah's Witness.

Since it wasn't a date, I dressed like any other day, in slacks and a blouse, and I wasn't nervous about seeing Jack. As I drove to meet him at Gaylords, an Indian restaurant on La Cienega, I stopped at my bank and withdrew a thousand dollars.

While we ate, Jack grilled me about my family, career and income. Having only known members of my family and my religion, it didn't occur to me to be suspicious, and I answered honestly. When the bill came, I didn't want to embarrass him, so I handed him the money under the table. He paid the bill and pocketed the rest. I was a little shocked by this, but I didn't say anything. I had never confronted anyone in my life, because Joseph or security always did so for me. Here I was alone, with a man I didn't know very well, and I didn't want to be rude.

That was the first of many lunches over the next few weeks. Jack had found an easy mark, and he knew it. At each lunch he asked me to, I handed him a thousand dollars. Looking back, I can't believe what a fool I was. But at the time, I was acting with the generosity I had been taught to show others.

Joseph soon set Jack up perfectly by allowing him to start handling certain areas of my career. Up until then, I had been happy to have Joseph manage me. But I was becoming restless. Although I was twenty-eight, I was very naïve to the world. I thought I should be on my own, even though my parents disagreed. I begged them to let me get my own place, but mother and Joseph always felt it was too dangerous out in the world.

"You can move out when you're married," they told me.

I didn't want to be under my parents' control anymore. I wanted to grow up and do things on my own, and in the way I thought was best.

I never realized how fickle the entertainment industry was and how many people would love me and want to work with me while I was hot, only to drop me the instant some hot new act came along. But Joseph (as strict as he was) would love me unconditionally and want what was best for me. All I knew was that I wanted to be independent, and that meant I wanted out of my contract with Joseph. As soon as Jack heard this, he did everything in his power to make the split happen as quickly as possible.

Finally, Jack brought an attorney to see me who had written a letter stating that I was resigning from my father's management. All I had to do was sign.

As soon as Jack convinced me to do it, I felt knots in my stomach as I thought about it making its way to Joseph's office, where he would open and read it. I was scared of how he would react, and every time I saw him for the next few days, I waited for him to explode. But he never said anything to me about it.

*End Of Flashback*

I look down at my hands and lets out a sigh. "And that's how my hell began.." I whisper, as Paul stares at my sympathetically.

"Why does he hit you and stuff?" he asks shifting on the bed staring at me. "Like when was the first time he did?"

I shrug and looks down.

"I can't remember." I breathe out shakily. "He just hits me if I won't do something, or basically if he's angry at anything."

"Have you told anyone?" he asks furrowing his eyebrows slightly, his expression unreadable.

"Who could I possibly tell?" I chuckle softly. "I'm not allowed to use the phones. And when I do, Jack has to be there and tell me what to say."

Paul stares at me with a blank expression, before looking slightly angry. He balls his fist with one hand, his other hand over it.

"Well you told me." he mumbles. "And as soon as I see that shithead, I swear..."

I shoot a look up at him. "You can't do that, he'll beat me. He'll kill you." I start to feel my heart pound. 

"He'll never touch you again." he stares in my eyes, causing me to feel lightheaded.

"Paul, it was my fault. I signed a contract, and I have to honor it."

"And who told you that?" he snorts. "My father? You're his boss. You can fire him."

"No Paul. I can't.." I whisper shaking my head.

"And why not?"

"Because.." I swallow hard "If I speak out against Jack, or try to get free from all of this--"

I pause and releases a shaky breath. "He'll kill Michael."

"What?"

"He'll kill Michael. And I don't doubt him either.." I swallow hard. "You know Tatiana's car accident?"

He stares at me slowly raise an eyebrow. "Yes..." he says slowly.

"It wasn't a car accident Paul. He did it." I meet his eyes slowly. "He cut the breaks to her car..."

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Hello lovies!

The next upcoming chapters are going to have some flashbacks of Latoya's meeting Jack. It's kinda important with the story because LaToya's story will end up tying into Tatiana and Michael, and some things that will be happening on tour. And when I say "some things" I mean more bombshells. I tried to make the chapter long as possible! Consider it as my Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, what ever beautiful holiday you celebrate this season) gift to you!! Happy holidays!

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moonwalkergal