When the light shines ~ Lover

I felt a kiss on the top of my head as he laid his on mine. His left hand reached over his lap to pull my right thigh in, as if he wanted us to be closer.

I wince in my head, realising that he's probably having a hard time lifting a heavy man like me.

I tried to get off but he wouldn't have it. I growled, yes, growled, at me and made me freeze before continuing what he was doing. Both my legs were over his lap and I was squeezed into his frame. It felt amazing but I didn't let a smile slip through.

"What were you doing Pete?" He asked after a while. I didn't reply. "Did you eat?" He then asked instead, and the question made me travel back to what'd happened after coming home for shopping.

I remember clearly, how I'd made the burger as if it was the most normal thing, gulping it down in one go. What had been thinking?

"Hey, stop that."

I looked up at him, wondering what he was talking about.

"That face you have whenever you're over thinking things. I thought you'd fix it last week when I saw you with it. But, it's gotten worse and you're just worrying me."

He's finding ways to throw me out.

"What's going on Pete? Talk to me."

No.

If I talk, you're going to let me go.

And as pathetic I am, a big coward, I don't care.

I don't want to leave.

I can't live without you in my life.

I can never—

"Look, how about we watch a movie together, huh? I feel like we haven't done that in a long time."

I thought about the idea. Was I really bothering him to make him take time to calm me down? And he wasn't wrong. It'd been months since we did anything romantic together. And watching a movie together wasn't romantic at all, when all we do is sit on the same area watching the screen.

"And I'll go make those burgers. Your's is with extra cheese right? You look like you haven't eaten in days."

That's because I haven't.

But I didn't correct him, because I was more interested in better things.

"You noticed?"

I must've sounded horribly pathetic, because he looked at me like I was accusing him. "Of course, how can I not? So, what is it? You haven't been eating properly?" He patted my stomach and I tired to move away.

Now that he knew, I didn't know if I liked it or not.

"It is something like stomach aches?" He pressed more into my body and I shut my eyes, trying not to let the tears from falling.

Pathetic.

Attention whore.

You got what you want, what more?

"Pete, talk to me."

I shook my head.

"Pete, open you eyes now."

I flickered them open so he didn't raise his voice anymore. A tear slipped without my permission.

He caught them, wiping my cheek. He cradled my face and I wondered what he was seeing. I though of those days when we used to have so much fun. It had been so long, that I almost mistook them as dreams. Had my life become so pitiful that I didn't even want to change it?

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